Lozoot
Chpt 19:The Sapphire, the Skeletons, and a Siege
Steve stood on top of Jabu-Jabu and took a much deserved breath of fresh air. No more fish guts, no more Baris or juices and most of all, no more Ruto. But when he turned around, but was he saw was so terrible, he was struck by so much fear, that all he could do was fall off and scream “RUTOOOOO!!” Steve would’ve considered himself escaped, but he forgot; he can’t swim well. He barely made it over to a submerged tree and wrapped his limbs around a branch.
“These clothes…Were m-made for cold w-weather!” his said in between shivering. “N-not! Cold, w-water!” Ruto, who was watching from her perch on Jabu, giggled and dived down. She swam over to Steve.
“Hi Link-y!” she cooed.
“Link-y?” Steve asked under his breath. “When did it turn to Link-y?!”
“I’m glad to see that you’re alright!” she said.
“Oh-no, if I was alright, I’d be dead!” Steve hissed. Ruto giggled.
“You’re so funny!” she said happily. “You little cutie!” she said as she pinched his cheek.
“Help…me!” Steve growled in a half whisper to his brothers, who were still on top of the great whale.
“This is great!” John said as he began to eat Popcorn from his hat.
“You have popcorn in your cap?” Malon asked.
“Don’t question it!” James said as he took a handful.
“Hey, share!” Spot whined. John tossed the dog a treat of popcorn. Meanwhile, Steve endured Ruto as much as he could.
“I knew you had a crush on me ever since you caught me…” she went on. “It was only obvious. You’re so much better than your brother. He’s such a coral-head. But you’re witty and funny…”
“For once I wish that wasn’t true!” Steve said as drummed his fingers.
“…And cute!” she added.
“Pfft! Cute?!” Steve asked. “I look just the same as John! or James!”
“But green makes you look so much cuter!” she said as she began to twiddle Steve’s hair.
“Hey! I don’t wanna look, if that’s what you’re thinking! You’re jumpin to conclusions!” Steve said as he began to wave his arms.
“Don’t do that!” Ruto said. “If you let go, you might sink and we’ll get separated!” It was too tempting. Steve was at the bottom of the fountain within a few seconds. But then the thought struck him, is being away from Ruto really more desirable than air?
“Steve!!” James shouted as he prepared to dive. But then John grabbed him.
“Don’t do that, you’ll sink like a rock, boulder-breath!” John said. “Steve’s perfectly safe!”
“With Ruto?!” James asked. “He’s dead!”
“Maybe emotionally,” John said. “But safe.”
“…Yeah, I can’t swim well, anyway.” James said as he sat down.
“It would be nice to see someone help for his brother,” Malon said endearingly.
“…I may be hopeless, but I’m no fool!” James said.
“Hey! Steve’s on the other side of the lake!” Navi cried.
Steve broke the surface. His plan worked; he swam to the other side of the lake without Ruto spotting him, and now he can breath, and was safe. Or so he thought.
“Now Ruto’s swimming over!” Terry added. Steve quickly grew aware of his predicament and dove under water. Ruto followed. There was silence. Then a bubble began to form at the surface. The bubble got bigger… bigger, bigger still, until it burst. *POP---HEEEEEEEELP!!* Steve shot out of the water and streaked down the hall leading back to the Zora Domain. Ruto skipped after him. “This is Zelda, not Pepe la Pew!” Terry said.
“He shot outta there like a toad that just came outta the fryin’ pan!” Malon exclaimed.
“I don’t know what that means, but it works!!” John said.
Later, the party ventured back into the Zora domain. Ruto was running from room to room, calling “Link-y! Link-y!”
“Not to side with Ruto,” James said. “But I wanna know where he is too!”
“Psst!” The group looked up. Steve was hanging by a stalactite on the ceiling. From what he could risk while he hung on, he made rapid gestures to John. John gave his little brother and a-ok.
“Ruto?” he asked. Ruto turned around to reveal a disgusted face.
“What?” she asked.
“Why would you be so interested in Steve if he’s the same as me?” John asked.
“He’s not half as rude as you, he doesn’t pull any pranks, and he’s not a bit as disgusting!”
“Have you seen the way he picks his nose?” John asked. Steve glared from his perch.
“Every love has a few flaws!” Ruto said.
“Alright, if you really wanna know where Steve is, walk ahead and look up!” John said. Steve couldn’t find his voice to scream.
“Hah! I know you!” Ruto said. “I’ll take a step backwards and look down!” Ten seconds later, and Ruto was staring at the floor a few paces away. “…I’m starting to think that you were intending this!” she said. John gave James a signal. James tossed a small bomb at Steve’s stalactite.
“WUaaaah!!” Steve let go just in time as the bomb exploded and hit the stalactite. Steve hit the ground relatively easy, that’s more than I could say for Ruto, who was hit in the head by the fallen Stalactite. James pulled his dazed brother to his feet and rushed him to the door.
