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Zelda Art The Legend of Zelda: ........Lozoot?

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
Sorry, Cucco Power, but it took us more than a week to do the last one, so though we'll try to get the next chapter soon, it won't be ASAP, maybe a week or so, sorry :(, but I'm glad to see you like it:).
 

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
Finally! Done!:)
Chpt 11: A small village, some medium-sized Tektites, and a very BIG problem

“That was fun!” Malon said as she pulled Epona to a stop. They had just entered Kakariko village; the first stop up Death Mountain. “I never knew driving half across the field could be so much fun!”

“Yeah,” James said as he hopped out of the wagon. “I never had so much fun ever since we ran outta Hyrule castle!”

“You call running from a vocally disabled guard ‘fun’?!” Steve cried in disbelief.

“How are you guys doing?” James called to the others. The other three wobbled out of the wagon, moaning and groaning, and their faces began to change color. Gaia looked at the three and began to laugh.

“Oh-ho! That’s a good trick!” he exclaimed. ”I wish I could turn green like that!”
“You look like you need something in your tummy,” Gaia said to Impa as he held something up. “A nice, dry piece of Salt-pork”

“S-Saltp-porkl!!!” Impa cried as she held her mouth and ran for a place to hurl.
***
A village man (named Pete) was keeping watch of the town’s well. Shooing away any animals or people who might mess with the water. A rat scurried over and lowered his head to drink, until Pete saw it and began to kick at it until it left. Then a pigeon fluttered down and was about to make a pit-stop, but it was shooed away too. Pete waited a while, and no more intruders came. He was about to leave when he saw a woman running towards the well, holding her mouth as if she was about to hurl.

“No-No! Wait!” he called as the lady ducked her head into the well. “That’s our drinking water-” *THWWPTH!!* “—No! No! Daw! Forget it! I QUIT!” He yelled as he picked up his bag and left.

“… I’m not cleanin’ that up!” Gaia said in disgust. Impa turned around and glared at Gaia.

“OH! Yes you are!!” she yelled as she took out a Katana and was about to bring it down on Gaia, but Gaia held out a picture of a cart on a field and began to sway it back and forth.

“It was a terrible storm! The winds struck the wagon, rocking it back and forth, rocking, rocking…” Gaia said in an alluring voice, and Impa started to groan again. “—Aw, Impa’s turning green again!” He said pitifully. Impa ran for the well again, and threw up in it right next to the new guard. The guard almost fainted at the sight of it.

“I QUIT!!” He exclaimed. “THEY DON’T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS!!”

“—Then ask for a raise,” John suggested… wait! How’d that happen again? The guard jumped at the sight of John.

“Dah!!” the guard screamed.

“Why does everyone scream when I walk up to them?” John asked.

“Because most people get scared when others walk up to them in secret!” The guard replied before walking away. John watched for a moment as the guard left.

“Yeah!?” He called. “Then you’d get scared outta your wits at the Zora realm! Everybody does it like that there!!”

“I hate fish! So I won’t go there anyway!!” the guard replied. Impa pulled herself to her feet and groaned.

“Shouldn’t we get going to Death Mountain?” James asked.

“Not yet…” Impa said. “We should refill on supplies first, for example, we need ‘real’ shields.”

“Why?” John asked as he took out a metallic scale out of his bag. “I got all the protection I need with this Scale shield!” James opened up his bag and heaved out a shield made of rock.

“… I got this Goron-Shield…” James said before noticing a note on the shield. He took of the note and read it aloud. “Dear James, here is another snack… One basalt shield.
~Mammy~
PS: When you get to Kakariko town, buy me a new stove”
James stared at the note, shrugged and put it back in his bag.

“I’ve got my trusty Kokiri-Shield!” Steve said as he took out his shield. Impa shook her head.

“Those won’t do for Death Mountain,” she said. “We need ‘real’ shields, made of Hylian Chrome, the toughest stuff around.”

“Like Chrome-digizoid?” James asked.

“Oh, shush-up!” Impa said. “We’re in Zelda, not Digimon!”

“Alright!” John said. “You guys go to the store and get some hylian shields.”

“What about you?” Steve asked.

“I know a place where I can get one cheap,” John said as he walked away. James stared silently after his brother.

“And let us waste our wallets on shields over here?!” he called.

“Yep,” John answered. “But if the girls want protection, buy three extra shields, and that includes Impa.”

“Oh, I’m not that young, sonny,” Impa said humbly.

“I’m not wasting the money I stole from Mido on girls!” Steve rejected.

“Oh, Yes you are!” James said as he shoved Steve into the shop.
***
“Why do I have to pay?” Steve asked defiantly. The two were in the shop. And Steve was the one with the check.

“You’re paying because I ate all the rupees that Mammy gave me!” James replied.

“But look at this check!” Steve complained as he gave James the slip of paper.

________________________
Kakariko department store
________________________
Purchase:
Hylian Shield: 80
Hylian Shield: 80
Hylian Shield: 80
Tax:10x3
=============
Total: 240+30=270
________________
James stared at the bill. It was, a little more than he expected.

“Why is there an extra shields?” James asked.

“ ’Cause Terry told me that Malon wanted one,” Steve answered.

“What about Lass?” James asked.

“She’s a princess!” Steve replied. “Who protects a princess?” Steven asked.

“Hmm…” James murmured. “You’ve got a point, she’s got that walking shield to protect her!”

“Shh!” Steve shushed. “She might’ve heard that!”

“She’s at the Wagon with Lass!” James replied. “There’s no way she could’ve--” *K-chin!* James stopped dead at the sight of a Sheikah shuriken thrown into wall.

“Hey, if you kids are being chased by thieves, or somethin’, ” The cashier said. “I’d like you to leave the store…”

“—Can’t we take the shields if you want us out?” Steve asked.

“I want at least a large Red rupee!” The cashier replied. Steve searched his pockets, but he didn’t have the worth or a solid red rupee. Steve eyed James suspiciously. James gulped, looked at the cashier, and sighed.

“…Do you have any fur-ball medicine…?” James asked nervously.

“Yeah… here’s a free-sample,” the cashier said as he handed James a small pill. “Why would you want something like that—Kid, what are you doing? No-No-No! Don’t eat that… Daw! There it went! Hey, you feelin’ okay? Hey, I can get you a barf-bag if you want, but – Hey! No-no! Not on the rug – Daw! Forget it!!” James handed the cashier a rather repulsive big red rupee. The two took the shields and left the shop. “Pleasure doin’ business with you! He he… Heh,” The cashier dropped the rupee into a trash-can and took out a mop.
***
The two approached the wagon where the girls and Impa were waiting. James dropped the three shields into the wagon, and Epona let out a shocked grunt.

(“Watch it! I’m haulin’ this thing!”) she shot, but of course it was all in whinnies and spurts, so the others didn’t understand a word. Impa continually stared at James.

“For your information…” She said. “I can do whatever I want! I am NOT a walking shield!! I am a fully grown disciplined Sheikah woman! Darn proud of it, too! And YOU! You need to be disciplined!”

“I am the most disciplined example of a Goron child that you’re going to find!!” James said pride fully.

“Disciplined?” Impa said in surprise. “I bet Gorons are disciplined enough to roll down a mountain, with no care in the world, wrecking whatever they want.” *THWUMP!* *THWUMP!* The group saw an orange boulder rolling down the mountain-side.

“Well… yeah,” James answered. Impa stood in horror at the Goron and at James.

“Nyah… You’re hopeless!” she said as she cracked open a coconut like a soda-can and began to drink.

“…Where’s John?” Steve asked. *KABOOOM!!!* Everyone turned and saw a small object flying through the air with smoke trailing behind it.

“Look out below!!!” Came John’s voice as the object began to plummet towards the group. James looked closer at the object.

“Hey…!” he said. “It’s John, and he’s hangin’ ten on an old shield!!”

“WHO CARES?!” Steve cried. “HE’S COMING FOR US! EVERBODY HIT THE DIRT!!” everyone got out of the way as John fell in a cloud of smoke and dust. As the dust cleared, John began to yell and shake violently.

“GET IT OFF!!” He yelled as he pulled a ReDead off of his back and threw it into the shop.

“EEEEEEK!!” screamed the shop-owner. The ReDead ran out and turned around.

“O, I’m SoRrY SiR! ShOuLd I cOmE bAcK ToMoRrOw?” it asked.

“GETTOUT!!” The shop-owner screamed as he threw a broom at it, chasing it away.

“FiNe! I’Ll Go HoMe!!” the ReDead said as it walked into the graveyard. Everyone watched the thing go, and then turned to look at John. *KABOOM!* Another explosion erupted and another ReDead fell to the ground. Then an aqua-colored orb with wings fought its way out of its mouth. The orb began to attack the ReDead.

“Try to eat me, huh?” It asked as it attacked the ReDead (you’ve probably figured out that the orb is Gaia). “Well, take THIS!!” he yelled as he charged into the ReDead’s gut, sending it hurtling back into the graveyard.

“I’m SoRrY….!!” The ReDead called as it landed. Gaia turned back to the others.

“What’s the good word, brother?” James asked. John gave James a confused look. “It’s what gorons say for like gossip or what’s going on, for example, one Goron might say ‘What’s the good word, brother?’ to another, might reply, ‘My brother just got married,’ or something like that.”

“John and Lass?!” Gaia cried in disbelief. Impa shattered the Coconut and glared at Gaia.

“WHAT?!!” She demanded.

“It was just an example!!” John exclaimed. “Any way, are we ready to go?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t we get some food or snacks?” Lass asked.

“I got mine already, thanks,” James said as he began to nibble on one of the shields. Steve smacked the shield out of James’ mouth.

“How long does it take to get up Death Mountain?” John asked. James thought a moment, and then answered.

“I’d reckon at least an hour or less,” he said. “But we’re goners if we aren’t ready for the monsters.”

“M-mons-sters?” Malon asked.

“Yeah, nothing too bad,” James insured. “You don’t bother them; they won’t bother you, so let’s just take it easy and quiet. Besides…” He said as he inched closer to Malon. “You got me to protect you…!”

“Bleeuch!!” Steve spat in disgust.

“You said it…” Everyone noticed a shadow loom over them. They all looked up and screamed. An enormous Owl loomed over the group on a tree. James fell to his knees.

“Please, Keapora Geabora…Don’t tell Talon…” He begged.

“YOU!” John accused. “You tricked us into running into the draw-bridge!! We wouldn’t have had all that trouble if we waited for night to end!!”

“Oh, sure!” Keapora Geabora said obliviously. “Do that, and them Stal-kids would’ve picked you clean by the third hour…!”

“Bleeuch!!” Steve spat. “This time I mean it!!”

“Hah!” John said haughtily. “I meant a stal-kid or two on my own when I left the Zora Realm!”

“Yeah…” Keapora said quietly. “How’d that turn out…?”

“Oh!” John said as he reached into his bag. “You haven’t met my friend, Ted.” Everyone’s eyes widened as John pulled out a stal-kid’s skull. “This is Ted…” he said as he tossed it around and scratched under the chin. “Say hello, Ted!” he said as he shoved it into Keapora’s face.

“Help… me…!” the skull squealed. Keapora covered his face with his wing and flew to a different spot.

“Alright,” he said. “Now time for my advice, there are boulders rolling down Death Mountain, and the Volcanoe’s active, so watch for hail.”

“…Anything else…?” Malon asked as she got Epona ready.

“Nope, just go prepared.”

***
The group slowly climbed up the mountain, with everyone except Impa in the wagon. Steve busily ate a Koki Fruit. After a minute James began to wildly sniff the air.

“What’s that smell…?!” he asked.

“Oh, that would be me…” Steve said. “I’m using moss-scented moisturizer for my dry-skin ‘cause it’s cooking up here.”

“Why moss-scented…?” John asked.

“ ‘Cause that’s what it’s made of!” Steve exclaimed. After about half an hour, a strange thumping sound filled the air. The wagon pulled to a stop.

“What’s that noise…?” Lass asked nervously.

“Oh, it’s a Tektite,” James answered.

“A gesundhiet??” Lass asked.

“No, Tek-tite,” James answered.

“What’s a Tektite?” Steve asked.

“It’s kinda like a Spider,” James answered. “…A 50-pound spider. They’re not easily agitated, but they are dangerous.”

“Oh, I think I met some Tektites before!” Malon exclaimed. “Some guy asked me to deliver a package of Tektite larvae to a caravan, but everything went wrong from there.”

“Should we be surprised that bringing a Tektite to a caravan would bring trouble?!” James asked obliviously.

“So I’m supposed to know that those Larvae were raised to steal diamonds?!” Malon shot back. “And BOY! Did the Tektites’ parents get mad at me when they found me. I couldn’t leave the ranch for a week after that! When Tektites get angry, they get angry!”

“What usually makes them mad?” John asked.

“Oh, they’re usually irritated by Moss-scented moisturizer and explosive fruit!” James said as he turned to Steve. Steve nervously ate his fruit as his companions eyed him.

“…Don’t judge me…!” Steve said slowly. “I’m pretty sure that Bomb-flowers and Koki-Fruit are two different things--!” Spoke too soon. A red Tektite Hopped in front of the wagon and began to look menacingly at the travelers.

“Don’t move…!” James whispered. “There’s a chance it won’t attack!”

“…Good to know!!” Impa sarcastically whispered back. Malon began to shake like crazy, then made Epona go into a Gallop. Everyone struggled to hang on as the wagon zoomed up the trail, with the Tektite in hot pursuit. Eventually more Tektites began to follow the Wagon.

“Malon! Just pull over and let us fight them!” James insisted.

“Sorry, guys! I can’t do it!” Malon shouted nervously. “They’re still mad at me for that Larvae thing!!”

“How do you even know that these are the same Tektites?!” James demanded. But then he heard the Tektites chirping. James looked to his side and saw a Tektite with some slightly smaller ones on its back. The smaller ones were chirping and hissing at Malon.

“…I stand corrected!” James said. The wagon hit a bump and one of the Milk containers bounced out of the wagon and whacked a Tektite.

“This is just GREAT!” Malon groaned. “At this rate, we won’t have any Milk to sell!”

“I think I can slow them down!!” Steve shouted as he readied his slingshot and aimed it at the horde of Tektites. *THWOPING!!* *SMACK!!!*

“OW!” The first shot hit Impa.

