Garo
Boy Wonder
The New Zelda Dungeon Writing Community Competition
Round 2 - June 2013
Round 2 - June 2013
Welcome to the second stage of the second round of the New Zelda Dungeon Writing Community Competition! Earlier this month, contestants were given a list of ten parameters and tasked with crafting a short story that used at least three of them. They had three weeks to write and edit and refine their stories before submission, and now we have four great entries to share with everybody this month! Thank you and congratulations to everybody who entered.
Though we have four entries this month, only one can take home the prize: that's where you, the spectators, come in. Below the list of parameters you will find all five stories in a spoiler tag. Once you've read all five entries, vote for your favorite one in the poll at the top of this thread. After a week, the poll will close and we will announce the winner of Round 2. Good luck, contestants!
But that's not all that you spectators can do: we need parameters for round 3! If you would like to suggest a parameter to be included in the second round, toss your suggestion(s) - you can have more than one! - in a reply to the thread below, along with comments and criticisms of the stories submitted for round 2! Let's get some good parameters for round 3, so we can get some really interesting stories once again!
Make sure you read the voting round guidelines immediately below this intro before you vote or post in the thread. Below those guidelines, you'll find the list of parameters for round 2. Below that, you will find all four entries for round 2. Happy voting!
Guidelines for the Voting Round:
1. Before voting, you must read every single entry. Give everybody a chance, don't just vote for your friends! Also, contestants may not vote for themselves - feel free to vote for others, however. Spread the love!
2. It is highly encouraged that you leave comments and criticisms of the works submitted into the competition - the goal of this is to give everybody a chance to practice and show off their writing ability - but if you do so, make sure that you're being constructive and not rude.
3. All parameter suggestions MUST meet the same content guidelines as the stories themselves. As a rule of thumb, if it's allowed on the forum, it'll be allowed here.
4. Additionally, parameters must be GENERAL rather than SPECIFIC. "A character must be named Robert Kane" is more general than "The main character must be named Robert Kane". The more freedom your parameter allows, the more likely it is to be chosen.
5. No vulgar language, even if censored, is allowed in parameter suggestions.
6. Parameters cannot reference other members of Zelda Dungeon.
2. It is highly encouraged that you leave comments and criticisms of the works submitted into the competition - the goal of this is to give everybody a chance to practice and show off their writing ability - but if you do so, make sure that you're being constructive and not rude.
3. All parameter suggestions MUST meet the same content guidelines as the stories themselves. As a rule of thumb, if it's allowed on the forum, it'll be allowed here.
4. Additionally, parameters must be GENERAL rather than SPECIFIC. "A character must be named Robert Kane" is more general than "The main character must be named Robert Kane". The more freedom your parameter allows, the more likely it is to be chosen.
5. No vulgar language, even if censored, is allowed in parameter suggestions.
6. Parameters cannot reference other members of Zelda Dungeon.
Parameters for Round 2:
1. Include a character named Elizabeth Mareen in your story. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
2. A character must be involved in or present during a bank robbery. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
3. A character must celebrate a birthday or anniversary. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
4. A character must roll out of bed and onto the floor. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
5. A character must put on sunglasses after making a pun.
6. A character must be chased by dogs.
7. Your story must take place in a city called Coast City.
8. A character must be offered a choice between two objects that are identical, except that one is blue and one is red.
9. It must be storming at some point during your story.
10. Your story must feature a car crash.
2. A character must be involved in or present during a bank robbery. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
3. A character must celebrate a birthday or anniversary. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
4. A character must roll out of bed and onto the floor. (Submitted by TSter the Great!)
5. A character must put on sunglasses after making a pun.
6. A character must be chased by dogs.
7. Your story must take place in a city called Coast City.
8. A character must be offered a choice between two objects that are identical, except that one is blue and one is red.
9. It must be storming at some point during your story.
10. Your story must feature a car crash.
Round 2 Entries:
A Link in Time
Cfrock:
Egregious:
Gobli:
Midnight March
Too damn warm. Too damn warm. It was too damn warm outside. Removing her polyester vest, Elizabeth hobbled into the refreshing air conditioning of her hotel building, taking the elevator to the 15th floor.
“Hello, Ms. Mareen. Is there something I can get you?,” her butler Alfred asked upon entering the room.
“Yes, Alfred; I’ll have a glass of red wine and a crumpet please.”
Elizabeth Mareen always sought the finest things in life. The daughter of the esteemed prime minister, she insisted on the highest quality of life. Her hotel complex was littered with unopened perfume bottles, finely woven Persian rugs, and China jars.
Entering onto the balcony, she peered down upon Coast City. It was a marvelous place. Many people went so far as to call it the ‘Eighth Wonder of the World’. Overgrown foliage dotted its streets; people stopped to gawk at venders by the street side; the Golden Arch Bridge rendered sunrises and sunsets even more spectacular. But what people came war and wide for was the city’s fresh air. People were encouraged to walk on foot or ride on bicycle or horse driven carriage. It was like a nineteenth century paradise. There were no cars clogging the streets, polluting the air. Well, unless you kept one concealed.
“Alfred, call the garage and tell them to ready my car immediately.”
“Will do, Miss.”
Wasting away in this backwards dump was no fun. Why not seek the thrills in life? Elizabeth had made escaping the city walls to find refuge in one of neighboring Hall City’s bars a nightly ritual. Taking the elevator down, she thought of the partying to be done. Mrs. Rugbert would surely be there. She brewed the finest beer and knew how to keep people laughing with her clever witticisms. Yes; that’s what Elizabeth needed: A good laugh.
Fifteen minutes later, cruising the highway, Elizabeth’s mind was still wrapped around what she would do upon arriving at Hall City. She never saw the emerging black sedan. Her car collided full force, rolling off the Golden Arch Bridge. By the time emergency care arrived, it was too late. Her car had long plummeted into the ocean. Only a pearl necklace still soaked in strong perfume remained.
Too damn warm. Too damn warm. It was too damn warm outside. Removing her polyester vest, Elizabeth hobbled into the refreshing air conditioning of her hotel building, taking the elevator to the 15th floor.
“Hello, Ms. Mareen. Is there something I can get you?,” her butler Alfred asked upon entering the room.
“Yes, Alfred; I’ll have a glass of red wine and a crumpet please.”
