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General Art The Little Waterbender [PG] Adventure

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.
The Little Waterbender [PG] Adventure (Fanfic)

It's finally ready. This is the story I have been toiling with since December to create. Because ZD is a very important forum to me and I only know so few of you that go to Deviantart, you guys get my story a little earlier than both Fanfiction.net and Deviantart. I hope you all enjoy this prologue.



At sea, a ship is forging a path through great waves to places where one forgets oneself. Its course is uncertain, but the crew is merry with high spirits. The melodies of sea shanties ring from their lungs. Their eyes glimmered with the lust for romance and adventure. They go to places far from the briny shore they one knew, with a cheerful wind charting the way.

Amidst all this cheer and laughter was a young prince staring off into the distance. He was sour, and unsatisfied with his life. He had hoped that a trip to sea would kindle his fretful sprit and relieve him of his stress. Still, the lingering thoughts of duty only beret him with more anguish, and the songs of the sailors only reminded him of how different he was.

I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue,
And it's hey to the starboard heave ho!
Great sailor beware cause a biggun's a brewing.
In Mysterious Fathoms Below!

In those great deeps Below!
We know!
Where once wayward westerlies blow!
Where the merpeople sing.
In the blue hear them ring,
In mysterious fathoms below!​

"Hogwash and children stories!" The prince's right eye flicked with annoyance while the eye to his left kept a motionless expression that never changed. For on his left eye bore a great scar around it, absorbing half his face.

"Come now Prince Zuko," said an old man walking towards the young prince. "That's no way to be on your birthday." The man, stood out as a complete opposite of the rash prince. His eyes were relaxed and his face widened with a smile. His stomach protruded outwards and stretched out his clothing.

"I cannot help it Uncle Iroh! How can I relax? When I have this nautical nonsense of merpeople ringing in my ears!?"

"Ahoy," cried a sailor mopping the deck. "Don't be acting as if ye be ashore lad. The marine is a dream beyond anything ya seen on land. It be the domain of the great Queen Kya!"

"Kya?" Zuko's eyebrow raised itself high in defiance and skepticism.

"She be the ruler of the merfolk and the order of the sea, you young mustang! Tell 'im boys!"


I'll sing you a song of the queen of the Sea,
And it's hey to the starboard heave ho!
The ruler of all of the oceans is she,
in mysterious fathoms below.

It's where she makes it all
beckon to her call.
The winds to lead.
The geysers' heat.
The earth to feed.
The waves to beat.
Heave Ho, Fathoms Below!​

Zuko was unconvinced, the story seemed too farfetched for him to grasp. "Bah, this Kya is nothing more than a sailor's farce lies!"

"Don't ever say that lad," growled the sailor. "Unless ye want to suffer..."

Sailor: The Queen of the Ocean gets angry,
and when she is angry beware.
I'm telling ya lad,
when Queen Kya is mad.
How the waves will rock!
Rock to and fro!
All: Hold on, good luck as down you'll go!
Straight to the endless bottom you see.
And it's hey to the starboard heave ho!
So watch your tongue or it's down for ye,
In mysterious fathoms below!​

When the last note fell so too did a crack of lightning in the distance. A storm brewed far away from the ship, and was heading the opposite way of the ship. Its eerie presence seemed drawn the lyrics of the song. The storm passed away from sight soon enough, and everyone on deck of the ship breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ya see lad?", cried the sailor. "It ain't no nonsense, it's the truth! There's a whole world of merpeople under the sea."

One sailor cried, "Queen Kya's the ruler!"

Another one said, "She's got seven fair daughters."

But a final one said, "And an enemy named Azula."

That word had caught Zuko's ear, sending an unnatural shiver down his spine. "Azula?"

The yellow toothed sailor grinned and pointed out to the sea. "She's an ancient enemy of Kya who delved in forbidden magics. She lives down below, exiled from the kingdom of merfolk with her four minions, Mai, Flame, Spark, and Ty Lee. Now they wait, for the hour to strike, when Kya is at her most vulnerable, and should Azula take the crown for herself lad, we are all doomed..."

Sailor: Fathoms Below in the Ocean,
Lives Azula, witch of the Sea.
She Plots,
she schemes,
and she wickedly dreams
of victory under the sea.

Her wrath is mighty.
Her foes, they tremble.
Her mind is haughty.
Herself, terrible!

And she waits, waits,
for the day that she'll return once more.
All: Return to rule the ocean floor!
She wants to be queen of the bottomless blue,
And it's hey to the starboard heave ho!
So Kya beware, cause YOUR biggun's a brewing,
in Mysterious Fathoms Below!

As the ship sailed off, so too did the song die away, leaving nothing of its entrance, but the ripples on the waves.

Could such a world exist? A world under the ocean waves, where there are people with the torsos of human and the fins of fish? Could there be such a world that has laid hidden for so long, previously unexplored by mortal men?

As the sailor said, this is not land anymore. The rules have changed to match the mystery of the ocean. Abandon the perception of reality that controls everyday thought, and be transported to an adventure, under the sea and above the waves. A tale of friendship, love, and dreams is about to be witnessed , and it awaits its spectators.

-----

Stay tuned for Thursday when Chapter one is released and the characters make their way onto the screen in The Misfit Princess!
 
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Jedizora

:right:
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Thats good. Its nice to finally see this,, and I remember you premotional posters. I remember when the release date was in march.
 

MikauIncarnate

Hero of the Zora
Joined
Nov 5, 2010
Location
U.S.
Heh. Heh. I like how you used "fathoms below" but you added your own verses. Quite cool. The only verse I'm not sure what the melody is is:

Her wrath is mighty.
Her foes, they tremble.
Her mind is haughty.
Herself, terrible!

The other thing is some of your lines are catalectic or acatalectic, and some of them (like 'for the day that she'll return once more', if I'm placing it correctly) don't flow quite right. I'd suggest focusing more on that if you're planning on having more songs in this. Awesome so far though.
 

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.

The cover to my story as a whole.
Thank you Destikim.




The Misfit Princess

The merfolk kingdom bore neither marker, nor flag, for it was the dominant empire if the sea. It needed no symbol to represent its glory. However, if there was such a symbol, it would be the Trident. A powerful tool forged by the great spirits containing the essences of all four elements, earth, wind, fire, and air. Through it, a wielder could channel all the elements within and bend them to their whim.

It was this mighty weapon that was passed among the royalty of the merfolk kingdom. It was their weapon of justice, that if ever passed to the wrong hands could mean the end of all. Queen Kya was the current guardian of this powerful creation, using it wisely. The Trident though, was not hers to bear.

The Trident had belonged to her mate, King Hakoda, long ago, until he had been mysteriously struck down. It was then that Kya would take possession of the Trident until the day she was succeeded by her oldest son, Sokka. Until that day, she would spend her days in the palace attending to royal duties. Today though, was a special day.

Today was the day of a grand celebration. The Starlight Festival was the name. It was the time when the stars shone so bright in the sky that they would create the most wonderful beams in the water. It was a time celebrated by all merfolk, young and old and hailed as the most beautiful thing in existence.

Before the Starlight Festival there was to be a grand concert to start it off. Queen Kya had staged for it to be in the main hall of her coral palace. She had hoped that it would signal great things to come and mark glory to her kingdom. However, something happened that she hadn't expected.

It was in the confines of the palace that conflict was brewing. Screaming could be heard erupting from the rehearsal room where the daughters of Kya were getting some last minute practice for the concert. However, there was a slight problem.

"WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?", screamed a young darkened merman as he crashed his head to a pillar.

He was very upset right now because things were not going the way he wanted them to. This was understandable, as he was Sokka, son of Kya, and the royal composer. He always loved to create innovation, but what he loved the most was to create music.

He always grabbed at a chance to display his skills, whether it was politics or music. These opportunities came rarely though, despite his desperation. However, the times he did get to perform were very good. The problem though, is they could only be, "very good", this was due to his younger sister Katara.

She almost never showed up to rehearsals, which often left her stuttering during performances. She had an incredible voice though, and Sokka knew that to write her out was folly. To compensate for this forgetfulness he often let her perform vocalized, but that didn't stop her from missing performances which was more frequent than Sokka cared for.

Today was a very big day for him though. This concert was being performed to the entire kingdom, and expectations were high. The problem though, was that Katara wasn't in the palace, and she was the soloist.

"Why am I cursed to have a sister who not only fails to arrives to rehearsals but also fails to arrive on the biggest day of my bloody career? It doesn't help that she's the soloist!"

"Sokka you should try to calm down.", spoke one of his sisters.

"Calm down?! How can I calm down? Now we have to cancel the concert! I am going to be considered a laughing stock for being unable to control one girl! Not to mention how mom will react when she finds that Katara is missing!"

A voice came from the doorway. "Katara is missing?"

The voice belonged to Queen Kya. She was a slender mermaid with a very tender but strong complexion. She was the vision of serenity and sternness. Her hair was short, in the normal fashion of many merfolk, so as not to get in the way of her vision.