“Oh, sorry--” Steve began, but looked back in astonishment. “You’re still behind the wagon?!” he asked in disbelief. Impa didn’t answer, she just gave Link an annoyed glance and jumped unto the cart. Impa took out a huge shinobi-star from her bag and carefully took aim, then threw it at the horde of Tektites. Purple energy erupted from the shinobi as it sliced through the horde, sending many Tektites flying. A small baby Tektite landed on James’ lap and retracted into its carapace. James tried to throw it out, but its thorn had latched unto his tunic. The Wagon took a wild turn, sending a few milk-bottles out. The Tektite baby looked hungrily at the Milk bottles and jumped after it. The wagon hit a huge bump, sending Impa hurtling out of the Wagon. She scrambled to her feet and chased after the wagon, trying to keep ahead of the Tektites. “RUN HORSE! RUN!!” She yelled as she grabbed unto the wagon. “…OH! You’re too slow!!” she said as she PICKED the wagon up and with unbelievable speed carried it up the trail. John stared obliviously down and Impa, and then shrugged.

“I don’t think I ever saw anything like this, except in Scooby-Doo!” James said as he clung to the side of the Wagon for dear life. Steve took more shots at the Tektites as they neared the end of the trail.

“WE’RE ALMOST THERE!!” Malon shouted as they were almost at the end. But John saw something dangerous up ahead.

“Just a suggestion,” John said nervously. “But all in favor of not hitting that boulder, say ah!”

“--AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!--” Everyone screamed.

Mammy…” James squealed. Suddenly a giant Goron popped up from the ground beneath them, sending them hurtling.

“Flinging you to mammy!” The goron called as they wagon flew through the air. In the midst of the hurtling, Impa fell back into the wagon. Strange bird-like creatures began to hover next to them as they flew through the air.

“…WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE!!??” Malon cried.

“… I don’t know either,” James admitted. “But they look familiar…”

“They’re arwings!” John exclaimed. “Like in Star-Fox64! See that worm-hole?” The party looked to the side and did see a glowing hole in the sky. John Jumped unto one of the Arwings, threw the pilot out, ripped the chair out, and after some quick calculating, threw the seat to where the wagon would land. John jumped back unto the wagon. “LOOK OUT BELOW!!” He called as the wagon hit the Chair, bringing it to a skidding stop. (Unless the music already stopped, you can stop it now) Everyone slowly climbed out of the wagon, with their pupils vibrating inside their eyes. Steve leaned over the edge and held his mouth.

“That was by far our WORST landing, ever!’’ he groaned. Malon and James walked to the back of the wagon to count how many bottles were still intact. He and Malon opened up the back. “So, we got six bottles left?” He asked. *SHATTER!*

“—Five,” Malon restated. “…At this rate, we’ll only make 10 rupees profit…” Malon said quietly. A goron stumbled by and fell to the ground. James walked over and helped him to his feet.

“Good-day, brother!” James said politely. “What’s the good-word?”

“…We’re… out… of food… Darunia’s… upset… and I feel awful…” The Goron said as he began to gag and fall to his feet.

“Woah! Wait!” James exclaimed. “We could get some help or something--”

“*UUUUUUURRRP!!*” The goron let out a thunderous belch, so strong that James had to hold his hand in front of his face to keep the gust from hitting his face. “Sorry…’’ the Goron squealed. “Air-intake problem… not enough room in my… stomach…oh…” the Goron slowly collapsed. James held his ear to the Goron’s chest, then let out a sigh of relief.

“He’s out cold…” he said. “But… what’s going on…?”
***
The group carefully walked through the strangely quiet Goron-city. Malon slowly lugged the remaining milk bottles, and looked in horror at the Gorons moaning and groaning on the ground. One Goron stood completely still, but he was still awake. John walked over to it.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“…My stomach has finished devouring itself, and now it’s moving up my BACK! OH!” The Goron roared as he clutched he chest and struggled. “Oh… that tickles…!” he said after the struggling stopped.

“I’m going to go see Darunia!” James cried urgently as he ran down some stairs. “You guys meet me at the center of the city if I’m not back in half-an-hour!” John watched him go slowly, then sighed. Meanwhile, James walked up to the entrance of Darunia’s house, which was being guarded by the Goron father that raised him. “PA!” James cried. “What’s going on??!!” When pa saw James run up to him, he picked him up and gave him a big hug, which nearly choke James.

“You’re finally back!” he said in relief. “It felt like forever!”

“What’s going on?!” James repeated.

“Oh… well, the cavern’s blocked off, and we ran out of food.” Pa explained as he put James down.

“What about the emergency food-supply?” James asked.

“That was the emergency food-supply!” Pa answered. “Now we can’t eat enough to keep us going, we only have a days worth of food left, and everybody but Darunia’s eating it slowly, he always eats when he’s mad.”

“What’s Darunia doing anyway?” James asked.

“He took the spiritual stone and locked himself up in his cabin. Now the city’s as cold as steel.”

“Why don’t you ask him to give it to me, his sworn nephew?” James asked.

“That’s a good idea!” Pa exclaimed as he walked into Darunia’s cabin. “He’s missed you so much! When he hears this, he can’t say ‘No!’ ”
***
“He said ‘NO!’ ” Pa exclaimed as he came out covered in dust. “Then he threw his lunch at me!” he said as he jerked some petrified Pizza off of his back, and then began to eat it. “Good thing he wasn’t eating Shiskababs!” James thought hard at how to get Darunia to listen.

“Hey, James!!” James turned around and saw the group approaching him. “How’s it going?” John asked.

“Not very good,” James admitted. “Darunia’s upset, and they’re out of food because Dodongo Cavern’s blocked off by a boulder!”

“Why didn’t they, I don’t know…” John said obliviously, “BLOW UP THE BOULDER??!!

“They missed,” James answered blandly. “And if they still wanted something to eat, they couldn’t throw too many bomb-flowers in there!”

“How can we help?” Steve asked.

“Perhaps if we got Darunia to listen to us, he would let us use a Bomb-flower, we could get the Cavern opened up!” James suggested. “But then again, that Cavern is filled with Dodongo’s, hence its name, and after being barricaded off for two whole days with no pest removers on duty, it’s probably infested with hostile hatchlings and perhaps older Dodongos.” The others didn’t seem to get the message. “Long story short,” James began, “Even if we do open up the cavern, it would be too dangerous for one Goron alone to walk in, and come out in one piece.”

“Ahh…” everyone said in realization. “Hey!” Steve exclaimed. “Why don’t we ask Darunia for the stone, in return for us clearing out the Cavern?” he suggested.

“I’ll give it a try,” Pa said as he walked back into the cabin. But in less than two minutes he came out, but was remarkably clean compared to last time.

“He said ‘no’, AGAIN! And this time…” Pa said as he jerked something off of his behind. “He was eating Shiskababs!” Pa said as he nibbled at some rock-chunks on a stalagmite. James sighed.

“I’ll go in and talk to him myself!” James said as he determinedly walked past Pa and walked into the cabin, with Terry following him.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
CHPT 12: Soothing the Elder

Darunia was sitting on a bench with his fist under his neck, mumbling to himself.

“Good-day, Sir!” James said with a bow. Darunia looked up and frowned.

“What do want, boy? Can’t you see I’m thinkin’?” He said annoyed.

“Come to think of it, you are a lot like ‘the thinker’ statue, aren’t you, rock-man?” Terry asked. James panicked and covered Terry’s mouth.

“You do NOT call Gran hermano Darunia a rock-man!” James whispered. Terry looked at James confused. “It’s old goron for ‘Big-Brother Darunia!’, it’s a Goron thing!!”

“Ahh… now it makes sense,’’ Terry said.

“Who’s the chatty crystal?!” Darunia asked. “…Can we eat it…?”

“Daaah!!” Terry screamed and ducked behind James.

“He’s a Fairy, and he’s not made of crystal!” James defended.

“But can we still eat him…?” Darunia asked with a hungry look in his eye. James shook his head and shooed Terry away.

“Darunia, can’t you listen for just a second?” James asked.

“…Huh?” Darunia acted like he snapped out of thought. James slapped his face in disgust.

“Please…? Darunia?” he asked. Darunia thought a moment, and then sighed.

“Alright…!” he growled. “I’m outta lunch, anyway!”

“Can you let us use one bomb-flower to try and open up those boulders blocking off Dodongo cavern?’’ James asked.

“NO!” Darunia growled. “We’re almost outta that stuff!”

“Just one!” James pleaded. “If it fails, we’ll find another way out! Really!!”

WE?!” Darunia shouted. “ ‘We’ as in you and that fairy, right!?” he demanded. “It would be really bad if a full-blooded goro-brother brought in outsiders without MY permission!” Darunia roared.

“But, Hermano, you never had a problem with that before…!” James complained.

“WELL I DO NOW!!” Darunia roared. “AND STOP USING OLD TONGUE ON ME!!!” James thought hard. Whenever somebody began yelling at him in an argument, anger would begin to build up in him. But he managed to keep it down a while longer to ask a question.

“What… would help you feel better…?” James managed to say.

“…I don’t know… now leave me alone! I’m busy…!” Darunia snapped. Too late, James exploded.

“HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF BUSY WHEN YOU’RE SITTING DOWN HERE GRUMBLING WHILE YOUR BROTHERS ARE STARVING?!” James roared. “IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO HELP EVERYBODY, YOU’D ACCEPT HELP AND NOT TURN IT AWAY BECAUSE YOU’RE ANGRY! IT’S THE GORON WAY TO ACCEPT HELP WHEN YOU’RE LOST, SO WHY WON’T YOU DO IT NOW???!!! ME AND MY FRIENDS WORKED OUR CRUST OFF TRYING TO GET UP HERE TO HELP!! WHY DON’T YOU REPAY OUR HARD WORK FOR ONE! STINKIN’!BOMBFLOWER???!!!” James began panting and dropped to his knees. “…Was that out-loud…?” he asked. All the yelling took the breath away from him. Darunia was shocked. He had never seen James/Link so angry before. Even Terry, who was used to being yelled at or hearing yelling, hid behind a rock. Darunia paused to gather his wits, and then sighed.

“Give me a moment to think,” he said. “Wait outside with the people you brought, and I’ll call you back in when I come up with some deal for that one bomb flower.” James obediently began to walk out of the cavern. “RUBBLE! GET IN HERE!!” Darunia called. Pa walked past James as he left the cavern. James felt a little embarrassed to see that everybody was staring at him.

“…You heard all that… didn’t you…?” James asked nervously.

“You were the first person to talk back to Darunia like that!” Pa exclaimed. “Except Geek, but he only shouted."

“Oh that was James?” Impa asked. “ ‘Could’ve sworn it was Darunia.”

“Then what did I do?!” James asked.

“Hollered.” John answered. “And because you were in a cave,” John said while poking his pinkie in his ear. “All the echoing nearly deafened us.”

“…Really…?” James asked. “Because my ears don’t feel so bad--”

“You were in it!!” John broke in.

“I never heard anything so loud since Ingo was chased by our ‘hundred pound bull, Big red!” Malon exclaimed.

“That must’ve been a big bull!” Steve exclaimed.

“No, he was our smallest!” Malon corrected.

“… Okay! Back down to business!!” John cut in. “James! What will it take for him to let us use a bomb-flower?! And do we have to grind the rock-man to dust to get it…?!” He asked malevolently.

“…I don’t know!” James admitted.

“Well we’ll have to think of a plan,” Malon said. “A sharp one! Something sharper than that mole on James’ cheek!” James took a bit of offense, but said nothing.

“What do we have to do?” Steve asked in disgust. “Play a song to him?” Pa walked out of the cavern and cleared his throat.

“The noble Darunia has announced that the visitor that can perform the most appealing song on any instrument can have the bomb-flower!” Steve looked at the others and smiled nervously.

“What an unbelievable coincidence!” Steve said in a surprised voice.

“This is great!” John exclaimed as he reached into his bag. “Now I can try my song of pranks on him!” he said as he pulled out a kazoo.

“You had a kazoo this whole time, and you used Ruto’s flute instead?!” James asked in a mift voice.

“Well a Kazoo can’t play something as complicated as the stuff we’ll learn,” John said.

“Then what can you do with a Kazoo?” James asked.

“Stuff from that the composer brothers do,” John answered.

“Huh…?” Everybody asked.

“Something like this--!” John said as he hummed into the kazoo. *TOOO-TaAaAaA!! Tooo-TAAAAAAAAAAA!* Everybody held their ears as the awful noise passed by. Nothing happened for a moment. But then hornets flew over to pa and formed a cloud over him. Pa slapped himself like crazy and then ran away.

“DAAAAH!!” He screamed. “I’m goin’ to roll in the grass!!!!!” The group silently watched him go.

“Me first!!” John exclaimed.
***
John walked in front of Darunia, who had James at his side.

“Greetings, big-rock-san,” John said as he entered. “I am your entertainer today!”

“Hush up and do your thing!” Darunia snapped. John took out his Kazoo and hummed into it. *TOOO-TaAaAaA!! Tooo-TAAAAAAAAAAA!* Darunia held his ears.

“WHAT KINDA MUSIC IS THAT?!” Darunia roared.

“Don’t look up…” James said quietly. Darunia looked up just in time to see… a small pie land on his lap.

“Aw…” Darunia cooed. “It’s adorable---” *SPLAT!!!* The cream popped right out of the pie and unto Darunia’s face. “NEXT!!!!!!” he roared.
---
Impa whistled Zelda’s Lullaby softly and soothingly. Darunia was reading some bill-tablets and had put on reading spectacles as he listened. James quietly read a magazine next to him. After a round, Lass (who was at Impa’s side) sang a part of the song.

“Ah… AH-ah… Ah…AH-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” The last part was so high-pitched that rang through the entire city. *CRAACK!!* Darunia’s reading spectacles shattered into diamond dust and inflamed his eye.

“DAAAH! MY EYE!!!” He screamed. *THUMP! THUMP!* “What’s that?” Darunia asked. The earth on the floor crumbled up, and out popped a ReDead who was holding a broom and wearing a tattered up maid outfit.

“KeEp It DoWn, WoUlD’yA?!!” it growled. “ We’Re TrYiNg To ClEaN dOwN hErE!LiViNg…HmPh!!” it mumbled. Before it climbed back into the ground, it whacked Darunia on the head with its broom, and then climbed back down. Darunia eyed the two with his good eye and shouted.

“NEEXT!!”
---
James watched at Darunia’s side as Malon sang Epona’s song. While James was enjoying the song, Darunia was crawling in his chair and holding his ears.

“Make it stop!!!” he pleaded in a small voice.
---
James and Darunia waited patiently as the fairies Gaia and Terry fluttered up to ‘the stage’. The fairies began to ‘click’ their wings as they pulled out a sea-shell microphone and sang this song:

Darunia stared in awe, but it wasn’t good awe.

