Have you ever wished for something bad to hapoen to you, not for self-harm purposes, but to see how others would react? For example, getting a (curable) strain of cancer to see how your friends and family react and to get that sweet sweet attention. I remember especially when I had very bad depression I'd often have thoughts like this and feel terrible about it afterwards. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac at times so I often construct scenarios in my head about it now, but it's rare for me to actually think about the scenario as an overall positive one. Have you ever had this experience?