“Ruto? Ruto…!” John said quietly as he slapped Ruto’s unconscious face. The rest of the party began to run for the door, except John. “Here ya go!” he shouted as he quickly gave the chamber-pot back to the king. John ran off to quick for the king to respond. “You girls! Get outside and go to the entrance of the lake!” John called. “James, Steve! Follow me! We’re gonna jump for the waterfall!”
“But I’ll sink!” James exclaimed.
“Kinda the point!” John said. James gripped his heart. Ruto began to come to. “Come on! Go Go!” John said as they ran for the waterfall. Before they could run out to the dive however, a battered Ruto jumped in front of him.
“You tricked me!” She shrieked. “You’ve gone down the right road for another Zora-swirly!” This was followed by a maniacal laugh.
“Ruto, wait!” John said meekly. “First, please answer a question! It’s an engagement question…”
“Ooh, what?” Ruto asked as she calmed down.
“What’s A equal if A2+C3=9?!” John blurted out. Ruto paused, but began to hold her head in pain. Brain strain. Steam shot out of her ears as she fell to the floor.
“Are we gonna leave her like that?” James asked.
“Who cares?!” Steve cried. “Jump for it!” The three dove into the water. With what little breath they could hold, John led them through an underwater duct. Within seconds, James saw the blessed form of the surface above his head and rushed for air. The three broke the surface in Lake Hylia, not too far from land where the girls were helping the cart unto Epona, who had been waiting patiently at the lake. James took a deep breath of air as he hit the sand bar.
“Ah… Sweet fresh non-fishy air!” he said as he inhaled. “No more water! Just smooth sailing!” *Rumble!* “…Man I’m thirsty!” James said. “
Mizu…mizu… where could I get some…” James saw something shine in the water. He picked out a bottle that had a note in it. “…Guy’s! Come take a look at this!” James brother’s gathered as he pulled the cork and read the note. “Please help, I’m in the belly of a whale… signed Gan [Scbbled out Ruto…” The group stared. “I’m keeping the bottle,” James said as he threw the note away.
“Now who do we know has handwriting like 1stgrader and writes his ‘E’s backwards?” Steve asked.
“Don’t care,” John said as he took the note and stuffed it into his pouch. The group climbed into the cart, Spot quickly following.
“This is great!” He panted as he stuck his head out of the side. “I haven’t been in a… what do people call ‘em again?”
“Cars?” James said obliviously.
“Yeah, Cats on wheels!” Spot said.
“How does that work…?” Steve asked.
“Have you seen a cat run?” Spot asked. “If you did, then you’d know! Albeit this one is smaller, has no backbone, no front legs, and is being pulled by a dangerously thin grazer!” Epona let out an angry whinny.
“Cow,” Steve corrected.
“I can’t wait to hang the old taster out of a moving object!” Spot whined happily.
“This is terrible!!” Spot whined as he hung his head. Epona’s pace was slow enough to be outrun by a frog. “I though tall-runners were supposed to be fast!”
“Maybe she’s taking it easy on account of being called a cow!” Steve said. Everyone stared at Steve and his strange knowledge. “It’s just intuition…” Steve said with a shrug.
“From someone who doesn’t know the exact meaning of the word, something’s up!” James said.
“That or the fact that she’s carrying eight people, not counting the dog!” Steve said.
“But there’s nobody else here!” Impa said.
“This is on the child scale, Impa,” Steve said.
“Oh…Okay,” There was a pause. “I like you better then your elder!” Impa said while she patted Steve’s head. “You’re not as rude.”
“With all do respect…” Steve said, “I haven’t been brave enough, yet…” Steve’s eyes widened. “Guys, I just realized something. Who has the sapphire?” everyone gasped. James felt his pouch and shook his head. Steve screamed. “I’m not going back there!” he said. “Neither am I!” the rest of the party mumbled.
“Actually…” John said. “I took advantage of all those times we got the better of Ruto and…”
“You didn’t!” James exclaimed. John held out the sapphire.
“She’ll never miss it!” he said with a smug look on his face.
“Who here’s hungry?” James broke in. A few raised their hands. “Good I brought snacks!” James reached into his wallet.
“If you’re not gonna take out something that’s not a Rupee, not interested!” Malon said. James sighed and threw a rupee into his mouth.
“I’m hungry…” Zelda moaned.
“What are we gonna do, fish?” John asked. Pause. “Look!” There was a small house in the distance with a large sign next to it, with big letters saying ‘Fishing pond; where you coincidentally need to be!’
“…How does he know that we need to go there?” Navi asked.
“That wasn’t there before,” James said with confusion in his voice.
The group stepped into the small house, to see that it wasn’t much of a house, but only a barrier to a large pond. There was a counter with empty tanks behind it, and there was a middle-aged man behind it too.