Elizabeth Mareen always sought the finest things in life. The daughter of the esteemed prime minister, she insisted on the highest quality of life. Her hotel complex was littered with unopened perfume bottles, finely woven Persian rugs, and China jars.
Entering onto the balcony, she peered down upon Coast City. It was a marvelous place. Many people went so far as to call it the ‘Eighth Wonder of the World’. Overgrown foliage dotted its streets; people stopped to gawk at venders by the street side; the Golden Arch Bridge rendered sunrises and sunsets even more spectacular. But what people came war and wide for was the city’s fresh air. People were encouraged to walk on foot or ride on bicycle or horse driven carriage. It was like a nineteenth century paradise. There were no cars clogging the streets, polluting the air. Well, unless you kept one concealed.
“Alfred, call the garage and tell them to ready my car immediately.”
“Will do, Miss.”
Wasting away in this backwards dump was no fun. Why not seek the thrills in life? Elizabeth had made escaping the city walls to find refuge in one of neighboring Hall City’s bars a nightly ritual. Taking the elevator down, she thought of the partying to be done. Mrs. Rugbert would surely be there. She brewed the finest beer and knew how to keep people laughing with her clever witticisms. Yes; that’s what Elizabeth needed: A good laugh.
Fifteen minutes later, cruising the highway, Elizabeth’s mind was still wrapped around what she would do upon arriving at Hall City. She never saw the emerging black sedan. Her car collided full force, rolling off the Golden Arch Bridge. By the time emergency care arrived, it was too late. Her car had long plummeted into the ocean. Only a pearl necklace still soaked in strong perfume remained.
Cfrock:
The Chase
I’m going to start by introducing myself because it’s polite and I’m a nice kind of guy. My name is Daryll Teller but everyone calls me Bank. I’m a driver. Not a driver like a chauffeur or one of those idiots with a limo, I mean a real driver. When people rob banks, I’m the getaway. When people need someone caught, I’m the hound. You see that awesome chase scene in Hashiriya 6: Wangan Boost? That was me. So you get the idea of what I do. I’m very good at it.
Anyway, now that you know who I am I’m sure you’ll want to know where I am. Where else would a talented motor enthusiast like me be? Coast City of course. Great sea views, nice mix of wide throughways and tight streets, and an incredible main road stretching downhill right to the edge of the water make this the best place in the world for a guy like me. Helps that the cops have fast cars and know how to handle them too. Keeps things interesting.
So that’s the who and the where, let’s get into the what. This all happened one beautiful day in June. The sun’s riding high, the sky’s a perfect shade of blue, and some crazy B driving what’s more wreck than car just slams into the back of me while I’m crossing an intersection. My car’s spun round by the impact and I get out to inspect the damage. The rear axle’s all twisted; there’s no way the thing’s moving again. It had been such a nice car, too.
I stomp over to the car that hit me, intending to get my knuckles a little sore, you know, when the driver steps out. It isn’t the stupid kid with his pants around his ankles and a fake gold tooth that I’m expecting. It’s a woman, for one thing. A very good-looking woman. A very good-looking woman looking good in her tight jeans, her tight top, leather jacket, and black hair flowing all around. Nope, can’t say I expected that one.
She takes a look at her car, sees the steam coming from the front and the way the whole thing has been smashed to pieces and she shouts something that I’m not going to repeat here because, like I said, I’m a nice kind of guy. I walk up to this girl and politely ask her ‘What the Hell?!’ but she isn’t listening. She’s looking back down the way she came and then looking all over, like she’s trying to figure out where to run.
And then she spots something and runs off towards it with me following like a fool shouting ‘Hey! I’m talking to you!’ but she still ignores me. So I still follow her. She’s heading towards this car showroom on the corner and I suddenly get this bad feeling that she’s planning on doing something stupid so I speed up to catch her. She gets inside and this clerk comes over all smiles and eager to get a fat commission. She just lamps him right in the face, doesn’t even slow down at all, just hits him full force and he goes right down cradling his broken nose. She disappears into the back room and, just as I get inside the showroom, she comes back out holding a few sets of car keys. This time I grabbed her to get her attention.
‘What the Hell, lady?! I don’t know what’s wrong with you but—‘
‘Get the Hell out of my way! There are a bunch of guys after me and I’ll be damned if they catch me because of some grease-ball like you!’
‘You owe me for my car!’
She says ‘On me. You like blue or red?’ and points to these two Jaguar XKRs, one in blue, the other in red. It's a nice looking machine, a little bulky for my tastes but definitely attractive. I ask for the blue one and she tosses me a key before going over to the red one. By now I’m captivated. A gorgeous girl just smashed into me then ran off, decked some guy without thinking and then steals a couple of high-end Jags? Pretty sure this is what love feels like.
I say ‘Hey, what’s your name?’
She looks at me as she opens her car door and says ‘Liz. Liz Mareen.’ I try to tell her to call me Bank but the slam of her door cuts me off. I jump into my new car and get it started up. The noise from the engine is like music but it’s interrupted by the sound of shattered glass as Liz drives right through the showroom window. I get into gear and set off behind her because I want to know more about her and I can’t let her get away. That was when five guys riding motorbikes shoot by after her.
What can I say, I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress. I get moving, racing up behind these bikers and Liz turns onto that main road I was telling you about, the steep hill. Those guys better know how to handle those bikes out here. Putting your foot down while on this hill is asking for trouble. You get gravity trying to drive your car for you while your engine is firing off and powering you down towards the Earth below. The slightest little nudge could spell disaster. The first biker I catch up to learns this the hard way.
I move just a little bit too close for comfort then move a little bit closer. The front corner of my car gently taps the back of his bike and within a few seconds the bike is flipping away across the road and the poor sap is rolling down the hill praying that someone saves him from being flattened by the bus coming the other way. I speed up to catch the rest of them. They’re all wearing these gaudy vests with some gang sign on the back. The Dogs. Now what would a two-bit street crew like The Dogs be wanting with a girl like Liz?
I look ahead to see what she’s doing just as a stream of silvery objects fall out of her driver side window. The sun catches on them as they scatter over the road, making them look like little stars or something poetic like that. I don’t know, I was never very good with words. Point is the first biker goes over them, his tyres burst like they had a stick of dynamite in them, and he falls from the bike. Two more of them follow by example and get taken out of the race but the last biker swerves past them, keeps his front tyre from popping but just catches his back one.
