• Welcome to ZD Forums! You must create an account and log in to see and participate in the Shoutbox chat on this main index page.

What Annoyed You Today?

I'm getting really sick of my dad's teasing.

I know he doesn't mean any harm, but it does really hurt me sometimes. I just don't have to courage to stand up and tell him. They're watching something in the living room right now, and I just heard my dad comment on my lack of presence in the room. He said something along the lines of "maybe if it were animated and had people yelling she'd watch with us."

After hearing that I just kind of stopped what I was doing and covered my face with my hands and teared up.

And it was the tone and the exact wording which really hurt. He's teased me a lot about anime in the past, so that made it sting even more. I'm not even watching any anime right now. I'm trying to sort through all the spiritual things happening to me. There's a lot of turmoil inside of me so I need time by myself where I can be silent and think through stuff and let my thoughts flow. The thing is he'll never know about that. So he just thinks I always watch anime by myself all the time, when actually I haven't watched much recently anyway.

I use music a lot to calm down. And that means using my computer with headphones on. He'll comment on that too. I'm sorry I use headphones so much, but I find that I'm becoming increasingly dependent on music now.

I know he loves me a lot, but still. Joking around like that isn't my type of humor, and it really stings.

I was super excited to show him an anime movie I found recently, but after that comment I really don't feel like it anymore. I don't want that to become another way for him to get at me.
 

Mikey the Moblin

sushi is a suspicious hello
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Location
southworst united states
Gender
Dude
I know. I know. I know I do. Why can't I? Why am I crying? Why am I so scared and nervous? I"m so frustrated with myself that I can'r get the courage to confront him about it. It seems so easy to do but I just, I can't. I mean I can, but it's so hard
If it's easier, you could write a quick note and leave it somewhere he can read it later
 
If it's easier, you could write a quick note and leave it somewhere he can read it later

That's the only way I've been able to confront him in the past, so yeah I'll probably have do that soon. I'm feeling too nervous to do it right now. My chest is racing just from talking about this, plus I kinda just finished crying a second ago. I need to calm down.
 

mαrkαsscoρ

Mr. SidleInYourDMs
ZD Legend
Joined
May 5, 2012
Location
American Wasteland
I know. I know. I know I do. Why can't I? Why am I crying? Why am I so scared and nervous? I"m so frustrated with myself that I can'r get the courage to confront him about it. It seems so easy to do but I just, I can't. I mean I can, but it's so hard
would it be easier to tell your mom or someone and they'd tell him?
 
would it be easier to tell your mom or someone and they'd tell him?

I could. If I had to talk I'd rather talk to my mom. But I hate confrontations or anything tough to talk about like that. So I'd rather write it, because then I can clearly express everything without getting interrupted by either my dad or by my own emotions spilling over. It'd probably be better to talk it out, but I just, I'm not good at talking. I mean I can socialize, but debating or confrontation or anything like that I get quiet and stuff. And then the other person talks the whole time.
 

mαrkαsscoρ

Mr. SidleInYourDMs
ZD Legend
Joined
May 5, 2012
Location
American Wasteland
I could. If I had to talk I'd rather talk to my mom. But I hate confrontations or anything tough to talk about like that. So I'd rather write it, because then I can clearly express everything without getting interrupted by either my dad or by my own emotions spilling over. It'd probably be better to talk it out, but I just, I'm not good at talking. I mean I can socialize, but debating or confrontation or anything like that I get quiet and stuff. And then the other person talks the whole time.
I feel that, what matters most is being able to get what you're feeling to come across well, verbal communicating is something you can just work on later on
 

Jimmu

Administrator
Staff member
ZD Legend
Administrator
I could. If I had to talk I'd rather talk to my mom. But I hate confrontations or anything tough to talk about like that. So I'd rather write it, because then I can clearly express everything without getting interrupted by either my dad or by my own emotions spilling over. It'd probably be better to talk it out, but I just, I'm not good at talking. I mean I can socialize, but debating or confrontation or anything like that I get quiet and stuff. And then the other person talks the whole time.

Once you’ve had a chance to gather your thoughts and get them down I hope it helps you to be able to convey them to your parents in the way you’re most comfortable. Then once they know how you feel hopefully that will allow them to approach you with better understanding when you are ready to discuss it verbally.

Communication between parents and their kids can be really difficult when you’re both coming with different ways of looking at the world and different ways of thinking which is a pretty common difficulty people have faced for a very long time. Without knowing a whole lot of detail on your specific relationship with your parents and how they are to you I think it seems (from the way you are writing your posts above) that you know that they care about you and aren’t trying to upset you or make you feel the way you are feeling so getting it out in the air can help you work toward a better understanding of each other.

Reflecting back on when I was a teenager I think that many times both parents and children don’t feel heard or understood. I think it’ll go a long way to go into any conversation letting your parents know that you’re willing to listen to and consider how they are feeling and thinking and at the same time you’d appreciate if they also listen to you and consider your feelings too. Try your best not to interrupt them while they are speaking and ask that they do the same for you, it’ll be a good way for you to practice this kind of communication too once you’re ready for it.

This is just an example and may or may not necessarily apply to your situation but it could be that the meaning behind the remarks your father is making is that he wishes you spent more time with them. Finding common interests with your parents can be hard but if you sit together and figure something out you can bond over that could help. Though at the same time your parents should respect your personal interests/hobbies and your time to enjoy them, they don’t necessarily have to “get” or understand your hobbies - parents very often don’t understand your hobbies (or at least aren’t interested in them) just like you may not get some of theirs.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom