When I was born, my mother looked at me with the greatest disgust. She was none other than Kybyrian, but unfortunately she died while giving birth to the youngest child of the bunch. It was a really sad time in my life, even though I don't remember much of it, only being four. But if I had had a greater conscience at the time, I'm sure it would have been extremely traumatic. I was also dropped on my head as a baby, so I have extreme memory problems. Growing up, I only had my dad, who is Nicole on the forums. Nicole raised me with the greatest love and we played catch together with a baseball. My father tried to teach me how to play baseball and basketball and do manly things, and when I disappointed him he would hit me.
I grew up alongside my brothers and sisters. Ganondork was the first born and had always been the problem child. He peed on the carpet, knocked over vases and was just a pain overall. Being the eldest of the bunch, he bullied myself and the rest of the siblings for years. He wasn't the best big brother ever, having been spoiled by my father at a very young age. Myself and athenian200, who was born shortly before myself, used to hide in fear when my oldest brother used to throw temper tantrums. He eventually flunked out of school and ended up on the streets of Miami, begging for change and peeing in a milk carton.
My other brothers are arkvoodle, Djinn, K4KING and Jesse. They are all younger than me and are ordered by eldest to youngest. K4KING was actually adopted by Nicole, my father, but he never told the poor kid. K4KING lived a life of delusion, thinking that he was indeed of the same blood as the rest of us. Djinn would often mock poor K4KING behind his back for being a mudblood and a muggle. He was also creepily in love with the Harry Potter movie franchise. I often tried to comfort K4KING, but I must admit that even I treated him like less of an equal because he didn't emerge from Kybyrian's child-creating tunnel.
I have three sisters, them being Axle the Beast, Beeker and mandym287. They were also born in that order and are all older than me. Why did Kybyrian have so many children? Well, she really loved Nicole and two decided to have multiple children just for fun. I'm pretty sure they didn't plan to have this many - at least one of us had to be an accident. The adoption of K4KING is the exception, since they really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really wanted a Japanese-Filipino baby.
My sisters were very kind, but sometimes they were far too soft. Axle the Beast was especially compassionate. One time Ganondork stole her popsicle and she didn't do anything to stop him. She just asked if he was enjoying it, and spoke such genuine words. Her caring self has gotten her pushed around over the years, though. Growing up she had may abusive boyfriends and was scarred, bruised and battered. Seeing Axle the Beast suffer was truly painful, and it had a terrible effect on the entire family. Fortunately, Axle decided to seek professional help to heal the deep wounds that her ex-boyfriends inflicted to her.
Beeker and mandym287 were always optimistic and fun to be around. They were best friends around the house and always seemed oblivious of the dark occurrences happening around the house. Yes, we were haunted by ghosts, but that's a different story. All I can say is that we hired Ghostbusters to crack the case, but it turns out those guys were phonies that were putting on a scam to make a horrid animated television show. The nerve of those guys... Anyway, Beeker grew up to become a psychiatrist and mandym287 a crazy cat lady.
I want to visit mandym287, but I'm afraid that she has become the supreme overlord of the feral cats and has tamed them to attack any and all intruders. I'm not even sure if she remembers me. I eventually found the love of my life in Thareous. She was the most beautiful and passionate woman in the world, and I just loved her to death. My friends kept on telling me she was a man, but I didn't believe them. Okay, so Thareous did have a slight mustache and beard, but sometimes women have those, right? Anyway, we got married and had two beautiful children.
Those offspring were Destiny and Ally. Destiny was somehow African. The doctor had a panic attack when he got a look at baby Destiny's head emerging from lily-white Thareous' child-creating tunnel. I guess Thareous had some African blood in her? Anyway, Destiny grew up to become a strong, independent black woman who don't need no man. Despite the color of her skin, she did not like Kentucky Fried Chicken. She actually became vegan and got her protein from protein shakes, and used that to body-build and enter the World's Strongest Woman competition. Needless to say, she beat out the competition with ease and is now officially the world's strongest woman.
And Ally... we're not quite sure what Ally is. When Ally was born (myself, Ganondork, Thareous and Djinn were present at the time), we all gasped in disbelief. Ally somehow wasn't human. She had tentacle-like arms and the head of a fly. We still love her, but we keep her in a "love cage", because we love her. She's lived in the cage now for 18 years, and it's really for her own good. Plus she loves it in there! She always rattles the cages and spazzes violently in happiness! I'm still not sure how I had a black child and some sort of fly octopus hybrid - I'm sure that that's not from my side of the family.
Currently I am divorced from Thareous and am keeping both children. I'm trying to figure out what exactly Thareous is and investigating her family tree. I'm sure somewhere down the line, it has flies, octopuses and African Americans.
ah well
CHILFO FREEZE.