“Welcome!” he called. “The fishing pond is wide open! All you can fish for just twenty rupees! Step right up!” James walked over to the counter.
“Good day,” he said politely. James spotted the man’s nametag. James’ eyes widened when he read. “G-Ganny?!”
“Oh, Gannivonni, it’s a family name,” he said as he held it up. James stood puzzled.
“This isn’t yours, is it?” John asked as he held out the crumpled note. The man read the note and nodded.
“Yep, I wrote that! A little late to rescue me, though…” John paused after he heard this.
“But how did Ruto get in the signature?” he asked. Ganny shrugged.
“Beats me. Anyone could’ve found it. I didn’t have enough time to finish it anyway.”
“You were in the belly of a whale?!” Steve asked.
“Jabu-Jabu, long and messy story, I don’t wanna talk about it.” Ganny straightened his shirt. “Now then, who would like to fish? You can keep the specimen, or store it here, and if you’re lucky (and I mean Lucky) you could catch the rare Hylian loach! So who’ll step right up?!” James cleared his throat and pointed at the desk. There was a red rupee on the counter. Ganny turned and saw Steve was already fishing. “Well, why didn’t little boy blue take a chance at it?” he asked as he looked at John.
“ ‘Cause little boy blue hates fish!” John replied.
“NO! Shh! Quiet! The fish could’ve heard that!” Ganny said urgently.
“Woah!!” Steve caught a fish and began to pull at the rod.
“Pull and reel, kid!” Ganny called. “That’s the way to catch a fish!” Steve was pulled in. Ganny began to scratch his arms. But soon he began to scratch like crazy.
“You feeling alright?” Terry asked.
“Yeah sorry, I have a rare skin condition, whenever I think of the Hylian Loach, my skin breaks out. Makes me itch. I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“So, you’ve been ‘itchin’ for someone to catch it?” Impa asked. Ganny glared at her as he scratched his back. “Oh… that’s another fish of the hook,” Impa said with a sigh. Ganny froze.
“Oh… a fish joke… tell another one!” he begged. Gaia groaned.
“This is worse than watching Terry grow grass!”
“I caught it!” the group turned and saw Steve carrying a large greenish fish. “I caught the loach!”
“DROP THAT! That’s my employee of the month!” Ganny screamed.
“Wha--?!” the fish smacked Steve with its tail and flopped back into the water.
“That’s my employee!” Ganny said as he hopped out of his desk. “I pay him by the hour to not get caught!”
“You named him Loachy?” John asked.
“No, his mom did!” Ganny said. “Who do think named him, the dad?” Steve was too confused to stop Ganny from running past. “I told you not to get cocky!” Ganny growled as he pointed at the water. “You’re not getting that Christmas bonus because of this, hear me?!” his answer was a squirt of water in his face. Ganny shuddered and walked away.
“That’s my fish!!” Steve cried as he tried to leap back into the water. But John picked up the rod and hooked Steve by the pants. “Oh…!” Steve stood paralyzed.
“Come on bro, we can find someplace else to eat!” John said.
“Could you let go?” Steve asked. “I’m getting a hooked-wedgie!”
“Oh, pardon me!” John let go and Steve fell into the water, again.
***
On the other side of the lake, two figures broke the surface. It was Slime and Slick, the Lizalfos from the two dungeons.
“I HATE alternate openings!” Slick, the thinner of the two said as he began to dog-paddle.
“Whales should clean their noses!” Slime, the plumper, said as he reached for a piece of Land to grab unto. But the piece of land he grabbed had two giant boots on it. The two looked up and saw a large Moblin looking down on them.
“Good day, good sirs!” It said in a British-accent. “Now then, how about the Sapphire? We agreed that you would deliver the gem to me in exactly twenty-four hours, now then, please may I have the gem? The G-man offered me good money for it!” The two Brothers looked at each other.
“Yeah, about that…” Slime said.
“We’ll have to give it to you Friday. Sorry, we lost track of it after some---GYA!!” The two found themselves being lifted out of the water by the neck.
“That’s funny,” The Moblin said. “I could’ve sworn we agreed on a day’s time, not four!” his accent diminished with every word. “It would’ve been much healthier for both of us if you followed the plan!” He said as his grip tightened. He released his grip and let the Lizalfos drop to the ground in front of him.
“Wait!” Slick croaked. “It’s not our fault! There were three boys! Dressed like Peter Pan, and their crazy dog attacked us!”
“Dogs don’t attack, they take little bites!” The moblin said.
“What? Little Bites?” The lizalfos held up his disfigured tail. “Does this look like little bites to you?!” The moblin snarled. “Wait! This might help us find the three! They wore the three colors of the Hylian flag!”
“WHAT?!” The Moblin grabbed the two and held them up by the heads. “Are you to tell me that the Tri-Bros are already here?! Prematurely?! And with the rock?!”
