Things That Are on Your Mind
- Thread starter Johnny Sooshi
- Start date
Your boo's scary.
I hope you got nice weather PendioToday is midsummer's eve here in Sweden. So happy midsummer, my fellow forum dwellers!
Have a fun time!
Djinn
and Tonic
I learned that Kobe Bryant is actually a Sith Lord and now he is teaching kids to use the Dark Side to up their games.
Just see after 2:35 when things get real......
Pen
The game is on!
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2010
I hope you got nice weather Pendio
I had a very good day.
It rained though. DX
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2016
My boo aint scary 'cept when he's running around like a crazy cat!!!
Link Floyd
ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘⁿ
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2014
Hey everyone. I'm not exactly sure how to say this, since I'm sure it might surprise some people. But I think everyone deserves to know the truth after all this time.
So the real reason Petter and I broke up was not because of distance or anything like that. I cheated on him with another user from our forum, Soul. I'm sure some might recall his disapperance last summer and, yes, that had to do with me.
There's nothing I can say that will change it or justify it. Because it's something unjustifiable. It's something I never want to do again for the rest of my life. And I hope people can learn from my mistake as well. Never EVER do anything like this. It will eat you alive. And it can destroy relationships and friendships beyond the limits of your imagination.
There are two reasons as to why I'm telling you all this: the first being I don't want to hide behind this facade anymore. I don't want to pretend like I did nothing wrong and my life is perfect. The last few years have been really hard for me, so of course it's far from perfect. And looking back, I don't think I was mentally ready for a relationship. But who really is nowadays?
I don't regret my relationship with Petter. Not one bit. I would live through it again if I could, despite the turmoil I was going through in other parts of my life. It shaped me into a better person. And this experience, the cheating...it was the last of who I used to be. The weak, selfish coward who ran away to a foreign country hoping I could leave my past behind instead of dealing with it. And now, a little over a year later, I'm dealing with it.
The second reason I'm doing this is because I want to end Petter's suffering. I don't want him to lie to you about me in order to protect me. That's just how sweet he really is.
I think after this experience I've learned one main thing: Just because something seems right, doesn't mean it is. I thought it was okay to cheat simply because I was in love with another person. (Or more appropriately, the image I had seen.) Going into something that seems right without thinking things through is deadly. But instead of "should've could've would've", I'll say this:
PLEASE PLEASE don't do what I did. It will destroy your relationships, friendships, and yourself as well. And please understand that Petter didn't do anything like I did. Sure, we had our fights and things he's said to me still hurt sometimes (hell, that's with any close friendship/relationship), but it does not compare to the level of hell I put him through. I was the one person he probably opened up to the most, and I betrayed him. There is no worse hell than that.
I understand if you're hesitant now when it comes to wanting to interact with me, and that's okay if you feel that. I just though you all needed to know the truth, and I know that I still care very deeply for Petter. I know what I have done is evidence that goes against that, but believe me, the guilt I feel every day eats me alive. It has gotten easier since it's been over for the last few months, but it still bothers me. Because I know I'm better than that. And I know Petter deserves so much better than that.
So please understand, you never ever want to go against your values just to blindly follow a person or idea that seems right. It will almost always lead you right over the cliff.
So the real reason Petter and I broke up was not because of distance or anything like that. I cheated on him with another user from our forum, Soul. I'm sure some might recall his disapperance last summer and, yes, that had to do with me.
There's nothing I can say that will change it or justify it. Because it's something unjustifiable. It's something I never want to do again for the rest of my life. And I hope people can learn from my mistake as well. Never EVER do anything like this. It will eat you alive. And it can destroy relationships and friendships beyond the limits of your imagination.
There are two reasons as to why I'm telling you all this: the first being I don't want to hide behind this facade anymore. I don't want to pretend like I did nothing wrong and my life is perfect. The last few years have been really hard for me, so of course it's far from perfect. And looking back, I don't think I was mentally ready for a relationship. But who really is nowadays?