“And THIS is what the kids are listening these days?!” he cried in disgust. He turned to his side and saw that James didn’t share his thoughts. He was clicking along with the song. Darunia gave James a long, hard glare. James looked at Darunia and his clicking slowly came to a stop, and then he covered his face with his hat and huddled into a corner with shame. Their singing continued for a while, but then their music suddenly stopped (you can stop the music if you want it to correspond with the story). The fairies had been swapped into a bottle by a little Goron.

“I fixed it, big brother!” he said to another goron. “Now the mean crystals can’t hurt us anymore!!”

“NEEEXT!!” Darunia roared.
---
James and Darunia watched with boredom as the next competitor arrived. It was Steve with his Ocarina.

“This should be good…” Darunia groaned. “What’s he going to do? Dance of the forest fairy?” he asked mockingly.

“Hurtful…” Navi said offended.

“…No,” Steve blandly answered. “It’s something called ‘Saria’s song’, which in Kokiri means ‘Forest queen’s song!” he said as he blew into the ocarina.
The song slowly drifted by, and for a moment, Darunia said nothing, but then got a strange look in his eye. He suddenly got up and did some crazy break-dancing.

“Woah! Come on! I’m on a roll! Oh yeah!” Darunia shouted and shouted as he danced like crazy. Steve slowly backed away in caution as Darunia raged on.

“What’s his problem…?” Steve asked as James escaped from Darunia’s dancing and approached him.

“Oh, Goron’s just love forest music,” James answered. “It drives them nuts!” After a while, Darunia finally began to calm down. He let out an exhausted sigh and sank back into his chair.

“Whoo-ee!” he whistled as he fanned himself with a tablet. “I haven’t felt like dancing like that since last year’s geek-festival!”

“…What’s the geek-festival…?” Steve asked.

“It’s a day celebrating when Geek has to leave the city for a week,” James answered. Every evening we pelt a statue of geek with mud and dirt… But we have to clean up quick before Geek comes home.”

“How come? What can he do?” Steve asked.

“He can put something nasty in everybody’s sleeping pellets… and poisonous if he’s mad enough!” James answered with a shudder.

“Like what?” Steve asked.

“A wart-scorpion.”

“What’s that?”

“Its sting leaves a non-infectious wart that stays for almost a month.”

“Oh really?” Steve asked. He wasn’t willing to believe it.

“Ya know that mole that Malon pointed out earlier?” James asked.

“Yeah…”

“That’s no mole…!”

“Oh…! Okay…” Darunia slowly got up and beat his chest.

“Thanks to you, forest boy, my spirits are back!” Darunia exclaimed happily as he gave Steve a pat on the back that sent him sprawling. “Here, you can take these Goron-bracelets!” Darunia said as he handed two golden armlets to Steve.

“…What are they for…?” Steve asked.

“With one of those bracelets, you are shown as a full-pledged brother, and you, as an outsider, can allow any stranger in, and gives you the permission to pull Bomb-flowers!”

“Then what’s with the second one?” Steve asked.

“It’s for the blue one,” Darunia answered.

“Then why aren’t the girls allowed to have one?” James asked. Darunia looked shocked that James didn’t know and answered:

“Why do you think Mammy’s one out of five--” *KABOOOM!!!* “—Four, still on the mountain?”

“Oh, okay…!” Steve said in a scared tone. Steve placed the bracelet on his arm and bent over to James.

“I thought we plain couldn’t pick Bomb-flowers in the game without this,” he whispered.

“Well in here, it’s a law!” James whispered back. “I don’t understand it either.” Darunia looked at James and gave him a big hug that nearly crushed him.

“I’m sorry for not listening, Link!” he apologized. “Can you forgive me?”

“HASDSDLMNDFGMD!!”

“Beg your pardon?” Darunia asked confused. James pointed at Darunia’s arms. “OH! Sorry!” Darunia said as he let James go.

“Admitted, your behavior was intolerable,” James said. “But I’m sorry for the outburst earlier, in a way, I was worse than you.” Darunia sighed.

“We both acted like dodongos, but all is said and done,” Darunia said in dismal. “Now then, God-speed on opening the cavern!” Darunia called as the two left. The victorious two re-grouped with the others outside of Darunia’s cavern.

“Steve got a Goron-bracelet!” James said he held up Steve’s arm, clearly showing the bracelet. “Now we’re authorized to use a bomb flower!”

“How come I didn’t get one…?” John asked.

“Oh yeah, here’s one for you,” James said as he tossed John the other bracelet. John placed it on his arm and looked at it for a moment.

“…This is a bracelet?!” he asked in disbelief.

“You’ll grow into it,” James replied.

“How can I grow into it when it’s almost half the size of my arm--!” John looked at the Bracelet and saw it had tremendously shrunk to match the width of his wrist. “… Is this removable?” He asked. “ ‘Cause I don’t want to end up like Eustace Scrubb!!”*

*Eustace Scrubb of the Narnia series

***
“There should be a small plantation of Bomb-flowers nearby!” James called. The group was climbing to a part of the mountain that overlooked the Dodongo cavern. When the group got there, there was a big Goron with a bulging stomach lying on the ground, holding the last bomb-flower right over his mouth!

“…Just, One, More…” The goron groaned.

“Uncle Onyx, No!!!” James shouted as he ran for the goron. But it was too late. The goron swallowed the bomb-flower, and let out a large belch. James fell to his knees. “No!!” He wailed as he beat the ground. “That was the last bomb-flower!”

“Wha…?” Uncle Onyx asked. “You needed it…?” James’ face twisted with fury as he got up and attacked Onyx.

“WE NEEDED THAT TO OPEN THE CAVERN, AND NOW IT’S GONE, AND IT’S ALL! YOUR! FAULT!” James roared as he shoved the Goron over the edge.

“Daaaah!!” Onyx cried as he hurtled down the mountain.

“…What happened? I blacked out there for a second…” James moaned as he held his head.

“Who was that glutton?” Malon asked.

“That was uncle Onyx, a bomb-eater,” James answered. “He usually eats bomb-flowers and other such, so It’s not exactly wise to touch his stomach.”

“How come?” Malon asked. *KABOOOOMM!!!!!*

“That’s why,” James answered as he leaned over the edge. “Oh! Look!” he called as he motioned the others to come over. “The explosion destroyed the boulder blocking the Cavern!!”

“So we can finally get in?!” Steve asked eagerly. “So what are we waiting for?!” He asked as he got near the edge. “GERONIMOOOOOOOOO!!” The party watched with awe as Steve plummeted to the bottom.

“Let’s get down there before he gets really hurt!!!” James exclaimed as he took the route down to the cavern.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
CHPT 13: The fiery cave
dodongo.jpg



(the picture's a little weird, but the song's cool)

DC.jpg


The three through the endless labyrinth of Dodongos and Lava as they struggled to find where the boss lurked. John, who was being chased by a Dodongo, had just reached a dead end.

“DAW!” He groaned. “This is ridiculous!!” He yelled as he jumped behind the Dodongo and ran another direction.

“Hey, bro…” James called from over a wall. “Watch out for those holes in the ground… yeah?”

“What holes?!” John spat. “I don’t see any--!” *FWOOSH!!!* a spurt of steam sent John hurtling right into some Lava. “DAAAAAH!!!” James shook his head. “Nobody ever listens…” he groaned as he went his own way. John ran out of the lava and threw himself unto a wall, charred and steamed.

“Holes in the ground…” he whimpered. “Gotcha…!” He said before collapsing.
***

Steve felt like Indiana Jones as he hopped from platform to platform over a boiling pool of Lava, being chased by Baby Dodongos. Steve took a leap of faith and landed on a considerably out-of-reach platform. After the dodongos gave up, Steve lay down and wiped his brow, when the platform began to rumble, and rise off of the Lava!

“DAAAAAAAH!!” Steve wailed as he was brought up to unknown heights. When the platform stopped rising, he was in front of a door that had the words clearly written out on it that said: DUNGEON MAP ROOM|ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!. [/I]This might be where we need to go…![/I] Steve thought as he turned around and ran off to gather up the others, unfortunately he forgot that he was still on the platform. “…DAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!” He wailed as he plummeted to the bottom. Fortunately, however, he landed on something soft. Steve got up, and looked with shock that what landed on was a Baby Dodongo, and it was blinking. “Get outta the way!!!” Steve yelled as he ran away from it. *KABBOOM!!!* Steve noticed that the smoke might be able to make words if they were positioned properly. Steve turned around and took out his sword as more Dodongos came to attack him.
***
John and James ran for their lives from an angry Dodongo. James pulled to a stop and threw a rock into the Dodongo’s mouth that made it begin to cough, giving them the chance to get away. The two hid behind a corridor and took a breather.

“Do you hear that…?” James asked.

“Hear what?!” John asked.

“Listen!” *boom! Boom!*

“Alright, I hear that!” John answered.

“Hey, look at that!!” James pointed up at the ceiling. There was a smoke signal in the air.

“Do you think Steve sent it?” John asked.

“More than likely,” James answered. “Let’s go to where it’s coming from, it’s better than being chased all day!”

“Yeah, we can get chased there!” John said.

“Whaddya mean?” James asked. John nervously pointed behind him; there was an angry Dodongo sneaking up on them.

“AAAAAAAAAAH!” The two yelled as they ran to where the smoke was coming from. The two eventually came to a stop and saw Steve fighting off some dodongos.

“Took you long enough to come!!” Steve shouted as he shot some Dodongos away with his Sling-shot.

“Did you call us over for a Tea-party?!” John asked as he attacked some of the Dodongos.

“No, I found where the dungeon map is!” Steve shouted as he did a finishing blow on one Dodongo.

“Then take us to it!!” James shouted as he drove off a Dodongo with his sword.

“Follow me!” Steve shouted as he hopped back unto the platform, with the others following him. The platform rocketed back up to the level where the door was. The three hopped unto solid ground and approached the door.

“…Looks like a trap…” James observed. “But we don’t have much of a choice. Hey, John, throw me that Bomb-flower over there! This door’s sealed off!” John threw James the crop and James placed the bomb-flower in front of the door. After a second, the Bomb-flower exploded, crumbling the Door to dust. The group walked in and studied their surroundings; a large room with at least four platforms over a pool of lava, a door on the other side of the room, and a chest in the middle. “There it is!!” James exclaimed as he ran for the chest, with the others following. James opened up the chest… peered inside… but it was empty. James puzzled this for a second, but then metal bars slammed down in front of each door, making escape impossible. “…We’ve been ratted out here, boys!” James said as he cautiously looked around.

“What the--!” Steve said in shock. “Navi! Give me a tip!!” No answer. “… Navi…?” Still no answer. James began to look guilty.

“…James…” John said slowly. “Where’d you last see the fairies…?”

“I… lost track of the fairies ever since we entered the cavern… they could be anywhere!!” James said in dismay. A slow growling sound filled the room. “Just our luck…!” James complained. “In the middle of a fiery cavern, stuck in a monster-infested room, and no fairies to help… And it’s all my fault!” James shouted. The growling grew louder. The group began to hear footsteps. “Okay, nobody panic…” James said slowly. “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!” John walked in front of James and clenched his fist. *SMACK!!* John gave James a slug in the nose to get his attention.

“Pull it together, man!!” he shouted.

“How can I pull it together when my face is collapsing…?!” James complained as he held his nose.

“Heh…Heh…Heh… HEH!” a low cackle filled the cave.

“Look, brother…!” another voice said. “The red-hero-boy is a cry-baby-boy!” The foot steps grew louder. Two hulking figures appeared out from behind a giant pillar in the middle of the room.

“When Ganondorf said that fighting them would be simple…” the first figure said. “I didn’t expect them to be wimps!”

“SHOW YOURSELFS!” Steve yelled.

“Who are you?!” James called. “What are you?!” James struggled to keep the fear out of his voice. The two figures came into eye-view. They were green lizards with shoulder armor on one arm, and chain-mail on the other. They both carried two small swords, and had spikes attached to their tails.

“We are Lizalfos!!” The first one said.

“Lizalfos can’t talk…!” James cried as he backed away.

“But our mouths are moving, and words are coming out!” The second one growled.

“We’ve been sent by the G-man to execute you three personally!” The first one said as he drew his sword. His brother drew his sword, and the two began to circle the three. The boys drew their swords and shields.

“Guys…!” James whispered. “They’re Lizalfos, they’re dumb as a post! We can scare them and make the whole battle easier!”

“Hey, what are you whispering about!” the first one said. The boys were quiet for a moment.

“BWUAH!!” James shouted. The two Lizalfos looked at each other and ran away. “See?” James said as he was about to put his sword away, but then one of the Lizalfos made a U-turn and lunged at the group. The boys scattered and surrounded the Lizalfos.

“Need any help?” The lizalfos that wasn’t fighting called.

“I’m okay,” the other one said. “I’ll take care of this!”

“Great!” James groaned. “As if they could talk wasn’t bad enough, they’re supposed to be brain-less, not strategic!!”

“The only one who’s brainless is the BOULDER-HEAD!” John replied.

“Hurtful…!” James said offended.

“Watch the fish…” John said in a ninja-like voice as he walked forward. “…Do his thing…!” John began to twirl his sword around, fling it into the air, catch it in his teeth, and spit it at the Lizalfos. The sword bounced off of the Lizalfos’ chest armor, sending him hurtling into a wall at the side of the cavern. The other Lizalfos got up and jumped into the ring.

“I’ll take care of things, from here!” it said as it ran for the boys. It sliced it’s sword at John, but he rolled out of the way and grabbed his sword from off the ground. The Lizalfos targeted Steve and did a jump-attack with his sword, but Steve held up his shield and the sword was driven into it. The Lizalfos tugged and tore the sword out. The Steve was in a daze from the whole attack, but was able to do a back-flip as the Lizalfos attacked again. The Lizalfos targeted James next. It lunged at James with his sword, but James rolled behind it and kicked it in the back, sending it stumbling.

“…I didn’t know I could do that…!” James exclaimed.

“We’re in a dream!” John exclaimed. “We’re having an adventure, we know Karate, we’re fighting Monsters, and there’s a giant floating banana.” James stared. There was indeed a giant Banana floating in the air.

“What’s that supposed to mean…?!” James cried.

“It’s a sign that you’re in a dream!” John shouted as he ran towards the banana. He jumped unto it and rode it like a surf-board and directed it over the Lizalfos. “Banana---” John jumped off in mid-air, and readied his sword “—SPLIT!!” Blue energy erupted John sliced his sword down on the Lizalfos, eradicating it. John came to the ground, twirled his sword in the air, and then put it back into its sheath. The others looked on with awe. But James noticed the other Lizalfos was approaching John from behind. Suddenly he broke into a mad-run and readied his sword.