She ruled with a steady hand, and a compassionate heart. She loved her subjects, and treated them well. Often aiming to balance her policies so as to please everyone. This method was very strenuous on her and had built up mass anxiety. She was prone to over-reacting to many situations, mostly those involving Katara. Recently however, she has done her best to mellow herself out and reason with her daughter. The results of this are a tad varied though.

Beside her was her faithful bodyguard, Match. He was the only one there with a pair of two legs and the ability to breathe without gills. He had short, raven-like hair, and a pair of dark glasses on his face.

He never spoke of where he had come from or why he had come to the kingdom. All he ever told people was that he was not human. This was a little hard to believe at first, because of his pale skin, but when he displayed the inane ability of generating mass amounts of heat and the visage under his glasses, most skepticism died away.

He stood by Kya as a counselor and a friend. No one knew why they were so friendly to one another, but some would say it was because of something that let them relate to one another.

Right now, Kya was about ready to faint, and Match was ready to catch her. She had not anticipated that such disaster could strike, but in all honesty it should've been a tad obvious.

Katara was nowhere to be found in the kingdom. She had left the borders a few hours back on an expedition of hers that started out as only an exercise until blowing up into a full on treasure hunt. She was not hunting for gold and jewels though; rather, young Katara was searching for human objects.

Katara was a dark skinned mermaid of 18 years of age. Her hair was long and beautiful, and her eyes glimmered like the ocean blue. She was kindhearted to others, and always there to offer a helping hand.

One of her greatest traits however, was her waterbending. She was an adept at the practice, and knew how to work with her skills.

Katara had always been fascinated with humans ever since she was a little girl. Less than humans though, was that Katara loved adventures. She always enjoyed the idea of exploring new things and seeing new places. Humans were another adventure to her, and probably the most mysterious one.

So whenever Katara got the chance, she would search the seas to find human objects, using her waterbending skills to help her, and today happened to be one of her expeditions.
She had just arrived in a ship graveyard bordering her kingdom with her three companions, Toph, Suki, and Lan.

Toph was the youngest of the group, but probably the most rash. Her skin was as pale as the moon, and her fins emerald green. She wore her hair in a bob, that she decorated with a plain headband.

She was very snarky and egotistical of her skills. This was because she was a master earthbender, a task that was not easily accomplished underwater. What's more was that she was born blind, making her ascension to a master earthbender all the more impressive.

Despite being blind, Toph was able to traverse the ocean like any normal merperson. This was because of her ability to ability to listen and feel for ripples in the ocean currents. Recently she had learned how to recognize certain ripples after dedicating herself to practicing.

Toph had been a good friend to Katara, and enjoyed adventuring with her. What she didn't like though, was that Katara sometimes treated her more like a child. Of course, that attitude eventually died with time, but always managed to linger around, much to Toph's chagrin.

Lan never revealed his age, but was a very tall man. He had pale skin and short blond hair. His face sported a ridiculous square nose that led to him being the butt of many jokes, (much to his ire).

He was appointed as Katara's bodyguard by Kya when Katara was in her early teens. Though he appreciated Katara as a friend he often found himself lagging behind, being that he was not a good swimmer. He did his best to keep her under control, but often went along with her on her adventures out of curiosity.

He was Match's brother and a very adept fighter. When underwater, a lot of his skills were lacking though. He could gather around electricity and bend it to his will, but because it was water he had to do extra work so that his electricity didn't spread out and hurt others. Still, he had grown very accomplished with fighting underwater after a few years of practice.

Despite these glaring weaknesses, Katara let Lan tag along, never shrugging him away or avoiding him. He was generally harmless anyways since he never reported anything bad to her mother. Still, he did worry for Katara a lot of times, and worried about the consequences that would befall him if something happened to her.

Suki was a youthful mermaid of 21. She had tanned skin and a very developed body. Her hair was short and brown, with a small bun to the back.

Now Suki has known Katara since she was just a baby. At that time she was still a trainee with the Kyoshi warriors. As time passed, Suki found herself interacting with Katara more and more, taking an older sister role. Now she was the Captain of the Kyoshi warriors.

The Kyoshi were an elite group of fighters dedicated to serving the crown of the merfolk kingdom. This granted them special privileges with whom they could interact with.

Their fighting style mostly dealt with hand to hand combat that utilized their entire bodies to fight. They took advantage of the freedom of water to reach high extents with their movements.

Suki was the captain because of her elite skills and incredible physical prowess. This also made her very ideal when dealing with Katara's adventures as she served as the strong arm of the group. However, that role had fallen when Lan joined and Toph began to develop her earthbending.

Katara had invited them all on this adventure earlier this week, and they all happily accepted. Of course, they had all forgotten that the concert was today, but the memory constantly nagged at them. They disregarded it though, concentrating on the prize.

Katara was holding onto the mast of a ship, looking out to the distance to see if she could spot a point of interest. Suki and Toph followed quickly after.

"Hold it Katara!" They turned around to find Lan struggling to swim over to them.

"Come on Lan, hurry up." cried Toph.

"Stuff it Toph," gasped Lan as he struggled. "I am not as good a swimmer as you three."

"Well then why did you come?"

"Because I am forced to or else I get a nasty scolding for not doing my job"

"Stop arguing you two and look," said Katara. "There it is!"

She pointed to a ship in the distance. She had been waiting for a new one to fall down in the ship graveyard for some time now. All the others had been explored prior to today and this one had only recently landed down there. This discovery had led Katara to become so enamored that she had completely forgotten that the concert was today.

Katara led the way towards the wreck while the others trailed behind her. They had elected that Toph and Suki would go inside with Katara, while Lan would stay outside to watch for sharks.
They found many open portholes that they could fit through. Each one was large enough for the girls to fit through, except for Suki. She was larger than both Katara and Toph, causing her to be wedged inside. Thanks to the pushing and pulling strength of the others though, she managed to make it inside with little trouble.

Once inside, the girls took to exploring the wreck. It appeared to have been sound internally, with little to no damage on the upper decks. Bodies were littered around the ship, bloated and expressionless. None of these sights disturbed the mermaids though; dead humans were common on their many expeditions.

Katara and Suki were searching feverously for any interesting human objects to collect, while Toph simply floated in place. Though she would help with expeditions, Toph was never fond of the collecting bit considering that she couldn't see the objects. However, Toph would often help in finding places that the girls couldn't normally reach thanks to her Earthbending skills. Since she was also able to bend metal -a task only a blind individual could accomplish- she could open ways that could be blocked.

These skills came in handy when the girls needed to reach the second floor of the ship. With a simple flick of her finger on the wall, Toph managed to cave in a hole in the ceiling.

"Great job Toph!" Katara cheered eagerly.

"Yes, you can shower me in praise later my adoring fans." Toph puffed up her chest with pride.

Suki grunted to herself and looked away from them. Little did those mermaids realize, that danger was not far ahead.

**

This area was known for its populace of sharks, one shark -Glut was his name- was happening to pass by the area, searching for his quickest meal. Glut had managed to overhear the laughing coming from the inside of one of the ships in the graveyard and had decided to investigate. Once he had gotten close enough to the ship, he was able to determine that there were three people inside the ship. Whether they were merfolk or not was no concern of his, he ate anything he could bite as long as it didn't threaten him.

As Glut maneuvered around the boat for a way inside, he managed to catch glimpse of Lan struggling to keep afloat in his area. Glut intended to eat him, but quickly decided not to. He was getting terrible vibes from Lan and did not feel as if it was worth the risk to challenge him. So he shifted his way past Lan -making sure to be unnoticed- and to the voices from inside the boat, eagerly licking his lips.

**

Back in the ship, Katara and the others had reached the second floor where the captain's quarters were. It was a room that seemed relatively untouched by damages with only some broken furniture and a cracked window. There Katara saw something that really caught her eye. It was a fork, shining in the midst of a wrecked table.

"Oh wow," said Katara with a gasp as she picked up the fork. "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your life?"

Suki swam up and examined the fork with a grin that progressed to a confused frown. "That's great Katara, but what is it?"

"I don't know, but I bet Aang and Jet will." Katara then stuffed the fork into a bag she carried.

"I thought it looked perfect." Toph's little joke had both Suki and Katara giggling at the silliness.

They then took to exploring the rest of the room. Katara had found a pipe hidden under a broken desk and took to examining it with Suki. Toph simply wandered around the room with a bored expression, until she suddenly went straight. She felt as if something was wrong; there were extra ripples in the water coming from the area with the window. She swam over and began to see if she could sense where the ripples were coming from.

A large shape slowly moved upwards from the bottom of the window, but Toph couldn't tell what it was. She concentrated a little more and noticed that the ripples changed again. The shape was now moving one part of its body the same way a mouth would move.

Toph took a very wild guess of what the thing was and proceeded to swim out of the way. "Suki! Katara! Shark! Swim for it!"

Toph was correct with her guess, managing to avoid Glut's incoming mouth. He broke through the window and gave chase. Suki and Katara were shocked and did their best to swim away. Glut chased them around the quarters and made sure to block any of the exits using his incredible bulk.

Katara had attempted to use her Waterbending to swipe Glut away, but his speed deterred her from building up any powerful strikes leaving the girls trapped by the behemoth. Suki then noticed a rusted Ruan on the floor and grabbed it. When Glut made another charge at the girls she quickly threw the Ruan in the way of his incoming bite. This drastic trick worked; Glut bit down on the Ruan too fast and nearly choked on it.

