- Joined
- Nov 2, 2011
- Location
- Canada
This is a prologue I wrote tonight. This would be the prologue of a short story, I think I'm not sure where I would go with the story of I continued it lol... i would love for some criticism and opinions of this
The Road To Iridia
PROLOGUE
Jakob tilted his head skyward. He could feel soft drops of rain on his face. This would be the last soft mist of Dungaro he would ever experience. The thought made him sad. This place was where he was born. How could he be leaving it? He heard a voice calling, from far in the distance. “Jakob! Get over here! It’s time to go!”. It was his mother, of course. Jakob willed himself to look away from the rain and face her. She was dressed in dark robes, fit for travelling, and a hood was pulled far down her face, so that you could only see her nose and mouth. Her eyes were hidden. “They’ll be coming soon Jakob. We need to leave. NOW.”
Jakob hurried towards her. She was standing beside a small cart, laden with supplies that they would need for the early leg of the journey, while they were still technically on the run. Behind his mother and the cart, lay the hut Jakob had lived in his whole life. All his life that hut had been a place of comfort, good food and rest, somewhere to go if you had suffered a scrape on the knee or needed a refreshment. There was no healthy smoke-stack rising above the chimney anymore though... now the hut looked sad and helpless.
“We have to GO Jakob!” His mother cried. She was already sat on the cart. Her hood was pulled up now, it showed her eyes were urgent. Jakob hurried onto the cart while trying to hold back his tears. Why did they have to leave so soon? Jakob thought. There wasn’t any immediate danger, the way he saw it. The grassy fields that surrounded the hut and small community were completely silent. Even the crickets, which were usually so restless this time of day, were quiet. Jakob had to admit that was strange, though, and he became uncomfortably aware of the dead silence as her mother lashed her whip to put their donkey into motion. The cart began moving, and all Jakob and his mother could hear was the steady rumbling of a cart over a dirt roadway, and the echo of a whip, far away.
The Road To Iridia
PROLOGUE
Jakob tilted his head skyward. He could feel soft drops of rain on his face. This would be the last soft mist of Dungaro he would ever experience. The thought made him sad. This place was where he was born. How could he be leaving it? He heard a voice calling, from far in the distance. “Jakob! Get over here! It’s time to go!”. It was his mother, of course. Jakob willed himself to look away from the rain and face her. She was dressed in dark robes, fit for travelling, and a hood was pulled far down her face, so that you could only see her nose and mouth. Her eyes were hidden. “They’ll be coming soon Jakob. We need to leave. NOW.”
Jakob hurried towards her. She was standing beside a small cart, laden with supplies that they would need for the early leg of the journey, while they were still technically on the run. Behind his mother and the cart, lay the hut Jakob had lived in his whole life. All his life that hut had been a place of comfort, good food and rest, somewhere to go if you had suffered a scrape on the knee or needed a refreshment. There was no healthy smoke-stack rising above the chimney anymore though... now the hut looked sad and helpless.
“We have to GO Jakob!” His mother cried. She was already sat on the cart. Her hood was pulled up now, it showed her eyes were urgent. Jakob hurried onto the cart while trying to hold back his tears. Why did they have to leave so soon? Jakob thought. There wasn’t any immediate danger, the way he saw it. The grassy fields that surrounded the hut and small community were completely silent. Even the crickets, which were usually so restless this time of day, were quiet. Jakob had to admit that was strange, though, and he became uncomfortably aware of the dead silence as her mother lashed her whip to put their donkey into motion. The cart began moving, and all Jakob and his mother could hear was the steady rumbling of a cart over a dirt roadway, and the echo of a whip, far away.
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