“JOHN!! GET DOWN!!!” He yelled as he jumped over him and kicked the Lizalfos away. He began to slice his sword at it. But the Lizalfos knocked the sword out of James’ hand and into the air above them. The Lizalfos readied another attack, but when he brought it down, James did a powerful Z-target jump into the air. James grabbed his sword from the air, and plummeted towards the Lizalfos, with his sword held in front of him.

“Aw… no…!” the Lizalfos cried as he attempted to shield himself with he sword. But it was in vain. James landed in front of the Lizalfos, with the sword slicing through it. The lizalfos began to turn a burnt black and red cracks began to appear on him as if he was a log in the fire-place burning up. “They don’t pay me enough for this…!” it screeched as it burst into blue flames and exploded in a cloud of ashes. James stood in a daze.

“…The goron-chop!” James exclaimed. “Only Darunia’s father did it perfectly, and I did it!!”

“What about me…?” James looked behind him and saw a Goron half-buried in the dirt. “I’m the one that flung you into the air!” it said as it pulled himself out of the ground and walked away.

“So I needed a little help,” James said. “But I executed the attack perfectly!”

“Er-Hem!” John pointed at James’ sword. James looked down and saw that his sword was wedged into the ground. James stared a moment, then struggled to tear it out. When James finally pulled his sword out, John observed the room. “Something’s supposed to happen…” John snapped his fingers, and *POOF!* a chest appeared in the middle of the room. James walked towards the chest and opened it. And this time… it was a Bomb-bag! James attached the bag unto his belt.

“…Let’s get going!” he said. “I can’t wait to find the next monster to crush!” The others watched as James opened the now-unlocked door that led into another room.

“…His confidence sure has grown!” Steve observed. “He seems to have forgotten all about losing the fairies!” John remembered the fairies were missing, after all the battling, he forgot about them.

“We’d better find them!” he exclaimed as he followed James. “Judging on how the Gorons reacted to the fairies, we’d better find the Fairies before they find something with a taste for pixy-dust!”
***
The two followed James into the next room. The next room was simply a tunnel, with torches on the wall that emitted a strange purple glow. The group carefully walked through, and noticed nothing out of the ordinary in the room.

“This room’s empty,” Steve said. “Let’s move on.” James shook his head.

“No, take a look at the ground,” James said as he pointed at a large lump on the ground.

“So it’s a clump of dirt!” Steve said as he walked towards it and drew his sword out. “There’s nothing in it!” he said as he pointed his sword downwards and was about to plunge it into the lump.

“No wait!” James shouted. “Don’t do--” too late. Steve had pierced the lump. “—That..!” The lump began to glow red and pulse. Steve stared in a daze at the strange sight, until James jerked him out of the way, just in time as the lump exploded.

“What kinda lump of dirt can explode when you poke it?” Steve cried.

“A lump that has an infant Monitorous~Infernos under it does!” James said.

“A what…?!” John exclaimed. James groaned.

“A baby Dodongo!” He shouted. The shout rang through the tunnel. Red eyes poked out from the dirt floor…and slowly disappeared again.

“How do you know their scientific name?” John asked.

“Actually, it’s magical name, theirs no science in this world,” James quietly.

“What’s up?” Steve asked. “You’re awful quiet!”

“Oh, I just had a run-in with a nest of them a week ago, before Ganondorf came. I took some meat that one thought was his, and after I tried to hand-feed him, he bit my whole hand just to get the chunk of meat, and after it was done tasting my hand, it decided that I was tastier and called a whole squad of them and sent them swarming after me, and barely escaped.” James said with a shudder. “After that I looked into them as much as… I… could…” For a second there was silence… “Hey, guys…?” James asked nervously as he scanned the ground. “Could you do me a favor?” He asked.

“Well, what?” John asked.

“RUN!!” James shouted as he grabbed the others and ran to the side of the room, just as more lumps appeared and nearly rammed into the group. James chuckled and brushed himself off. James noticed that he seemed to be sinking he looked down and saw that the lumps in the ground were swirling around his feet, weakening the ground and making him sink.

“It seems that the Dodongos remember that morsel from before!” John joked.

“Guys?” James said. “How about another favor? How about you… I don’t know… PULL ME OUT!?”

“I don’t know…” John said as he quite obliviously polished his sword sheath. “What does it pay…?”

“Your brother won’t be devoured by flesh-eating fire-breathing dragon babies!” James suggested as he began to sink beneath knee-level.

“Nah, I want some of your mammy’s cupcakes when we get back to the city!” John said.

“But those are made out of Dough!” James protested.

“Finally!” Steve said. “A break from rocks!”

“No, it’s actually ‘dough’,” James said. “It’s 50 rupees a cake! There’s no way I’ll let you have any!” James noticed that he began to sink waste-down into the earth. “How much are you talking?” He asked. John knelt down and looked at James at eye-level.

“A monthly supply!” he said. “Of ten a month!” James gasped.

“Four!” he restated.

“Eight!” John shot back.

“Five!”

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Happy-Birthday!!!*” John exclaimed. The brothers stared at John. “Sorry,” John said as he scratched his head. “I’ve been watching too much Kamen rider OOO**…”

Author's note(s): *’Happy birth day’ is a phrase that is used by Mr.Kougami from the show ‘Kamen rider OOO’. Kougami often uses it as a phrase for ‘Congratulations!’ or ‘Deal!’

**Kamen rider OOO (O’s) is a 2010-2011 tokusatsu show from toei.co

“Just pull me out!!” James snapped as he sank into shoulder length. John sighed, and held out his hand in a pointing position, and pointed it upwards. James began to shake a little, and then he shot out of the ground and into the ceiling. Steve looked up and blinked.

“I must be dreamin’!” he said in disbelief.

“You’re not wrong!” John said with a chuckle.

“*Oh, ha-ha!*” James muffled as he struggled. “*Very funny!*” James said as he fell out and landed unto the ground. The lumps began to circle and rushed at the boys. “Scatter!” James shouted as the boys split up in the room. John tried to land a Z-Target slash on one of the lumps, but it moved to quickly and he missed. Steve in the meantime was being surrounded by the lumps, and they began to swirl around him, go through in-between his legs, and made him lose his balance. Steve waved his arms a little, and then fell on his back. Steve noticed that something had cushioned his fall. He got and noticed that he had landed on a lump. The lump began to glow and the Dodongo under it began to scream.

“NO-NO-NOO!” It screeched as it exploded, but Steve somersaulted out of the way, safe from the explosion.

“Guys!” Steve called. “Just jump on the Dodongos! They’ll explode easier!” The others got the message and began to pounce on the Dodongos instead of slicing them. Soon all of the lumps in the ground had exploded, except for one that trailed around as if it couldn’t see.

“I got this one!” James shouted as he jumped unto it. A moment passed, and James was about to jump away, but the lump didn’t explode. James took a closer look at it, and something began to push away the dirt.

“I know whose Backyou’re on,” A small voice groaned. “But whose side are you on?!”

“Terry!!” James exclaimed as he pushed the dirt away. The three fairies came out of the lump of earth and flew over to their respective partners.

“Where were you guys?!” Steve exclaimed as Navi fluttered happily around him.“Well, after we were locked out,” Gaia began. “We had to find a way to catch up with you guys, so we had to claw our way through the floor!” The others stared in astonishment.

“And we don’t even have claws!” Terry exclaimed. “So we had to use our *ptt! Ptt!* -- teeth!!!”

“We also found out where the boss-chamber is!!” Navi exclaimed. “Follow me!” she called as she ran through the tunnel.
***
“Down… there…?” The group was on a long wooden bridge, hanging right over a giant skull of a Dodongo.

“We found an inscription on the wall of the door you three went in!” Navi said as she hovered above the bridge. “It said ‘when the dead Dodongo sees red, its son shall be found inside’…”

“Its son?” John asked.

“Obviously implying that the boss of this place is a big-Dodongo,” James said as he kicked a pebble down into the abyss beneath.

“What’s a big-Dodongo?” Steve asked.

“They’re abnormally large Dodongos,” James vaguely answered. “But there’s only supposed to be one in every country.”

“And how do you know so much?’’ John asked.

“A few weeks ago, me and my Goron class-mates studied an egg of one, but we left by the cliff overlooking the cavern. But it was pushed into the cavern when the G-man kicked all those rocks in front of it.

“--OH!--’’ Every one said. “--That’s how it was blocked off!--”

“Enough of that!” James said as he reached into his bag. “ ‘When the Dodongo sees red’… I bet it means a bomb!” James said as he drew a bomb from his bag. He scraped the fuse of the Bomb which lit it, and then he threw it into the eye of the Dodongo skull. The eye began to glow a deep red. James smiled and threw another bomb into the other eye. Both eyes glowed red and the Jaw dropped open, revealing another passage. “Ikuzo!*” James shouted as he jumped off of the bridge, and was falling towards the middle platform.

Author's note(s):*Ikuzo is Japanese for 'let's go!'

“We also discovered that the lava-level rises occasionally rises…” Navi added. *TSSSSS!*

“DAAA!” A cry broke out from below.

“James!!!” Steve cried as he looked down from the bridge.


“No need to worry!” John said as he pointed to the other edge of the bridge. There stood James, half-charred, a flame on his shoulder, and he was blinking red.

“Sometimes it kills to be able to re-spawn like this….!” James complained before he collapsed.
***
The group walked through the entrance that the skull led to. At the end of the tunnel was a large room, with a peculiarly colored floor.

“Judging by the floor and those scratches on the wall--” James said as he observed the room. “The King Dodongo should be somewhere in here.”

“Oh, so now it’s king Dodongo!” John said obliviously. “Why don’t we just call those li’l monsters behind us ‘prince’ dodongos?”

“Actually, it says so on that part of the wall,” James said as he pointed to the wall, where it ‘clearly’ said:  (King Dodongo was here!)
The group stared at the phrase.

“Are you sure that’s what it says?” John asked.

“That or it’s a recipe for Goron soup!” James said as he took out a bomb.

“Dodongos have their own language?” Steve asked.

“No,” James answered. “It’s just them scribbling on a wall, that Gorons can understand.” James walked into the middle of the room and began to stomp on the ground. “I’ll take lead for now,” James said as he grabbed two rocks from the floor and began to scrape them to form sparks that would ignite the bomb.

“Hey, I thought I was the leader!” John said. “What makes you so privileged to be the leader right now?!”

“I know a bit more about Dodongos, so I should lead the attack on ‘his majesty’.” James replied as he lit the bomb, and threw it to the ground.

“Whoa, whoa!” Steve shouted “what are you-- [*KRA-BOOOM!!!** The bomb exploded destroying the whole floor, sending the party hurtling below]—Doing…..!!!!??” After a moment of falling, the party hit a warm, hard floor. The room was in a square-shape with a pit of lava in the middle, hence the huge amount of steam in the room. The party lay in a heap on the ground, struggling to get up with James on the bottom.

“Everyone… Alright…?” James called in a weak voice.

“Yeah! We’re right behind ‘ya, ‘fearless-leader’! Literally!” John called back in a sarcastic voice.

“It was a bad Idea to let you lead the charge in!” Steve said from the top of the heap. “We could’ve climbed down or something, instead of FALLING HEAD-FIRST!!” James tried to keep in his guilt and annoyance.

“Maybe something like ‘Hey I’m gonna bomb the floor’ could’ve been tossed out!” John said. “Speaking of ‘bombing the floor’, don’t look up.” The party quickly got off of one another and managed to dodge falling rubble. Some of the rubble landed in an area too covered by the fog to see. Red glowing eyes appeared and began to move. But the party didn’t notice. The party was about to continue complaining, until James heard something.

“SHH!!” James shushed.

“Now you have to say something to say--” Steve began. *Growwwl!!!* Silence loomed over the room for a moment, but a large booming noise appeared. *Boom! Boom! Boom!* “Ner-he…!” Steve let out a nervous chuckle. “Let me guess, King Dodongo…?” he asked.

“Yeah…” James said gravely. “Or in thier tongue… [a huge ominous figure approached the boys] The King of Fire!!” The figure was completely seen now. It was a hulking large Triceratops-like monster with armored spikes all over his hide. The Dodongo rumbled in his throat,--

“Does he even have a tongue?!” Steve cried. “All I see are TEETH!!” – The Dodongo let out a horrifying (both in attention and smell) roar. The blast swept against the group in one huge stinky wave.

“Nope, he has a tongue!” John said. “You just have to avoid the giant ominous teeth that are beginning to glow red… DUCK!!” The party ducked just in time as a blast of fire erupted from the creature’s mouth. The party slowly got up.

“This is Sabrina,” James said as the Dodongo began to drool. “She’s a little small, ‘cause she’s only a weeks old."

“THIS thing is small, and a SHE?!” Steve cried. The Dodongo looked down at the boys, and then turned around and lumbered away.

“Where is he going--” James said aloud, but then the ground began to rumble. A huge boulder appeared out of nowhere and began to roll towards the boys. “RUNN!!” James shouted as he and the others jumped out of the way. James couldn’t help but feel like Indiana Jones as the boulder chased the boys throughout the room. However, after a while, the boulder unfolded, revealed to be the Dodongo curled up. The Dodongo began to breathe heavily, and fell to the ground, exhausted. Steve unsheathed his sword, and after making a circle with it in the air, jumped up into the air and did a Z-target slash.

“Hissatsu… My Hissatsu attack! VS. Dodongo version!!” Steve shouted as he brought his sword down on the creature. But his sword didn’t even pierce the Dodongo’s hide. The Dodongo angrily shook, and then hit Steve off of his back with his tail as if he was a fly. Steve was falling for the lava, until John grabbed his leg and pulled him out of the way.

“Terry!” James said to his fairy. “Give us a tip about this thing!” Terry nodded and flew around the Dodongo, then came back.

“Infernal Dinosaur King Dodongo—“ Terry began.

“We KNOW THAT!!!” James snapped.

“Let me finish!” Terry said angrily. “His fire sac inside his body is highly sensitive, so if it inhales something explosive, it should explode inside him and knock him out!!”

“Yuck!” James exclaimed. “Is that necessary?”

“If you want to get close enough to his head; his only weak point, without being barbecued!” Terry replied. James ran up to the Dodongo.

“Hey, Your royal pain!!” James called.

“James!!” Steve called. “Are you crazy?”

“Hey, fatty!!” James called again.

