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Words That Kill: How Do Insults Affect You

Snow Queen

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Mar 14, 2013
Location
Grand Rapids, MI
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Transwoman (she/her)
We all get insulted and beaten down, and for some, these things are ducks off the water's back, but for other's it's a crushing experience. So how do insults affect you?
 

Shadsie

Sage of Tales
It depends upon how far into the heart an insult cuts, how long it goes on for - if it's by people who do it systematically that I cannot get away from...


My childhood and young adulthood - between parental mistakes, one drug-added abusive mess of a sibling and another who just tried to avoid incurring his wrath on her, and an entire school career being the designated target... well, let's just say, I met with a therapist today, I'm medicated, and am still generally a non-social, shivering, quivering, misanthropic bitter little ball who can't decide between wanting to be put out of my misery or just wanting to see the world put out of my misery.

Insults as I get them today? Depends upon how far they cut. If they cut, I get into the above tendencies. If they don't cut too hard, but do make me angry, I insult back, and can be very creative in my insults. I come up with insults that I'm itching to use if I ever feel they are appropriate, but... I try to be a nice person and feel like to drop some of the stuff I come up with would be like dropping a bomb.

If the insults are clearly by a twelve-year old who is new to the Internet, or a troll, or person who is horribly, horribly ignorant about the subject of conversation, I just ignore them. In real life, too... avoid and ignore people who are being stupid if I can.

And stupid people who insult a demographic I'm in who can affect my life because they are in the political arena? I let Jon Stewart do the insulting and I laugh. Because laughing... staves off the despair.
 

Beauts

Rock and roll will never die
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Location
London, United Kingdom
It really depends on the insult. The only time I get really offended by an insult is if it touches on a nerve, like a part of me thinks it might be kind of true, for example when someone calls me a sl*t or a w*ore (meh the censoring system) I get offended; it's not that I think I am one really, but I can sort of see why people would say it, and it's not for reasons I'm proud of.
But if someone calls me stupid or something I don't get offended or upset because I know I'm not. If someone insults my family I just get angry. When I was younger this kind of stuff used to bother me more but nowadays I'm more offended by other people's stupidity than I am by their opinion of me. I wouldn't say I've gotten more secure in particular I just can't be bothered to react to it anymore.
 

Moonstone

embrace the brand new day
Joined
Oct 23, 2012
Water off a duck's back now-a-days. If I realize an insult is made to help me grow, then I take it to heart, but people who sling insults just because don't get a rise out of me. I was picked on a lot when I was younger. I've learned not to care about stranger's uninformed opinions.
 
Joined
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It depends on who the person is who's insulting me, how much I like, hate, or know them and what kind of mood I was in prior. I have a short fuse but occasionally I can reach calm, snarky, my-logic-is-sound-and- your-a-moron levels of zen for short bursts. other times hoo boy do I have a big fat mouth. there isn't a single person who WON'T know that I'm PO'ed and they'll know what I'm PO'ed about too. This is because I'm sensitive, I was bullied a lot and I used to cry, as an adult I turn my crying into loud, nasty sarcasm.
 
I try to not let insults get to me. Most insults that come my way tend to be from people in a temporarily aggravated state so I recognize it as a passing emotion. If someone has a grudge against me and continually insults me, then I do my best to ignore them rather than give them the satisfaction of a response.

While insults directed towards me aren't a major problem, insults at others close to me are very irksome. It's not in my nature to start an argument; however, if someone is continually ridiculing a friend or family member of mine, I'll intervene eventually.

As for demographic insults, those are in the worst taste. Negative generalizations tug at my conscience. Whenever someone resorts to them, I try to maintain my cool and explain why those person's views are incorrect, or even when joking in a public space, why such a statement may not be appropriate.
 

