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Things That Are on Your Mind

Akuhime-sama

What's Life Without Adult Humor?
Joined
Jan 13, 2012
Location
Pennsylvania
Gender
None
I HAVE ALL OF MY WISDOM TEETH
I have Power and Courage teeth. Want to Link them all together and make a wish?
Maybe the Great [tooth] Fairy will grant it.
icon_awesomeface.gif
 

Snow Queen

Mannceaux Signature Collection
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Location
Grand Rapids, MI
Gender
Transwoman (she/her)
This has probably been said a billion times here, but it's my turn to let it all out. I feel empty and broken, physically and emotionally. I am just... so incredibly depressed right now my heart literally hurts, I can feel it hurting, and the rest of my body hurts. I've cried so many times today I've lost count. And all this pain is my own doing, because I was fighting so hard to obtain something I knew deep down I could never have. And in the end it was me who broke myself, and now I have to suffer the consequences. It's kinda weird, though. Normally venting this stuff makes me feel better, but now I'm kinda hurting more. I've never been so depressed I was in physical pain before, or at least this strongly. My muscles are stiff and tense, and my hands keep shaking. Every heartbeat feels like a nail is being driven through it. My eyelids are raw from wiping away tears. I'm a hot mess, I'm more than a mess, I'm a disaster, an emotional war zone. I don't know what to do about this. I'm too afraid to try and solve it, I'm terrified of approaching the issue anymore because I'm afraid of what could happen. I just don't know what to do.
 

Skunk

Floof
Joined
Dec 31, 2011
Location
New York
Gender
Nonbinary
I feel happy, sad, jealous, selfish, loved, hurt, and crumbling all at once. This truly is awful. There are few things I hate in life, and not knowing what to call this feeling of many feelings is one. I'm kind of scared right now. I keep trying to tell myself my feelings are irrational, but I don't quite know if they're irrational or why I'm feeling them is. Regardless, this is all very strange and uncomfortable. The icing on the cake is that there's really one or two people who could maybe possibly help me get my head in better order, and communication with them is not quite an option. Maybe more tears will help.
 

Stitch

AKA Patrick
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
I feel happy, sad, jealous, selfish, loved, hurt, and crumbling all at once. This truly is awful. There are few things I hate in life, and not knowing what to call this feeling of many feelings is one. I'm kind of scared right now. I keep trying to tell myself my feelings are irrational, but I don't quite know if they're irrational or why I'm feeling them is. Regardless, this is all very strange and uncomfortable. The icing on the cake is that there's really one or two people who could maybe possibly help me get my head in better order, and communication with them is not quite an option. Maybe more tears will help.

I know what you're feeling, or at least I think I do, and I really wish I could help you, but I've never quite figured how to get out of that kind of funk myself. Just know that it's not irrational, just confusing.
 

Locke

Hegemon
Site Staff
Joined
Nov 24, 2009
Location
Redmond, Washington
This has probably been said a billion times here, but it's my turn to let it all out. I feel empty and broken, physically and emotionally. I am just... so incredibly depressed right now my heart literally hurts, I can feel it hurting, and the rest of my body hurts. I've cried so many times today I've lost count. And all this pain is my own doing, because I was fighting so hard to obtain something I knew deep down I could never have. And in the end it was me who broke myself, and now I have to suffer the consequences. It's kinda weird, though. Normally venting this stuff makes me feel better, but now I'm kinda hurting more. I've never been so depressed I was in physical pain before, or at least this strongly. My muscles are stiff and tense, and my hands keep shaking. Every heartbeat feels like a nail is being driven through it. My eyelids are raw from wiping away tears. I'm a hot mess, I'm more than a mess, I'm a disaster, an emotional war zone. I don't know what to do about this. I'm too afraid to try and solve it, I'm terrified of approaching the issue anymore because I'm afraid of what could happen. I just don't know what to do.
I know depression can be a very hard thing to get out of, but I do have some words of encouragement from the Bible regarding the anxiety that's preventing you from dealing with it.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34)

The latter is one of my very favorite verses. It's helped me many times in the past and has become a big part of who I am. What you need to worry about right now is eating healthy. Then I would suggest talking to someone. But don't worry about what you're going to say or what they're going to think or say. That can worry about itself. Focus on your need and how it can be met.

I would also like to suggest that the verse before that one may help fulfill your need: But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
 

Clank

Hmm
Joined
Jan 26, 2013
Location
Veldin
Pain, physical and emotional. Like I never really understood it, I've always been able to control it to a large extent, like I can just work through minor injuries just by telling myself that they don't hurt. The same goes for emotions, people make them out to be something you can't control, but I can change how I feel emotionally any time I want, in fact I do that frequently.

Yeah, I think part of my problem is simply not understanding other people well enough.
 

Akuhime-sama

What's Life Without Adult Humor?
Joined
Jan 13, 2012
Location
Pennsylvania
Gender
None
Pain, physical and emotional. Like I never really understood it, I've always been able to control it to a large extent, like I can just work through minor injuries just by telling myself that they don't hurt. The same goes for emotions, people make them out to be something you can't control, but I can change how I feel emotionally any time I want, in fact I do that frequently.

Yeah, I think part of my problem is simply not understanding other people well enough.

You might be one of the only ones who can.
A lot of people really can't control themselves emotionally.

Although I try, and I try HARD... Even I must admit I can't completely control my emotions.
I can dampen them, and hold myself back, but when I'm upset, a huge storm rages inside, even when nobody can see it. I hide it well.
But, when something is (actually) shocking, or stunning enough to get me when I least expect it, I can't control myself. Sometimes I don't hide it too well, and that really pisses me off. I should have a better hold of my emotions, but- sometimes, I just can't...

But! I NEVER- and I mean NEVER let emotions get in the way of important decisions. I can separate my emotions from forming decisions and solutions.
I always make sure I take the best logical path. I am indeed a logical mind, as well as a philosophical mind.
And sometimes- that actually takes a toll on me... (being philosophical that is)
 

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