“He’s crazy.” Steve said in surprise. The Dodongo looked down on the little critter before him and began to bare his fangs. “I bet you couldn’t burn me with that sad Baby-fire of yours!!” The Dodongo began to inhale, but then James threw a lit bomb into it’s mouth. “Psyche!!” James shouted. The bomb landed inside the Dodongo’s mouth. It struggled for a moment, then belched out a bunch of smoke and fell to the ground, stunned. James readied his sword and did a Z-Target slash on its head. This aroused the Dodongo, who immediately shifted into boulder-mode and began to roll. “GAIN WAY!!” James shouted as he fled from the boulder. The others were soon to follow. While they were running, James picked up a rock and after a moment of aiming, threw it at the Dodongo’s head while it was rolling. The Dodongo slowed down gradually, and finally came to a stop. It uncurled and began to inhale again. James threw another bomb into the Dodongo’s mouth. The Dodongo stood frozen for a moment, but instead of belching, it began to cough like crazy. The Dodongo shook his head, and then coughed the Bomb out. The Bomb was covered in filth, but its fuse was still lit, and in fact it was about ready to explode. The Dodongo inhaled again, but James grabbed his sword and swung it towards the Bomb. “FORE!!” James shouted as he hit the Bomb.

“Through rubble, across the rocks,” Steve said. “And right into the Dodongo’s mouth!” This time the Dodongo swallowed the bomb, but this time, it knew better and spit it out. James ran over to the Dodongo, grabbed it by the nose and opened its mouth, then shoved the Bomb in. The bomb exploded, and the Dodongo fell to the ground. “GUYS!” James called. “Let’s all do our Z-Target slash on it! That might finish it off!!” The others drew their swords and ran for the Dodongo and did their Z-Target slash on it, with James doing the same. The Dodongo stood up, struggled, wailed, and fell to the ground. It didn’t move. It didn’t breath. James walked in front of its mouth and kicked it. Nothing happened. James walked over to its eye and poked it. Nothing ha…The eye suddenly jerked open. The Dodongo rose to the ground and rolled up again. James turned tail and ran towards the others.

“Ru--”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘run!’ ” John said as he and Steve began to run. “No need to tell us twice!!” The group ran from the Dodongo again, but James wasn’t fast enough and was supposedly flattened.

“James!” John yelled. But James was simply stuck on the Dodongo’s hide, like dough on a rolling pin. The Dodongo eventually stopped and uncurled, and James found himself on the Dodongo’s back. James puffed himself into shape (literally) and drove his sword into the Dodongo’s hide. The Dodongo yelped as if it was bit by a bug and began to thrash around. James held unto the hilt of his sword, which remained stuck in the hide for dear life.

“Yee-haw!!” James yelled as he ‘rode’ the Dodongo. The Dodongo eventually tired down, and was about to breath fire again, until James jumped up and kicked it in the head. James jerked his sword out of the Dodongo’s hide and jumped down. The Dodongo stood dazed from the blow. James held up his sword, then threw it up into the air.

“What the hay are ya doing?!” Steve cried. James took a deep breath, and then did a Z-Target Jump into the air. The Jump was so powerful, that James was almost flying like a rocket. He grabbed the sword in mid-air, and in a burst of red energy, plummeted down unto the Dodongo. Smoke and fire exploded from the Dodongo. It screeched and roared. In a fit of blind pain, it hurtled itself into the pit of Lava. The lava cooled, leaving a pool of dried magma rock. James slowly rose from the smoke and put his sword away.

“Dynamic chop…!” James said in a strong, bold voice.

“You say the name of your attack after you’re done?” Steve asked.

“Shh!” James shushed. “You’re ruining the moment!” A blue light appeared in the middle of the pool of lava, along with a heart container. The group ran over to the spoils of their victory.

“…There’s only one!” John said. “How’re we going to split it?!”

“I got this!” James said. He picked up a boulder, lifted it up into the air and shattered the heart container.

“WHAT’D YA DO THAT FOR?!” Steve cried.

“Now there’s three pieces!” James reasoned. John picked up a piece, and took a bite out of it.

“…MM!” he said in delight. “ ‘Tastes like cherry!”

“Alright,” James said as he picked up a piece. “We’ll each take one.”

“But I don’t like cherry!” Steve complained. “I ate a heart-container after I beat Gohma, and it was Stale!”

“Eat it!” James urged. Steve reluctantly wolfed down his shard of heart (I couldn’t call it a piece of heart!).

“..Didn’t you just kill your science experiment?” John asked.

“Nah! It’ll molt out!” James said. Just then the magma rock began to rumble, and then a little Dodongo popped out.

“It molted into THAT?!” John said in disbelief. The Dodongo looked at James and ran towards him.

“Papa! Papa!” it squeaked.

“Let’s make like a dream-Banana and split!” James shouted as he and the others stepped into the blue light. They were warped out of that dreadful cavern, with one more Boss defeated.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
The Legend of Zelda Lozoot

Sorry, not enough time to put in music.
CHPT 14: A feast, a Ruby, and a Great... Pixy?

The group found themselves in an empty area, completely blue, with nothing in sight.

“…Well this isn’t very convenient!” Steve spat as he crossed his arms. “The blue light should’ve taken us somewhere that exists!

“Man, is the air dry up here!” James said. “My fingers feel stiff.” John noticed that an Arwing hovered right next to him. John thought a moment, and then discovered something.

“Steve?” he asked. “You’re afraid of heights, aren’t you?”

“…Yeah…” Steve answered slowly.

“Don’t look down.” Steve couldn’t help himself. He looked down and what he saw was so frightening that he couldn’t scream.
***
Lass paced back and forth, obviously impatient.

“How long does it take to clear out a smelly old cavern?” Lass asked angrily.

“It took me a month to clear out your basement!” Impa said as she polished her shuriken.

“Where could they be?!” Lass asked. Malon was quietly resting in the wagon, when she heard something.

“…Do you hear that?” she asked. The three perked up their ears and listened hard. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

“…Found them!” Impa said.
***
The boys helplessly plummeted; freefalling to what they could unfortunately see from their ‘bird’s eye’ view was the entrance to the cavern. James struggled to keep his cap on and keep the hair from blowing in his face. He looked to his side, and saw that John was using a parachute.

“…Where’d the heck did ‘ya get that?!” James shouted over the wind.

“Oh, I ‘borrowed’ it,” John called back. James looked up and saw the arwing hurtling towards the ground, with the pilot sticking out of the cockpit cursing and shaking his fist.

“If I’m going to end up as a mess below,” James said as he crossed his arms. “I’ll take it with dignity… AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

“What are you screaming about?” John said. “We’re falling at the same speed.” James looked around and saw that he was falling at the same speed as John. “It’s a dream-thing. But that air current will suck you right down, so stay away from it ---”

“Daaaaaaaaaaah!!!

“…Or not.”

****
“What’re we going to do…?” Malon asked as she bit her nail. “Lassy! Get your Nanny to do something!!”

“Ya heard the farm-girl!” Lass said to Impa. “Do something… Anything!!!”

“Nah, let’s watch them go,” Impa said as she crossed her arms. “I think it’ll be fun to watch ‘em plummet to their doom!”

“Do it or I’ll take it off your paycheck!!” Lass shouted.

“You did that last year!” Impa said. “And I still got paid.”

“Not when there’s a guillotine involved!” Lass said in a windy voice. Impa bolted up from the rock she was sitting on.

“You wouldn’t!” she said in a shocked voice.

“I would!” Lass replied. “I’d cut the top of somebody’s head off, right off the top!!”

“No!” Impa cried, dropping to her knees and begging. “Not Mr. Floppy-ears! That stuffed bunny’s all I have besides my shuriken collection!!!”

“Then do something about the boys,” Lass growled. Impa groaned and pulled a box out of her bag. The box had the words ‘instant trampoline! Just add impact!’ Impa set the box down, and kicked it! The box ripped open as a trampoline unfolded. Impa picked it up looked up at where the boys were coming in from, and set it down.

“That’s it…?” Malon asked.

“This trampoline could propel a boulder that’s been free-falling for hours!” Impa boasted. “And that rock boy’s no exception! He’ll make it!”

“AAAAAAAAAH” *RIP!!!!* The group looked down on the trampoline. There was a hole of James’ silhouette in the trampoline, with steam coming off the edges of the hole.

“…Of course I could be wrong…” Impa muttered. John slowly touched down next to the trampoline. John looked into the trampoline and tsked.

“Too bad,” he said. “He almost made it, I told him to stay away from that air current. He fell like a Goron-ball.” The others looked at John in confusion at mentioning the new word. “…It’s Zora-Slang for a curled up Goron.” John explained as he de-attached his parachute.

“I don’t think the air-current would’ve changed anything,” Malon said. “That trampoline’s older than that mole on Ingo’s forehead.”

“That was a mole?!” James asked as he pulled himself out of the hole. “I thought that was mud!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

“Aw great! Here comes Steve!!” James said as he got out of the trampoline.

“He won’t get through the trampoline!” Lass cried. “Impa! Do something!! Put on a spare sheet, or something!”

“That was the spare sheet…” Impa admitted.

“AAAAAH!!” *Sproing!!* Steve had bounced off of the trampoline, and was about to land on his face, but he twisted in Mid-air and landed on his feet.

“…I’ve heard of ‘light as a baby’, but that was ridiculous!” Impa said as she scratched her head.

“Kokiri are known for ‘landing on their feet!’” Steve boasted, but then he began to tremble. “Aw…I think I left my stomach at that last ‘hundred miles up…” *Thwump!* Something landed in Steve’s hand. “Found it, oh wait, it’s my bag.”

“Are you guys okay?” Malon asked. “You were in there for hours!”

“And you smell like bacon!!” Lass added.

“Shush!!” John said as he put his ear to the wall of the caver. “The song’s back on!!” Help me! Help me! Help me! (Hold me!) Help me! Help— *KRUSH!!* Two Gorons walked out of the cavern carrying a crushed boom-box.

“I hate that song…!” One Goron said. The group watched them go in silence.

“I can’t believe it!” Lass exclaimed.

“Yeah, how could Gorons get in there?” James said in wonderment.

“No, You guys had FM radio in there?!” Lass cried. “All we got was Epona musical snoring!”

“When it comes outta that end,” Malon said slowly. “It ain’t called snoring…!”

“Boombox? Ah! So that was where the music was coming from!” James said in realization. “I really liked it in there… Full force kinou yori hayaku hashiru no ga jouken--!” James was beginning to repeat one of the songs he heard, until Steve covered his mouth.

“Don’t sing it again!!” Steve hissed.

“Shush!” John said. But the group kept on talking. “QU-IEEEEEEEEEEETT!!!” He shouted. “What’s that sound…?” The quiet sound of air whistling began to grow.

“It’s getting closer!” James added. The whole party listened quietly.

“…GORON-BALL!!!” John shouted as they all ran for cover as a curled up Goron landed right where James was. The Goron uncurled, and it was Darunia… but he was wearing a long Cherokee-like feather headdress. Darunia began beating his chest.

“Me, Big-brother Darunia, am glad that you, brother-blood, have finally opened the doors to our cave,” Darunia spoke in a broken up English.

“…Yo, Darunia, you feeling alright?” John asked worriedly.

“Relax,” James whispered back. “Darunia only acts like this when he’s really, REALLY, happy.”

“As sign of thanks, I give you two tokens of appreciation.” Darunia continued as he took something out of his bag. “Here goron ruby. You may take it with your friends.” James proudly took the ruby and put it into his bag.

“What’s up with brother-blood?!” James asked. Darunia frowned.

“You not like new name Link earned for his bravery?!” he asked.

“…No,” James said as he shook Darunia’s hand. “Thank you Darunia! But… that’s just one token of appreciation. Where’s the other?” Darunia paused for a second.

“Me Remember!” He shouted as he began to do an Indian-esque dance. The group watched silently as Darunia performed his awkward dance, and the fact that he was a bit over-weight didn’t help. When he was finally done, he faced James and held out his arms. “GORON HUG!!!” He shouted as he closed in on James.

“RUN FOR IT!!!” James screamed as he and the others ran back to the city.
***
The others ran back to the city, and found to their surprise a long table at the bottom of the city. Gorons were walking to and fro, carrying food (or in this case rocks) down to the table. James ran over and grabbed a Goron’s arm.

“What’s going on?!” he asked.

“We’re preparing a feast in your honor!!” the Goron answered. “Come on! I’ll lead you and your friends to your seats!” The goron lead the group down to the table. There were rows upon rows of food; petrified turkey, Shiskababs, pizza, and bomb flowers. There was even a trough of leaves for Epona!

“It’s amazing how much food they’ve gathered in just a few minutes!” John commented. The group awkwardly took their seats. The group stared down at the food. It was all rocks, or rocks shaped like food. Steve licked one, and threw it away.

“I can’t eat this!” John exclaimed. “I’ll get heartburn! Like the time I had to eat Fish-bones!!! Do you have any, steak, sweets, or burgers?” He asked a Goron.

“We do not eat… burgers, here!” The Goron spat. “Do you know why they call it ‘fast-food?’ ” it asked John.

“’Cause it’s made fast and ate fast?” John suggested.

“Fast food,” The goron said as he leaned over. “As in faster into the Grave, heh…heh…heh…!” John began to whimper. “…I see you have no sense of humor.” The goron observed as it got back to eating.

“I’m still not eating this!” John said.

“That makes two of us…” Lass said as she shoved her plate away. But everyone saw in surprise that James and Malon were eating the stuff.

“This isn’t so bad!” Malon said. “It’s like when pa has to cook! This rock here tastes just like the bread he bakes!”

“That’s sandstone,” James explained. “It’s like bread for Gorons.”

“As long as it has the word ‘stone’, ‘Rock’, or ‘sand’ in it, I’m not eating it!” Steve spat.

“Here then, have some Magma!” James offered teasingly. “Or how ‘bout some quartz, or maybe even, some marble, Wha-hahaha!” James dodged just in time as Steve threw the plate away in his direction. James slowly got up, then he noticed a familiar face in the hustle. “Mammy!!” He shouted as he got out of his chair. He ran towards a Goron who was helping with the food. The goron saw him too, and gave him a big hug when he ran over.

“It seems like you’ve been gone forever!” Mammy exclaimed as she set James down. “How have you been doing?”

“Very well, thank you!” James said.

“I’ve got a very special treat for you, Basalt!” Mammy said as she handed James a plate of Round shaped rocks.

“Basalt! It’s like baloney!” James exclaimed as he took the plate. “Thanks, Mammy, I’ll see you at the Table!” James said as he ran back. When James sat down, he saw that fruit had been brought to the table, and the others were eating ravenously, But Malon was taking a little bit of the rock stuff too. Malon nibbled on a brown piece of food, and spit it out.

“Excuse me James,” she said. “But your cook’s Bacon tastes awful!”

“…That’s slate, Malon,” James corrected.