He starts swerving all over the place as I rock the wheel and give the scattered spikes as wide a berth as possible. Despite the spikes this biker guy is hanging in there. We’re coming to the bottom of the hill and if this guy can’t get his bike turned at this speed then he’s going off and into the sea. Liz seems to think he won’t make it because she starts to slow down and brings herself to a stop just by the barrier on the cliff edge. The biker tries to turn himself towards her but there’s torn rubber flapping around behind him and he’s losing control with each second. He can’t get it handled and smashes right through the flimsy barrier and goes flying over the cliff like a bullet.
I pull up next to Liz and step out of my car. She’s watching the biker fall as I get out and stand beside her.
‘You think he’ll be ok?’ she says with no tone of concern at all.
‘I’m sure he’ll be fine,’ I say to her a moment before we hear an explosion from the bottom of the cliff. ‘Yep, completely fine. With the way you made those guys spin out like that we should start calling you Liz Careen.’ I take a pair of sunglasses out of my pocket and slip them on. The sun is too bright for my liking.
She scoffs at my joke, trying to pretend she didn’t find it hilarious, and goes to get back into her car. ‘Hey,’ I call to her and she waits. ‘You gonna tell me why those Dogs were chasing you?’
She smiles at me with this mischievous glint in her eye. ‘Tell you what. If you catch me, I’ll tell you all about it.’ Her engine roars into life and she speeds off just as I get into my car to give chase. I can never resist a tease like that.
I’m going to start by introducing myself because it’s polite and I’m a nice kind of guy. My name is Daryll Teller but everyone calls me Bank. I’m a driver. Not a driver like a chauffeur or one of those idiots with a limo, I mean a real driver. When people rob banks, I’m the getaway. When people need someone caught, I’m the hound. You see that awesome chase scene in Hashiriya 6: Wangan Boost? That was me. So you get the idea of what I do. I’m very good at it.
Anyway, now that you know who I am I’m sure you’ll want to know where I am. Where else would a talented motor enthusiast like me be? Coast City of course. Great sea views, nice mix of wide throughways and tight streets, and an incredible main road stretching downhill right to the edge of the water make this the best place in the world for a guy like me. Helps that the cops have fast cars and know how to handle them too. Keeps things interesting.
So that’s the who and the where, let’s get into the what. This all happened one beautiful day in June. The sun’s riding high, the sky’s a perfect shade of blue, and some crazy B driving what’s more wreck than car just slams into the back of me while I’m crossing an intersection. My car’s spun round by the impact and I get out to inspect the damage. The rear axle’s all twisted; there’s no way the thing’s moving again. It had been such a nice car, too.
I stomp over to the car that hit me, intending to get my knuckles a little sore, you know, when the driver steps out. It isn’t the stupid kid with his pants around his ankles and a fake gold tooth that I’m expecting. It’s a woman, for one thing. A very good-looking woman. A very good-looking woman looking good in her tight jeans, her tight top, leather jacket, and black hair flowing all around. Nope, can’t say I expected that one.
She takes a look at her car, sees the steam coming from the front and the way the whole thing has been smashed to pieces and she shouts something that I’m not going to repeat here because, like I said, I’m a nice kind of guy. I walk up to this girl and politely ask her ‘What the Hell?!’ but she isn’t listening. She’s looking back down the way she came and then looking all over, like she’s trying to figure out where to run.
And then she spots something and runs off towards it with me following like a fool shouting ‘Hey! I’m talking to you!’ but she still ignores me. So I still follow her. She’s heading towards this car showroom on the corner and I suddenly get this bad feeling that she’s planning on doing something stupid so I speed up to catch her. She gets inside and this clerk comes over all smiles and eager to get a fat commission. She just lamps him right in the face, doesn’t even slow down at all, just hits him full force and he goes right down cradling his broken nose. She disappears into the back room and, just as I get inside the showroom, she comes back out holding a few sets of car keys. This time I grabbed her to get her attention.
‘What the Hell, lady?! I don’t know what’s wrong with you but—‘
‘Get the Hell out of my way! There are a bunch of guys after me and I’ll be damned if they catch me because of some grease-ball like you!’
‘You owe me for my car!’
She says ‘On me. You like blue or red?’ and points to these two Jaguar XKRs, one in blue, the other in red. It's a nice looking machine, a little bulky for my tastes but definitely attractive. I ask for the blue one and she tosses me a key before going over to the red one. By now I’m captivated. A gorgeous girl just smashed into me then ran off, decked some guy without thinking and then steals a couple of high-end Jags? Pretty sure this is what love feels like.
I say ‘Hey, what’s your name?’
She looks at me as she opens her car door and says ‘Liz. Liz Mareen.’ I try to tell her to call me Bank but the slam of her door cuts me off. I jump into my new car and get it started up. The noise from the engine is like music but it’s interrupted by the sound of shattered glass as Liz drives right through the showroom window. I get into gear and set off behind her because I want to know more about her and I can’t let her get away. That was when five guys riding motorbikes shoot by after her.
What can I say, I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress. I get moving, racing up behind these bikers and Liz turns onto that main road I was telling you about, the steep hill. Those guys better know how to handle those bikes out here. Putting your foot down while on this hill is asking for trouble. You get gravity trying to drive your car for you while your engine is firing off and powering you down towards the Earth below. The slightest little nudge could spell disaster. The first biker I catch up to learns this the hard way.
I move just a little bit too close for comfort then move a little bit closer. The front corner of my car gently taps the back of his bike and within a few seconds the bike is flipping away across the road and the poor sap is rolling down the hill praying that someone saves him from being flattened by the bus coming the other way. I speed up to catch the rest of them. They’re all wearing these gaudy vests with some gang sign on the back. The Dogs. Now what would a two-bit street crew like The Dogs be wanting with a girl like Liz?
I look ahead to see what she’s doing just as a stream of silvery objects fall out of her driver side window. The sun catches on them as they scatter over the road, making them look like little stars or something poetic like that. I don’t know, I was never very good with words. Point is the first biker goes over them, his tyres burst like they had a stick of dynamite in them, and he falls from the bike. Two more of them follow by example and get taken out of the race but the last biker swerves past them, keeps his front tyre from popping but just catches his back one.