“We’d tell you more.” Slime squealed. “But your sausage fingers, are crushing, my skull!” The Moblin snorted as he dragged the two away.
“…Where are we going?” Slick asked.
***
Outside the house there was a high ledge. A ledge that could be used to dive into the water. The group stood at the top, while Steve had a long elastic rope tied to his ankle, which was tied to a small post. Steve was preparing to dive as the party and some on looking Zoras chanted “LINK! LINK! LINK! LINK! LINK!” Ganny ran outside and stared in amazement.
“What in the name of Jabu are ya doing?!” he cried.
“I, Link Steve Heroda, am going to dive into the water using this elastic bungee rope, and grab with my own hands, a rare hylian catfish, right off of its sea-floor home!” Ganny scurried up the ledge.
“You can’t do that!” he said. “This is still my land! You can’t do anything crazy on my land!” Steve prepared to dive, but Ganny grabbed him and pulled off the rope letting it fall to the ground. “This is my property! No one will do anything suicide, on, my… property…!” Ganny began to lose his balance. James reached out to grab his arm, but Ganny fell down the ledge, with the rope snaking around his leg. “AUUUGH-HA-AUUUGH!” the group watched in awe as he fell into the water, sprang out into the air, and landed on the ledge. He lay there with a fish in his mouth.
“You don’t wanna talk about it I take it?” James asked. Ganny spat the fish out, landing it not too far from James’ feet.
“I HATE SUSHI!” He growled.
***
After a small meal of fried and seasoned fish, the party set out back to Hyrule field. Epona trotted more quickly this time. John finished his substitute apple and tossed the core. Malon had already told Epona to ‘go to work,’ so Epona was pulling the cart in the direction of the castle. Malon counted the profit they had made selling the milk.
“This isn’t good…” she said quietly.
“What isn’t?” James asked.
“We only made 12 rupees profit! Pa said we had to make 20 or I wouldn’t be able to leave the ranch for a while, remember?” James nodded. “We only made twelve…” The group was silent.
“Oh well, that’s the end of farm girl.” Terry said. Gaia slapped Terry away, sending him into the ground, just in front of Epona. The squishing sound was very audible. Everyone paused.
“We can do without her, right?” Steve asked. James stomped on Steve’s foot in response as he reached into his wallet. He handed Malon two blue rupees. Malon stared.
“Where’d you get these?” she asked.
“Grass,” James answered. “You should try it.” James said, looking away.
“Aren’t you the little love-bird?!” Terry mocked as he managed to catch up with the cart.
“Why don’t you give her more?”
“Then it’d be like lying!” James said.
“…I should probably get back to the ranch,” Malon said. “Pa should be worried.” Epona began to quicken her pace.
“With all do respect,” James said. “I think that the urgency of the three stones demands that we should get to the town as soon as possible.”
“Oh, that’s a shame,” Malon said. “I was going to give you a goodbye-kiss!”
“Guys! We’re changin’ course!” James called. John smacked James to bring him to his senses.
“BAKA!” John said angrily. “The town, then the ranch, kay Malon?” John asked. Malon nodded. Epona let out a groan, whinny thingy.
Some time began to pass, and night began to fall. Steve began to grow tired. He lay down on the side of the wagon and tried to rest, but some awful singing caught his ear.
“Oh gimme a home! Where the people don’t roam! Where the animals don’t work all day!” Steve was too awe struck by the utter awfulness to ask who it came from.
“M-Malon?” Steve asked. His answer was a snore. Malon was asleep. In fact, everyone was asleep. And to his amusement, Impa, the top-duty body-guard, was too. The fairies were curled in a ball in James’ lap, initially sleeping, and Spot was sleeping too. Steve shakily looked the Horse. “E-Epona?” he asked.
“What?” Steve stared. “What? No order? Hmf! Its not like you can hear me anyway!”
“I can…” Steve said.
“Yeah, there you go and… can?!” Epona slowed down a little. “That’s impossible!”
“I could talk to Spot,” Steve said.
“Anyone could understand that old mutt!” Epona said with a snort.
“Hey!” Spot woke up and frowned at Epona. “I resemble that remark!” Spot paused. “And who’s you to call me old? You don’t look to different from Katana-Mama!” To everyone’s surprise, Impa didn’t react, even in her sleep. Steve assumed that his life in the forest had something to do with it, but he ignored it. He even began to have nice chats with Epona. Secrets about Ingo, Mido, and Talon were exchanged and laughed at. Steve began to laugh out loud at one of the jokes Epona made. Malon looked at the two half-asleep.
“Keep talkin’ to yourself like that and people will think you’re crazy!” She said.
“I’m not that worried about stuff like that, Malon,” Steve said.
“I wasn’t talkin’… to you,” Malon said as she fell back asleep. Now it was Steve’s turn to question someone’s sanity. It was soon completely night, and the view of the castle came into view. But Epona suddenly jerked to a stop. Epona wasn’t saying anything.