Because of this distraction, the girls were able to make a quick escape from the quarters and back onto the deck. Glut wasn't about to let them get away that easily however. He used his girth to break through the metal floors and catch up to them. He nearly caught Suki in his mouth with this trick, but Katara and Toph pulled her back quickly enough to get her away. The girls then made way for the portholes where they came from, wondering why Lan wasn't helping.

Lan was not unaware of everything going on in the ship; he heard the girls' screams, but was unsure of what to do. He didn't know whether to go in and help the girls or wait for them to come outside. If he went inside the girls could be on their way out, but if he stayed outside it might've been too late for the them.

Thankfully, his procrastination had caused him to catch them trying to escape the ship. Suki had suddenly appeared beside him stuck in the porthole again. Not waiting for a request, Lan quickly helped pull Suki out. Soon Toph and Katara followed while Lan stayed behind to see where the shark would exit the ship.

As it so happened, Glut was powerful enough to break through the walls as well, and easily broke through the porthole only missing Lan because he was moving too fast to see him.

Lan managed to catch Glut by the tail before he could get away, but he soon found himself being dragged by the hulk. Glut didn't notice this though as he was so focused on his prey that he didn't have time to pay attention to anything else. This left Lan pretty much helpless as the speed Glut was moving was too fast for him to concentrate on using his powers.

As the girls swam for their lives, Toph noticed another ripple in the way that caught her attention. It was one similar to that of an underwater cliff, and if she was right then she had an idea.

"Katara, Suki! Do you guys see any cliffs below us?"

They girls looked down, but Suki was the first to answer. "Yes Toph, there's one just below us!"

"Perfect! Follow me!"

Toph made a quick dive for the area where she was sure the cliff was and Katara and Suki followed after. Glut made a sharp turn to the right and down, with Lan holding on for dear life at this point.

Once at the cliff, Toph moved toward the side and put her hand on the chunk of rock. She then motioned Suki and Katara to come to her.

They were both nervous with Toph's decision, but were willing to trust her. They swam to her and waited for whatever would come next.

Toph then floated perfectly still, waiting for Glut to arrive. It took some effort for Glut to get back upright, but he managed it and made a mad charge towards the girls. He was now at top speed and ready to pounce.

Toph simply waited there motionless while Suki and Katara closed their eyes, waiting for the end. When Glut just a few inches away, Toph quickly moved her arms and fins in strict motions, bending a wall of earth in front of them. Needless to say, this worked, as Glut was moving too fast to stop himself, causing him to crash into the wall face first. He then floated downwards, now unconscious and with a broken set of teeth.

"Toph that was great!" Katara gave her a big hug; feeding her ego.

Even Suki couldn't help but be thankful. "Good job Toph."

Toph smiled as she absorbed the praise. "I know, I know, I am the greatest."

Suddenly, a squeak came from the other side of the wall. "A little help here please..."

The girls slowly moved to the other side to see Lan. He had slammed into the wall as well, getting his nose planted on the inside. The girls couldn't help but laugh at this silly sight but quickly pulled Lan out of the wall. He was very grateful for this and apologized for his carelessness.

Katara, being the kind soul she was, simply said, "It's alright Lan. What's important is that we're now safe. Come on guys, let's go show our treasures to Aang and Jet."

And with that, Katara and the others took to the surface, to have her new treasures indentified by the most knowledgeable people she knew.

---

I trust you guys to not breath a word of this to the other sites. Stay tuned next Thursday for Chapter 2: Dreaming Mermaid!
 
Last edited:

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.

Dark Eyes in the Water​

Upon breaching the surface, Katara and her friends proceeded to make their way to Jet and Aang’s Point. It was a small island recluse where two human hermits lived. Their names were Jet and Aang.

Aang was once an airbending monk, but he left his temple when he wanted to get away from the duties of being one. When he left the temple he brought along his two pets, a flying white lemur named Momo, and a flying white bison named Appa.

Aang commonly dressed in monk robes and carried a bo-staff with him; when in combination with his airbending techniques the staff allowed him to fly. His skin was adorned with blue streaks that led to an arrow on the top of his bald head.

Jet was a vigilante on the run. He dressed in rags and held two swords which he barely put to use anymore. He mostly lagged on the island while Aang would go flying around the ocean.

Their island was small, but comfortable for their needs. There was a lot of sand, a medium sized cave which they slept in, and a very large palm tree which they swore would grow blue bananas someday.

No one knew how they came to meet, but they enjoyed each other’s company well enough. Despite being good friends though, they had a tendency to fight over petty things. They had also lost a lot of their sanity over the years due to their lack of exposure to civilization –the fact they drink seawater every now and then is also a factor- but they came off well enough.

Katara met them one day when she was on an adventure. When they proved harmless enough they became good friends with her. Afterwards, they offered to teach their, “leftover knowledge”, of the human world. Most of the facts they gave her were wrong, but no one questioned them. They knew more than everyone else so there was no need to.

So, as Katara and her friends were making their way to Jet and Aang’s Point, the two were in the middle of a very important task. They were counting clouds.

Aang was sitting on the top of the palm tree while Jet sat on the beach. Momo and Appa were sleeping under the tree.

“That one to my right is number 4506.” Aang smiled as he looked towards the sky.

Jet then pointed to another cloud in the distance. “I see number 4507 to my left. It reminds me of Katara.”

“Everything reminds you of Katara you pervert.”

“And you’re different?”

“Point taken.”

They took a deep breath and let out a massive sigh. Even though they were human, Aang and Jet couldn’t help but love Katara. She was the epitome of kindness and joy, and she always put them on such high pedestals in terms of their knowledge.

Little did either of them know that Katara was in the distance. “Guys!”

Aang didn’t hear her the first time, and Jet only heard her as a slight buzz. “Even the wind reminds me of her beautiful voice…”

“Yea…”

“Guys!” The second time, Aang did catch her voice and peered his head to the distance.
He spied the figures of Katara and the others and fell into a frantic cheer! “Whoa! Mermaid off the port bow!”

Jet jumped from his position in shock, turning his head in multiple directions to catch Katara. “Where?”

“There!” Aang pointed to the spot where Katara and the others were but they had disappeared under the water.

When they resurfaced Aang noticed them immediately. "Here!"

Jet didn't notice them as quickly though and looked up. "Here?"

"Yes! There!"

"But you said "here"!"

"I mean, there, here!"

"Where's there?"

"Its right here!"

"But you don't describe, here as there!"

"I'm speaking on a smaller scale here!"

"Where are you even getting with this Aang?!"

"That's what I'd like to ask you!"

"Oh shut up and come down!"

Aang nodded and slid down the bark of the tree with a beaming smile across his face as he looked upon Katara and her group.

Katara and Toph were laughing at the silly argument being thrown around, while Suki and Lan simply rolled their eyes at the lunacy.

Jet and Aang then ran up to Katara and gave very awkward bows that had everyone (even the animals) laughing to tears.

Jet quickly rose with his face blushing red. "Eh... hey Katara! What brings you to our neck of the sea?"

After finishing her last giggle, Katara brought up the bag and placed it on the sandy beach. "Take a look at what we found guys!"

Toph raised her chest in light of the situation. "Yep! We were in this sunken ship, and we were suddenly attacked by this shark. Of course, yours truly came in and-"

While Toph rambled on, Jet and Aang squealed at the chance to present themselves to Katara. They rushed to the bag and began to fight over the contents -though carefully; they didn't want to break anything in front of Katara.-

Eventually Aang came out as the winner when he knocked Jet to sea with a gust of wind. He then grabbed hold of the fork Katara found and began his own special explanation.

"Ah, this is a classic piece of mechanicalisms! I remember how we used these babies in the air temple, and boy were they great! They're called dinglehoppers!"

Katara watched him with eagerness similar to that of a child in a toy store. Suki and Lan listened as well but were left somewhat skeptical. Toph was still ranting about her heroics back at the shipwreck.

By now, Jet had managed to swim back to shore; he was a soaking mess. The under part of his clothing had some captured water, making him seem like a bloated fish, and his hair was covered with wayward seaweed. Momo and Appa snickered at Jet as he squished his way to Aang.

Oblivious to Jet’s presence, Aang continued his dubious explanation. "Now you see, this dinglehopper was made for us humans to straighten our hair out!"

Suddenly Jet smacked Aang on the head with the broad side of his sheathed sword, knocking Aang silly; all while grabbing the fork. "Seeing as I'm the one with hair here -a do that you messed up at that- I'll be the one to do this."

Jet placed the fork on the top of his head and began to twist it around. "Now, just a little twirl here and yank there and... viole!"

Jet's hair was now in a shabbier state than beforehand. Katara didn't care though, she was amazed by the usage of the fork and stared at it with intense curiosity when she was handed it back.
"A dinglehopper! Wow!"

Then Suki went up to the shore and pointed to the pipe. "But what about that one?"

By now Aang had come too and made a quick grab for the pipe. Jet noticed this and quickly followed suite. They both had it clamped in their hands and weren't ready to let it go.

