- Joined
- May 11, 2011
I’ve just made up a ridiculous Zelda theory, purely intended to just be a joke - purposefully dumb and out there. In no way do I believe this theory (who would?!) – I just wanted to think of the most ridiculous thing I could.
Here it is: TLOZ games actually happened, in real life, on Earth. Every Zelda game happened millions and millions of years before our own recorded history.
Here are some key points:
- The big bang was actually none other than the 3 goddesses creating the world
- All the Zelda games then happened, in between the creation of the universe, and the arrival of the dinosaurs
- This would make certain things, like the primordial soup theory, incorrect. It also deems all religions wrong. (I don't mean to offend here, these are just for the theory, not my own views!)
- The 3 zelda timelines do indeed at some point merge with each other, making every Zelda game ‘canon’ to our own real-life history
- This also means that the creators of TLOZ games are time-travellers. Whenever they need to create a new Zelda game, they just travel back to a certain period, secretly observing and taking notes. Some NPCs in the games are actually Nintendo workers! Robin Williams even got in on this, as there is an NPC in BOTW said to be based off him…
- Once the dinosaurs arrive, hylians, gorons, gerudos, zoras…. everything, all races, all wiped out
- After the extinction of the dinosaurs, the 3 goddesses decided to create a new breed of Hylians, but this was in more primitive forms, which would eventually evolve into ‘modern-day’ Hylians, which are known simply as ‘Humans’. This makes both creationism AND evolution true!
- The goddesses gave up on bringing back Gorons, Zoras, etc, and went with the animals of Earth that we all know today instead. (Some of these even appeared in BOTW; and horses in many games).
- The mystery of who built the pyramids of Egypt? It was the goddesses, who created them in memory of the Gerudo and their own pyramids, such as the one in Four Swords Adventures.
- The demise curse, and the hero and princess reincarnated, all still happen, many times throughout our own history!
- The reincarnations of the characters eventually became less obvious over time, and the names “Link”, “Zelda”, “Ganondorf” etc, were all dropped
- An example of an incarnation of Link in our recorded History is William The Conqueror. Some other examples of other characters, throughout different times are Zelda as Joan Of Arc; Ganondorf/Demise as Hitler, and many years before, Atilla The Hun; Vaati was once Stalin; Tingle is currently Donald Trump; Impa was Mother Teresa; Beedle is among us, as one of the many salespeople that rips us all off!
- The locations of the Sacred Realm and Triforce are known to the government, but unknown and hidden from the rest of society. Area 51 could be connected.
And there you have it. Feel free to add what you want to this ridiculous theory, and also feel free to think of your own ridiculous theories!
Here it is: TLOZ games actually happened, in real life, on Earth. Every Zelda game happened millions and millions of years before our own recorded history.
Here are some key points:
- The big bang was actually none other than the 3 goddesses creating the world
- All the Zelda games then happened, in between the creation of the universe, and the arrival of the dinosaurs
- This would make certain things, like the primordial soup theory, incorrect. It also deems all religions wrong. (I don't mean to offend here, these are just for the theory, not my own views!)
- The 3 zelda timelines do indeed at some point merge with each other, making every Zelda game ‘canon’ to our own real-life history
- This also means that the creators of TLOZ games are time-travellers. Whenever they need to create a new Zelda game, they just travel back to a certain period, secretly observing and taking notes. Some NPCs in the games are actually Nintendo workers! Robin Williams even got in on this, as there is an NPC in BOTW said to be based off him…
- Once the dinosaurs arrive, hylians, gorons, gerudos, zoras…. everything, all races, all wiped out
- After the extinction of the dinosaurs, the 3 goddesses decided to create a new breed of Hylians, but this was in more primitive forms, which would eventually evolve into ‘modern-day’ Hylians, which are known simply as ‘Humans’. This makes both creationism AND evolution true!
- The goddesses gave up on bringing back Gorons, Zoras, etc, and went with the animals of Earth that we all know today instead. (Some of these even appeared in BOTW; and horses in many games).
- The mystery of who built the pyramids of Egypt? It was the goddesses, who created them in memory of the Gerudo and their own pyramids, such as the one in Four Swords Adventures.
- The demise curse, and the hero and princess reincarnated, all still happen, many times throughout our own history!
- The reincarnations of the characters eventually became less obvious over time, and the names “Link”, “Zelda”, “Ganondorf” etc, were all dropped
- An example of an incarnation of Link in our recorded History is William The Conqueror. Some other examples of other characters, throughout different times are Zelda as Joan Of Arc; Ganondorf/Demise as Hitler, and many years before, Atilla The Hun; Vaati was once Stalin; Tingle is currently Donald Trump; Impa was Mother Teresa; Beedle is among us, as one of the many salespeople that rips us all off!
- The locations of the Sacred Realm and Triforce are known to the government, but unknown and hidden from the rest of society. Area 51 could be connected.
And there you have it. Feel free to add what you want to this ridiculous theory, and also feel free to think of your own ridiculous theories!
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