He starts swerving all over the place as I rock the wheel and give the scattered spikes as wide a berth as possible. Despite the spikes this biker guy is hanging in there. We’re coming to the bottom of the hill and if this guy can’t get his bike turned at this speed then he’s going off and into the sea. Liz seems to think he won’t make it because she starts to slow down and brings herself to a stop just by the barrier on the cliff edge. The biker tries to turn himself towards her but there’s torn rubber flapping around behind him and he’s losing control with each second. He can’t get it handled and smashes right through the flimsy barrier and goes flying over the cliff like a bullet.
I pull up next to Liz and step out of my car. She’s watching the biker fall as I get out and stand beside her.
‘You think he’ll be ok?’ she says with no tone of concern at all.
‘I’m sure he’ll be fine,’ I say to her a moment before we hear an explosion from the bottom of the cliff. ‘Yep, completely fine. With the way you made those guys spin out like that we should start calling you Liz Careen.’ I take a pair of sunglasses out of my pocket and slip them on. The sun is too bright for my liking.
She scoffs at my joke, trying to pretend she didn’t find it hilarious, and goes to get back into her car. ‘Hey,’ I call to her and she waits. ‘You gonna tell me why those Dogs were chasing you?’
She smiles at me with this mischievous glint in her eye. ‘Tell you what. If you catch me, I’ll tell you all about it.’ Her engine roars into life and she speeds off just as I get into my car to give chase. I can never resist a tease like that.
Egregious:
Dragged
Thwump!
It was stupid. She normally would have cried out upon hitting her head like that. But she was so disoriented that all she could do was flail around like a beached carp.
“Lizzie? You still with me?” Evan asked from the swirl of soft amber light above her. The pretense that she had been paying attention had evaporated.
“Unnngh...” Elizabeth said. She was hoping that a succinct excuse would emerge to redirect attention to the matter at hand. Instead, her social veneer had ripped away like an old band-aid, exposing the ugly truth.
Evan reached over the edge of the bed to help her up. “Are you okay? Do you want ice?”
“No, no,” Elizabeth said. “It’s fine. Sorry. Carry on.”
“What happened?”
“I guess I just dozed off. Hit the floor.” So suave, Elizabeth thought. Hit the floor? What an elegant turn of phrase.
“Really?” He took his eyes off the soft, round pillow he was holding to scan Elizabeth’s face. “I hope it doesn’t bruise.”
“It will,” she sighed. “Please, carry on.”
“Alright. So my instinct is telling me that this ‘rustic cherry’ is the best fit for this room, but you know, I just don’t like it. Now this one,” Evan continued, tossing the red pillow aside in favor of a blue one, “This ‘Prussian navy’ color just speaks to me, but when I put it up against the bedspread, it feels wrong. Don’t you think?”
Elizabeth wanted to stay awake. She owed Evan this much and more, but her head was starting to sag again. She rocked back and forth senselessly, head throbbing.
“Mmhm,” she said, eyes closed.
“You know what?” Evan said. “We can continue this another day. It’s really not that important. I’ll make Paolo help instead!”
And, she blew it. Once more, she had been less of a friend than Evan deserved. “No...”
“Hmm?”
“Paolo doesn’t get it. He’d pick the blue one.” The pain was getting progressively worse.
“So you’d go with ‘rustic cherry’?”
“Look Evan,” Elizabeth said. Her pain was keeping her from the brink of situation-inappropriate sleep. “You can have the blue pillow or the gold-patterned bedspread, but not both.”
Evan looked toward the pillow that he was clutching, sympathetic to its beauty but repulsed by the vulgar dullness of its color under the lighting. “You’re right. It has to be red. But let’s call it a day so you can sleep.”
How mortifying. “I need to cash my paycheck,” Elizabeth said. “I forgot to earlier, and I could really use it right now.”
Evan got up and began rummaging through a drawer in his nightstand. “Oh no. I won’t let you drive like this. You’ll crash into something, E-liz-I-bet-you-can’t-drive!” He found his sunglasses and put them on, cackling. Elizabeth wanted to disparage his pathetic pun, but she was working off of borrowed good fortune as it was. “I can drive you to the bank, I need to return the blue pillow anyway.”
“Really, it’s fine,” Elizabeth said. Her tone betrayed her.
“Lizzie, come on. I’ll go get ready.” Evan disappeared through the doorway. “Never mind about the sunglasses – damn rain!” he called from the other room.
Elizabeth stumbled out of Evan and Paolo’s uncomfortably comfortable bedroom and collapsed onto an unyielding white couch. She found its clean edges and icy chrome tint soothing.
Evan set a glass of water and some ibuprofen on the angular ottoman in front of her. “You might want these.” Elizabeth took the pills. The cold water plunged deep into her gut.
“You’re going to need this too.” Evan handed her an umbrella.
“Of course I do,” Elizabeth sighed.
---
Elizabeth stared out the rain-streaked window. The dull, utilitarian steel and glass of the city reflected back faint shadows of the umbrella-wielding suits walking the streets. A fender bender had blocked the intersection on Main Street, so Evan took a detour through the dingier part of town.
Elizabeth could not remember a day in Coast City when it didn’t rain. Never. There were a few days, when there was just enough sun to burn away the fog before the clouds gathered overhead. But it never lasted.
“Is that ibuprofen helping yet?” Evan asked.
Elizabeth’s head was still throbbing. “No, it’s fine. Thanks, Evan.” She glanced at the rearview mirror and saw a tiny old woman walking about a dozen dogs of varying sizes.
Evan gracefully braked for the red stoplight. “Lizzie, you don’t have to worry. I know how boring redecorating is. We can do something fun this week-end to make up for it!”
She was too tired to lie about it. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me to think about pillows today,” Elizabeth said. The woman with the dogs was getting closer now. Elizabeth watched them approach along the grimy sidewalk, paws splattering flecks of dirty water with each step.
The light was still red. “I understand,” Evan said. “It’s hard to believe it’s been a year.”
“And you were there for me every day,” Elizabeth said. “And I can’t even get it together long enough to help you pick out a pillow.” Suddenly, the pack of dogs broke into a run. A man was walking his dog on the other side of the street, exciting the pack. The older woman was dragged forward at an astonishing speed. Elizabeth realized that the woman hadn’t been walking the dogs at all - the dogs had been walking her the whole time.
“...you hear me?” Evan was saying. Elizabeth took her eyes from the scene to pay attention. “I mean, none of it really matters...” The man across the street fled. This excited the dogs further, and Elizabeth could see foamy gobbets of saliva break from their greedy lips as they rushed past. “...I hate it actually. But everyone expects Paolo and I to have this beautiful, fashionable house. I mean, a ‘burnt cherry’ pillow? Utter bull****. Look, you don’t owe me anything.”