John turned in his sleep. He rolled unto his back and began to suck his thumb. But then he noticed that his thumb tasted… bitter. Awfully bitter. John made faces in his sleep as he digested the information; eventually he winced and opened his eyes a little, and beheld a skeletal little creatyre in front of him, and whose thumb he was sucking. John sat up and faced the creature.
“Excuse me, do you like fetch?” He asked.
“Kiiindaaa…” The creature breathed. John tried not to gag at the creature’s breath.
“Well, my dog, just loves fetch!” John said. He tore off one of the creature’s bare ribs and threw it out of the cart. Spot Jumped to his feet and ran after it with the creature in hot pursuit. John got to his feet and saw that the cart was surrounded by these creatures. “Everyone wake up!” John called. “IT’S THE STALKIDS!!”
[video=youtube;CgJo1Ss3gck]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgJo1Ss3gck[/video]
James was immediately aware (out of practice) and jumped to his feet. Zelda slowly raised her head, only to just get missed by one of James’ sword slashes. A Stalkid’s head was knocked off and landed chattering next to Malon. Malon woke up and screamed at the sight, and pulled a… pitchfork, out of thin air and whammed it in the head. Everyone got out of the cart and moved cautiously around the horde of creatures that were surrounding the cart. Malon repelled another Stalkid with her pitchfork.
“Where’d you get that?” Zelda asked.
“I keep a stash of tools hidden throughout the cart just in case,” Malon said as she stabbed a Stalkid. She hit the Stalkid right in the funny bone.
“Ge-yahahahahaha!” The Stalkid fell to the ground and began to squirm on the gorund, wailing “Make it stop!!” he wailed.
“Could you pull something out for me?” Zelda asked as she pushed a Stalkid away from her. Malon pulled a long stick from the axle of the cart and handed it to Zelda. Zelda stared. “A bo? Seriously?” Malon pulled a wickedly long blade from the stick that acted like a sheath. “Woah! Why does a farm girl need something like this?”
“You don’t wanna know,” Malon said. Meanwhile, John held up his shield and repelled some Stalkids while James began to outflank a single Stalkid.
“Wait… what’s with the song?” he asked. “And a bunch of colored heroes, fighting a swarm of identical enemies? This is Zelda, not Power Rangers! We don’t even know Karate!” Two Stalkids ran up to John, only for him to jump and do a mid-air split-kick, sending them flying. John hit the ground and tried not to scream from the pain of doing a splits. John saw that James was having trouble with the Stalkid and ran to the other side.
“Double whammy?” John asked. “You’re on!” James said as he readied his position. The Stalkid looked both ways as the two brothers ran towards him and jumped into the air.
“Uh-oh…”
Steve jumped into the air and began to run one everyone of the Stalkid’s heads. “Onetwothreefourfive…” Steve knocked over a whole group with one kick. “’Lost count… nya-haha!”
The chaos ensued. But then one Stalkid held up his hand. “Enough…” it moaned. It held out his boney hand. “Ted…” it moaned. A headless Stalkid approached the group, pointing at its lack of a cranium. John looked at the party. They nodded. John carefully pulled out his souvenir Stalkid skull and placed it on the Skeleton’s head, backwards. The Stalkid cracked it back into proper position. “Now… we are complete…” The Stalkids said as they began to leave. “…TO DO THIS!!” The Stalkids grabbed each other and merged into a giant Stalkid! The group could only stare.
“What’d I miss?” Impa asked as she woke up… but then she saw the Stalkid giant. “W-ah!” Spot looked up, and his mouth began to drool like crazy.
“Look… at… all… those… Bones!!” Spot said as he jumped at the giant, effectively tearing off the funny bone. The Stalkid began to hold its ribcage, but began to laugh like crazy! “Was it something I said?” Spot asked. But when he looked back at the Stalkid, it had laughed itself to pieces, the bones burning away.
“Well that was fun,” James said as he sheathed his sword. Everyone stretched and yawned as they began to climb back into the cart.
“Thank goodness, I thought they were going to eat me!” Epona whinnied. Steve ignored her. After a short while, they arrived at the gates of the City. Impa stretched as she unlatched the gate. There was a red glow above the city.
“Oh look, they’re having a party!” Impa said. James froze.
“That’s not a party, those are flames!” James shouted as he ran through the gate, the others close behind.
***
There was indeed a large fire, but it was in the center of town, and everyone was holding hands and dancing around it. James looked sheepishly at the others, and was smacked by John. Steve tugged at one of the people’s sleeves.
“What’s cooking?” he asked.
“The logs!” the person replied. “We’re having a party!” James was smacked again.
“What for?” Steve asked.