After a bit of growling, they both agreed to present it simultaneously. "This baby is known far and wide around the world as: A banded. Bulbous. Snarfblat!"

While Katara and Suki were left wondering, Lan was looking towards the object skeptically.

He squinted at it for a second, noting that it reminded him of something. "Say, that kind of looks like a pi-"

Jet and Aang turned their heads to Lan and gave him dirty looks. "We're the experts here so keep your long nose where it belongs!"

"It's always the nose." Lan muttered sadly as he held his nose.

Using this distraction, Jet kicked Aang away and began to recite his historical facts on "the snarfblat." "Now you see, this snarfblat dates back to pre-hysterical times when we humans used to just sit around and stare at each other all day...got old real fast. So, we invented this snarfblat to make fine music, allow me!"

Aang then snatched the pipe and began to struggle with Jet over it. "No way! You got to present last time! It's my turn now!"

"Well maybe if you didn't throw me in the sea you'd get a turn!"

"You smacked me on the head with your sword and gave me a lump!"

"You should thank me! It's an improvement!"

As they fought over the pipe, Katara and her friends were deep in thought. Something that Jet said had tickled their minds, but they couldn’t recall what it was.

After a few seconds of fighting, Aang had gotten a good look at the inside of the pipe and let go with a smirk. "Oh no, you should be the one to present. You are the boss after all."

Jet raised his head upwards in victory. "Smartest thing you said all day."

Jet then placed his mouth on the lip of the pipe and blew. No music came out, only seaweed and foam.

In surprise, Jet accidently sucked in some of the weed and began to sputter and gag violently. "Aang you bum! You set me up!"

As Jet was about to unleash his fury, that's when it hit Katara. "Oh my spirits, the concert! We forgot about the concert!"

The group was left in shock when the realization hit them. Katara snatched the pipe from the two and began to swim away.

Suki looked back to see that Toph was still flashing her ego to her imaginative audience. "Hey Toph, come on, we have to go!"

“And I’d like to thank my- wha-what? What did I miss?” Toph shook her head in confusion, as if she snapped out of a trance.

"Everything, come on!"

Toph followed after the group with a confused frown and shrug.

Katara turned back once more to say her goodbyes to Aang and Jet. "By guys! Thank you for the info!"

They turned away from their argument and waved goodbye with silly grins. "Anytime Katara! Come here anytime!"

By the time they returned to their argument, Katara and her friends had already disappeared below the waves and made their way back to the palace, hoping they wouldn't be late.

**

In a far off valley, where the borders of the merfolk kingdom were at their limits, the sounds of angry voices could be heard. There, in the middle of the valley, were four strange looking characters, surrounded by the corpses of many merfolk.

There was one chap cloaked in black. He was green and had two legs extending from the bottom of his cloak. Though the growl behind his voice was suggesting anger, his eyes had no such detail. There were no eyes on his face, just two empty holes leading inwards like miniature abysses.

He had a great scowl peeled across his face as he scolded his companions. “Why did you guys kill them? We were ordered for stealth, not rampage!”

“Flame… if I recall, they attacked us.” The person who responded to Flame was a youthful mermaid with dark blue-green skin. To call her an eelmaid would be the more appropriate term though, as her tail was that of an eel’s, grey scaled and outlined with dark hair. Her hair was raven black with two long pigtails trailing down to her waist. She had two different colored eyes, one pale white, and the other, an eerie gold. She wore a bright red clothed bra instead of the normal seashell one, to better conceal knives and other such objects without harming herself.

“Yea Flame, get a grip. Besides, at least we have enough food for the next three months!”

This person was slightly similar to Flame in body. He was a green man with legs who wore a dirty brown hood cloak. Extending from his face was a long, hook-like nose which earned him dirty remarks.
Flame passed this other man a snarl. “You disgust me.”

The man didn’t pay attention to Flame though; he was busy drooling at the many merfolk bodies scattered around.

Before he could grab one of them, he was suddenly assaulted from behind by another eelmaid.

“Yea! We have nommies!”

Though this eelmaid had the same skin, eye, and tail as the other, she was a stark contrast. She had a beaming smile across her face almost constantly, though it was more akin to a mischievous smile than a cheery one. Her hair was dark brown, with a braided ponytail to the back. She wore a purple clothed bra on her chest area, which seemed too small for her.

The man struggled to get her off him as she held her arms across his neck. When he finally managed this, his skin changed to a blue hue, and a knife-sharp frown stretched across his face.

“Ty Lee! I swear to whatever Spirits you serve, that I am going to shove a lump down your throat if you keep doing that to me!”

Ty Lee started swimming backwards and passed the man a lecherous smile. “Ooh, someone’s getting naughty.”

The man raised his brow in confusion and started scratching his chin. Suddenly, his cheek flushed blue and he burst in fury again. “You dirty wench! Get over here and I’ll show you what I mean!”

“Nyah-nyah! You’ll have to catch me first, Spark!” She stuck her tongue forwards and proceeded to swim away.

As Spark gave chase, Flame was pressing a palm to his face. Then he looked to the raven-haired eelmaid who kept her hands crossed.

“Give it a rest Flame, we’re criminals who have been known to kill, its best to live up to that name. Besides, at least we had something less boring to do for once.”

“Boring? Mai, I don’t know how you can always be so dull! Especially when we have those “things” screaming in our heads!”

“The monotony of it does that after a while.”

Flame only looked to Mai with confusion before dropping his head down with a sigh. Mai took no notice of this and turned her head towards the bodies of merfolk.

“At any rate, did you notice?”

Flame passed Mai a confused glance. “Notice what?”

Mai then pointed out to the bodies. “Those merfolk. They’re not your ordinary scouting party, they’re palace guards.”

“What are you getting at?”

“Isn’t there a celebration at the palace today? You’d believe they’d have top security.”

“Hmm, you’re right. What would a gaggle of palace guards be doing in a lonesome place like this?”

“Isn’t it obvious? There’s something amiss over there.”

Before they could converse further, they were being hailed from afar. Ty Lee and Spark had found something of interest in the distance.

When Mai and Flame reached the point, Spark and Ty Lee pointed to something. It seemed like four figures swimming off towards the palace. However, amongst the figures was an interesting sight. In the lead was a young mermaid, with dark skinand a blue fin.

That was no ordinary mermaid though. That was princess Katara, Queen Kya’s youngest daughter. Her presence was definitely irregular, but also opportune.

“I think we found the source of our disruption.” Mai looked towards the princess with a faint smile.

Spark grinned wickedly and turned his head to the others. “Hmm, do you know who’d be interested in this?”

Ty Lee passed on a bubbly smile to him. “She would!”

“Then you’d best put those eyes to work before the girl gets away.” Flame crossed his arms and watched the princess with curiosity.

Ty Lee and Mai’s eyes began to glow and eerie gold light as they fixated their gazes on Katara and her party.

**

In a dark corner of the sea, amidst the tortured screams of souls yearning for freedom, was the pale light of a crystal ball. Within the ball was the image of Katara and her friends traversing the sea.
Peering at the group, were two pale eyes breaking through the darkness. Within them was all the malice and selfishness of the world. The desire to rule all and be all was there, turning its evil sights on Katara.

"Yes, hurry home my princess..." The chalk-like smooth voice hummed from the darkness.

"We do not want to be late to my dear Kya's celebration now would we?"

The voice then gave a sinister chuckle as its eyes looked upon Katara. Then it burst out into a maniacal shriek, overshadowing all. Its echo stretched out far and wide until slowly dying away to silence.

The eyes then began to stare deeper towards the ball.

"Perhaps I could have a better use for you though. Yes... you will be my key. My key to unlock Kya's undoing."

Slowly the eyes turned away from the ball, disappearing into the darkness surrounding it...
 

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.
Edit: Since I have been pretty hard with criticizing other people's stories lately, to show I am not biased, I shall critique my own story.
While I did my best to keep the characters in shape, I find that there us still a lot of inconsistency where the characters talk a little too formally for who they are, which is a big problem because narrator and character should not be the same creature. Narrator is writing, and characters are speaking; there's a difference.
The tenses jump around too much for my taste, and really need a lot of work to solidify that it is past tense.
There is a lot of flourish in places where there shouldn't be, making for superfluous writing.
I think the first chapter is especially suffering to this, despite my best efforts to keep it good. It always seems to be that chapter I mess up as well.

Wow..... This is really creative. I can't wait to see more!:clap:
I thank you for the reply, I hope to expect better to come in subsequent chapters.
 
Last edited:

Ganondork

goo
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
"Ah, this is a classic piece of mechanicalisms! I remember how we used these babies in the air temple, and boy were they great! They're called dinglehoppers!"
lol, I found that histerical because that sounds like the dialogue in The Little Mermaid. As for the rest of the story; holy crap. This is so great! Not to mention it's based off of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I loved that show when I was 8 or so. The writing was amazing, and you put in a good amount of humor so people could stay interested.
 

Nicole

luke is my wife
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Location
NJ
I have to say, at first I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't realize it involved The Little Mermaid so much. I haven't seen The Little Mermaid in recent years, so the dialogue is all new to me, which is good.

