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The Official ZD Jokes Thread

Nov 17, 2014
1. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you even tried.

2. Gravity, it's not just a good idea...it's THE LAW!!

3. Energizer bunny arrested; Charged with battery.


Jul 1, 2012
A little boy caught his mom and dad doing the naughty. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" The mom said, "We were baking a cake."

A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake in the living room?" She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch! It was sweet!”

Azure Sage

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A man and his wife go to the hospital to deliver the wife's baby. Upon their arrival, the doctor tells them that they have a new machine that can transfer some of the mother's labor pains to the father. They both agree to try it. The doctor cranks the machine up to 10%, but the husband isn't feeling anything. The machine is turned up to 20%, and then 30%. Still, the husband feels nothing. They turn the machine all the way to 100%. The husband is totally fine and the wife is able to deliver a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

When they got home from the hospital, they found their mailman dead on the front porch.


つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
Nov 12, 2007
In bed
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.


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