The Official ZD Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Batman
- Start date
Triforce King
Pathfinder for life
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2011
Beauts
Rock and roll will never die
A pub had been having some trouble with drugs and fights lately so two policemen came to stand outside and keep watch outside one night with a sniffer dog.
One man came outside and lifted the dogs tail, then went back inside.
Then the second man came and lifted the dogs tail and then walked off.
When the third man came outside, the policemen asked him "what's all that about?"
The third man shrugged, "Everyone inside is saying there's a dog with two arseholes outside and I wanted to see"
One man came outside and lifted the dogs tail, then went back inside.
Then the second man came and lifted the dogs tail and then walked off.
When the third man came outside, the policemen asked him "what's all that about?"
The third man shrugged, "Everyone inside is saying there's a dog with two arseholes outside and I wanted to see"
Triforce King
Pathfinder for life
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2011
Why can't George Lopez keep a job?
Because he can't do nothing!
Because he can't do nothing!
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2015
Three sisters got married on the same day, and just for the heck of it decide to do their naughty on the first day with their new husbands.
That night, their mother got up for some potty business, and she came across her daughters' rooms. Passing the room of the oldest daughter, she heard the daughter giggling. When she neared the second daughter's room, she heard her daughter's sobbing. As she walked past the third room, she noticed that it was silent in there.
The next morning, she inquires all three for their actions.
Daughter 1: Mom, you told me to laugh when I'm happy.
Daughter 2: You also told me that it's okay to cry when I'm hurt.
Daughter 3: And you also told us to never talk with our mouths full. :leafleaf:
That night, their mother got up for some potty business, and she came across her daughters' rooms. Passing the room of the oldest daughter, she heard the daughter giggling. When she neared the second daughter's room, she heard her daughter's sobbing. As she walked past the third room, she noticed that it was silent in there.
The next morning, she inquires all three for their actions.
Daughter 1: Mom, you told me to laugh when I'm happy.
Daughter 2: You also told me that it's okay to cry when I'm hurt.
Daughter 3: And you also told us to never talk with our mouths full. :leafleaf:
Mellow Ezlo
Spoony Bard
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
And 6 loved 9. They couldn't be separated.
69.
i cri evrytiem
Because 7 ate 9.
And 6 loved 9. They couldn't be separated.
69.
i cri evrytiem
A man walked into his job acting weird. His co-workers approached him and said, “what's wrong John?”
John replied, “I bought shoes from a drug dealer this morning, I'm not sure what he laced them with but I've been tripping all morning.”
John replied, “I bought shoes from a drug dealer this morning, I'm not sure what he laced them with but I've been tripping all morning.”
Triforce King
Pathfinder for life
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2011
How many Dick Graysons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
0 because Dick was busy screwing in Starfire
A Bar at 2 A.M. and a daycare for pre-school children are almost exactly the same.
Both places you walk in a bathroom and see a person laughing, peeing, and missing the toliet.
There is usually someone yelling, “Yeeeeeeeeeooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Someone is crying, “She was my best friendddddddd! Now she's notttttttt!”
Lastly there is usually a fight, “He was standing were I wanted tooooooo! So I punched him in the facccccccce! Give me some more of that juice stuffs...”
Yeah.
Both places you walk in a bathroom and see a person laughing, peeing, and missing the toliet.
There is usually someone yelling, “Yeeeeeeeeeooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Someone is crying, “She was my best friendddddddd! Now she's notttttttt!”
Lastly there is usually a fight, “He was standing were I wanted tooooooo! So I punched him in the facccccccce! Give me some more of that juice stuffs...”
Yeah.
Beauts
Rock and roll will never die
A photon checks into a hotel, the bellhop asks if he has any luggage. The photon says "no, I'm travelling light"
Yo mama so classless she's a Marxist utopia
Yo mama so classless she's a Marxist utopia
Fiery Klongo
I Am Mardric
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2011
- Location
- Hyrule Castle
Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie.
A: A walkie-talkie.