I don't have much to actually critique, but I have a few things to praise. I love the descriptions. Description is always something I look out for. I write from time to time, so I know the importance of describing the scene to your readers. I can really picture the characters and setting as your story moves on. Very nice. I also think the cover art to the story is quite fiiting. Good job.
 

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.
I have to say, at first I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't realize it involved The Little Mermaid so much. I haven't seen The Little Mermaid in recent years, so the dialogue is all new to me, which is good.

I don't have much to actually critique, but I have a few things to praise. I love the descriptions. Description is always something I look out for. I write from time to time, so I know the importance of describing the scene to your readers. I can really picture the characters and setting as your story moves on. Very nice. I also think the cover art to the story is quite fitting. Good job.
Don't expect it to involve too much of the Little Mermaid outside of settings and events; pretty much all but 2 pieces of dialogue are original.
 

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.
Dreaming Mermaid
While Katara was gone, the palace was in an absolute uproar. Guards had been dispatched into search parties. Only the Kyoshi stayed behind, because they were missing their leader.

Queen Kya was probably the most dysfunctional. She would swim back and forth in her throne room, worrying for Katara's safety. Sokka and Match were doing their best to keep her calm, while assessing the situation themselves.

When Katara did return, the palace was in a greater commotion than before. Many servants who worked on decorating and taking down decorations gave her evil glances. The Kyoshi guards that were still there wanted to give her an earful on safety, but were bothered with the task of recalling search parties.

By now Katara's group had split up, aside from Lan. Toph had gone off to her house to face criticism from her parents. Suki was forced to go off with the other Kyoshi Warriors to help with recalling search parties. This left Katara and Lan alone to face Queen Kya.

The Queen's anger had quelled into slight annoyance now. She was willing to reason with Katara, but was still agitated with her behavior.

She managed to keep her part of the lecture civil, but there was the problem with Sokka. He was absolutely furious with Katara and was not ready to let the situation lie down.

Right now Kya was doing her best to keep control as she lectured Katara in her throne room.

"Katara, what are we supposed to do about this? You were consistently reminded-"

"Yet you still didn't show, turning all that preparation into a waste of time!" Sokka stuck his head forward and cut his mother off.

Kya let Sokka finish, and quickly thought of something to say. She didn't want Katara to get any wrong ideas to how she was reacting to this predicament.

"You need to be a tad more responsible with these situations Katara. You're a kind hearted person who means well, but-"

"But you lack drive, or thought of what consequences come afterwards! If you had even an inkling of consideration for what I go through to make these things then maybe you'd see how horrible this is!"

Sokka went on like this for a while, leaving no time for Kya or Katara to speak.

Kya was pressing the palm of her hand to her face in annoyance. Sokka did mean well with his rants, but sometimes he went too far. She only hoped Katara wasn't taking it the wrong way.

Katara wanted to be reasonable and talk to her mother as well, but was unable to. Sokka's lengthy speech kept her from even uttering one word without receiving his chagrin.

Lan wasn't taking this all too well either. Sokka wasn't even giving poor Katara a chance to defend herself. So, without thinking, he swam up to Sokka to hand him an earful.

"Now listen here you! Katara's been through a lot and she doesn't need this rag on her mind!"

"And what excuse do you have to give for her, dart-face?"

"Oh, very cute," muttered Lan holding his nose. "I'd like to see you try wandering the surface with no stars in the sky, and then we'd see how fast you'd make it back to the palace!"

That caught Kya's attention all too quickly.

"The surface?"

Lan put his hands to his mouth when he realized the mistake he had made. He looked to Katara and blushed nervously while she simply frowned.

"Katara! You went up to the surface again?"

"Well, nothing happened mother."

"That does not change the fact that something could have happened! What if you were spotted by humans? Spirits know what would happen if you were caught by those barbarians!"

"Mother, have faith in me! I am eighteen years old! I'm not a child anymore!"

"And I realize that Katara, but you are still blind to the dangers out there. Humans and merfolk were never meant to interact with one another. If they see you, they will not simply say hello and be on their way. They will chase you down with their spears and kill you!"

"But mother, we don't even interact with them in the first place. Maybe if we just gave them a chance then-"

"Katara please! I've seen what these humans do to sea creatures. They do not deserve a chance. Now, I want you to swear to me that you shall never go to the surface again.

Katara stuttered a bit before lowering her head with a sigh. "Yes mother..."

Katara swam out of the throne room quickly. This left no room for Kya to smooth her words and give Katara more reason to understand.

Kya fell to her coral throne with a groan. She then noted that Lan was attempting to slink out of the throne room.

"Lan, come here."

Lan halted mid-slink and gave a nervous smile to Kya. He then swam forwards to her throne.

"Yes, your majesty?"

"Lan, I am very disappointed with how you have been handling Katara. You were employed to quell her recklessness to a minimum."

Then Match stepped in, feeling that he needed to hand some discipline too.

"Though you have kept her safe from harm, her inappropriate behavior continues."

"Well, your majesty, you know how teenagers are... they're... always moving... and complicated." Lan twiddled with his fingers as he spoke, grasping for any excuses he could find.

"Precisely why I have come to the conclusion that this task is too much for you. Now don't fret Lan, you're not being replaced. Your combat skills are too valuable to give up. So, Match and I have decided that you need a partner."

"Partner!"

Sokka had a grin as sharp as a knife when he heard this. "Ha, now that's something we need! Maybe now we can have some order around here!"

"He shall be someone who is ready to lay the hand of discipline down."

"Wonderful!"

"He's someone who can be relied on all times."

"Now that's my kind of guy!"

"He shall be always there to keep Katara out of trouble."

Sokka seemed ready to burst into boisterous applause as he smiled venomously to Lan. "Yes, yes, yes! This is the sign of change coming my way! Let's see this fella clean up your act!"

"That is why I have appointed you Sokka."

"You hear that buddy, they've appointed... me?" Sokka's joy quickly fell to shock when he realized this. He chuckled at first, before falling into masses of gibberish.

Lan was as equally shocked. He and Sokka did not get along well, so this partnership was less than ideal for him.

"Your Majesty! Surely you jest!"

"Yes mother! You can't partner me with this blunt swordfish, I have other commitments!"

"Oh, now that's just mean," muttered Lan, holding his nose.

"Come now you two," said Kya. "With Sokka's discipline, and Lan's fighting skills, taking care of Katara shall be a simple task. Once time has passed, and she has settled down, then you can split off."

Sokka and Lan wanted to argue more, but knew that such would be in vain. They bowed to Kya and quietly left the throne room, passing grim glances to one another.

Once they were gone, Kya let out a winded sigh and slumped on her throne. The pressures of being a queen were straining enough, but being a mother alongside it was nearly unbearable.

Kya frowned as she looked around her. "I don't know what I am doing wrong Match. Everyday it seems Katara is slowly slipping away from me."

Match turned his head to her and gave a quaint smile. "I think you did an adequate job, your majesty. You presented a strong argument, and showed Katara that you were doing this for her."

Kya turned a dull glance to him. "Do you think she sees it like that?"

Match's face fell to an unsure frown as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well... I can't exactly say whether or not she does your majesty. As my brother says, teenagers are very complicated and fickle to what you tell them. Right now is a very crucial time for Katara's relationship with you, and your actions will reflect on that. I know, I have a daughter myself."

Kya raised an eyebrow to him. "A daughter? You never spoke of her beforehand."

"There was no need to, your majesty. My relation with my daughter may be at an end anyways. She's been missing for many years, and I am concerned that she has met a less than favorable fate."

Kya stared at Match with a solemn gaze, longing to share any empathy of sorts. "I... I'm sorry for your loss Match."

Match looked to her silently. A aura of sadness pervaded through his black glasses. "Don't be... I'm the one who drove her off."

After that, Kya was left silent. The impact of Match's words had left her shuddering. She could only hope though, that her situation would not come to that.

ooo

Lan and Sokka were swimming through the palace halls. The hallway was open, with windows leading to the outside for all to swim in and out.

Both of them held their heads down in disgust and their mouths silent.

Lan then stopped to groan. "How do I get myself into these situations?"

"That's what I should be saying! I am the court composer and next in the line to the throne! I should be discussing politics and composing music, not tagging along after a headstrong teen and her gaggle of friends just because someone doesn't know how to handle his job!"

Lan shoved Sokka aside in defiance. "Now listen here, you impudent punk! I was doing my job just fine!"

Sokka rolled his eyes in exaggeration of Lan's words. "Oh yes, that's why you didn't miss the concert. Oh wait! You did miss it, because you don't even know how to handle one girl!"

"What makes you think we didn't miss it intentionally? Anything you compose would probably be as bad your attitude."

Sokka now pressed his forehead to Lan's. "My music is the work of art and I won't let you trash it!"

"Hard to trash what is already trash! Why don't you try something more around your league, like fighting? Oh wait, you suck at that too!"

"I'll have you know that I know how to fight! Suki's been showing me how to use a sword, and I've already mastered skills with a boomerang!"

"Let me see what you have then, fry!"