Except he was wrong. It had been exactly a year since she showed up at his and Paolo’s house, bruised and battered, her broken nose bleeding everywhere. He helped her file the police report, the divorce papers. But it was more than that. When her other “friends” stayed silent, Evan spoke the truth. And that made all the difference in the world.
The light turned green, and Evan continued driving through the veins of Coast City. The older woman and her captors melted into the gray haze behind them.
---
“I have some checks I need to deposit anyway,” Evan said. Elizabeth got out of the car carefully, shielding herself with the umbrella Evan had loaned to her.
On her way through the door, Elizabeth glanced at the cornerstone. “Coast City Bank, Est. 1923.” She had no doubt that it would outlive her. After all, she thought, life is temporary. Banking is permanent.
There was nothing quite like waiting in line at a bank to make Elizabeth introspective. The tellers were slow and hated the customers. Elizabeth didn’t blame them. The people in line were at best, dull and sour-faced, and at worst, angry and ready to take it out on the tellers. People like Elizabeth’s ex-husband always had something to blame on someone else.
The red-haired teller was on the phone getting an earful about something that had no relevance to the older man complaining about his transaction in front of her. How pathetic they all are, Elizabeth thought. These powerless people turning to ***holes because they sense someone weaker. They’re no better than-
Elizabeth never had a chance to finish her comparison because of the man who had just fired a bullet into the ceiling.
“Get down! This is a stick-up!” he shouted. Great, Elizabeth thought. Here’s some other ***hole trying to feel powerful.
“Lizzie, get down!” Evan said. She wasn’t paying any attention.
“Everyone get the **** down!” the thief yelled. “That means you, lady!” Elizabeth realized that he was talking about her. Everyone else had hit the ground. The tellers, the old man, Evan, everyone.
“Me?” Elizabeth asked. “You want me to get down?”
“Are you ****ing deaf? I will shoot you!” To emphasize his point, he shot into the ceiling again. Some plaster powder bled from the opening.
“Do what he says, lady!” the old man cried from the ground. “You crazy?”
“Just so we’re perfectly clear here,” Elizabeth said, “you want me to get on the ground?”
“Yes! You dumb ****!”
“So wait,” Elizabeth began. “Today you just woke up and thought, ‘To hell with it all! My dead end job isn’t paying **** anymore, so my only option left is to go shoot up a bank and go out in a blaze of self-righteous glory, knowing that the system was always against me and I had no outs!’ You are such a ****ing ***hole!”
“Lizzie, stop it!” Evan said. “This isn’t the time!”
Elizabeth walked right up to the bank robber.
“Stay back!” the robber yelled, gun wavering. “Stay back or I’ll shoot!”
“My regards from the ceiling,” Lizzie said. “And the bank is going to have to spend a fortune fixing that, jack***!”
“I’m going to...” the would-be robber began, but the gun fell from his nerveless hand. It discharged and shattered one of the sliding glass doors. Someone screamed. Elizabeth snatched the gun off the floor and pointed it back at him.
“Get the hell out of here,” Elizabeth said. She shot the granite counter next to him. He ran over the sea of broken glass out the front door of the bank, where he got run down by a pack of barking dogs.
“Elizabeth, your turn!” Evan said.
“What?”
Elizabeth jerked back to consciousness. Evan was looking back at her with a half-grin. “Did you fall asleep standing up?”
Elizabeth looked around. There was no broken glass, no gun, and no robber. She was disappointed.
“Hurry up!” came a shrill female voice from behind her. “I haven’t got all day!”
As Elizabeth walked up to the teller to deposit her paycheck, she wondered if she was walking anywhere at all.
No, she thought. I’m still being dragged.
Thwump!
It was stupid. She normally would have cried out upon hitting her head like that. But she was so disoriented that all she could do was flail around like a beached carp.
“Lizzie? You still with me?” Evan asked from the swirl of soft amber light above her. The pretense that she had been paying attention had evaporated.
“Unnngh...” Elizabeth said. She was hoping that a succinct excuse would emerge to redirect attention to the matter at hand. Instead, her social veneer had ripped away like an old band-aid, exposing the ugly truth.
Evan reached over the edge of the bed to help her up. “Are you okay? Do you want ice?”
“No, no,” Elizabeth said. “It’s fine. Sorry. Carry on.”
“What happened?”
“I guess I just dozed off. Hit the floor.” So suave, Elizabeth thought. Hit the floor? What an elegant turn of phrase.
“Really?” He took his eyes off the soft, round pillow he was holding to scan Elizabeth’s face. “I hope it doesn’t bruise.”
“It will,” she sighed. “Please, carry on.”
“Alright. So my instinct is telling me that this ‘rustic cherry’ is the best fit for this room, but you know, I just don’t like it. Now this one,” Evan continued, tossing the red pillow aside in favor of a blue one, “This ‘Prussian navy’ color just speaks to me, but when I put it up against the bedspread, it feels wrong. Don’t you think?”
Elizabeth wanted to stay awake. She owed Evan this much and more, but her head was starting to sag again. She rocked back and forth senselessly, head throbbing.
“Mmhm,” she said, eyes closed.
“You know what?” Evan said. “We can continue this another day. It’s really not that important. I’ll make Paolo help instead!”
And, she blew it. Once more, she had been less of a friend than Evan deserved. “No...”
“Hmm?”
“Paolo doesn’t get it. He’d pick the blue one.” The pain was getting progressively worse.
“So you’d go with ‘rustic cherry’?”
“Look Evan,” Elizabeth said. Her pain was keeping her from the brink of situation-inappropriate sleep. “You can have the blue pillow or the gold-patterned bedspread, but not both.”
Evan looked toward the pillow that he was clutching, sympathetic to its beauty but repulsed by the vulgar dullness of its color under the lighting. “You’re right. It has to be red. But let’s call it a day so you can sleep.”
How mortifying. “I need to cash my paycheck,” Elizabeth said. “I forgot to earlier, and I could really use it right now.”
Evan got up and began rummaging through a drawer in his nightstand. “Oh no. I won’t let you drive like this. You’ll crash into something, E-liz-I-bet-you-can’t-drive!” He found his sunglasses and put them on, cackling. Elizabeth wanted to disparage his pathetic pun, but she was working off of borrowed good fortune as it was. “I can drive you to the bank, I need to return the blue pillow anyway.”
