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Things That Are on Your Mind

Stitch

Lost
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
I'm just an attention wh*re

I always seek compliments

(It's not like I get them in person...)
Nah ya ain't, you're just seeking friendship and having a hard time seeing that you have it. I like you a good bit from what I know of ya. Sometimes we all have to ask for help, this is just your way of doing it. You are brave for doing that, even I have trouble asking for help. If you think I can do something for you just ask, it won't bother me:yes:
 

Herman Cain

you touch her butt and she moves away
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
I am not typically good at talking about this kind of stuff, but a lot of people on ZD seem to be in a dark place in their lives right now. I guess this isn't directed at anyone in particular, but just me typing into my keyboard as thoughts come into my head. With that in mind, I'll try and keep my ramblings to a minimum.

A lot of people say that things get better as time goes on. And they do. But it's not through just sitting there and moping around. Nothing gets better if you spend the entirety of your days thinking about how bad life is. A wise man once said, "Be the change in the world you want to see." But this statement is far broader than most realize. It doesn't just mean to change the entire world. It doesn't even necessarily mean to change someone else's world. Sometimes all that matters is making a positive change in the small space in your mind that you can call your world.

You do this in more ways than just one, though. There is no clear cut path to happiness, or wisdom, or understanding of the world around you. Everything is gained through experience. Make mistakes when you're young. Fall down six times, but get back up seven times. Don't be afraid to get a broken heart. The world is harsh to people who can't take a punch, and evading doesn't help. Sometimes you need a black eye before you can take the harder hits down the road. And maybe sometimes you need to be the one dealing the blow.

Does that make you a bad person? Not always. Sometimes it's better to cause harm than to not do anything at all, and let resentment fester within you. I'd like to tell so many people this by name, every person I have ever wronged, and explain to them that it wasn't out of hatred. We've all made mistakes, and had to face the consequences. Sometimes others are hurt by it, too.

I've made plenty of mistakes in the 16 years of my life. I make them every day, and I have to live with it. That's just how life is sometimes. Does it suck? Oh god, you bet. Sometimes I sit in bed, wide awake, and imagine every scenario that I've messed up in, and think about what I should have done. But I can't go back and fix it. And if I did, what would I have learned? Nothing, because I'd learn that I can erase mistakes, as though life is just a rough draft of an essay. But it isn't. Life is far beyond that; life is a thesis paper that takes years to complete. And not everyone writes about the same topic, and not everyone reaches the same conclusion. Some give up, and others press on when everything seems lost. But isn't it more satisfying to see your labors finally reach fruition?

It makes me sad to see people in dark places in their life, and it makes me sad to know that I've hurt some of those people. It's a shame that we aren't all perfect. As hard as I try to be, I have faults. Even my role models have faults. The people I idolize and seek to emulate have faults. Being so hard on yourself isn't good for you, and it will only bring grief. Accepting your flaws, and seeking to amend them, is the only way to become a better person.

And who knows? Maybe everything does happen for a reason. Maybe one day all of this suffering will be worth something in the end. Or maybe everything is just left to chance, and it is up to us to forge the path ahead. But at the end of the day, does it matter? I like to think that we as humans have the will to stand up to adversity, whether it's battling with depression, fighting illness, or just finding the courage to ask that girl out. Things aren't always tied up into a nice ribbon at the end like a sitcom, but you can still come out of it with a lesson learned. It's up to you to find positivity in the bleakest of situations.

Humans of New York said:
"She won't love me until I get my act together."
-"Who is 'she?'"
"Everyone has a She."
 
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Stitch

Lost
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
I'm thinking about whether I can realistically make it through school and then further into life after that. My options seem few and far between. Idk, I guess there's something I could do, but I don't want to take the risk of making other people's lives worse just to better mine. This world can be so cruel, why can't people make a choice that makes everyone's lives better? I don't want to see the people around me sad because of me, they don't deserve it...
 

sailormars109

Finding Love by the Moon
Joined
May 28, 2012
Location
Macy, Indiana
I'm thinking about whether I can realistically make it through school and then further into life after that. My options seem few and far between. Idk, I guess there's something I could do, but I don't want to take the risk of making other people's lives worse just to better mine. This world can be so cruel, why can't people make a choice that makes everyone's lives better? I don't want to see the people around me sad because of me, they don't deserve it...
Draco, listen to me. Take it from the girl who has been through this for the last 6 years. Take it from the girl who actually thought that she was a burden to the world and tried to end her life 4 times because of it. You are not burdening anyone. You need to do what is best for yourself right now. If those people you mentioned think you're some bad person because of it, then they were never truly your friends. I am always here though if you need to talk. Please remember that I care about you. You're my little brother and I am quite fond of you!
 

Stitch

Lost
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
Draco, listen to me. Take it from the girl who has been through this for the last 6 years. Take it from the girl who actually thought that she was a burden to the world and tried to end her life 4 times because of it. You are not burdening anyone. You need to do what is best for yourself right now. If those people you mentioned think you're some bad person because of it, then they were never truly your friends. I am always here though if you need to talk. Please remember that I care about you. You're my little brother and I am quite fond of you!
It's not friends I'm worried about, it's my family...I don't want them to worry...I want them to think everything is fine...it's better for them this way...if I fall it's my own fault and I want it to be remembered that way. I'll keep my head up, maybe smile, but my life is mine and everything wrong with it is my fault, I don't need anybody thinking that the fault lies on them.
 

sailormars109

Finding Love by the Moon
Joined
May 28, 2012
Location
Macy, Indiana
It's not friends I'm worried about, it's my family...I don't want them to worry...I want them to think everything is fine...it's better for them this way...if I fall it's my own fault and I want it to be remembered that way. I'll keep my head up, maybe smile, but my life is mine and everything wrong with it is my fault, I don't need anybody thinking that the fault lies on them.
Draco, it's no one's fault. You may think I'm crazy for saying this, but telling your family is the best thing you can do right now. Keeping it from your family will make everything so much worse in the long run. I went through that mere months ago. It's not fun and I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I went through in December when I got sent to a Behavioral Hospital. I hurt and betrayed everyone by keeping everything from them. Trust me, coming out with what your feeling now is the best thing to do.
 
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Location
United States
I had to delete my last blog entry because it has gotten too controversial. I really shouldn't have posted it in the first place. Maybe I should just leave here and not have people get angry with me because of that.......
 

Stitch

Lost
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
I had to delete my last blog entry because it has gotten too controversial. I really shouldn't have posted it in the first place. Maybe I should just leave here and not have people get angry with me because of that.......
I thought your last blog entry was really good and it was something that needed to be said. There are always going to be people who disagree with you, it doesn't mean they were angry. The fact that so many people commented on it just shows how good it was, you can't let a few people who disagree let you down.
 

Jimmu

Administrator
Staff member
ZD Legend
Administrator
Joined
May 6, 2012
Location
Sydney, Australia
It's past 1:30am and now that I found my last Maiamai I will go to bed. Some of those were very well hidden.

When I wake up I'm going bowling with some friends :)
 

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