Before either could square off though, Sokka had his attention grabbed by three figures outside. He moved closer to the window to catch glimpse of them.

It was Katara, Toph, and Suki. In Katara's hands was a small red bag which she held closely to her chest.

They turned their heads around to make sure no one was watching. Sokka hid from their sight as they did this. Then, when the girls thought the coast was clear, they swam away.

Sokka raised his eyebrow and scratched his chin. "Hmm, Where are they going? The festival's the other way."

Before Sokka could make chase though, Lan swam in front of him like a wall. "Stop! Where they're going is none of your business!"

"And what are you going to do to stop me from following them?"

"Well I have just the thing for that. First, look to the right, then the left. Back to the right and then the left. Now look up, then down. Up once more; is that your mother behind you?"

"What?" Sokka turned to see nothing behind him.

When Sokka turned, he saw Lan swimming off to the distance. It mattered little though. Sokka was a merman so it was his fins versus Lan's legs. In this case he could out-swim Lan any day, but he chose to stay a short distance behind. Wherever his sister was going it didn't seem good. So he started his espionage trip following Lan, until he eventually caught up with the others.

Sokka trailed Katara's group for the next hour. It was simple for him to keep up with them at first, but then they made a sharp turn and it all went downhill from there. The road they were taking was convoluted and laden with overgrown plants. This didn't stop him though.

Sokka knew something fishy was going on, and he wanted find out what it was. If it was good enough information then perhaps his mother would let him off the job. Of course, by the time the group had left the underwater jungle, Sokka was just covered with bristles, thorns, and vines. Despite this shambled state of character, he managed to keep up with Katara all the way, -barring the few situations where he almost got lost.-

Sokka examined his area, but was unable to tell where he was at his point of view. From what he could tell though, he was inside a ravine of sorts, wedged between two large cliffs. Behind him was the jungle, camouflaging the entrance to this place. In front of him he could see that Katara and her friends were heading over to a cave of sorts. Sokka wanted to go up to inspect the surrounding area, but halted in fear that he would be spotted or that he would lose the Katara in the process, so he decided to just watch.

Actually, Sokka wasn't that far from the palace. He and the group had only traveled a few 10 miles at most. The area wasn't too well hidden aside from the twin cliffs and the jungle, as it was very high altitude, almost stretching to the surface.

What made Katara choose this area was because it was not a popular gathering site for anyone. This was off most patrol maps as well so there was little chance of discovery. Of course, she and the others often kept their eyes open at any time in case someone was tracking them.

Sokka watched from afar as he saw his sister move up to the cave. There was a large boulder blocking the entrance, something that would have been impossible for anyone to lift underwater. Katara was a waterbender though, and such a task wasn't difficult for her. She proceeded to move her body in a slim groove and let the currents of water flow through her. The currents she controlled moved upwards, into a small hole on the top of the cave. It made its way down until it hit the entrance from the other side, allowing for the cavern door to be opened by simple force. Toph was the one who would hold the boulder up while everyone slithered into the dark cavern.

When everyone was inside, Toph let the boulder slide back to its original position. Sokka took this chance and rushed in after the group. He was not fast enough though, as the entrance quickly shut. He wasn't ready to give up at this point though; he had a job to do and he was ready to take as many measures. -There was also the fact that he had never gone this far outside the palace without guard supervision so he was nervous of getting lost, and the drama build up would be enormous.-

Sokka quickly took to inspecting every side of this mysterious cavern. He circled side to side, from top to bottom. From what he could gather, the cave was a vertical rise. He noted that there was a small hole on the roof of the cavern but dared not to poke his head in, in thinking that he would be spotted.

Upon a second inspection, Sokka noticed a hole in the side of the cave hiding behind moss. It was barely big enough for Sokka to fit in, but he was willing to take the plunge. He backed up a bit and set his sight for the hole. Then, with gusto, he charged. He slid in before sharply stopping when his head and the front of his hands were on the other side.

This was possibly, the most embarrassing position for any prince to be in. Of course, no prince in recorded history had ever had to squeeze through a tiny hole to expose their sister like a criminal mastermind. The idea of being the first to do this slightly flattered Sokka until he realized that getting oneself stuck in a hole like bloated sea lion was not something people would applaud for.

What was he even doing there? Sokka could have just discovered the cave and tried to swim back to his mother. He supposed it was because of a growing sense of duty in him; he was going to be king after all, it made sense for him to take care of the situation himself. Still, when thinking over the situation, this wasn't that smart of a decision. Sokka would have smacked his head if he hadn't of done so this morning. Sokka was inside the cave though, and that comforted him with a sign of progress, now he just had to get himself out of this situation.

The cave was bigger than he had expected, which explained the quick trip he made through the wall. Inside were unnatural shelves dotted with strange objects. Some were round, some were twisted, others had strange faces; it was all too confusing for him. That's when Sokka thought; perhaps these objects were all human made. That would mean that his sister was smuggling human objects behind their mother's back, and by the sheer numbers he saw, it has been going on for a while.

Sokka could hear faint voices coming from below him. Using all the power in his trapped arms, Sokka stretched his head out to get a glance of what was going on below. He managed to get the majority of his head over the side of the current shelf he was on. He could see his sister on the bottom floor surrounded by her friends. She was solemnly looking at a strange human object she was holding in her while her friends fiddled with some of the other human things in the grotto.

Suki took notice and swam up to her. "Katara are you alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, yea Suki I'm fine. Just thinking about what my mother said." Lan and Toph stopped what they were doing and looked at Katara with subtle frowns. Katara usually came to this place whenever she wanted to deposit her new treasures, but this was also her secret place to reconcile with herself when her mother got into an argument with her.

It wasn't that Katara hated her mother, it's just that she felt that her mother never gave her a chance to explain herself. They were both so separate in how they expressed their feelings to one another. This separation could be laid as a fault on both of them. Katara never expressed much to her mother after she became a teenager, often finding herself moving further and further away. Her mother could also be faulted as finding very little time to spare herself to Katara. At this point it was very difficult for them to interact.

"Maybe my mother is right, maybe there is something the matter with me. I just can't see how a world that makes such lovely things could be bad." Katara looked to the rest of the pieces in her collection of human objects and couldn't help but feel a sensation rise in her throat. Soon, it evolved into a song...

Look at this stuff,

Isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the girl?

The girl who has everything?

Look at this trove,

Treasures untold,

How many wonders can one cavern hold?

Looking around here you think,

Sure,

she's got everything!​

Katara then floated over to many hanging objects of different sorts. Some were necklaces, some rope, others watches, all of them were so fascinating to her. Each piece had its own special place in her heart despite its true usage being less than what she fantasized.

I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty

I've got whozits and whatzits galore

You want thingamabobs?

I've got twenty!

But who cares?

No big deal.

I want more!​

Katara then looked towards the ceiling in a longing gaze before looking down on the seafloor. Then her attention turned to a small music box that had two human figures on the top of it dancing. The small tune that played as she spun it was simple but beautiful. She then looked to Lan's feet and smiled. She then took Toph's hand and started to dance.

I wanna be where the people are.

I wanna see,

wanna see them dancin'

Walking around on those - what do you call 'em?
Oh - feet!

Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far

Legs are required for jumping, dancing

Strolling along down a -

what's that word again?

Street!​

As Katara continuously swam around the grotto, Sokka was watching from behind the objects. He was enjoying Katara's singing voice. It was always something to listen to its soft melody rise and fall. He almost drowned in the beauty of the music, questioning whether he should tell his mother about this place or not. Sokka then snapped himself back into reality. There was no place for a compassionate king! He had to stay true to duties ahead of him, and Katara was breaking those duties.

Up where they walk, up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wanderin' free!

Wish I could be

Part of that world!​

Katara looked up to the ceiling once more and sighed before falling to the ground below. She smothered herself in the cold ocean sand below her, longing for the warmth of the beaches above. Then Katara thought of her mother, and couldn't help but sigh.

What would I give if I could live out of these waters?

What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?

Bet'cha on land they understand

That life's not just following orders

Proper living I'd give for freeing

My lasting joy!​

Katara swam high up the grotto and looked through many books. The words had faded long ago but the pictures there interested Katara. That's when Katara looked up to the small hole on the top of the grotto and stretched her hands through it. The hole was too small for her to squeeze through; and like the barrier of her life, she was repelled back down, down to the waters below as she sang her last verse.

I'm ready to know what the people know!

Ask 'em my questions and get some answers

What's a fire and why does it - what's the word?

Burn?

When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above?

Out of the sea,

Wish I could be,

Part of that world!
As Katara finished her song, Sokka couldn't help but feel that he heard enough. This was already enough evidence for him to expose her. He pulled as hard as his constricted arms could and slowly made some progress as he loosened himself.

"That's it, I've heard enough of this!"

Sokka's grunts left everyone in shock and surprise. They recognized his voice anywhere, but they couldn't tell where he was. The entrance was still firmly sealed and, they couldn't see any silhouette on the roof.

Sokka did manage to free himself, but once he was he just shot out of his hole and was sent flying. He shot straight onto Lan's face, smacking his eye into Lan's block nose. They both cringed in pain as they held their respective parts. Katara, Suki, and Toph were all left in surprise.