“We’re celebrating! We’re under siege!” Steve blinked twice, and tried to laugh, but he knew what he heard. The group heard rumbling and turned to see a large amount of Monsters coming from the direction of the castle. “Here they are!” the people called. “Places everyone… AAAAH!” They ran wildly but unconvincingly. The monsters, which consisted mainly of Lizalfos and Stalfos, came into view of the bonfire.
“That stuff the G-man put in the food supply worked like a charm!” It said. “Now the town’s as dumb as a post!”
“Oh…” Zelda said. “…I’m glad I went with you guys.”
“So am I,” John said.
“THE PRINCESS!” One of them called. “There she is! Grab the ocarina!”
“Excuse me!” John shouted as he ran over. “Are the ones who are making us go under siege?” he asked.
“…Yes! Yes we are!” A Lizalfos said in a childish voice.
“Can I have your autograph?” John asked as he held out a notepad.
“Oh, sure…! Uh, got a pen?” it asked.
“Right here!” John said as he held out a quill feather, and stabbed it in the Lizalfos’ arm!
“AUUUGH! He broke my wrist bone!” it wailed as it held its arm. The group fled as fast as they could before hiding in an alley.
“Alright, we need to do something and then regroup!” John said. “It’s too risky to stay a group for now!”
“But… we’ve been through so much!” James said. “I don’t wanna split now!”
“James, we all know you’re talking about Malon, shushup,” John said. “The three of us will go to the temple of Time and do the whatever song and get going before Ganondorf does!” “Impa! Take the girls and get outta here! Spot…! You’re going with them.”
“But I don’t wanna go with them!” Spot moaned.
“You’ll get a bunch of chicken bones if you do it!”
“Yeah, but…” Spot walked closer to John. “I love you guys…” he whined. John and the others began to stroke him.
“Aw, we love you too, pal!” James said. Spot drew back and straightened himself.
“Alright!” He barked.
“Who am I kidding?” John said. “This is a dream! Nothing could happen to us!” The others pretended not to notice. “Impa, find the nearest horse you can find and get Zelda outta here!” John said as they group began to move. “Malon, I’m assuming that you can get your own way out!” Malon nodded. “Alright, let’s get a move on!” John said as they broke out of the alley.
As the girls and dog went one way, the boys went another, but stopped dead at the sound of horse hoofs. “She couldn’t have found one that fast!” John said. But James shoved his brothers out of the way just in time as a skeletal horse rushed by and pulled to a stop. Atop the horse was a large dark man, with an unmistakable colored skin; olive green.
“Hello, children!” Ganondorf cackled. The boys kept a stern face. “Oh, isn’t it magnificent! My first real siege! I think I did a good job! Those monster trainers really outdid themselves!”
“Hey, Ganondorf!” John called as he held out his kazoo. “I never got the chance to play my song of pranks on you!” TOO TAA! TOO TAAAA! Gandondorf held out his hand as energy erupted from it. A charred lemon meringue pie fell to the ground. Ganondorf laughed.
“You’re all out attack the last time we met was all I needed for a little extra training!” Ganondorf said. John clapped his hands.
“Oh goodie! You’ve gotten better… (Guys! That was my last trick! We’re in trouble!)” John muttered. The horse took a step forward.
“Nice horse!” James said.
“You like it?” Ganondorf asked. “It’s a Stallion, get it? Stal-lion?” James spat out a rock he was chewing on and threw it at Ganondorf, only for it to disintegrate a moment later. Steve took out his slingshot and took aim; Ganondorf mockingly held out his chin. *THWWPT!*! “Gah! I guess my magic didn’t work since that was an actual attack and not a prank!”
“Well actually I’m just a bad shot!” Steve said. Ganondorf held out his hand.
“Maybe it’s the slingshot,” Ganondorf said. “Let me look at it.” Steve held out his slingshot. *Whack!* Steve was it face-first into the ground as he heard the horse gallop away. “So long, Boys! I’ve gotta princess to kidnap! And put in a castle! I should hire a dragon…” Steve’s brothers helped him to his feet.
“Steve! Why’d you let him hit you like that?!” James asked. Steve eyed his brother.
“Because he said please!” Steve replied in utter sarcasm.
“I’m starting to think that this dream isn’t that safe!” John said. The boys paid no attention as they got ready to split up.
“Hey guys, a thought just occurred to me,” Steve said. “I think this G-man they talk about is really Ganondorf!” His brothers gave him a hard look. “…What?”
John and James slowly walked through the empty town. All the buildings were bolted shut.
“Oh shoot!” John said. “We forgot to return the masks to the happy-guy freak!” But James spotted from behind the bushes bright red hair and two bloodshot eyes peering out at them.
“Uh, John!” James said.
“Ignore!” John said.
“But John! He’s…”
“I didn’t say I didn’t see him, I said ignore!” John said as he shoved James away. From behind the bushes, two pale hands clutched the brush, and out peered an unforgettable face and an unwavering grin “I didn’t get my money yet…”
“Oh shoot!” James said. “We forgot to get the Ocarina of time!”
