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Your First Time

Joined
Mar 2, 2012
Hello everybody. I am currently a virgin. I do not plan on having sex till I'm married. However I would like to know as much about sex as I can before I do it. So if you guys could tell me about your first time having sex, what you felt, who you had it with, and the events leading up to it that would be much appriciated. Thank you!
 

Batman

Not all those who wander are lost...
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Location
40 lights off the Galactic Rim
Gender
Dan-kin
A cold night in mid-November, behind the dumpster of a 7/11 with Tina, the hooker I had just spent my first paycheck on at 16 after working a week at Burger King.
 
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Terminus

If I was a wizard this wouldn't be happening to me
Forum Volunteer
Joined
May 20, 2012
Location
West Coast Best Coast
Gender
Anarcho-Communist
[War Flashbacks]

I've already had to sit through a bunch of my classmates having this discussion so I'll keep it short.

Not yet, and considering my looks and my awkwardness, not for ages.
 

Ventus

Mad haters lmao
Joined
May 26, 2010
Location
Akkala
Gender
Hylian Champion
Not yet, and considering my looks and my awkwardness, not for ages.
Your looks are fine, you don't have my looks and never will so don't complain. You aren't black, you don't have an amputated leg, you don't have a burned face that people laugh at and call you "monkeyboy" for getting skin grafts, you don't have lesions or leprosy (I don't have any of that except the blackness). Your awkwardness will fade as you go through college. You will get a girl soon enough unless she gets you, it's only a matter of tiem - and rest assured, it's a short wait - actually no, you might get a boy you never know, you might be gay!
 
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Mercedes

つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
Joined
Nov 12, 2007
I'll just start by saying my post is, naturally, quite sexually explicit, but it's not gratuitous in any way. So, don't read if you don't want to, I'll leave it in a spoiler tag for those who don't wish to see it.

A first time differs greatly for men and women, I can only speak for the latter, but people's expectations almost always exceed the actual experience itself. It's fine for a male, really, you'll likely get a lot of pleasure from it, but it's definitely not an immediately pleasant experience for a female more often than not, especially if it's also the guy's first experience and he doesn't know what he's doing and there's no 'preparation' done before the act, and I don't just mean the use of protection. It differs between different females, of course people have different experiences and partners and different bodies too, some girls can really enjoy their first time, and of course alcohol helps some girls, but first time is usually painful and causes quite a bit of discomfort for the girl. It can be quite an ordeal, and so this needs to taken into consideration by the male, and too many times is not, and that's where the real problem lies. Men watch movies and pornography and expect sex to be like that and it really isn't, that's a delusion, especially the first time. Girls can also be guilty of this, of course, but tend to know their own bodies a bit more. You might have a good time but at her expense, and I don't think most guys want that to be the case. Or I'd hope not.

So, for any guys out there, if you know it's a girl's first time, be gentle and make sure she feels safe and secure, with both it and you. And don't feel embarrassed actually researching and asking about sex, regardless of if the girl is or is not a virgin, and females should of course do the same as well. It's better to go in knowledgeable than not and it'll lead to a better experience for both of you. Watching pornography can actually help achieve this but shouldn't be your only source on the matter, definitely not. Penetration also doesn't need to be the first thing you do and doesn't need to be on the cards to begin with, nor should it ever really be the first thing done in any subsequent times you have sex. Not only can other things help you learn the other person and their anatomy, like oral and mutual masturbation, it leads to pleasure too, and gets people ready for the rest of sex, especially the girl. When actually penetrating, not only should you both of you have 'warmed-up' with sufficient foreplay, the use of a condom and lubricant if available is of course the best way.. Sex may be more pleasurable without a condom, maybe, but it's a lot safer and should always be worn. And again, don't be embarrassed buying condoms or lubricant. Practising safe sex is anything but an embarrassing thing.

As for my first time, yeah, I don't really think about it at all. It wasn't at all a nice experience. I just didn't wait for the right person really, he was interested in sex, not me, and was too young. Instead of the pleasure which sex eventually becomes it was just a short, quite hilariously short in hindsight, bout of pain and feeling like **** afterward. There was no afterglow or any good feelings, really, bar when I dumped him in the next few days. I had it with my then boyfriend when I was 16, who quickly became my ex-boyfriend, and I'm not really about to account the lead-up to it but I definitely wasn't the one who instigated it, and I recommend any guys try and wait for her to instigate it rather than risk coming across as pressuring her and being quite pushy. If she instigates it she's feeling more ready and it'll probably lead to a better time for both. If I had my time again and had the knowledge I do now I'd have not had it at that time and have waited. But, y'know, that's just how it goes sometimes. Definitely effected me too, but, s'all good now. I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 years now and it's amazing everytime we have it. When you learn eachother, you reap the rewards for sure.