“…Well then it’s pretty dang good!” Malon said as she began to eat some more. After a while, James noticed that not too much food was around. The gorons were beginning to grumble. Mammy ran over to James.

“Link, we have a problem!!” She said a little distressed. “Didn’t you read my not about a new stove?” James looked puzzled.

“Well what’s wrong with this stove---” *KABOOOOOOM!!! Smoke exploded from one of the chambers. Mammy looked around frantically.

“Hang on a sec!” she shouted as she ran into the other room. The group and gorons could hear her apparently trying to fix the oven. “I think I got it… I think I got it---!” *KERKAHM!!* Mammy came out of the other room covered with soot and smoke was coming off of her. “…The Kitchen will now be serving…er uh…Basalt Sandwiches…” she announced. The other Gorons began mumbling to each other. This wasn’t the first time the oven had a problem and they had to resort to sandwiches. The gorons have been putting up with it before. “…With no sandstone.” Mamy finished. That was the last straw.

“Blech!! Yuck!” The gorons groaned and left the table. In a moment, there weren’t too much there at all. James picked up a slice of Basalt and shrugged.

“Oh well,” he said. “Bottoms up!”

The feast ended at least an hour after it began. Gorons slouched in their seats, holding thier swollen stomachs and picking their teeth. The party was preparing to leave the city, and was saying good-bye to the Gorons.

“Now you take care of your selves, ‘hear?” Mammy said as she gave James some food and money.

“And thank you boys,” Darunia said as he munched on a rock. “For bringing rock-caserole, back to our lives!”

“You’re very welcome,” James said as he took the food and cash from Mammy.

“Just one question, though,” Darunia said before swallowing the rock. “Did you actually talk to the royal family about Ganondorf?”

“Yeah,” James answered. “The princess said that we should start gathering the spiritual stones. That’s why I needed the ruby.”

“Well then,” Darunia said as he took out a bag. “Could you give this to the princess when you go back? Tell her it’s a sign of the Goron’s appreciation.”

James opened up the bag, and out came a small ring with a ruby on it. But suddenly Lass snatched it away.

“I’ll hang on to this!” she said as she began to admire it. But Malon snatched it away.

“No, I’ll take care of this for the princess!” she said as she tried to put it on.

“No I will!” Lass shouted as the two got into a tussle over the ring. “No me!” “No me!” “No me!” back and forth.
“Oh, James!” John said. “Could you ask your mammy to make some more of that great soup for the trip?!” he asked eagerly. Mammy was puzzled.

“Soup...?” she asked, but then gasped. “OH-NO! The boy ate the FUNK! Don’t you worry sonny! I’m gonna get you some Anti-FUNK!” She shouted before she ran off. John looked at James with bewildered eyes.

“It bad Funk...?” he asked slowly.
***
Epona happily strotted down the trail, with the others, excluding Impa,sitting in the wagon. James held the ring and put it in his bag.

“This is for your own good,” he said to the girls. A shadow fell over the wagon. The group looked up and screamed in surprise.

“Aaaaaaaaaaah--- Keapora!” don’t scare us like that!” John shouted.

“Sorry,” the giant Owl said as it landed on the side of the wagon. “But you forgot to visit the great Fairy of Magic. She’ll give you boys some magic power!”

“If you’re talking about that skimpy freak-O in the cave at the top of the mountain,” James said. “Then we’re not interested. Besides,” James took out a bottle of water. “I’ve got us covered!”

“It’s just water!” Steve said.

“Correction!” James said as he plucked the cork off. “It’s genuine Fairy-fountain water! One sip, and you gain the power of the great fairy of the place!” He said as he took a sip. He began to vibrate, and then a wave of green energy shot off of him. James handed the bottle to Steve. Steve took a sip, and a similar effect occured.

“When’d you get this stuff?” he asked.

“Shortly before I met Ganondorf,” James answered. “It’s quality will never run out, it can stay fresh for years!” Steve passed the bottle to John, who took a sip, then suddenly spit it out, coincidentally on Keapora. Keapora groaned and shook it off.

“This tastes like that Kuwait-Airwaysstuff!” John spat. “No flavor at all!”

“It’s better than meeting that creep in the fountain!” James said. John groaned and took a whole sip. James took the bottle back and put it away. Keapora flew off of the wagon.

“I’ll see you at the Lake!” he called as he swooped away.
***

The group was finally back at Kakariko village, after almost an hour going downhill. The group got out of the Wagon.

“Since we’re down here,” James said. “We might as well refresh our supplies.” James said as he dug through their almost empty supplies, but then he found the bottle with fountain water in it and picked it up to observe it. “It’s almost empty...” he observed. Lass nervously chuckled. “Lass! That was supposed to last us for a while!”

“I thought it was plain water, and I was thirsty,” Lass defended.

“But Seven years worth of fountain water down the drain!” James said as he put the bottle away.

“More like down a bottomless pit,” Malon said with a mocking laugh.

“You ate just as much as me at that feast!” Lass shouted.

“At least I didn’t eat a whole roasted dodongo!” Malon shot back.

“Girls! Girls! Girls!” John shouted as he got in between them. “Can’t you two just, you know... Get along?” Malon gasped and turned away at the idea, and Lass literally fainted at the concept. “I guess not...!” John observed. John stepped on Lass’ foot which pulled her into upright position, like stepping on a rake (Tom&Jerry’s a good example). Lass quickly came back to conscience. “You just missed that cow-pie!” John said as he pointed at something on the ground. Lass looked at the horror John pointed out and lept into Impa with a yelp.

“Gross! Gross!” she whined. “Impa! Make it go away!”

“Sorry, Zelda, I can’t do that,” Impa said.

“Hey!” Lass said. “You called me Zelda!” She said.

“You just called yourself Zelda too!”
“You called me Zelda!”
“You said it too!”
“You said Zelda!”
“You said it too!” back and forth.

“QUIET!” John shouted. “From now on, nobody calls Lass ze....” Everyone looked at John with menacing eyes, and James started to pop his knuckles. John rolled his eyes, and in one swift motion-- drew his sword and pointed it at James. “The special word!” John said in a slow voice. “Now stop yelling, we scared the cow-pie away.” The others saw that the cow-pie was hopping away like an injured dog. “Anyway, should we go see that great fairy that Keapora suggested anyway?” John asked. “I can feel my magic energy going away, I think we need a real dose of it!” The group thought a moment.

“You three can go,” Impa said. “We’ll stay and get the supplies, like womenfolk are supposed to!”

“Fine, but...” James said. “We might need the wagon.”

“Not when I’m around.” The group looked up and saw Keapora resting on a tree branch. “I can fly you up there!” He said as he rotated his head.

“Alright,” Steve said. “But only for the real dose--”

”And because we need to catch up with fairy folk!” Gaia added.
***
Keapora was holding the boys with his talons, resting on his belly in a tree.

“Alright, passenger rules!” Keapora said. “No pushing or shoving! Keep your hands to yourself! And most of all, no FEATHER PLUCKING!” James nudged Steve at the last rule. “Alright then, hang on, hold your breaths, hold your valuables, and remember! Owl-Nerd airways will not be responsible for loss of Passengers!”

“...Huh?” John asked.

“Relax! I’m just kidding--Put your hands in between your legs...!”

“What?!” *Ker-kam!* the owl took off so fast that it was almost like a sonic-booms. The boys screamed as they hurled through the air.

“Hey!!” Steve called. “Do you give out any Complimentary peanuts?”

“Of course not!!” Keapora snapped. “Those are only given out by Money sucking dirt-bags! Here, have some!” Keapora said as he dropped a bag of pistachios down to Steve. Steve pulled and groaned at the package.

“For crying out loud!” James said as he grabbed the package and tore it open, but then pistachios flew out of the bag and into James’ face. “Dah! Oh! Oh! Ow!” James grunted as he was pelted with salted nuts.

“Don’t worry, I have two more!” Keapora said as he dropped down another. Steve tried to open it again, but his hands became too sweaty from the pulling to open it. He looked at James with longing eyes.

“...Oh! Fine!” James said he took the bag and tore it open, but the bag ripped right in half, sending the nuts hurtling below.

“Last one!!” Keapora said as he dropped the last bag. Steve reached out and grabbed it, but his hands were so sweaty that the bag slipped right out of his hands and hurtling below. Steve stared down at the bag as it hurtled below, and began to whimper. Steve looked to his sides and saw that John was munching from a bag of nuts, possibly the very same one that dropped. How John did these things Steve just didn’t understand, but one thing was clear, John was eating and he wasn’t! Steve tried to rip the bag out of John’s hands, but all the struggling caused interference int he flight.

“Passengers, please fasten your seat-belts, we’re experiencing (Mental) Turbulence!!!” Keapora screamed as he began to spin through the air like a drill. Everybody screamed as they spun through the air.

“DAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!” James screamed. “I’M GONNA HURL!!!” *BOOOOOOMM!!!!* The group landed on the side of the mountain, coincidentally in front of the cave of the great fairy. Keapora shook the rubble off of him.

“I’m just a little rusty with passengers...” he mumbled. Steve tore himself away from Keapora’s grip and ran unto the pathway.

“Land!!” he cried as he hugged the ground. “Sweet, solid, Land!!” Steve kissed the land he was kneeling on.

“Yeah, there’s a cow-pie right there,” John said. Steve suddenly got up and began to spit like crazy.

“What’s a cow-pie doing up here?!” Steve asked.

“Enough whining, more fairy talkin’ !” James said as he grabbed Steve and pulled him oer to the entrance of the cave.

“Wait!” Where are the Fairies?!” John asked. Just then, Three sparkles wavered up the pathway.

”Wooh! Hah! Hah!” Terry wheezed. The group also saw the three girls come up on the path.

“I thought you said you were staying!” John said.

“Well, ‘her highness’ wanted to see a great fairy!” Impa said.

“She’s going to regret it!” James said. “Great Fairies aren’t famous for their good looks, I don’t even want to go in there!”

“I’m going,” Malon said as she walked into the cavern..

“Let’s go!” James said as he followed her. John and Steve looked at each other, shrugged, and followed the others.

The cavern was rather empty, with just a marble pathway leading to a fountain on the floor, with the Triforce symbol on the ground in front of it.

“What’s up with the Triforce?” John asked.

“It means you’re supposed to play Zelda’s lullaby,” Impa said. James nudged Steve.

“I’m not going to do it, you do it!” Steve said.

“Well I’m not going to do it, you do it!” James replied.

“I’ll do it!” Impa said as she whistled to tune of Zelda’s lullaby. The song echoed through the cavern, then the water began to stir and bubble. And then suddenly.... *FLAAAARRP!!!* In a burst of... green gas(?), a huge, Man(?), in his boxers and wearing a singlet came out of the water.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” The boys screamed at the horrifying sight.

“What now?!” the man demanded. “I was watching ‘wheel of torture’ before you rang the doorbell!” The boys were too frozen to speak.

“W-w-where’s the g-great fairy, M-mister?” Steve asked politely.

“Who, Sis?” the man asked as he scratched his flank. “She has the day off. So now I have to fill in her place!”

“So, who are you supposed to be?” John asked.

“The Great Pixy! the man answered.

“Pixy?!” James asked in surprise.

“Yeah, pixy!” The Great Pixy replied. “All male ‘fairies’ are called pixies! Though some end up in fairy society, horribly misunderstood and brought up as fairies!”

“Oh! I knew I was defferent!” Terry exclaimed in realization.

“Everybody knew you were different from the way you ATE your first pacifier!!” Navi said in disgust.

“What do you want anyway?!” the Pixy asked as he opened a soda can.

“We want out...” Steve said as he turned around, only to be stopped by John.

“We would like a magic meter, a permanent one!” John said. The pixy finished his soda, threw it into the fountain, and took a deep breath.

“Alright,” he said. “Here’ goes!” the pixy made a squeaking sound by blowing through his tightened lips. *Squeeeeeeeek!!*
“...That was it..?” James asked quietly.

“Yeah, good eh?”

“We’ve seen enough!” Impa said as she grabbed Lass and walked out of the cavern. “If we ever need any gas power to bring Ganondorf down, we’ll give you a call!”

“Later!” James said as he ran out. Soon all the boys were gone, including their fairy companions (Let’s just keep calling them fairies, it’s easier.) The pixy shrugged and sank back into the water.
***
The group walked out of the Cavern. John ran over to Keapora, who was overlooking a steep section on the mountain.

"Yo! Keapora!" John shouted as he ran over. " 'Think you could give us a lift back down to Kakariko?" he asked.

"Sorry, I got a date," Keapora said. "But I can give you directions down!" The group walked over to Keapora.

"Where should we go?" James asked.

"THERE!!" *THWACK!!* Keapora whacked the group and sent them rolling down the hill.

"I'l kill that owl.....!" John screamed as they fell down. For the first few minutes John felt the dusty, warm feeling of rolling down a mountain, then the felt... water. John suddenly realized that he couldn't breathe. He struggled and found himself splashing for breath in a river. John looked to the distance and saw a waterfall with a Triforce symbol under it. A sly smile crept over John's lips. "Ladies and Gentlemen!!" he shouted in an announcer-like voice. "The Link, is back!!"
 

onebizarrekai

gay energy
Joined
Feb 28, 2010
Location
New York
Gender
Agender
So creative 8D

I'm just pointing a little thing out, you don't have to change it if you want, but it's "Kaepora Gaebora" with "ae" not "ea".
 

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
CHPT 15: “I’m back!”
[video=youtube;bvH3wJWHJIo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvH3wJWHJIo[/video]
King Zora busily waited as his servant brought him some food.

“Your breakfast, sir!” The servant said as he pulled the lid off of the tray. “Freshly cooked, Caviar!!” The King stared in disgust and kicked the tray away.

“Caviar! Bah!” the king said as he crossed his arms. “Feeding me fish! What are we?! Cannibals?!... Bring me some salmon!”

“Yes sir!” the servant said as he ran away. A guard walked into the room as the servant left.

“Your majesty! Some guests have arrived, and they claim that they are here in the name of the royal family!”

“Ah! It must be the king’s associates! They’re looking for Ganondorf!!” the King exclaimed. “Send them in!!”

“Yes your majesty!!” the guard said as he left. After a minute, the King heard an all too familiar voice.

“Hi Honey! I’m home!” The king stared in horror, it was John.

“Oh no! Not you!!” the King growled. “You were mummified and thrown into the pond of banish and despond!”

“Well I swam out!” John replied. “After all, Zoras aren’t the best at tying knots!!”

“What are you doing here?!” the king demanded.

“I’m here on an errand for the princess,” John said as the others walked in. “I need something that’s about this big (holds out his hands to determine the size), blue on the edges, and gold in the middle!”

