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Things That Are on Your Mind

Joined
Jan 15, 2015
Location
Luso's heart
I want to focus on getting a cosplay done but I also want to focus on getting a job but I also want to focus on fiance/friendships but I also want to read [out of books atm] but I also want to be affectionate to animals in my new household but I also want to do something artistic.

But I'll probably just sleep.
 

Sheik

:the:
Joined
Sep 21, 2013
Location
The Expansion
Gender
Male
I've been piecing things together.

At school, I feel really cocky and self-superior around my friends and other classmates, and even though I don't act like that, it bothers me that I can even look down on and belittle them in such a way. It makes me feel sick that I can place myself on a higher level than them, even if it's only in my head. That makes me feel really uncomfortable when I'm with my friends at school or at other places.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, when I'm on ZD, I feel inferior and worthless compared to everyone else. Not like it's something wrong with me, but it's just that everybody here is so completely awesome and intelligent, and I'm... not as much. And because I have such a great self-imposed sense of inferiority, I sometimes can't even work up the courage to talk to a lot of members here because I view myself as, like... a fly compared to them.

And there's no middle ground... There's no place I have to go where I can feel equal to everybody else. It's either my school friends, or my ZD friends. I have some other random friends scattered in between, but I don't get the chance to hang out with them as often. I guess I simply have issues with my self-image.

But what if I don't have issues with my self-image? What if everybody my age feels like this, and true self-image and self-esteem issues are something far beyond what I've ever experienced? What if I'm just a complete idiot? What if... I wake up one day, as a five-year-old, and realize that the past seven years of my life were all just a dream, and that I have to relive those years all over again? That is a thought beyond horrifying.
 

Mellow Ezlo

Spoony Bard
Joined
Dec 2, 2012
Location
eh?
Gender
Slothkin
Gee, I just love having to work 6 full days a week! /sarcasm

So not looking forward to tomorrow.

Oh well, at least on Sunday I get to take a break and ski! :D Of course, after that I get to help my dad with his truck, yey...

And then another 6 day work cycle.

I had no life before, now I really have no life... :/

Can't freaking wait for the summer.
 

Blue Canary

Your Friendly Neighborhood S***poster
Joined
Feb 11, 2012
Location
Right Behind You
Gender
Trash Can
I really like the song "She's Actual Size" and I always thought John Linnell sang it but then I was listening to it, and I was like "This doesn't actually sound like John Linnell...". And then I realized it was actually sung by John Flansburgh, and I had a mini existential crisis because everything I had ever known was actually a lie.
 

Blue Canary

Your Friendly Neighborhood S***poster
Joined
Feb 11, 2012
Location
Right Behind You
Gender
Trash Can
ALSO YEAH I FORGOT I am actually going to be going to the They Might Be Giants concert and it is going to be the most amazing thing ever WOOHOO.
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Nov 17, 2011
Location
The Makai
Four vehicles with sirens blaring have just gone past my place in under fifteen minutes. I wonder what's going on.

EDIT: Make that five.
 
I've been dealing with a lot of **** lately, so I just have a major lack of taking anything seriously as a method of coping... and apparently that has pissed off a lot of people on this forum. So, now I'm instinctively trying to numb the guilt of hurting people with more nonsense, and it's probably just going to make my relations with them worse. I'm just... so disconnected from my feelings right now, and I really don't want to have to deal with them.
 

Blue Canary

Your Friendly Neighborhood S***poster
Joined
Feb 11, 2012
Location
Right Behind You
Gender
Trash Can
So today when I was taking a walk, I spotted two cats outside. I had seen them before, but they hadn't really let me get a good look at them. The first one I saw today was a black one that looked like it was wearing a Tuxedo, and I tried to walk up to it, but it kept running away. The other one I saw later and it was white and had a pattern on it's back (It may have been a calico, I don't remember. And in that case, it would probably be a female.) They both ran behind a house, though. Later, I was outside again and I heard a cat meowing, and it really scared me people it was the kind of meowing that strikes you in your soul and makes you really sad, the kind when a cat is scared or hurt. I went inside because I couldn't find the cat, but I was still worried. Just a little bit ago I went back outside, and I spotted the white cat in front of a house. It is a really loud cat, meowing almost constantly, and it made me feel better because the sad meowing earlier was probably just this cats really weird meow. Like, this cat had a really weird meow. Anyway, I got it's attention and held it long enough to walk up to it. At first I thought it was going to start hissing at me because it took what looked like a defensive stance, but to my surprise it let me pet it. I realized that this cat is just really weird in general. I assume it's a rescue cat, because it didn't have a tail (And it wasn't born that way, because on the stump it had left there was a scab.), however it looked very clean and well fed. Pretty much, it is super hyper. I held out my hand and it jumped up to bat it with it head, instead of sniffing it, or stretching out to rub against it like most cats do. It started running around in circles and rolling over and jumping up and down, and so I nicknamed it "Jumper". It ran over to the walkway in between the sets of apartments, and a followed it. I then spotted the tuxedo cat over at the side. I tried to walk up to it, but it climbed under a fence. It sat just on the other side of the fence, instead of running away. Jumper walked up to the fence and started meowing, and while I couldn't see it, I assumed the Tuxedo cat was pretty scared. I went inside to get some roast beef off of the sandwich I was eating, and they were still in the same position when I came back out, but neither of them would eat it. So pretty much, I'm thinking about those cats.
 

Jamie

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out...
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Gender
trans-pan-demi-ethno-christian-math-autis-genderfluid-cheesecake
I've developed so much self-destructive behavior recently, I think I've really screwed up my life.
We haven't gotten any posts yet, but I would recommend trying the new subforum in the MD. I think it can be helpful for anyone.
 

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