Sex definitely gets better after the first few times, when it becomes a very natural and easy stress reliever and way to feel good, a way to make both of you feel good, for free. It's a wonderful, natural thing and not anything people should feel embarrassed or guilty about partaking in with another person. When really done correctly between two people, it's probably the best physical release around. It can lead you to being a bit happier, too, the gratification it has. So, that's that. I'm not some 'expert' of course, but, this is just my opinion. My first time was so bad that I'd always want to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else.
 
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Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Location
Ashland, OR
My first time was with my college boyfriend, who I've now been dating for 3 years (yesterday was our anniversary). He has had a lot more experience than me and had already had sex with more girls than I care to think about before we even met. He and I came from very different places and were raised very differently, so we had never really met people like each other. I'm not ashamed to say that this is probably one of the major factors that drew us to each other initially. Because of the novelty of each other, and my inexperience in literally everything, we went slowly through the levels of intimacy. Sometimes I instigated a new step, sometimes he did, but we were always very open about what was comfortable, particularly for me, since I was new to the whole thing. When the decision to have sex was made, it was mine. Sex was nothing new to him, and we had talked about it before, many times. I think because I was ready, and he was ready, it was sublime. I was REALLY nervous, as all of my sexually active friends had talked with me about it and how it feels to be a girl your first time. I expected pain at first, but there wasn't any at all. I viewed it as a decision of trust, of moving forward in the relationship and an after effect of my decision to be with this man. I mean really BE with him. To grow with him, encourage him while he encouraged me and to not hold each other back from our dreams in the face of temporary separation.

I'm not sure if you are thinking about having sex, have a particular person in mind or what the situation is. I know that not all people view sex as an emotional medium and I know that it can simply be a recreational activity. I guess my advice would be to figure out what you want out of sex and then decide on if you want to go forward or not. Whatever you decide should match your partner's wants. :)
 

Justac00lguy

BooBoo
Joined
Jul 1, 2012
Location
NZ
Gender
Shewhale
I'm not going to go into detail because that's a bit too strange especially for this site :/

However, my first time is summed up as being awkward and being too young. I was young and under pressure, a few of my friends has just lost their virginity and I did feel slightly pressured. They lost theirs at random parties, being drunk probably made it easier. At the time, I was going out with a girl who was in the year ahead of me at school and she was not a virgin.

So fast forward a couple of weeks and we did it. Like I said, I won't go into detail, and but it was slightly awkward, I knew the basics and I've had sexual experiences before just not actual intercourse. The girl at the time had previous sexual partners, so I felt slightly under pressure to perform, like all guys ;p Honestly, it wasn't one of those great moments I'm not going to lie, it didn't go as I planned it to, but I'm sure that's how a lot of people's first times went, they just never admit it.

With experience, it will become better, that's how a lot of stuff in life works out, yours or others first time might be great, mine wasn't, but then again I was too young in hindsight and under pressure - I wasn't ready. Maybe you will be at a more mature age to handle the situation better. Maybe it's best to get to know a girl before you jump straight in, I'm no angel in this context, but it's a lot less complicated and it will probably lead to a better experience in the long run.
 
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tysonrss

Keyblade Master
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Location
OH, USA
I've had plenty of chances of getting my groove on but haven't, probably because I get shy but I haven't had the chance to give it to my girlfriend yet since we're in a long distance...skype sex isn't the same I tell ya :P

But I am looking forward to it, weird coming from a guy but oh well.
 

Beauts

Rock and roll will never die
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Location
London, United Kingdom
My first time was not good. We were both 15 and both virgins. It was awkward because we were at this guys house, in his basement, and everyone else was upstairs. I knew he'd wanted to do it for a while, and I just wanted to get it over with because I felt like a late bloomer and I think I was slightly embarrassed by that for some dumb reason, despite the fact none of my closest girlfriends had had sex either. I'd had more sexual experiences than him, just not actual intercourse, so I had some clue as to like, what to do. However, he had no idea bless him.

I'd just like to say, I don't blame him for that in any way, and nor did I expect better, because it was his first time as well. It hurt a little bit (some girls have it worse than others and I would say mine was definitely not on the bad end of the pain scale so I was lucky), and it wasn't very pleasurable in general because he wanted to rush and didn't take the time to like, get me going shall we say. Women don't get much pleasure just from penetration, so yeah. It was just a bit awkward. It was also over very quickly but I was really relieved by that. Then I realised this other guy was actually in the room with us, and had watched the whole thing. He is a good friend of mine to this day and he never said anything to anybody. But, needless to say, it was bloody embarrassing. I'd not only just lost my virginity in an unpleasant environment (on an old sofa in a basement decorated with Jesus statues cos the guy whose house it was' dad was really religious), but this guy had WATCHED it happen.