“Really, it’s fine,” Elizabeth said. Her tone betrayed her.
“Lizzie, come on. I’ll go get ready.” Evan disappeared through the doorway. “Never mind about the sunglasses – damn rain!” he called from the other room.
Elizabeth stumbled out of Evan and Paolo’s uncomfortably comfortable bedroom and collapsed onto an unyielding white couch. She found its clean edges and icy chrome tint soothing.
Evan set a glass of water and some ibuprofen on the angular ottoman in front of her. “You might want these.” Elizabeth took the pills. The cold water plunged deep into her gut.
“You’re going to need this too.” Evan handed her an umbrella.
“Of course I do,” Elizabeth sighed.
---
Elizabeth stared out the rain-streaked window. The dull, utilitarian steel and glass of the city reflected back faint shadows of the umbrella-wielding suits walking the streets. A fender bender had blocked the intersection on Main Street, so Evan took a detour through the dingier part of town.
Elizabeth could not remember a day in Coast City when it didn’t rain. Never. There were a few days, when there was just enough sun to burn away the fog before the clouds gathered overhead. But it never lasted.
“Is that ibuprofen helping yet?” Evan asked.
Elizabeth’s head was still throbbing. “No, it’s fine. Thanks, Evan.” She glanced at the rearview mirror and saw a tiny old woman walking about a dozen dogs of varying sizes.
Evan gracefully braked for the red stoplight. “Lizzie, you don’t have to worry. I know how boring redecorating is. We can do something fun this week-end to make up for it!”
She was too tired to lie about it. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me to think about pillows today,” Elizabeth said. The woman with the dogs was getting closer now. Elizabeth watched them approach along the grimy sidewalk, paws splattering flecks of dirty water with each step.
The light was still red. “I understand,” Evan said. “It’s hard to believe it’s been a year.”
“And you were there for me every day,” Elizabeth said. “And I can’t even get it together long enough to help you pick out a pillow.” Suddenly, the pack of dogs broke into a run. A man was walking his dog on the other side of the street, exciting the pack. The older woman was dragged forward at an astonishing speed. Elizabeth realized that the woman hadn’t been walking the dogs at all - the dogs had been walking her the whole time.
“...you hear me?” Evan was saying. Elizabeth took her eyes from the scene to pay attention. “I mean, none of it really matters...” The man across the street fled. This excited the dogs further, and Elizabeth could see foamy gobbets of saliva break from their greedy lips as they rushed past. “...I hate it actually. But everyone expects Paolo and I to have this beautiful, fashionable house. I mean, a ‘burnt cherry’ pillow? Utter bull****. Look, you don’t owe me anything.”
Except he was wrong. It had been exactly a year since she showed up at his and Paolo’s house, bruised and battered, her broken nose bleeding everywhere. He helped her file the police report, the divorce papers. But it was more than that. When her other “friends” stayed silent, Evan spoke the truth. And that made all the difference in the world.
The light turned green, and Evan continued driving through the veins of Coast City. The older woman and her captors melted into the gray haze behind them.
---
“I have some checks I need to deposit anyway,” Evan said. Elizabeth got out of the car carefully, shielding herself with the umbrella Evan had loaned to her.
On her way through the door, Elizabeth glanced at the cornerstone. “Coast City Bank, Est. 1923.” She had no doubt that it would outlive her. After all, she thought, life is temporary. Banking is permanent.
There was nothing quite like waiting in line at a bank to make Elizabeth introspective. The tellers were slow and hated the customers. Elizabeth didn’t blame them. The people in line were at best, dull and sour-faced, and at worst, angry and ready to take it out on the tellers. People like Elizabeth’s ex-husband always had something to blame on someone else.
The red-haired teller was on the phone getting an earful about something that had no relevance to the older man complaining about his transaction in front of her. How pathetic they all are, Elizabeth thought. These powerless people turning to ***holes because they sense someone weaker. They’re no better than-
Elizabeth never had a chance to finish her comparison because of the man who had just fired a bullet into the ceiling.
“Get down! This is a stick-up!” he shouted. Great, Elizabeth thought. Here’s some other ***hole trying to feel powerful.
“Lizzie, get down!” Evan said. She wasn’t paying any attention.
“Everyone get the **** down!” the thief yelled. “That means you, lady!” Elizabeth realized that he was talking about her. Everyone else had hit the ground. The tellers, the old man, Evan, everyone.
“Me?” Elizabeth asked. “You want me to get down?”
“Are you ****ing deaf? I will shoot you!” To emphasize his point, he shot into the ceiling again. Some plaster powder bled from the opening.
“Do what he says, lady!” the old man cried from the ground. “You crazy?”
“Just so we’re perfectly clear here,” Elizabeth said, “you want me to get on the ground?”
“Yes! You dumb ****!”
“So wait,” Elizabeth began. “Today you just woke up and thought, ‘To hell with it all! My dead end job isn’t paying **** anymore, so my only option left is to go shoot up a bank and go out in a blaze of self-righteous glory, knowing that the system was always against me and I had no outs!’ You are such a ****ing ***hole!”
“Lizzie, stop it!” Evan said. “This isn’t the time!”
Elizabeth walked right up to the bank robber.
“Stay back!” the robber yelled, gun wavering. “Stay back or I’ll shoot!”
“My regards from the ceiling,” Lizzie said. “And the bank is going to have to spend a fortune fixing that, jack***!”
“I’m going to...” the would-be robber began, but the gun fell from his nerveless hand. It discharged and shattered one of the sliding glass doors. Someone screamed. Elizabeth snatched the gun off the floor and pointed it back at him.
“Get the hell out of here,” Elizabeth said. She shot the granite counter next to him. He ran over the sea of broken glass out the front door of the bank, where he got run down by a pack of barking dogs.
“Elizabeth, your turn!” Evan said.
“What?”
Elizabeth jerked back to consciousness. Evan was looking back at her with a half-grin. “Did you fall asleep standing up?”
Elizabeth looked around. There was no broken glass, no gun, and no robber. She was disappointed.
“Hurry up!” came a shrill female voice from behind her. “I haven’t got all day!”
As Elizabeth walked up to the teller to deposit her paycheck, she wondered if she was walking anywhere at all.
No, she thought. I’m still being dragged.