“…-Oh Snap-!!”
Steve slowly approached the Temple of Time, which looked like a mighty cathedral, against a red-brown sky with purple lighting flashing every which way. But aside from the giggling gossip stones, it actually looked welcoming. Steve took a step closer, but a chill swept through the air. He took another and another chill hit his back. He slowly turned and looked with horror to see that wasn’t the wind, but breath, from a Stalfos. The black and red eyes glared down on Steve from his skeletal body. Steve nervously smiled.
[video=youtube;eHCGgdnpiw8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHCGgdnpiw8[/video]
“Sorry, I need to get going…” Steve took a step back, and the Stalfos crept forward. He took another step backward, and the Stalfos took another step forward. But Steve grew wise; odds were the Stalfos was mimicking his movements, so all he had to do was step forward until the Stalfos was far back enough for him to run, Steve took a step forward, and the Stalfos was right in front of him. Steve nervously smiled up at the Stalfos, and the warrior smiled sinisterly back. “Where are your annoying older brothers when you need them?” Steve asked.
“Mine are in the grave, as of now…” The skeleton replied. “Their having a timeout!” Steve nodded and turned around to walk for the temple, but the Stalfos grabbed him and turned him around. “There’s going to be a fight, isn’t there?” Steve asked. The Stalfos nodded. Steve readied his sword as the Stalfos drew his blade. The Stalfos began to march back and forth, chortling to himself. Steve carefully kept the monster z-targeted, but the creature lunged forward and hit Steve away with his shield. Steve quickly recovered and rushed back, and the two began to clash swords. Soon the two were grinding blades. “I was honestly hoping for someone at least a little taller,” The stalfos said. “I’ve heard that you’re the shortest of the three!” Steve shoved back, his teeth grinding. “DON’T CALL ME SHORT!” he growled as he shoved out of the lock and landed some hits, followed by the spin attack! The stalfos jumped back, but paused and looked at his chest. “Ah! One… two… I’ve only got two ribs left!” Steve ran forward and pulled one of the two remaining ribs leaving stalfos with one left. “Make that one…” Steve jabbed the skeleton in the neck, which in turn was the spinal cord. Steve locked the bone in place and jumped back. The stalfos struggled. “What did you do to me? I can’t move…” The stalfos whined
“Good, that means its working. Now then, have you heard of the Kokiri style of defense?” Steve asked.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, most of my family comes from the woods,” The Skeleton said.
“Then do you know of the Death point technique?” Steve asked. The Stalfos’ eyes widened.
“What that?” he asked.
“It’s a pressure point technique that when poked right under the nose…” Steve said as he got his finger dangerously close. “Can cause a chain reaction that will make all the bones in the body literally fall apart!”
“You couldn’t…” The stalfos sneered.
“I could!” Steve said.
“You shouldn’t…”
“I shall!” *Poin!* Even to Steve’s surprise, the technique worked, and the Stalfos began to fall apart. Steve readied his sword. “Hissatsu, my Hissatsu attack, Berserker version!” Steve unleashed a flurry of slashes from his sword, swiping away the brittle stalfos, until nothing but his head was left.
“*Ptoie!* Aw… Great!” The stalfos groaned as it spit out some teeth. Steve kicked the head away and put his sword back.
“I hope that didn’t take too long…” Steve said as he walked up to the Temple. But then he heard more foot steps. Steve immediately turned around and held his sword to the neck of the person who approached; James! And John was behind him!
“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry about the Shoe-tying rhyme!” James said. Steve put the sword back.
“What took you?” he asked. “I had to deal with that Stalfos on my own!”
“Oh, the skull that was cursing us,” John said. “We saw him hopping towards the castle. Should we go back and crush him?” James shook his head. “We’ll have plenty time for that. Let’s go in.” The group approached the temple, but they heard something. They turned around and saw Spot sitting behind them.
“I followed you to the temple because I love you…” he whined meekly.
“Aw, we wuv you too, buddy!” James said while he patted Spot’s head. “Did Malon—ah the girls get out?”
“Um, actually…” Just then, Impa and Zelda burst from out of the bushes, covered in burrs and scratches.
“Zelda insisted on helping you guys with this!” Impa said. “And Malon said she wanted to come and see what happens!”
“Then where’s Malon?” John asked.
“…Oh,” Impa turned around and there was Malon, clinging to her back. “She had a little run in with some bugs...”
“Where?! WHERE?!” Malon screamed as she jumped off of Impa’s back and looked around. John sighed.
“I guess since I forgot the Ocarina, you can come!” John said. “But let’s make it quick! That Stalfos is going to rat on us if we don’t move!”
“Actually, I think they should stay behind,” James said. “We already have this covered.”
“I wanna go inside!” Malon said as she ran up and fearfully grabbed James’ arm. “There aren’t any bugs in there, right?!”