"My eye! Watch where you point that thing you lunatic, it's a weapon!"

Lan looked to Sokka and scowled. "My nose! You shouldn't smack into people like that when you want to make an entrance! This thing is fragile!"

Katara was busy thinking of an excuse to make as the two argued on.

Sokka then turned to Katara and exclaimed, "As for you! What do you have to say for this stuff?"

Katara had only one excuse come to mind. "We- uh just found this place lying around."

Sokka lowered his brow in annoyance. "Ho-ho, I see. You expect me to believe that you found this entire stockpile of human junk all nicely place on all these shelves? That sounds reasonable."

"Really?" Sokka lowered his brow again.

"Of course it does. Like hell that is! Do you know what mother would think if she found out that you've been holding up this stuff?"

"Oh please Sokka don't tell mother, she'd never understand!" Katara held up her hands, attempting to plea with him. Her sorrowful gaze almost had Sokka thinking otherwise, but he smacked himself back into reality.

"Sorry Katara, but I've got to do what I've got to do and that's that!" He held his head up high and crossed his hands in a pout.

"I say we tie him up and leave him for the sea buzzards." Toph snickered before being smacked by Suki. Sokka then realized something that he overlooked: he was in Katara's power. There was no other way out of this grotto, and bugger if he was going to go through that hole again. He needed to use his powers of deception to craft his own way out of this situation.

"Well now Katara, maybe we can handle this with a little reasoning. Perhaps we can talk this over -" Before Sokka could continue his sentence, the grotto became dark. Everyone turned up to see a great shadow looming overhead. Slowly it blocked the incoming moonlight, leaving the entire grotto in a shade of darkness.

Katara was amazed by the sheer visage of such a hulk. It was too far to be a shark, and too blurry to be a whale. It must've been something on the surface, and Katara was willing to find out what it was. With speed, she swam to the entrance of her grotto. Using her Waterbending she pushed the immense boulder out of the way and made a dash for the surface. All she could hear as she swam away were the sounds of Sokka calling for her.

"Katara! Where are you going? Come back here Katara!" His words soon became lost to her as she swam upwards to whatever that object was...

ooo

Looks like the situation's really starting to get heated up folks!

Stay tuned next Friday for the release of Chapter 5:

Wrath of the Waves
 

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.

Wrath of the Waves

Once Katara reached the surface, she peeked her head above the water barrier. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she beheld the wonderful sight before her.

There were dozens of multicolored lights beaming across the night sky in a festival of explosions, with a pale full moon above.

Katara could not help but feel aghast and amazed at the wonderful sight. The clouds erupt in shades unfamiliar and erratic to her, and she only smiled. It was like being in an enchanted faire of colors and sound, where all one wants to do is dance till you die of exhaustion.

What amazed Katara most of all though, was the great shape from where the lights originated. It was a human ship, skidding across the water surface as smoothly as ice. Katara had seen plenty of ships before but she never got a chance to see one in action. She was amazed that such a giant could wander the ocean surface without sinking.

When the others began to surface, they too were caught in the magic of the sparkling lights. The spectacle was unlike anything they had ever seen before, save the times they saw bolts shot out of the Queen’s trident.

“Now that’s an eye-opener, no mistake of that.” Lan’s mouth seemed to drop a mile down as he gazed at the lights.

“It’s so beautiful…” Suki raised her hands to the sky as if to catch the dancing sparks.

Toph was the only one who wasn’t mesmerized by the colors. Being that she was blind, she couldn’t rightly see what everyone was in awe about, but she could hear the explosions well enough. “What’s going on? Is there a fight? If so I get dibs on their faces! Hey, are you guys listening to me? Hello?!”

Sokka was the last to come up, and he was very angry. When Katara left to the surface, he feared that the worst would happen and followed after her. This was not the case, and Sokka was very angry for apparently being, “tricked”, into coming to the surface.

His face was flashing red as he glared at his sister. “Katara, what’s the big idea doing that?! You know we are not supposed to be up here! What would mother think if something happened to you? Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Sokka waved his hand in front of her face and got no reaction. He then turned his head towards the ship and let out a gasp. Sokka never saw a human or their ships once in his life, but he heard many horrible stories about them. The dancing lights in the sky seemed more like symbols of war, and left Sokka frightened.

He squealed with fear and tugged on Katara's arm. “Jumping jellyfish! It’s an attack! Katara, we have to get back underwater!”

Katara was lost to Sokka though, she was completely focused on the ship, and wanted to see more. She wrenched herself away from Sokka's grip and began to make her way to the vessel.

Suki and Lan snapped out of their trances and quickly swam after her, leaving Toph and Sokka behind to watch as they disappeared into the distance.

“Katara! Don’t go Katara! Please, come back!” Sokka’s screams were in vain, as Katara had already gotten too far to hear his cries and pleas. Sokka could only watch in horror as his sister dipped away into the distance.

Toph looked to the distance blankly. “…Will somebody tell me what’s going on?”
**

On a lonesome gaggle of rocks in the distance, four figures were watching the ship with evil glares. They had been trailing Katara for the entirety of the day, out of sight and out of light. The discoveries they found were definitely intriguing but nothing of great value to their cause.

So they waited restlessly on those rocks, watching Katara’s every move.

“I! Am! Bored!” Ty Lee squirmed in her spot like a snake in grass.

Spark turned a nasty glance to Ty Lee and growled. “Do us all a favor Ty Lee. Put that mouth to use and shut it, or I’ll shut it for you!”

Ty Lee puffed her face in annoyance, before twisting it to a slick smile. “Spark! I didn’t know you were that into me.”

Spark was silent for a moment, before his cheeks rushed blue. “Another crack like that and I’ll…! You know what, I won’t finish.” He turned around and mumbled to himself while Ty Lee smugly grinned.
Flame got up from his spot and smacked them both on the back of their heads. “Will you two be quiet!? You’re going to get us spotted!”

As Spark pressed his hands to the back of his head he glared at Flame. “Spotted?! We’re almost a mile away from them!”

“Yea, if we really wanted to be spotted, we’d go up and scream: "We’re out to discover-!"” Before Ty Lee could say more, Flame clamped her mouth shut and pulled her down.

“You’re all idiots as far as I can tell.” Mai was the only one who wasn’t up in arms over the commotion. She kept to her spot and silently stared at the vessel while the others had been arguing the night away.
“Besides, if we stay here longer, chances are, we’ll be in danger.”

None of them understood where Mai was getting at. “What?”

The only answer she offered them was in the form of her hand pointing to the sky.

They looked up and let their jaws drop in awe. Their heads turned to one another and they began to nod in a silent agreement.

Spark turned his head towards the ship, passing an evil grin. “This is going to be interesting...”

**

Katara made her way towards the ship at top speed, and when she arrived she used her Waterbending to rise towards a ledge that allowed her to view the deck without being seen.

She looked up from her hiding place to see many humans dancing. They all wore uniform clothing and strange hats on their heads. Some humans had snarfblats in their hands which they would use to play music, though these were different from the one Jet and Aang had shown Katara earlier. Some were lean, some were large, and others were saggy.

The tune the humans played had Katara smiling in glee. Although, the melody was jumpy and left a lot to be desired in comparison to more refined music Katara listened to. However, the inconsistency had her feeling as if she was in a parade of fantasy, in celebration only because there was life. It was such a change from her daily palace life.

Then something caught her eye. There was one human to the other side of the vessel looking towards the party with a frown on his face. He was young, with red and black robes of a fancier assortment than the simple cloths the others wore, suggesting nobility.

On the left side of his face was a hideous scar that collapsed the majority of the skin around his left eye. The right side of his face was stern, filled with bitterness and disgust, yet it had a hidden side to it. Within its deep gaze, Katara saw a hint if suffering and torment. He longed to dance with the sailors, but felt unable to, and looked to them with jealousy. It almost brought a tear to Katara's eye.
A voice then erupted out of the crowd. “Silence! Silence for my birthday honor to my nephew!”

Katara looked to see that it was an old man who said that. He was dressed in similar robes to that of the young man, yet of a light variety of red. He sported a beard that stretched down to his chest. He had a large protruding gut, similar to that of the bloated humans Katara would always see on sunken ships. His face was boisterous with joy, a stark contrast to the young man.

All activity on the ship stopped as he made his demands. Sailors dropped their instruments and all eyes were focused on the old man.

He cleared his throat and patted the younger noble on the back. “Today is a special day! Today happens to be the eighteenth birthday of our young Prince Zuko, and only a few days before his coronation as the new Fire Lord!”

The sailors raised glasses in a mess of cheer. Only the young prince Zuko winced at the speech and crossed his fingers over his eyelids. By Katara’s guess, he didn’t want to be the ruler of his nation. She couldn’t help but feel a kindred nature to it; he was not all too different from her, but not quite the same.

“So it is my privilege now to present Prince Zuko with his birthday present.” The old man smiled as he walked away from Zuko and towards a large object draped in cloth.

The old man removed the cloth, revealing a large statue of prince Zuko. He was standing with his right arm to his chest, and his left hand holding a large banner with a symbol. While the old man seemed impressed with the statue, Zuko seemed aghast with horror.