“My toilet?!” The king asked. John slapped his face.

“It has two names!” he said. “The last word of the second is ‘water’, and first word of it’s first name is Zora!” all the zoras stood stupefied by this question. *Ker-Plooie!!* One Zora guard thought so hard that steam shot out of his ears and he fell to the ground, like a short-circuited robot. King Zora opened up a cola-can and nervously began to drink from it. “Told ‘ya they aren’t smart!!” John whispered to James as the King’s scribe grabbed a conch shell.

“Attention all personnel!” his voice boomed through the conch shell. “We have a heart-attack in the king’s chamber!!” guards ran over and grabbed the guard and carried him away.

“You were banished!!” King Zora bellowed. “You have no right to step foot or flipper (whatever you wanna call those things) inside this spiritually-clean, pollution-free environment!!” King Zora finished his can of cola and crushed it, and dropped it to the floor.

“Very clean!” James said sarcastically.

“You can be banished too!!!” the king roared as he pointed at James. James covered his mouth in fear.

“Gonna clean that up, fatso?” John asked mockingly.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was just about to!” King zora replied as he stooped down, but he was too fat to move. “Ngeh! Ngeh!” A guard rolled his eyes and took the can away. “Get me another can from the cool-pond!” the king called as the guard left.

“Cool-pond?” Malon asked.

“It’s a pond of sub-zero temperature water,” John said. “It’s like the Zora’s fridge, but there’s only one. And it’s more of a magical than scientific thing. It would be a disaster if it overflowed! The whole realm would freeze!”

“What are you doing here again?” King Zora asked. “Better yet, how’d you get here? The current’s too tough for you to have come from the field!”

“We fell down the mountain,” John said.

“How?!” King Zora asked.

“By rolling,” John said.

“But mostly by face!” James added.

“And luckily we were able to avoid the cool-pond!” John said proudly. Lass suddenly began to look around.

“Where’s Impa?!” she asked. “I didn’t see her come in!!”

“Excuse me!” A guard walked in, towing a huge clunk of Ice in a wheel-barrel. “Does this Sheikah-Popsicle belong to you? We found it in the cool-pond!” The boys gathered around the chunk of ice. Sure enough, Impa was inside, and her face was frozen in an angry expression.

“I can carve her out!” James said as he drew his sword and picked up a large stone. “I carved Mt.Gushmore on the side of death-mountain!”

“I never saw it!” Malon scoffed.

“The backside!” James replied as he began to chip at the ice. After a while, James hit a crack, that when tapped, made the crack grow, until the whole block shattered.

“--Hate those boys!!!” Impa finished. She looked around the room and immediately noticed the king. “Your majesty!” she said as she bowed. “We haven’t seen each other since--”

“You asked me out at dead-man’s cliff!!” King Zora finished.

“We had a ball!” Impa reasoned.

“Not we! I had a ball! And it was not a ball, it was a fall!!!” king Zora said angrily.

“Hmm...” John pondered. “The Freak and the Fish! double F!!” King Zora and Impa looked angrily at John.

“I guess we both have something in common, Impa!!” King Zora said. “We both hate boys in blue!!”

“Hmm...” John pondered again. “Boys in Blue! Double B! Boys in blue... Boys’in’blue... Boysen berry!” John joked. The only reaction was a giggle from James. “I’m on a roll!!” John said triumphantly.

“Yeah, yeah, Double B, boysen berry, Freak and fish, it’s very funny, haha...”King Zora said glumly. “I broke up after the fall!”

“Yeah,” John said. “After all I’ve seen in TV, it’s very painful to break up.”

“Yeah, I was crushed.”King Zora said. “It was painful!”

“I understand,” John said.

“It also left a heck of a mess afterwards!”King Zora added.

“...Something tells me you’re not talking about dating...!” James said slowly.

“Of course I’m not!!” King Zora roared. “After that fall, my lower legs have lost their strength! I’ve been sitting here for 200 years since then!!” The party slowly looked at Impa.

“Hm? Oh-NO!! I’m not that old!!!” Impa roared.

“Sure! Listen to the woman who dumped me--- off a cliff!!!” King Zora replied.

“I’d hate to disagree with you,” John said to the king. “But you accused me of throwing a pie in your face, when it was really a guard.”

“Whatever!”King Zora groaned. “So, you want my chamber-pot?”

“Oh for crying out loud!” John shouted. “We want the Zora-Sapphire!!”

“You too, huh?” King Zora said suspiciously. “Is this some sick joke from Impa?!”

“No!” Steve said. “It’s serious matters! The royal family authorized us to collect the --”

“Why is the green dress talking?!” King Zora asked.

“It’s a tunic!” Steve spat. “And it’s no different than the one that John’s wearing!”

“Your tunic is an inch longer than ours!!” King Zora replied.

“Gee, King Zora,” John said. “I don’t like it when you pick on my family.”

“That forest nymph is a relative of yours?” King Zora asked.

“So is the red one!” John said as he pulled his brothers close.

“If they can’t pull a pie out of thin air like you can,” King Zora said. “I see no relation.”

“We can all do cool things!” John said. “I can prank you, James can eat rocks, and Steve eats exploding fruit!”

“Actually, I stopped after I busted a tooth on one!” Steve corrected.

“I don’t care what you want!!” King Zora bellowed. “You were banished, so you and I have no business!!!”

“Why were you banished?” Lass asked.

“I was accused of ‘sacrificing’ Princess Ruto to Lord Jabu-Jabu. But he was really after me, Ruto was in the way!”

“Who’s Jabu-Jabu?” Malon asked. Two guards ran out from the hall way behind the King.

“The guy who’s about to hurl!!!” they answered. One of them ran in front the King. “Sorry, your majesty!” he said before he kicked the king, shoving him into the passage way, clogging it. A slow rumble filled the domain. A low voice was heard. *THWWPTH!!* The sound of water gushing came from another room. King Zora began to struggle and gag. Obviously, whatever came from behind was hitting King Zora’s back, and he didn’t like it.

“Aw... this is nasty!!” the King squealed. “Somebody help!!”

“No offense, your majesty,” a guard said. “But if we help, the realm will get contaminated. And you already ordered another fat Zora to clog the last one!”

“Then bring him over!!” King Zora yelled.

“Sorry, he was hanging out at ‘Broken Jimmy’,” The guard replied.

“What’s broken Jimmy?” Lass asked.

“There are water spouts somewhere in the realm, and broken Jimmy is the biggest and most dangerous one! To this day, no one has been able to survive it!”

“But if it’s around to this day,” Lass said. “Then it’s not broken!”

“No, but Jimmy is!!” John shouted.

“Help me!!!” the King whined. John shrugged and walked over to the King.

“Everyone, please find a platform above the puke border!” John called. James looked at a sign, that clearly said:
_____________________________
|Puke Boundary ------------------5 ft |
| |
|You must be this tall to survive |
____________________________
| |
The group scrambled to higher ground as quickly as they could. John gave a tug on the King, then jerked him out of the path. Before the slush could get too far, a guard pulled a leaver that drained the it away.. As royal janitors cleaned up the chamber, the group got back down to lower ground.

“Gee...” King Zora said. “... Thanks... Link... Since you helped me, I guess you deserve a reward (Oh man, I can’t believe I just said that!)”

“I was just following the procedure!” John said as he pointed to a diagram on the wall.
--------------------------------------
|When all citizens get to safety,|
|remove plug |
---------------------------------------
“But why did you do it?!” King Zora asked.

“ ‘Cause I knew you’d give me a reward!” John replied.

“Oh! You’re such a sly dog-fish!!!” the King growled.

“Oh, thank you!” John said. “Now hand over the sapphire!”

“I don’t have it!” the King replied. “Ruto does! Unfortunately, she’s in the belly of a whale, thanks to you!!”

“It was not my fault!!” John shouted. “It was the G-man!! Speaking of which, what happened to him after I was tossed out?”

“He volunteered to go and get Ruto out, but he chickened out, so I denied him the sapphire, even if we did try to get her out!”

“Too scared to get her out of there?” John asked.

“Nope, half-way through, he chickened out, jumped the gun, grabbed a cucco and flew away!” the king replied.

“Which way did he come out?” John asked.

“The back-end!” the king replied.

“Eeeeeeewww!!!” the entire group (except John) groaned in disgust.

“What’s all the ‘ew’ about?” John asked.

“He just said Ganondorf came out the back-end!!” James exclaimed.

“No, he came out the gills!” John said. James looked puzzled. “Jabu’s gills are on his tail, that’s how he breathes when his head is out of water!”

“A-a-ah!” everyone said in realization.

“If we get Ruto out, can we have the sapphire?” John asked the King.

“...FINE!” The king said reluctantly. “But after you get it, I don’t want to see you in this realm again, Deal?”

“Mmm... I don’t know...!” John said as he took off his hat as he pondered.

“Fine...!” the king growled as he threw a golden chamber-pot at John. John caught it and with a chuckle, stashed it into his bag.

“Alright! Ciao!” John said as he climbed up the passage way, the others following him.

“Ooh, what’s that ancient-hylian for?” Lass asked in fascination.

“It’s Italian for ‘bye’!” John stated in annoyance.
***
The group walked down the hallway. When they came around a corner, there, half-floating in the small lake, was Jabu-Jabu.

“Whassup?” John asked as he gave the whale a ‘peace’ with his fingers. Jabu-Jabu growled, and tried to lunge at John, but began to cough and drew back to his original position. James walked over to the whale and felt the bottom of its neck.

“...His pressure’s a little low, and he’s hungry,” James observed. He tugged at Jabu-Jabu’s fin and began to examine it.

“Hold still!!” a voice shouted from behind Jabu-Jabu. “If you keep strugglin’, I’ll never get it off!!” John looked at the whale’s side, and saw his old fishing teacher, with a pair of pliers, struggling and pulling on something that was latched unto Jabu-Jabu’s scales.

[/COLOR]With a grunt, she finally pulled it off. It was a large barnacle, about the size of a basket-ball (yes, that is a small barnacle around there). The teacher was about to throw the barnacle when she noticed John. “You!!” she shouted.

“Yep, I’m back!” John said proudly. The teacher threw the barnacle at John’s direction. “Head’s up!!” John shouted as he ducked. James suddenly looked up from his examination upon hearing this.

“How come---” James looked just in time to see the barnacle land on his face. At first James didn’t say anything, but then he began to scream when he noticed that the Barnacle had latched unto his face.

James fell to the ground and struggled and writhed as he tried to pull it off in vain. “Get it off!!!” his muffled voice wailed. John pulled James to his feet, gave the barnacle a tickle, then jerked it off. James felt his sore face. “As if having my chin inflamed daily by my face-brace wasn’t enough!” James moaned.

“What are you doing here?!” the teacher demanded as she jumped over to where the party was.

“I was given a pardon if I where to get Ruto out,” John said.

“With the added bonus of the king’s chamber-pot!” Steve added.

“Why is the green dress talking?!” the teacher demanded.

“It is NOT A DRESS!” Steve roared. “It is a 50% cotton, 50% skulltula silk, dry-clean only, Kokiri-Tunic!!! Oh, which reminds me, I just got wet.” *CREAAK!* Steve’s Tunic shrunk to almost half it’s original size.

“How come it didn’t shrink before?” John asked.

“50% Skulttula silk, water-proof! Hello?!” Steve said obliviously. The teacher glared at John.

“You’ll never get her out!!” the teacher said. “I was lucky to get out alive as it is! But if you want to save her, I’m not stopping you!” the teacher tapped on Jabu-Jabu, coaxing him to open his mouth. “With you and Ruto gone, the Zora realm will be a better place!!” the teacher said before leaving.

James looked into Jabu-Jabu’s gaping mouth.

“Are we really going in there?” he asked.

“Yep,” John said as he shoved James in. “And we’re getting the VIP treatment, let’s go!!”

“VIP as in V.ery I.nsane P.unishment!!” Steve groaned.

“We’re coming this time!!” Lass said. “I don’t wanna miss out anymore!”

“We fell down a mountain for crying out-loud!!” James shot back. “I think you girls have had enough excitement for one day!!”

“I’d like to see the inside!” Malon said.

“Walk right in!!” James said in a courteous tone. Lass, Impa, and Malon walked into Jabu-Jabu. John looked at James in disgust, but said nothing.

“You let them in just because of Malon?” John asked.

“...Yeah!” James answered. John turned around and proceeded into Jabu-Jabu’s mouth.

“You are such an idiot!” he mumbled.

“What? What?!” James asked. Suddenly James was overwhelmed by the stench of fish breath.
James turned one last longing look of the outside as Jabu-Jabu shut his trap.
 
Last edited:

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
Chpt 16: “In the belly of a whale!”

[video=youtube;_61PBJfQY3I]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_61PBJfQY3I[/video]

The inside was dark and was only lightly illuminated by strangle floating bubbles. Impa waved her hand in front of her nose.

“Boy it stinks like a house of the dead in here!!” she groaned. “And I should know! I used to hide in one!” The group looked at Impa in surprise. “You know... occasionally...” she added.

“No you didn’t!” Lass said. “You gave yourself up after TP-ing the castle during the civil war, you never hid!!”

“Oh really?!” Impa asked. “The air must be doing something to me..!” John took a book out of his bag.

“What’s that?” Lass asked.

“Idiot’s guide for Legendary whales,” John said as he flipped through the pages. “Long story short, it’s a map, a lot better than the dungeon map!”

“How’s that?” James asked.

“It tells you all the ways you can get out of here, like the mouth, the rear, and the two tear holes.”

“Yuck!” everyone groaned.

“But back to the point, the only way to get through to the rest of the system is the throat.” John continued. James walked to the back of the mouth and found an organic door of sorts. But when he gripped it and pulled, it wouldn’t budge.

“But this thing’s as tough as Mammy’s rubber tree-soup!” James complained.

“Hence!” John said as he looked at a page. “We have to trigger the gag reflex to make him open it! We have to hit the target at the top of his mouth.” Steve readied his slingshot.

“So we have to hit the cow-- the cow?!” the group saw that in the gum of the mouth, there were two cows, both on respective sides of the mouth. Malon moaned and fainted, with James able to catch her. James struggled under the weight.

“You’re... h-heavier, than I thought!” James groaned before he succumbed to the weight and fell over.

Steve shrugged and shot the cow, which opened the bizarre barrier ahead of them.

The group carefully proceeded, wary of anything that might happen. John stepped forward and beheld the new room.

“Friends and enemies alike,” he said. “Welcome to the contents of a whale’s stomach! Home of million stenches!”

“Yeah, and I think I can smell a hundred of them right now!” Impa said as she held her nose.