I don't regret my relationship with Petter. Not one bit. I would live through it again if I could, despite the turmoil I was going through in other parts of my life. It shaped me into a better person. And this experience, the cheating...it was the last of who I used to be. The weak, selfish coward who ran away to a foreign country hoping I could leave my past behind instead of dealing with it. And now, a little over a year later, I'm dealing with it.
The second reason I'm doing this is because I want to end Petter's suffering. I don't want him to lie to you about me in order to protect me. That's just how sweet he really is.
I think after this experience I've learned one main thing: Just because something seems right, doesn't mean it is. I thought it was okay to cheat simply because I was in love with another person. (Or more appropriately, the image I had seen.) Going into something that seems right without thinking things through is deadly. But instead of "should've could've would've", I'll say this:
PLEASE PLEASE don't do what I did. It will destroy your relationships, friendships, and yourself as well. And please understand that Petter didn't do anything like I did. Sure, we had our fights and things he's said to me still hurt sometimes (hell, that's with any close friendship/relationship), but it does not compare to the level of hell I put him through. I was the one person he probably opened up to the most, and I betrayed him. There is no worse hell than that.
I understand if you're hesitant now when it comes to wanting to interact with me, and that's okay if you feel that. I just though you all needed to know the truth, and I know that I still care very deeply for Petter. I know what I have done is evidence that goes against that, but believe me, the guilt I feel every day eats me alive. It has gotten easier since it's been over for the last few months, but it still bothers me. Because I know I'm better than that. And I know Petter deserves so much better than that.
So please understand, you never ever want to go against your values just to blindly follow a person or idea that seems right. It will almost always lead you right over the cliff.
Mellow Ezlo
Spoony Bard
It's very brave of you to post this you know, and I think it proves that you do truly possess the courage you always tell yourself you lack.
I am surprised to hear this for sure, but I think I speak for most people here when I say that this does not and will not change my opinion of you, and nobody here is going to hold it against you.
I know we don't talk a whole lot anymore, but we should, I miss our chats. At least I can say it's really nice to see you in good spirits lately! I'm happy for you.
Thank you for coming out with this. You could have taken the cowardly option and continued to hide what you did, but instead you chose to share your story to come clean and try to discourage others from taking the same path as you and making that mistake themselves. This is an admirable thing.
You may have done a bad deed but there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it now. No point in beating yourself up over it a year down the line. Don't let it eat you up but let it push you to be better. It sounds like that is starting to happen. Which is great to hear.
I am not hesitant to interact with you at all. I feel the forums are a better place with you in them and it has been great to see you active here recently. I hope this continues and I'd love for you to stick around.
Anyway. Have a pug.
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2011
I dont care, i still like you.
Link Floyd
ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘⁿ
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2014
It's very brave of you to post this you know, and I think it proves that you do truly possess the courage you always tell yourself you lack.
I am surprised to hear this for sure, but I think I speak for most people here when I say that this does not and will not change my opinion of you, and nobody here is going to hold it against you.
I know we don't talk a whole lot anymore, but we should, I miss our chats. At least I can say it's really nice to see you in good spirits lately! I'm happy for you.
Thank you for coming out with this. You could have taken the cowardly option and continued to hide what you did, but instead you chose to share your story to come clean and try to discourage others from taking the same path as you and making that mistake themselves. This is an admirable thing.
You may have done a bad deed but there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it now. No point in beating yourself up over it a year down the line. Don't let it eat you up but let it push you to be better. It sounds like that is starting to happen. Which is great to hear.
I am not hesitant to interact with you at all. I feel the forums are a better place with you in them and it has been great to see you active here recently. I hope this continues and I'd love for you to stick around.
Anyway. Have a pug.
I really appreciate this guys. Although I was hoping for a different outcome by posting this.
I think Petter deserves a lot more support regarding this than I do, and I was hoping some would reach out and comfort him. Although I am the source of the problem, I've been trying my best to help him.
I assumed you had been broken up a while and were just finally coming out with it yourself.
If you need to talk about it @Pendio then you can always send me a message.
Link Floyd
ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘⁿ
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2014
I am. We broke up at the beginning of the year.