Pop 360
Angel Beats Geek
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2010
- Location
- The Afterlife battlefront
OK, This Is my story it has no sign up and the other one I said I would Write is not happening, ok if it sounds the characters dialouge is childish its because of their age. Leave your comments below.>.>
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Prolouge
Erm... well most of you know I cant make up a story so I guess I’ll just tell you a true one, My name is Cara (you say S-air-ah)and this is the adventure that I embarked on with my friends with only a mind set on what I needed to do, I don’t know how to start... Ok I got it lets go.
“Hey look at this ad: The secret, if you know what I mean 10:00PM on Monday night at the north rock SE I have to speak to you, any intruders will be treated to a slow and painful death ~M ” Atsuma smiled “Sounds awesome doesn’t it? I think we should go” We knew little of what we were getting ourselves into we were all 14 at the time, and we were curious we didn’t care about some death threat. “I wanna go I am so totally in” screeched Ella-Rose, “ I know where that is,” I piped excitedly “North rock is on that cliff peak not far west from here, SE stands for South entrance, there is an secret entrance to an underground Cave thingy ,me and Yotam discovered it when we were little, do you remember Yotam?”, “Whoa yeah I didn’t know people actually still used it for secret meetings though” Yotam replied, Atsuma looked at the three of us “so who’s in?” Asked Atsuma excitedly He eagerly put his hand out in front of him, Ella-Rose got up” I’m going, but were going to creep in because we don’t actually know the secret right?” “Right” I repeated,”I’m in too” And I put my hand on top of Atsuma’s and Ella’s in the quarter circle, we all stared at Yotam, “Ok but if we get killed I’m blaming you” His eyes flicked between the three of us “all of you..” he followed it with a small laugh, yes I’m in!” He completed the circle, it was final, and that night 10:00pm we were going to find out about “The secret”.
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Prolouge
Erm... well most of you know I cant make up a story so I guess I’ll just tell you a true one, My name is Cara (you say S-air-ah)and this is the adventure that I embarked on with my friends with only a mind set on what I needed to do, I don’t know how to start... Ok I got it lets go.
“Hey look at this ad: The secret, if you know what I mean 10:00PM on Monday night at the north rock SE I have to speak to you, any intruders will be treated to a slow and painful death ~M ” Atsuma smiled “Sounds awesome doesn’t it? I think we should go” We knew little of what we were getting ourselves into we were all 14 at the time, and we were curious we didn’t care about some death threat. “I wanna go I am so totally in” screeched Ella-Rose, “ I know where that is,” I piped excitedly “North rock is on that cliff peak not far west from here, SE stands for South entrance, there is an secret entrance to an underground Cave thingy ,me and Yotam discovered it when we were little, do you remember Yotam?”, “Whoa yeah I didn’t know people actually still used it for secret meetings though” Yotam replied, Atsuma looked at the three of us “so who’s in?” Asked Atsuma excitedly He eagerly put his hand out in front of him, Ella-Rose got up” I’m going, but were going to creep in because we don’t actually know the secret right?” “Right” I repeated,”I’m in too” And I put my hand on top of Atsuma’s and Ella’s in the quarter circle, we all stared at Yotam, “Ok but if we get killed I’m blaming you” His eyes flicked between the three of us “all of you..” he followed it with a small laugh, yes I’m in!” He completed the circle, it was final, and that night 10:00pm we were going to find out about “The secret”.
Lolz. Alright, sounds good, at least you haven't quit entirely, you'll still work on it. Good luck with it, as I myself am in the process of rewriting my own story once again. So I understand what you mean, sometimes it just doesn't work the first time, but that's what editing is all about, to correct stuff and make it better.