Your Zelda Headcanons

[el :BeoWolf:]

Couldn't find the old thread so here's a fresh thread to spill all your zelda related headcanons into.

- After Skyward Sword, Groose being Mr. tough guy wanted to go out into the world and wound up in the Lanayru desert with some others who enjoy his charisma, and it became grooseland which was corrupted into Gerudo.

- That massive trench isolating hyrule is purely for gameplay, Hyrule isn't isolated from the rest of the world, it was just Nintendo trying to avoid the generic "you can't go this far" force field.

- Hyrule's inconsistent geography can partly be explained by currently unknown countries invading and being invaded. In fact the Rito were long resistant to joining Hyrule until recent history. They're basically Zelda's Switzerland. The hero of time was a part of a diplomatic mission to them that ultimately failed and was forgotten. as depicted on the stone tablets in TP's castle town entrance.

So what are your headcanons pertaining to The Legend of Zelda?

 

[DJ Twitch]

1. Hyrule is only one country within the continent known as Grooseland
2. The world outside Hyrule is developed and stable
3. Vaati only shows up in the Child timeline because Ganondorf hunted him down in the other two
4. OoT Link actually married the girl that's always chasing the cuckoo
5. WW Link bestowed the nickname "Boatie" upon KoRL
6. TP Link died very shortly after his adventure
7. SS Link was born with a heart condition that gives him terrible stamina
8. The CD-i games and the cartoon are canon and feature the same characters, albeit older. They take place in the CT with Ganon II

 

[Sheikah_Witch]

OoT Link is quite the player and had multiple affairs with Malon, Anju, Zelda and Mamamu Yan.
SS Link is ace and aro and had to turn down Zelda repeatedly.
TP Link's heart never healed after Midna's departure. He started drinking and died alone and friendless.
BotW Link married Zelda, but she filed for divorce after he kept eating all of their food.
TWW Link just collects figurines and doesn't have time for girls.
AllttP Link is gay and married Sahasrahla's long lost cousin.
ALBW Link is too, and cheated on the stone boulder guy with the man under the bridge.
LoZ Link doesn't care either way.
AoL Link is error.
The Phillips CD-i Links grew up to be a fine man that both men and women desired, but was too depressed to have time for love.

 

[Spirit]

Twilight Princess Zelda is a dominatrix and Link had an easy time getting over Midna.

 

[Sheikah_Witch]

Twilight Princess Zelda is a dominatrix .

I am in favor of this.

 

[Spiritual Mask Salesman]

All Hylians do drugs. Highlians, hehe.

 

[el :BeoWolf:]

All Hylians do drugs. Highlians, hehe.

They're on mushrooms

 

[Hero of Pizza Time]

All Hylians do drugs. Highlians, hehe.

And all of that "milk" is actually alcohol.

 

[Spiritual Mask Salesman]

And all of that "milk" is actually alcohol.

Well Chateau Romani is alcohol, even though I expanded on why I think so in a sort of joke thread I wrote, there's a pretty compelling parallel to a drink in reality that it's clearly based upon.

 

[mαrkαsscoρ]

link gets involved w/ the hylian drug cartel in link's crossbow training, that's why he's defending those carriages

also termina isn't some parallel world, its just another country neighboring hyrule that just has a really weird way of getting there, just linked via the lost woods/woods of mystery; the marathon man has a summer job there as the post man

 

[Hero of Pizza Time]

link gets involved in the hylian drug cartel in link's crossbow training, that's why he's defending those carriages
also termina isn't some parallel world, its just another country neighboring hyrule that just has a really weird way of getting there, just linked via the lost woods/woods of mystery; the marathon man has a summer job there as the post man

Hyrule - Medeival Europe

Termina - America (late 1800s/early 1900s)

 

[TheGreatCthulhu]

My personal head canons are:

1. OoT/MM Link married Malon.
2. Malon's mother was a Gerudo.
3. OoT/MM Link and ALttP/LA/OoS, OoA Link are the most powerful Links in the series by far.

 

[el :BeoWolf:]

1. OoT/MM Link and ALttP/LA/OoS, OoA Link are the most powerful Links in the series by far.

I can certainly say The hero of legend is quite a mighty foe. Hero of time is up there, but not quite the top. We had at least a couple threads on this. I need to find those

 

[LittleGumball]

ganondorf is a misogynist. he grew up in a tribe of women destined to rule them just because he is a man. this also shaped his mindset into thinking he deserves to rule everything else.

 

[mαrkαsscoρ]

Hyrule - Medeival Europe

Termina - America (late 1800s/early 1900s)

hyrule is hella behind the times