sailormars109
Finding Love by the Moon
Rice pudding tastes like a more bland version of Tapioca. It's still really good though.
There isn't a place I belong...I want to give up.
I've been a lot more tired than usual lately, I guess I'm just really exhausted from life. I'm not looking forward to the coming weeks and I'm very worried about what's going to happen. I wonder if it will be worth living though...I just see next year being worse and then the year after that, I can't see at all.
It's no use anymore.
I can't be good enough for everyone, so what's the use? I try, I try so hard.. but.. I can never be good enough. I guess I have to accept that I'm just going to be nothing. Why are other people so great? I'm pathetic. I'm pathetic for believing that I'm great, when I'm not.. I try so hard to maintain, I try so hard to be great.. but.. I guess I really am nothing. I think I should just forget trying.
I give up. Maybe it I should just.. go.
I have never had a real best friend before.
My allergies are getting really bad this year. My eyes are puffy and I think they partially sealed while I was asleep today. Ugh.
I wanted to donate blood this year because I was finally eligible, but of course my mom forgot to sign the date on my form, and they wouldn't accept it. I tried calling her (I was hiding in the bathroom, because I would probably die if I was caught by a teacher). So after 10 calls to my Mom, she still wouldn't pick up, so I had to go back and tell them I couldn't get a hold of them (which was ****ing embarrassing). They were like "welp maybe next year." Okay, BUT GUESS WHO GETS A ****ING CALL IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS; THAT WOULD BE ME (I turned the volume off, Hallelujah, but it still pissed me off). I wanted to throw my phone out the window and curse the **** out of my mom.
hi i'm att and i'm a *****
sucks i couldn't save a life or get my blood typed
I almost hit a squirrel this morning. Those little suckers are getting closer and closer this time. I don't wanna hit a squirrel D:
My back. Really...my back is hurting me very much
I'm trying to decide exactly how pathetic I am:hmm:
I feel like such an idiot here sometimes.
I'm getting the feeling that my friends don't understand me...they just don't seem to be able to understand the fact that I don't like being surrounded by a lot of people and I just can't be happy when I am. No, I can't possibly have fun at prom...too many judgemental idiots. I prefer to be in a place with only my friends and other close people doing whatever we like to do without having to worry about people saying that we are being an annoyance. I'm going to spend this whole weekend being lonely even though it seemed like we were going to have time to hang out this weekend earlier this week, prom isn't the whole freaking weekend, they have nothing else going on, and they would rather go have fun without me apparently. It's nice to know that they care.
Btw, their response when I asked them today if they wanted to hang out: "If you would only go to prom this wouldn't be a problem." I'd stop being friends with them, but they're all I've got. I have no other options than keeping them or loneliness.
Guilt is powerful.
I hate headaches. It is a nagging one the whole time
I wish I knew what to say when things get bad for people, I wish I knew how to comfort them, I wish I knew how to show them that there is a tomorrow. I wish I could say "It's okay," and "Things happen for a reason.", but I can't bring myself to lie. Idk what else to say, when things go bad I realize I know so little. I think it's just better for me to say nothing, that way I don't say the wrong thing.
Currently contemplating what they hell I'm doing with my life. I'm so far behind my peers, it isn't even funny. D:
...miserable thoughts
Still trying to find myself and try and find out about what my orientation is. and i have a huge headache so I cant think let alone post anything of any value right now. The brain pain it hearts. Meh i'll get over it. :ten:
I kind of want to write a story (completely unlike me). I've always had a that creative mind and I get tons of idea, it's just that I'm not big on reading. My style of writing would most likely be really poor and quite amateurish. I guess the only solution is to read, but I don't feel like I have the time or patience to do so...
Why is it whenever a cool person leaves ZD, I get depressed? It's mostly a person I either know or semi-know. I'm honestly thinking about leaving myself if more members leave.