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Things That Are on Your Mind

Vanessa28

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@Pendio always has been a very sweet and kind person. As long as I remember, he never caused any troubles and I hope and believe he'll be doing fine but it sure needs time. And coming from a family with a history of cheating (my dad did it, my ex did it, my oldest sister did it), I know how it can destroy people. A simply "yes, I forgive you" isn't the answer. It needs time. But I'm sure a lot of people here would like to talk with Pendio if he needs a listening ear. Anyway, attention whore or not, I do appreciate you being honest @Link Floyd because it's not an easy thing to admit.
 

Shroom

The Artist Formally Known as Deku Shroom™
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Then I suppose people were right when they said I was an attention whore.

I think this post seems like an attention grab at least. I don't know, I agree with Satan's reasoning. I feel genuinely bad for Pendio, and I pity you, but I can't find myself having that same level for both of you. You were in the wrong, and it's good that you admitted it, but it seems like an issue that should have stayed in the past and not sort of blurted out in the public with no warning.

I don't know the reasoning, and I've not kept up with Pendio lately, but I'm always open to lending an ear if he needs it. He's a good guy and does good work for the community, and deserves a shoulder to lean on if he's in a time of need.
 

Jirohnagi

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Ahh christ i hate this summer, been taking walks through the woods next to me for a while now and i've been fine until i get to summer walking Christ alive is it hot, woods are stifling then you come out onto the street a very sharp hill and my god it's like hell with that poor sod rolling a boulder for ever up a hill. Goddamn surgeries
 
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Jimmu

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I had a BBQ yesterday with a bunch of friends near the city for the hell of it. It was a great day, I was also able to introduce a Japanese friend to my regular crowd so that was good fun too. Being on Uni break feels really great, today I'm going to drive a few hundred kilometres to catch up with a high school friend.
 

Jamie

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Good on you for coming forward, but I fear you did for the wrong reasons. You talk about how you've changed, but you ultimately admit to it now to get attention. You make yourself to be the victim in order to receive the validation from others telling you how great and brave you are for stepping forward. To be honest, I'm not sure you should have posted this so publicly. It's a pretty personal situation that you're advertising. So, yes, I'm inclined to believe you posted it for attention.

I can tell you genuinely feel bad for your actions though. And that's just part of being human. We make mistakes and then feel bad about them. However, in your post, you kind of divert from what you did and focus just on how you feel about it. In doing so, you are diminishing the gravity of what you've done, and the fact that you clearly hurt Pendio--and dismiss his feelings for your own. While you do acknowledge you have wronged him, and even hurt him, your fixation on your own feelings over his makes the entire post come off as extremely selfish. No reason to make him feel bad that you feel guilty. Because you are guilty. You did do what you did. I'm glad you learned from it, but please don't overestimate peoples' ability to put friendships back into the state they were before things went wrong. Because that's not a thing. There will always be a difference between the before and after.

All you can do is acknowledge what you did was wrong and move on. You'll do more harm to both yourself and Pendio if you dwell on it too much. Posting this six months after the fact isn't healthy, as you're bringing all of this back to the surface. The façade you put on during those six months, that everything was ok, and then you dropped this? You should have been more open to Pendio during the period after the breakup, if you truly wanted to "end his suffering."

I don't want to come across as some grouchy ****head, but I just can't say I agree with your thought process here in posting this. I'm regrettably familiar with the writing tactic I see used in your post, and while it may not be fully intentional on your part, I can say that it was at least carving at the back of your mind while you wrote. But, I do know things will get better for you and Pendio both. But you need to accept what happened before they can get better. I don't read your post as "accepting and moving on" so much; it's more a "I did this and I regret it." You'll need to assess that, and come to terms before the true healing process can start. Best of luck to you, though. I am here to support you and Pendio if either of you ever need it.
Can't speak for Pendio but I was bothered by the post because it's, what's it called, "airing out dirty laundry". If I was Pendio, I wouldn't want this out in the open, would really make me uncomfortable.
 

Vanessa28

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I had a BBQ yesterday with a bunch of friends near the city for the hell of it. It was a great day, I was also able to introduce a Japanese friend to my regular crowd so that was good fun too. Being on Uni break feels really great, today I'm going to drive a few hundred kilometres to catch up with a high school friend.
I got a BBQ this upcoming thursday. A BBQ at work.
 

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