Now, I wish I had waited for a different, better guy, in a nicer environment, in a way better relationship (he dumped me 3 days later).

I think it's really good that you are trying to find out more about the realities of sex. What you might see on the internet is a glamourised and unrealistic account of what sex is like in general, and your first time will definitely be very far removed from that. My advice would be:

1) Be safe
2) Wait until you are emotionally ready for the implications of sex
3) Also make sure the girl is ready
4) Don't be a dick to the girl afterwards
5) I'm not saying plan it because that most likely would end in less romance rather than more, but at least make sure you're prepared and in a comfortable place
6) Don't do it in someone else's house possibly in view of your friends.
 

Zorth

#Scoundrel
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
I started feeling pressured when most of my friends started boasting about losing it, so I felt a little left out and eventually it made me put in some effort to do it. It might've not been nicest thing to do but I started talking to girls who had a reputation of being easy. One of them who happened to be the same age as me bothered to reply to my messages. After maybe a week of talking to each other I invited her over to my house to watch a movie since I was alone (will never forget that it was the movie Paul). She came over pretty quickly and we just sat in the couch talking, hardly minding the movie, there was this romantic weird moment where we just stared in each others eyes and it sort just escalated from there. I remember that the most scary thing at this point was my heart rate, it was insane, felt like it was going to jump out of my chest at any second.

But it was over really fast, like after 5 minutes we were dressed and back watching the movie, although with much less talking. After a while of awkwardness the movie was over and she went home. I didn't tell anyone, I just gave myself a little pad on the back and felt like this big rock was lifted off my shoulders. I actually didn't tell anyone about it for over a week even though funnily enough it was all I could think about the entire time. However word soon came out about what we had done without me really having to say anything. I'm also assuming she told her friends that I wasn't the best at it which lead to months of bad jokes and teasing after my friends heard that.

Now I didn't really care that much about the jokes, I felt more embarrassed because this girl probably made fun of me quite a bit so I couldn't bring myself to talk to her anymore. Which is a shame because she was a really fun girl to hang out with, one of the few who actually knows the difference between Star wars and Star Trek lol.
 
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Joined
Feb 23, 2011
This wolf has never entered into a pair bond--at least to the point at which coitus was reached--with another (i.e., I am a virgin)...

And seeing as how I find sex to be kind of grrross, I plan on remaining a virgin for the entirety of my life span of 17 hume years (in captivity)...
 

Fig

The Altruist
Joined
Jul 23, 2011
Location
Smash Realm
As of now, I am still a virgin and I plan to keep it like for a very long time until I settle down with someone, but based on my habits of constantly finishing up my homework at night (I don't procrastinate, but I do edit out my work and double-check that what I want to turn in is correct and complete 100%), playing video games for whoever knows how long, and simply not having the time to meet new people because I rather spend my time researching and hanging out with my friends. Now I know what intercourse is, I just happen to be that kind of person who gets awkward and sick when the subject comes up. Ever since I was a child, "to not have intercourse was a bad thing" has been implement in my mind to this day. I didn't know what sex was as a child but always hearing my teachers, counselors, and television that sex was a bad thing. Yes, as a child, there were programs, commercials, or whatever it was back in the day that didn't explain what sex was but to not have any of that. When I first heard from my youth pastor (who was and still is currently married) that sex was a beautiful thing to experience, I questioned how can that be. She then explained to me that it is a beautiful experience only through marriage and then it finally clicked to me. Yes, I can honestly say that I never asked my parents what sex was or where did babies came from as it never occurred to me as I more focused in my studies and piecing together Zelda games in a timeline (this was back when Wind Waker came out). Fast forward a few more years, and I am still the awkward virgin you know of today. In conclusion, I know I may find someone if I decide to put some effort to find someone (and that's a big if), but in reality I know I must wait until that sacred girl comes into my life. Only then, will I must execute proper events to lead up to the romantic partnership that is marriage and one day feel the sacred moments of intercourse.
 

Moonstone

embrace the brand new day
Joined
Oct 23, 2012
The only word I can use to describe my first time was "meh". We had been dating for 6 months (he was my first boyfriend. I was 17. I was his first, too (girlfriend and sexual partner). He was 22.) I was ready for it. I was the one who initiated it and asked for it. But we both didn't know what we were doing. There was no foreplay. Really, there was never much intimacy like that between us. We were more friends than anything else. He was very happy. I couldn't have cared less.

Edit: I'd like to note that it never got better between us. I always wanted and initiated it, and every time it was awkward, because he was timid and didn't take any control or do anything to get me going. (not all girls need or want a guy to take control, but I'm certainly one who is, and I'm sure a great number of women want it as well)
 

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