Vanessa28

Angel of Darkness
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Well I just got insulted like two hours ago on facebook. A guy said my english was horrible and he also said I was ugly because I had no pic of myself as a profile pic so I had to be ugly and feeling embarressed about myself. He also said that I should get raped. Needless to say this guy was a brainless jerk who only was moody because his fav hockeyteam got eliminated last night. How does this affect me? Not at all. Like I said earlier it is just the internet. People are hiding behind a computer and can say all they like only because nobody speaks directly to them face to face. 10 years ago it would have affect me but the last couple of years I don't care what people say anymore. Of course this insult was going way too far but it shows what a pathetic vision this guy has and if I let if affect me I would be insane.
 

knowlee

Like a river's flow, it never ends...
Joined
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USA
Normally I don't let things bother me. I'm not one for drama and try to avoid it when necessary, but at times I admit that it can be hard. I guess it comes with having to deal with some hurtful comments from when I was younger coming from a member in my family that made me feel really down about myself. I've mostly gotten over it now, but I still have the tendency to fall back into the trap of letting the comments hurt me as well as sometimes letting those words come out of my own mouth about myself.

But as far as that goes, if someone who is just looking to insult me is the one doing it, then I'm more than likely not going to be bothered with it and will just ignore them, but if they touch a nerve though I will more than likely talk back with a comeback. Which rarely happens. That only occurs if the said person has ticked me off to the point of no return. I have an extremely long fuse and all I can say is that I sincerely pray for the person that reaches the end of it.
 

Vanessa28

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Normally I don't let things bother me. I'm not one for drama and try to avoid it when necessary, but at times I admit that it can be hard. I guess it comes with having to deal with some hurtful comments from when I was younger coming from a member in my family that made me feel really down about myself. I've mostly gotten over it now, but I still have the tendency to fall back into the trap of letting the comments hurt me as well as sometimes letting those words come out of my own mouth about myself.

But as far as that goes, if someone who is just looking to insult me is the one doing it, then I'm more than likely not going to be bothered with it and will just ignore them, but if they touch a nerve though I will more than likely talk back with a comeback. Which rarely happens. That only occurs if the said person has ticked me off to the point of no return. I have an extremely long fuse and all I can say is that I sincerely pray for the person that reaches the end of it.

I used to be extremely shy when I was a kid and even in my early twenties. I always let other people get to me and always took words very personal. But the last couple of years I have grown a much tougher skin. I know the feeling you are talking about here. Sometimes when someone is extremely rude I'm going to get back at them for sure.
 

Dan

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This is likely in-part due to living in Britain, where 90% of deep friendships are built on deep, explicit insulting.

That must actually be a North thing... I barely see it here... :I

Anyway I know it may sound weird but I actually like being insulted, I find beauty in it, it's hard to explain as to why, you must see everything with two sides, as I think it expands your mindset, you must see the good and bad in everything.
Insults are an art, if you are going to insult do so in a constructive way, many people get angry and simply retort with "you are all ****ing ****s", or go for shock value insults like Vanessa pointed out in her post, this is a bit boring yet I'll commend people that can get rather creative with their insults. Does anyone else actually enjoy being insulted?
 

Violet Link

takumi was a mistake and so are the S supports
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To me, I don't really care about who insults me. It doesn't matter if they're my friend, they're the person that I dislike; I don't really mind. As long as the person is happy insulting me then I'll have to go with the flow, even though it hurts. I'm not really strong and I'm easily hurt so insults really cut my heart out.
 

misskitten

Hello Sweetie!
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Jun 18, 2011
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Norway
Because I went through a ten year period of being bullied, insults don't pack the same punch as they did then. The only harsh words or insults I let get to me are ones uttered by people I care about or they are directed at someone I care about. If it comes from a stranger, it just doesn't bother me. Sometimes I can even be amused by it.
 

octorok74

TETTAC
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Sep 20, 2008
Location
Joliet, IL
Hmm. Best way to describe my situation is like water off a duck's back. Insults have no impact on me. Not even during grade school when I was always picked. Insults are just another person's opinion about you. What do I care if their opinion doesn't coincide with who I know I am. So they just don't get to me.
 

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