Unwritten Rules

[Beauts]

So I was thinking about how in society we have these unwritten rules about what you do and do not do. For example, you don't date a friends ex, bros before *not bros* etc

My question is, to get the discussion going, what unwritten rules are you aware of and what do you think of them, as well as the concept of unwritten rules?

P.s. I am aware the phrasing of this is dodgy, leave me alone I just woke up!

 

[Wolf Sage]

In sociology, we refer to certain unwritten rules as folkways and mores. Mores, for instance, are a type of norm that carry a stronger moral penalty than a folkway, which is a type of norm that involves casual, mundane social interaction and carries little to no moral penalty if deviated against. Mores, on the other hand, distinguish between right and wrong, but more deeply involves following the "nuanced" aversion to taboos and "sins" of society (not exactly in a religious sense). Most of us are seemingly hardwired or conditioned to follow our culture's folkways and mores through social pressure and early upbringing. A few examples of such include being taught by one's parents to say please and thank you (folkway), and not go around beating people up (mores); doing the latter would carry a stronger moral penalty (though, this slips into the territory of a law, which is a 'written' norm). ;U

An unwritten rule that I've noted is that one should never get too comfortable in someone else's home or place of residence. Moreover, one should also be aware that over-staying one's welcome is not recommended in any setting. Also, I have found that making assumptions too soon can be bad, like, really bad. "Assume" makes an "a**" out of "u (you)" and "me." While these things are not exactly enforced norms (i.e., laws), the penalties for not abiding by them can range from slight to harsh depending on the enforcer.

 

[Ventus]

1) Don't go poop in public restrooms. This is seen as a sign of "owning" the place, or at the very least taking up residence. Well, public restrooms are NOT owned by anyone save a select few, and it's gross anyway. Though people do number two in PRs fairly often, families of 'dignity' often bade their children to stray far away from even thinking about committing such a crime.

2) One must finish his/her plate. This is usually just common courtesy; i.e. a manner of giving thanks for one's meal and avoiding being wasteful. However, in a stronger contextual sense, finishing one's plate means that the food was delicious, and saying that one's food is not so is rather harmful to their psyche...which can mean you gettin' tha boot.

 

[cthuluhu]

Girls and boys can't be 'just friends'. I've pledged this to my peers multiple times that I enjoy hanging with boys because I get along better with them and we share similar interests. My male friends and I (female if you didn't guess) are very close, and I respect the sanctity, another sort of ghost rule, that I won't date them to prevent a state of awkwardness around us all. But all in all we're familiar enough that we hold gaming themed nights at each others homes, and I can still spend the night with everyone without being accused of doing 'something'

 

[Shadsie]

I remember seeing something like this on Cracked and the only one I can remember is "We do not steal from wishing wells."

It's one of those things you don't think about until it's pointed out to you. Unless you're really destitute (and maybe not even then), it's considered really bad luck or at least horribly immoral to steal from a wishing well (and not just ones marked as "the money here goes to charity"). Most people who are over the age of 8 do not really believe that tossing a quarter in a fountain is going to grant a wish, it's just a fun thing we do for a "sense of magic," I guess, and yet, it's common courtesy to leave it alone. Even if people don't always believe in their wishes, those coins represent wishes, so sticking your hand in to get the free money is something of a marker of "you are a horrible person."

One social rule that I don't always follow that frankly kind of annoys me is the "You must have a pot to pee in." That is, I was out by a creek today, out in the woods.... and a couple of times I had to look around for cover so as not to be seen by other fisher-people and to you know, not be arrested or gawked at. If I were a rabbit, no one would care. It's nature, and when you're out in nature, it should not be any big deal when nature calls. Maybe I just outed myself as a gross person, but you know, medical conditions and freaking WOODS. I'm sure you've done the same upon making sure there wasn't a cop around at least once in your life.

One rule that doesn't apply to me anymore because I am no longer a kid and do not have kids... Teaching your kids to believe in Santa Claus. This winter I watched the Nostalgia Critic take that on. He argued that there is a purpose to it... that it has to do with not only magic and wonderment, but in setting up children for disappointment so they can handle the bigger disappointments of adulthood. It wasn't even cynical, it was "dealing with the loss of belief in Santa Claus is a natural thing, and while devastating to a lot of kids, helps them to deal with the hard spots of being a grown-up down the road." However, not all parents tell their kids to believe in Santa. There's a minority of parents who don't want to lie to their kids (often for religious reasons or conversely, anti-religious reasons), but for some, it's just an honesty-thing, and see how quickly everyone hates them for it! It's like "You don't let your kids have the fun of believing in Santa! Gasp!" and it doesn't seem to matter what reason, even "I don't like lying to my kids."

 

[Beauts]

Wow, thread necromancy!

I don't think it's true guys and girls can't be friends. You can until one of you has that line of thought. Can two gay guys not just be friends either? I mean how is this a thing? I don't believe in the friendzone. You say friendzone, I say lemme take you to the funzone where you can go cry in the park with all the other little babies who don't get what they want.

I agree with the Santa Claus thing though. And the peeing in public. The latter makes no sense to me either but it's still a thing.

 

[Ganondork]

You say friendzone, I say lemme take you to the funzone where you can go cry in the park with all the other little babies who don't get what they want.

B-but I-I'm a nice guy, so you're obligated to go out with me. Don't you understand that being nice is like a Subway card? If I get enough "Nice guy" points then you literally have to be my girlfriend. You can't possibly expect me to be nice to you without expecting something in return; I'm nice, so you have to reciprocate it by letting me go out with you.

Remember when I saved you from that ****** boyfriend of yours? I let you cry on my shoulder, so you are required, by unwritten law, to go out with me now. You aren't even allowed to recover from that bad relationship; you need to hop into this new one with me because I have been obsessively waiting for this moment for months now. Don't you know that this is secretly about me, and not you? I-I mean that came out wrong.

This is why nice guys finish last, Beauts. Because you just like ******bags, and aren't willing to give us nice guys a chance.

 

[Fig]

One rule that my father has told me when I was younger was to "Always judge yourself before others". He used the example of pointing at someone and because there are always going to be three fingers pointing back, we must first acknowledge what are mistakes were and criticize ourselves first before we can judge others. We all make a choice or decision based on what we thought was the right thing to do, but at what cost did we had to go through in order to obtain that decision. I'm sure we all had to make some people disappointed in order to reach the choices that we made and until I can see what a person has done to go on and do such actions, only then I will l understand why they did so in the first place.

 

[Sheik]

Okay, so this is a legit unwritten rule for us males.

Don't be this guy.

 

[Naruko]

Apparently this unwritten rule is weird, at least within my family-friends circle: Don't talk during a play/musical. Doesn't matter how quiet you are, doesn't matter if it's mean or nice, just don't say anything. That's why God invented intermissions darnit!

 

[misskitten]

In Norway there's an unwritten rule that says you can never take the last piece of cake for yourself. Apart from the silly "old maid" superstition, it's considered rude and selfish to do so. You're supposed to ask if someone wants to share the last piece.