Gobli:
The Choice
The Jewelry store at the end of the street had always seemed creepy to Elizabeth Mareen. Every time that she had passed by walking over the boardwalk, she would shiver badly. Not at some of the bizarre jewels or the high prices found on the tags of some of them, but due to the store’s outer design.
It was not a modern looking store as the others found on the block. Elizabeth could not understand why the city was so modernized and up to date, and not a lone jewelry store, which apparently had kept the same design ever since its construction many years ago. How old the building was, she had wondered several times. She had not known exactly, but she’d guessed that it had to be more than a century at least. The walls were made up of pure, old black wood, with the majority of them already holding many holes and showing graffiti designs and cuss words that some punks had drawn upon them. If anything, the graffiti made the store appear modern. As to the roof, it probably was what gave the jewelry store that spine-chilling look. It was triangular in design, just like any normal house; with the same old wooden material having been used on it as well, but the ends on all four sides curved into what appeared to Elizabeth as dark horns.
Anyway, Elizabeth was a clerk at a local, busy gas store in Coast City. She was four months pregnant and married to a handsome man, and it happened that his birthday was nearing. Elizabeth had kept that very well in mind, but she had no idea what she would give her special loved one when that day came. That day was two days away, and she still had no clue what to get him.
Her husband loved pendants, so that is what Elizabeth had agreed with herself to buy him. On the day of her husband’s birthday, which happened to be a Wednesday, there was bad weather going on, and so the city was experiencing an awful thunder storm. Elizabeth had had in mind going to another jewelry store that was located in the heart of the city and far from her job. The storm, however, was not going to allow her to walk there, and Elizabeth had never been a fan of taxis because she had always enjoyed walking to and from work. There was no other option, she would actually have to go to that creepy jewelry store and get her shopping done there, and then she would go home. Holding an umbrella that she had brought from home, she walked all the way to that creepy jewelry store having in mind to enter and buy the gift and then get the hell out of there.
Just having approached the store made her shiver badly, but Elizabeth would not go home without having bought the gift for her husband. When she touched the wooden, old door’s knob, she got goosebumps and shivered again, but she walked inside.
The ambient was dark within the store, and there were no other clients at that time, save for the attendant, whom Elizabeth noticed was behind a counter, his or her back showing to her. All Elizabeth could see of the figure was a white mane under a dark hat.
“Good day, sir,” she called out as she slowly approached the counter.
The figure turned around, and Elizabeth recoiled when her eyes noticed that the figure was a gauntly-looking, old man.
“May I help you, young lady?” he asked in a very deep voice, his lips curling into a weird smile that made Elizabeth shiver, more than the creepy voice had. Before she could answer, he began to tap the counter with the thin, crooked fingers of one of his hands. Elizabeth noted several weird tattoos that he had on his hand but said nothing, instead, she nodded at him and understood that the faster she took care of buying a pendant, the better.
“Yes, I am here to purchase one of your winged pendants.”
“Ah,” the thin man smiled sinisterly, at least to Elizabeth’s reasoning. “Those caught your eye, did they?”
Elizabeth did not speak right away, but she did nod at the man and said, “Yes, they look pretty. But the one I want to buy is not for me, it’s for my husband. It’s his birthday.”
There were a series of thunderclaps above, and the man stared upward, as did Elizabeth, for the thunderclaps had been powerful and noisy that it even had startled them and the many items in the store.
The old man nodded at the girl, and then he walked in a limping kind of way from behind the counter and toward the area where the featured pendants were set. Elizabeth, not really wanting to, followed him. The man grabbed two of them, and then, without showing them to the woman, walked back to the counter. He put them on display there, and Elizabeth took a better look at them.
The pendants had the form of a jeweled heart, but with spread wings on each side. One heart was red, and the other one was blue. Now that she had a closer look, it seemed to her as if the hearts were beating, or at least vibrating. The man noted the surprise on the woman’s face and smiled.
“These are our most rare items, to be honest,” explained the man.
“Yes, I can see why,” Elizabeth suddenly made a move and grabbed a hold of the pendants, the woman surely in awe at the beating hearts. “They are most beautiful.”
The man kept his mischievous smile on, and he appeared to be satisfied that the woman had touched the pendants.
“Ah, it seems then that fate brought you here.”
“Eh?” Elizabeth looked from the pendants to the man.
He laughed evilly, the lack of light within the store making his face seem wicked. “You were meant to touch them, Elizabeth,” he told her, grinning. “That is why you are here. You were meant to buy one. And now, you have two choices before you.”
“Choices?” Elizabeth croaked. “What are you talking about?”
“One of the pendants carries life,” the man said. “The other one carries death. Whichever you choose, something will happen in your life. And before you say anything else, I am not lying.”
Elizabeth became tense, and she thought about putting the pendants on the counter and just exit the store, but the next words of the man shocked her.
“If you do that, if you put the items on my counter and leave, you will die for refusing to choose one. You can’t remain neutral after you’ve touched them.”
“Hey, old man, I just came to buy a pendant, not to listen to silly old stories.”
“Then buy one,” the old man grumbled and seemed upset all of a sudden. “And get the hell out of my store.”
Elizabeth wanted to leave now, but she had upset the man. Buying one of the pendants at least would settle him down, and besides, she had not come here just to get spooked and leave empty handed.
“I liked the red hearted one,” she said, grabbing at her purse. “I will be taking that one.”
The man grabbed the blue one and pocketed it. Elizabeth, surely wanting to get out of there, threw 500 dollars on the counter.
“Thank you for your business,” the old man smiled sinisterly at her. “Now leave because it’s close to closing time.”
He did not need to tell Elizabeth twice. She grabbed the pendant, gave the man a nod in thanks, and then rushed out of the store.
As she glanced up at the stormy sky, Elizabeth noticed that the storm’s force had passed, though light rain still fell, but she would be able to walk back home without any fear of lightning or high winds. Feeling happy that she would soon be with her husband and give him the beautiful pendant, the woman began to walk away.
It happened, though, that she had chosen the pendant that carried death with it, and so a street up ahead, she was run over by a speeding car that was being driven by some drunken *******. The car crashed into the building that Elizabeth had been walking by.
The driver survived, but Elizabeth died that day, and the jewelry store did not open for business for several days, until its owner, one of death’s many attendants, perceived that another victim would make his way in there.
The end
The Jewelry store at the end of the street had always seemed creepy to Elizabeth Mareen. Every time that she had passed by walking over the boardwalk, she would shiver badly. Not at some of the bizarre jewels or the high prices found on the tags of some of them, but due to the store’s outer design.