Zuko walked over to the statue and stuttered as he grasped words to describe it. “Oh, well, uncle Iroh… it’s really something else…”

Iroh smiled proudly to his nephew and nodded in agreement. “Yes, I had it commissioned myself. Of course, I hoped it would be a wedding present.”

Zuko pressed the palm of his left hand to his face in disdain. “Oh no uncle, not that again. Are you still sore that I didn’t fall for the priestess of the southern air temple?”

Iroh gave an innocent smile to Zuko with his hands held behind his back. “Well, I was somewhat disappointed when you did; she was very pretty.”

Zuko rolled his right eye in an exaggerated fashion. “Oh yes, she was pretty, but also bubbly clumsy with everything she touched. I’m surprise I didn’t lose an arm that night! Don’t think I also didn’t catch your romantic tricks to get us together! Those things don’t work!”

Iroh’s smile slowly transitioned to a sad frown as he eyed his nephew’s disdain. “I’m sorry Zuko. I was only trying to help you.”

“Oh yes, help me. If there was anymore glitter present at that event of yours I would have become a fairy.”

“Zuko, don’t think I’m the only one who worries about you. The entire kingdom loves you, and wants to see you happily settled down with the right girl.”

“If I get married Uncle, I want it to be to a girl who understands me. I want a girl who I can trust; someone who would be a friend during my greatest time of need; someone whom I could say good morning too with a smile. I want a girl just like mom…”

As Zuko continued, Katara silently watched from her spot, longing to give him a hug. He was like a child who had lost his way and was longing for guidance from someone.

“Dear nephew, your mother’s death was a hard thing for all of us, but you have to let go and understand that people die… just like my son...” Iroh’s face darkened as those last words escaped his mouth.

“That won’t stop me from looking Uncle. When I find her, I’ll know that she’s the one. It’ll just hit me, like lightning.”

When that last word left Zuko breath, the sound of thunder echoed in the distance, like drums of doom. The wind began to pick up from its light breeze to a violent rage. The water began to rise and fall, beating down on the metal vessel like pounding fists. A storm was now overheard.

The voice emanated from the communication tubes and echoed to all on board. “Hurricane-a-coming! Stand fast! Secure the boiler room!"

The other members of the crew stopped what they were doing and scrambled towards their positions on the ship. They rushed to the inner chambers of the vessel to help keep the ship on course. Even young Zuko ran to join the fray, despite his social position.

It was like watching a behemoth beat down on insects. The ship crashed against wave after wave, and was being thrown around like a ball. The rain beat on the decks like rocks, soaking the crewmen instantly while lighting struck above with earth-shattering cracks. The sheer intensity and power of this storm was almost unreal to the eye, and chilling the very soul.

The crew who were left on the upper decks, to keep supplies from falling, continued their tasks un-dauntingly. Deep inside, they continued to struggle with the awesome spectrum of power that aimed for nothing more than their destruction. Mere mortals were challenging the very power of nature itself, not just because they wanted to, but because they knew that their lives depended on it. This will to survive, was probably the most fascinating thing Katara had learned of humans today.

Katara herself, was barely hanging on to the metallic ledge of the ship. Even her waterbending could not help her challenge the power that she was facing right now. As for her friends, they were quickly dragged back down the watery depths by the immense strength of the waves.

The control tower of the ship was soon struck by an intense bolt of lightning, killing all inside. The ship was now left unmanned and at the mercy of the ocean.

Seeing that the ship was heading off course, Zuko ran straight to the control tower. Once there he grabbed the helm for dear life, not willing to let it go for a second, no matter how much it burned his palms with pain. The ship was now at his command, and he aimed to topple the very forces of nature if it meant to protect his uncle and the crew.

By now, Katara could no longer hold her position; she was quickly struck down by a crashing wave and sent back into the dark waters below. She made a quick turn and swam back to the surface. With her skills of waterbending, she struggled to stay afloat as long as she could.

Unfortunately, Zuko’s efforts to protect the vessel were in vain, as the ship had steered so off course that it was now heading straight towards a throng of rocks. He did his best to avoid them but saw that it was no use. The ship was about to crash, and everyone on board would be thrown into the ocean if they didn’t know.

Zuko grabbed for the communication tubes and began to bark warnings. “Rocks ahead! Abandon ship!”

Many of the crewmembers panicked and began to run towards the lifeboats. They were too slow though, as the ship crashed forward into the large chunks, causing several small explosions to occur below deck. Everyone on deck was thrown overboard by the massive shockwave along with a few lifeboats.

Once in the lifeboats, Zuko managed to gather up the crew, but he felt that there was something wrong. He had counted everyone and was sure that they were all safe. Then it hit him; he could not find his uncle anywhere.

“…Uncle…Has anyone seen my uncle?!”

They could only shake their heads in reply. Zuko frantically looked to the water below but saw nothing. Even though the surface was lit by the flames on the ships he could see nothing.

“Then that means that he’s… still on the ship!” His eyes widened in fear as he looked to the burning vessel.

Zuko dived into the water and swam towards the ship with all the power in him. The waves crashed downwards, aiming to stop him but he had managed to persevere and climb into one of the gaping holes in the hull.

There were fires everywhere below deck, covering up the exit to the upper. Zuko didn’t give up though; he was ready for such an occasion.

With a swift swish of his arm, Zuko summoned a stream of fire. It was the art of firebending, the ability to summon and manipulate fire to one’s own advantage. Zuko had been taught to mastery level and used this to clear the other flames out of his way.

Once on deck he saw his uncle struggling under a mass of wreckage. Zuko didn’t even bother to call out to him. He only ran with all the power in his legs, avoiding the debris in his way.
Katara watched his acts of bravery from afar and was left impressed by the courage Zuko possessed. He was different from the boy she had seen a few minutes ago. It was as if he had adopted a whole new persona.

She watched as Zuko pulled Iroh out of the wreckage and held him on his shoulder. “Uncle, are you alright?”

“Yes; I'm not as sturdy as I used to be when I was fifty. Thank you Zuko.”

Zuko looked to his uncle with tears falling from his face and a smile. “I couldn’t lose you too Uncle. Come on, let’s get out of here! Can you still walk?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Let's go!"

With great speed they both ran to the other side of the ship, so as not to be skewered by the rocks below when they jumped. Once there, Iroh made the first jump and did his best to swim to the lifeboats.

When Zuko attempted to jump, a large patch of the floor caved in on his right leg, trapping him in one spot. Zuko didn’t call to his uncle though. It was too risky for a second rescue attempt and, chances were, it would be too late.

No one on the lifeboats understood why Zuko was hesitating. Iroh was unable to look back because of the harsh waves and only hoped his nephew was alright. Only Katara knew what was happening and she gasped.

"His leg is caught!" None of the sailors knew where this voice had come from, but they looked to the ship and saw that it was true.

After picking up Iroh, they began to row the lifeboats closer to the ship in hopes that they could get to Zuko in time.

Zuko was busy trying to escape his predicament. He feverously pounded on the floor in vain hopes that he could pull his leg free.

The predicament grew more desperate as the fires below began to spread further into the boiler room. The stream finally reached one of the boilers and sparked it in flame. A chain reaction followed, absorbing the ship in explosions.

Zuko's body quickly vanished from view, with his screams of agony being the last remnant of his presence.

Katara, in her horror, swam to the wreck as fast as she could. All common sense fled from her as she focused her attention on finding the lost prince.

She dodged around flotsam and jetsam and circled the ship thrice-fore but couldn’t find a trace. That’s when Katara noticed a vaguely human shape sticking out of the water. It was Zuko. His unconscious body was holding onto a piece driftwood, but it wasn’t for long. A rising wave pushed him off and into the ocean depths.

Katara quickly followed after him beneath the waves, grabbing him just before he could sink any deeper. She brought him up for air and hoped he was still alive. More waves began to crash down on her, but she refused to give up.

With only her waterbending skills and sheer force of she, Katara ploughed her way through the ocean waves, hoping that she could get Zuko to safety, before it was too late…
 

Ganondork

goo
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
I just read Chapter three and four, and both were excellent. Great details, and all. However, you don't always say who says what, and since there is more than just two people, it tends to get slightly confusing. I really liked how you used a song from The Little Mermaid in your fan-fiction. So far, it's an excellent mix of The Little Mermaid and Avatar: The Last Airbender.
 

ChargewithSword

Zelda Dungeon's Critic
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
I don't want to say.
I just read Chapter three and four, and both were excellent. Great details, and all. However, you don't always say who says what, and since there is more than just two people, it tends to get slightly confusing. I really liked how you used a song from The Little Mermaid in your fan-fiction. So far, it's an excellent mix of The Little Mermaid and Avatar: The Last Airbender.
You know, I got that same criticism from another person. I'll have to work on that for subsequent chapters ahead. Thanks for the advice.
 

Ganondork

goo
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
You know, I got that same criticism from another person. I'll have to work on that for subsequent chapters ahead. Thanks for the advice.
No problem. Chapter four of Majora is up. I want your criticism, since I wasn't too impressed by what I wrote.
 

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