“Go right in!” James said. John stared at James. “What?”
“BAKA!” was his reply.
The group entered the Temple and looked around. Every tile was gleaming and reflective. Pillars of marble were placed in two rows, running from the back of the temple to the entrance, and at the end; a wall with the emblem of hyrule on it, and in front of it stood a large pedestal.
“Ooh, a red carpet, someone must be expecting us!” Steve said. No one listened. Zelda walked ahead and looked at the pedestal.
“This is what opens the gate of time.” She said. “Boys, present to me the stones.” The boys held out their respective stones.
“We didn’t make this clear, what’s supposed to happen again?” Steve asked. Just then, the stones flew out of their hands and aligned on the pedestal. Zelda turned to the boys.
“Now all that’s left is that we play the melody.” She said.
“Zelda’s lullaby?” James asked. Zelda shook her head.
“No, the song of time. I haven’t told you of it yet.”
“You don’t have to,” John said. “We played the video-game!”
“I’ve had it!” Impa growled as she grabbed John by the collar. “How do you know these things?! And what is a video?”
“Oh Spotty!” John called. “Impa’s not playing nice!”
“OKAY OKAY!” Impa said as she dropped John and backed off.
“Even if you know the song,” Zelda said. “The melody must be accompanied by the voice royal blood.”
“You mean you’re going to sing it?!” Steve asked, a little nervous.
“Yep, it has lyrics.” The boys gave Zelda a look. “Kay so I made them up, but still…” The boys’ look hardened. “I really wanted to sing…” Zelda said with big eyes.
“Go right ahead!” John said. James looked hard at his brother. “What?”
“BAKA!” James snapped. John reared back in offense.
“Er-hm!” The boys looked back and readied their instruments. “Wait!” Zelda said. She held out the Ocarina of Time. “Someone needs to play this. John ran over to grab it, but Steve shoved him away. Steve grabbed the ocarina.
“I am the green one!” he said. The others meekly nodded. Steve walked back to the others and got ready to play. “One… two… Three!”
[video=youtube;qeCEg8aPLco]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeCEg8aPLco[/video]
“Imo…to Mira…I Merodi wa Uta no Toki...” Zelda sang. There was a pause. Then rumbling filled the temple. The gems began to glow and rotate, and the wall at the end of the temple flashed, and in a moment, it was gone. The rumbling stopped. The wall revealed a small chamber. The group approached and looked inside.
“That’s a lot of light,” Spot said. The boys walked forward and saw a sword with a purple hilt driven into the center of the room… oh who am I kidding? It was the master sword! Everyone knows that!
“Kay, ‘a sword in the stone,’ who didn’t see this coming?” John asked.
“If it’s a sword in the stone, then that means that only one person can pull it out!” Steve said. *Woosh!* too late. John ran over first. With a cackle, John grabbed the sword, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled. It didn’t budge. John sighed and backed away. Then James ran over. But the pulling became so difficult that he resorted to push it out by the hilt all to no avail. “None of you could do it?” Steve asked. “Does that mean… it’s me?” he asked. He walked forward and reached for the hilt. He could hear majestic music playing in his mind… He pulled at the Sword and it moved! He pulled harder and it didn’t move… and the music ripped off like record player. Steve let go and looked at the sword with a sigh. “Why?” he asked. The sword slid back into place. “AAH!!” Steve drew his sword and wildly slashed at the sword.
“Oh, my!” Impa gasped. “He scarred the sacred blade!” Steve looked closely and saw that there was a small gash; that closed up on its own!! Steve stared.
“Maybe it would work if we all do it,” James said.
“Oh, yeah sure!” John said as they all approached the sword and grabbed the handle. “Let’s all grab this together, what kind of idea is--!” *VYUUM!* Light filled the room, and that was the last thing John and James saw… for a few minutes. The two shook their heads as their vision returned. They looked around and saw that Steve and the Master Sword were gone. James reached out and waved in the space.
“John, we didn’t happen to be touching anybody, did we?” James asked. John shook his head. Suddenly a black-red portal opened up, sending energy everywhere. John and James held their ground against the surge of energy.
“…Where are the girls?” John asked.
“AAAH!” The two turned around and just saw the girls and Spot leave the temple.
“You know what?” James asked. “I’m starting to thing that Ganondorf got in the sacred realm!”
“*GASP* So was I!” John exclaimed.
“…-AAAAAAHH-!!!!” The two ran out of the Temple as fast as they could. They played the game. Odds were Steve was in the sacred realm, and wouldn’t be out for a couple of years. But until then, the two would have to hold their ground. If this is the way things worked out, then they’d have to let the events in the game get executed. Until then, they’d have to live without their little younger Brother, Steve. As the group ran outside they heard the last thing they’d expect from John.
“I WANNA WAKE U-UP!!”
Child Saga~Fin