It was not a modern looking store as the others found on the block. Elizabeth could not understand why the city was so modernized and up to date, and not a lone jewelry store, which apparently had kept the same design ever since its construction many years ago. How old the building was, she had wondered several times. She had not known exactly, but she’d guessed that it had to be more than a century at least. The walls were made up of pure, old black wood, with the majority of them already holding many holes and showing graffiti designs and cuss words that some punks had drawn upon them. If anything, the graffiti made the store appear modern. As to the roof, it probably was what gave the jewelry store that spine-chilling look. It was triangular in design, just like any normal house; with the same old wooden material having been used on it as well, but the ends on all four sides curved into what appeared to Elizabeth as dark horns.
Anyway, Elizabeth was a clerk at a local, busy gas store in Coast City. She was four months pregnant and married to a handsome man, and it happened that his birthday was nearing. Elizabeth had kept that very well in mind, but she had no idea what she would give her special loved one when that day came. That day was two days away, and she still had no clue what to get him.
Her husband loved pendants, so that is what Elizabeth had agreed with herself to buy him. On the day of her husband’s birthday, which happened to be a Wednesday, there was bad weather going on, and so the city was experiencing an awful thunder storm. Elizabeth had had in mind going to another jewelry store that was located in the heart of the city and far from her job. The storm, however, was not going to allow her to walk there, and Elizabeth had never been a fan of taxis because she had always enjoyed walking to and from work. There was no other option, she would actually have to go to that creepy jewelry store and get her shopping done there, and then she would go home. Holding an umbrella that she had brought from home, she walked all the way to that creepy jewelry store having in mind to enter and buy the gift and then get the hell out of there.
Just having approached the store made her shiver badly, but Elizabeth would not go home without having bought the gift for her husband. When she touched the wooden, old door’s knob, she got goosebumps and shivered again, but she walked inside.
The ambient was dark within the store, and there were no other clients at that time, save for the attendant, whom Elizabeth noticed was behind a counter, his or her back showing to her. All Elizabeth could see of the figure was a white mane under a dark hat.
“Good day, sir,” she called out as she slowly approached the counter.
The figure turned around, and Elizabeth recoiled when her eyes noticed that the figure was a gauntly-looking, old man.
“May I help you, young lady?” he asked in a very deep voice, his lips curling into a weird smile that made Elizabeth shiver, more than the creepy voice had. Before she could answer, he began to tap the counter with the thin, crooked fingers of one of his hands. Elizabeth noted several weird tattoos that he had on his hand but said nothing, instead, she nodded at him and understood that the faster she took care of buying a pendant, the better.
“Yes, I am here to purchase one of your winged pendants.”
“Ah,” the thin man smiled sinisterly, at least to Elizabeth’s reasoning. “Those caught your eye, did they?”
Elizabeth did not speak right away, but she did nod at the man and said, “Yes, they look pretty. But the one I want to buy is not for me, it’s for my husband. It’s his birthday.”
There were a series of thunderclaps above, and the man stared upward, as did Elizabeth, for the thunderclaps had been powerful and noisy that it even had startled them and the many items in the store.
The old man nodded at the girl, and then he walked in a limping kind of way from behind the counter and toward the area where the featured pendants were set. Elizabeth, not really wanting to, followed him. The man grabbed two of them, and then, without showing them to the woman, walked back to the counter. He put them on display there, and Elizabeth took a better look at them.
The pendants had the form of a jeweled heart, but with spread wings on each side. One heart was red, and the other one was blue. Now that she had a closer look, it seemed to her as if the hearts were beating, or at least vibrating. The man noted the surprise on the woman’s face and smiled.
“These are our most rare items, to be honest,” explained the man.
“Yes, I can see why,” Elizabeth suddenly made a move and grabbed a hold of the pendants, the woman surely in awe at the beating hearts. “They are most beautiful.”
The man kept his mischievous smile on, and he appeared to be satisfied that the woman had touched the pendants.
“Ah, it seems then that fate brought you here.”
“Eh?” Elizabeth looked from the pendants to the man.
He laughed evilly, the lack of light within the store making his face seem wicked. “You were meant to touch them, Elizabeth,” he told her, grinning. “That is why you are here. You were meant to buy one. And now, you have two choices before you.”
“Choices?” Elizabeth croaked. “What are you talking about?”
“One of the pendants carries life,” the man said. “The other one carries death. Whichever you choose, something will happen in your life. And before you say anything else, I am not lying.”
Elizabeth became tense, and she thought about putting the pendants on the counter and just exit the store, but the next words of the man shocked her.
“If you do that, if you put the items on my counter and leave, you will die for refusing to choose one. You can’t remain neutral after you’ve touched them.”
“Hey, old man, I just came to buy a pendant, not to listen to silly old stories.”
“Then buy one,” the old man grumbled and seemed upset all of a sudden. “And get the hell out of my store.”
Elizabeth wanted to leave now, but she had upset the man. Buying one of the pendants at least would settle him down, and besides, she had not come here just to get spooked and leave empty handed.
“I liked the red hearted one,” she said, grabbing at her purse. “I will be taking that one.”
The man grabbed the blue one and pocketed it. Elizabeth, surely wanting to get out of there, threw 500 dollars on the counter.
“Thank you for your business,” the old man smiled sinisterly at her. “Now leave because it’s close to closing time.”
He did not need to tell Elizabeth twice. She grabbed the pendant, gave the man a nod in thanks, and then rushed out of the store.
As she glanced up at the stormy sky, Elizabeth noticed that the storm’s force had passed, though light rain still fell, but she would be able to walk back home without any fear of lightning or high winds. Feeling happy that she would soon be with her husband and give him the beautiful pendant, the woman began to walk away.
It happened, though, that she had chosen the pendant that carried death with it, and so a street up ahead, she was run over by a speeding car that was being driven by some drunken *******. The car crashed into the building that Elizabeth had been walking by.
The driver survived, but Elizabeth died that day, and the jewelry store did not open for business for several days, until its owner, one of death’s many attendants, perceived that another victim would make his way in there.
The end
But I had to make a choice, as sadly as it is always the case with contests like this one. I went with Cfrok's because that's really the one I enjoyed the most. 
But the other two deserve some glory too, they were all great stories. And mine, well, I can't really speak about my own stuff, lol. 
