I'm in the middle of an existential crisis right now. Tonight has been a really enlightening night for me. The way I see life, before my eyes, has entirely changed. But not for the worse, no. I don't see futility like I may have at one point. We are a part of the universe, and that is beautiful. When you look up at the stars, you see the possibility of life. All of those elements make up your being, your family's being, that cute girl down the street's being. And that is amazing. I might not be special, not something that really stands out in the grand scheme of things, but I am one with the universe. And that's a comforting fact.
I've been so blessed to even exist. I beat the odds of even reaching the point of being born. And here I am, contemplating my own existence late one Saturday night. It's interesting how things come full circle sometimes.
Who am I? But more importantly;
why am I? I hear people say that their life has no meaning - no purpose. And I agree with them. But you know what? That's amazing! I'm not Oedipus, who was shackled by fate. I am not fearful of expectations by a higher being. I have the
freedom to be who I want to be. It's liberating. It's beautiful. I can be the man I want to be. I can have the courage to do the things I want to do. I can have the power to make my own decisions. And above all, I can have the will to forge my own path.
Why do I deserve to exist above others? In my place could be the next Einstein, the next Mozart, the next Martin Luther King Jr. And yet, here I am in their place. Do I deserve to exist over them? And yet, do they deserve to exist over me? We are just a small speck in the universe, yet our egos lead us to believe that we are special. That we are the most important thing in the vast expanse of space. Our egos, that occupy a space within our mind, which is occupies a space within our body, which occupies a space within a speck in the universe. It is so insignificant.
Despite our insignificance, we are still one with the universe. As Neil DeGrasse Tyson said, it may make some people feel small. But not me. I feel big - and even enlightened - by this fact. I am a piece of this grand expanse. And it's amazing to imagine that. I may never make a lasting impact on this world, but to be a part of it leaves me simply speechless. It's not about the future, it's about the now. And right now, I am a participant in this universe, whose grandiosity knows no bounds, whose expanses reach ever onward.
Some people are depressed by this feeling of insignificance, still. Their moment in life is but a millisecond - perhaps smaller - to the universe, and then it's over. It's gone. But not me. I am enlightened by this realization that I am one with the universe, regardless of how small of a piece I am.
Neutral Milk Hotel said:
How strange it is to be anything at all