“Anyway,” John said as he looked at his book. “The place where the trouble is coming from is most likely in his stomach, and the way to the stomach is...” John looked over to a pit on one side of the room. “That-a-way!” He said as he pointed at it. The group looked down the pit. There was an unidentifiable liquid at the bottom (okay, so it wasn’t unidentifiable, but do you want me to tell you what it is?!). But what really stood out was a platform made of flesh, with boney spikes sticking out of the edges, was floating up and down the pit.

“...That’s not right,” Impa said. “How could it float? It’s just not possible!” John flipped through his book.

“Actually, it’s being pushed up and down by Jabu’s breathing,” John said as he read from a page. “It’s light enough to be effected by his breathing.” The group carefully stepped unto the platform.

“Anything else we should know?” James asked.

“Yeah, it can only hold up to five-hundred pounds,” John said. “We’re lucky, ‘cause the kids only weigh 70.” John gave James a look. “Some of us, anyway!” James rolled his eyes and got unto the platform. But then the platform made a wheezing sound, and began to plummet. “-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!-” finally the platform hit the pool below. John and the others swam to the surface and gasped for air. John gave James an uncertain look.

“Somebody back there weighed a LOT more than 70...” he said. James angrily splashed the liquid in John’s face and swam for dry land (so flesh isn’t exactly dry, but what else could I say?).

The group walked through the veiny caverns, carefully avoiding any body defense systems that might be around the corner. The caverns began to grow increasingly darker, but then began to light up again, around a strange layer of Ice on the wall.

“What’s this?” Zelda asked. “It’s where all the brain-freezing goes,” John said. “Oh yeah, it’s possible!” he added. “When ever anything too cold enters the body, the cold is sucked out of it and left here.” Impa began to fumble at her short hair.

“Yeesh, that stuff is impossibly wet!” she groaned. “My hair’s still soaked through!” Impa stopped and opened her bag. “I’m going to go find something to plug this hair-drier into.” James laughed.

“We don’t have hair-driers in medieval times--” Impa produced a purple hair-drier from her bag.
“Well, well! I guess you do!” Impa walked down another path. “I’ll go with her!” Zelda called as she ran after her. Steve noticed a glowing apportion on the wall.

“Ooh! Shiny!” Steve said as he reached for it, but John slapped it away.

“Don’t touch that!” he exclaimed.

“Well, why not?” Steve asked. John flipped to a page in his book.

“Those pustules are what illuminate the cavern!” he said. “They contain tiny electric bacteria that constantly give off light, but there are a whole lot more around here, and they’re all connected! One bit of the slightest amount of extra pressure, and they’ll all go out for a second, and the one who touches it will be more burnt than a steak at a barbecue!” At hearing this, Steve backed away from the light. James’ eyes widened with fear.

“Wait! Does Impa know all that?!” he asked. Suddenly the light in the cavern began to grown dim as the sound of electrical crackling came from the end of the corridor.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH-HA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!” Horrible screaming broke out from the other end. Zelda frantically ran over to the party.

“Don’t worry!” she said out of breath. “She just needs some ice!” Then Zelda Karate-chopped a whole chunk of ice from the wall and ran off.

Much later, after Impa had regained control of her legs (and by control, I don’t mean she couldn’t move them!), the party progressed through the cavern. The party eventually came to a room that was too dark to see in. The only thing that characterized the room was the sound of rushing air and blue glowing floating objects.

“Am I the only one who’s noticing that the air flow is getting stronger?” James asked. Steve licked his finger and held it up.

“Nope, it’s getting windy,” he said. “I wonder why--” Suddenly the party found themselves falling through a hole. “That’s why....!” Steve cried as they fell. John frantically flipped through the book.

“Aw, great!” he groaned. “We’re heading down the throat! En-route to the Stomach!”

“THIS is the throat?!” James asked. “Then what was all that *beep!* in the back?!”

“That was the Saliva gland!” John said as he flipped through the book some more. “We have two choices; A, head down the air-pipe and into the lungs, slightly dangerous...”

“And the other?!” James asked.

“The stomach,” John answered. “Horrifyingly dangerous!”

“How dangerous?!” Steve asked. John’s answer was throwing a rupee down the throat. A sound like shattering broke out from the bottom as smoke rose to the party, choking them. “Oh, That dangerous!” Steve said.

“His stomach acid is strong enough to burn flesh!” John said. “A lot like ours’!” he added.

“And why don’t we burn from the inside?!” Zelda called.

“Simple,” John said. “Mucus!” The girls shrieked in disgust.

“So what do we do?!” Steve asked. “Snot-up till we’re covered?!”

“Nope,” John said. He hurled himself into the wall of the throat, coating himself in the slime that covered it. “We do this!” The rest of the party reluctantly followed John’s orders, hurtling into the wall and getting covered. Finally, they hit the acid below, not burned a bit. John slowly rose from the acid, disgust written all over his face.

“That... is the last time, we pull a stunt like that!” James growled as he pulled himself out of the sludge. The others pulled themselves out, wringing out their clothes. James began to sniff in the air, smelling something odd. “Something smells like it’s burning...” James said. The party looked at Steve.

“Did you completely cover yourself on the way down?” Zelda asked.

“Y-Yes...!” Steve stammered. “W-why?---” *FWOOSH!* Steve’s hat went on fire. “...Waaaah!!” Steve ran across the room, rolling and screaming as his hat was burnt to a crisp. Steve pulled his hat off and spat on it to put the flames out. “Aw... this hat was made from the cotton of the first Deku tree!” He complained.

“You bought it from a ‘5 rupees’ store, didn’t you?” James asked.

“Yep...” Steve said as he hung his head and slapped his charred hat back unto his head.


The group walked through another part of the stomach, an area that had holes sucking downwards that led to a room below.

“This is like that dark room we ran into earlier,” James said.

“Yeah,” Steve said as he straightened his hat. “But this time, I’m ready--” Steve caught himself as he nearly fell into a hole.

“Oh yeah, sure you are!” John said with a laugh. John approached the wall and found two strange blue obstructions sticking from the wall.

“Kay... that’s a little weird,” James said. Steve put his ear up to the wall of the wall and heard muffling.

“Some one’s inside there!” Steve said frantically. “And I think it’s Ruto!”

“Some one isn’t inside there!” John said as he approached the obstructions and measured them with his sword. “She’s only two thirds in there!” Steve was about to object, but was struck by something.

“These are her legs?!” he asked in disbelief. John studied them again.

“...Six toes on each foot, and a mole just under the first pinkie toe... That’s her!” John turned around. “We found her. Let’s go.”

“The deal was to bring her back!” James shouted.

“Yes, bring her back!” John said. “And not cut her out of Jabu’s insides!”

“Then how is she supposed to get out?!” James asked.

“‘Kay, Fine!” John groaned. “Everything the easy way!” He approached the wall, raised his sword, and poked around the wall (*Dun, D-Da-Dun*), then knocked on it like a door (*DUH-DUN!*). …Nothing happened.

“This had better be one of those ‘waiting’ moments!” James said. *Splurt!*

“Aaaaah!” Ruto was ejected from the wall, and landed not too far from the group.

“Peoples, maidens, and Singles,” John said. “Behold the contents of a whale’s stomach, again. But this time, it has a member of the Zora royal family in it!” Ruto slowly pulled herself to her feet.

“It’d better not be that Posiedon Jerk!!” Ruto said as she wiped herself off. Then she saw John and glared. “Oh, don’t tell me! Daddy sent YOU in here?!”

“Posiedon?” John asked. “ ‘YOU’?” Steve asked. “You still call him daddy?” James asked. Everyone looked at him. “What? WHAT?!” James asked obliviously.

“Anyway” John said. “Ruto, let’s play ‘follow the leader’ outta here so we can get the sapphire from you pop.”

“He doesn’t have it, Brain Coral!” Ruto spat. “I had it, until Jabu-Jabu sucked it up! Then I had to get sucked in myself to go after it!” The group was quiet for a moment. “Oh, so that’s what happened!” John said.

“He’s innocent after all!” Zelda said. Ruto snorted.

“Hah! No!” she spat. “I made it look like you were responsible!”

“This is about the birthday isn’t it?” John asked. “Or is it the whoopie cushion? The jewelry box? The shaved doll? The pan flute?”

“None of those--!” Ruto paused. “What about my Pan flute? !! So it was you! And you shaved Mrs.Puff-fish’s head?!”

“Guilty is charged,” John said.

“You told me that guard did it!” Ruto cried. “I had him executed!”

“-Oooooh...!-” Everybody gasped.

“Don’t take it the wrong way,” John said. “When they say executed, they just turn them back into normal fish.”

“-Ah!!-” Everyone said in realization.

“Come to think of it, some Zora eat fish, so it’s just as bad...” John added. Everyone eyed Ruto suspiciously. Ruto turned around to see what they were looking at, then realized that she was the one that was being looked at.

“What? What?!” Ruto asked.

“You’re a Princess,” Zelda said. “And you have your subjects executed?”

“Uh... duh!” Ruto said. “I’m pretty sure that stuck-up snob, poor excuse for royalty, Zelda, does the same thing!”

“Uh, excuse me, Ruto-starfish!” John said.

“Don’t insult me! Clown fish!” Ruto shot back. John gripped his heart and began to breathe heavily.

“Well... uh... thank you, Starfish-san!” John said, close to tears.

“Enough with the starfish!” Ruto shouted.

“But it’s only true!” John said. “Starfish’s don’t have brains! Only a web of nerve...!” John hissed. Ruto’s face turned into a bright red, and she began to breath so heavily that it looked like she would burst.

“I am so steamed!” she growled. “If I were a mirror, you could not SEE YOURSELF!”

“Anyway, Starfish no Hime,” John said. “Allow me to introduce you to Zelda no Hime !” he said as he pointed behind him.

“Her?!” Ruto asked as she pointed at Malon.

“Oh, do you really think so?” Malon asked as she patted her hair.

“Yeah,” Ruto said. “She’s even more hideous than I imagined.” If this scene was in an Anime, Malon’s color would’ve gone invert from the shock of the words. Malon sank to the ground in despair.

“No, Starfish no Hime” John said. “(Forgive me, Your majesty) Zelda is really, as your people would call her, the dumb blond!” This time Zelda went Invert.

“Really?” Ruto asked. “But she’s so much p-p-p-pretty!”

“Pretty-er?” John suggested.

“No!” Ruto said. “I just have some.... competition! But Princesses shouldn’t have competition! One’s more prettier than the other! That’s all there is to it!” She shouted. “And it should be ME!” She looked at John. “Link of the Zora clan! Who is more prettier? Me or Zelda!”

“Hm...” John pondered. “Inside or outside?”

“I doesn’t matter!” Ruto hissed.

“So I can do both?” John asked.

“Just pick one!” Ruto shouted.

“Okay!” John said. “This is a no-brainer! It is obviously... Zelda!!” This time Ruto went Invert.

“Whaddya mean Zelda?!” Ruto demanded as she grabbed John by the collar.

“You said inside or out didn’t matter, so---” John began. “Wait, do you mean she’s nicer than me?!”

“Uh...D-uh!” John spat. Ruto went invert again. But she quickly recovered.

“Wait, you picked her because she’s just nice, so that means I’m prettier, RIGHT?!” She roared.

“...You don’t want me to answer that!” John said slowly.

“Hey! That’s my line!” James called.

“You’re a fish!” John said. “Only an old fisherman could see any beauty in you!” Ruto fell down in despair and went Invert again. “But we got more important matters on hand!” John said. “We need you to help us find that stone!”

“He doesn’t... I’m not pretty... he’s... I’m not...” Ruto murmered.

“Oh brother!” John groaned as he began to pull Ruto away by the fin.

“What’s with the invert thingy?” Impa demanded.

“And I thought you would understand, Amazon!” Steve said. Now Impa went invert.

“Don’t drop out on us yet, Impa.” James said. “We need you to help us carry Malon and Zelda, they haven’t recovered yet!”

“What do I look like?!” Impa asked. “The maid?!”

“You sure looked like one back at the castle.” Steve said.

“Hmph! Amazon... Maid...!” Impa grumbled to herself as she picked the two girls up and went with the others into the next room.
 

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
This chapter was written to celebrate Blue Link's real world birthday!
Chpt 17: “All this and Stinger stew”

The group continued through the belly, regardless of smell or fear.

“Does nauseousness count?” Steve asked... (did he just respond to the narration? That’s weird...) “You’ve been following us since Zelda III, why can’t you just leave us alone?!” Steve cried. (Listen here boy! If you want an audience, I gotta talk! And excuse me for leaning the ‘on-air’ button!)
“Then can you get off?!” John demanded. (...O-oh! Sure!) *beep!*

Continuing along, they found a door, but a pool of liquid was in between them and the door.

“Great, more stomach juice!” James groaned. James saw something move inside the water. He looked closer and saw a little manta-ray squirming in the juice. It curiously moved closer to the surface where James was, and it poked its little head from out of the water. James held out his finger to it. “Hey there little--” The ray jumped out of the water, opened huge teeth-filled jaws, and nearly bit off James’ hand before it fell back into the water. “--Guy...?!” James said in half fright.

“Should’ve warn you about those,” John said. “Stingers, nasty little things! They jump out at you when you least--” Another sting jumped out of the water and clamped its jaws right in front of John’s face. “--Expect.” He finished.

Steve attempted to put his foot into the water, but common sense got the better of him, and he refrained.

“How do we get across?” Steve asked. John looked around the room, and saw a button on the wall. He looked back at the Stingers as they began to swarm and boil at the surface.

“Ah ...erh!” John’s mind raced. “Hold on! Hold on--!” John stuttered-- *Pang!* A dopey expression appeared on John’s face.

“What’s with him?” Ruto asked.

“Brain-strain,” James. “Thought too much at once.” John looked around desperately for a projectile to hit the switch, until he finally found one.

“Oh! Thank the Tri-force!” John exclaimed. “I’ve been wanting to do this since 2nd grade!”

“--What?!--” everyone asked.

Ruto found herself hurtling towards the switch.

“Waaaaaaaaaah!” she screamed as she flew through the air.

“Nothin personal!” John called.. “Oh wait, it is!! Nyah-hahahahaha!” John let out a maniacal laugh.

“What’s so personal?” James asked.

“She gave me something for my birthday,” John said. “That turned out to be an exploding pie!!” The group looked at Ruto as she hurtled.

“Only because you stole my scale-comb!” she called back. The group turned to John.

“Only because you tricked me into sitting on a whoopie cushion!” John called back. The group looked back at Ruto.

“Only because you switched my lip-stick with a squid!” she called back. The group look surprised at John.

“You’d think somebody be able to tell the difference,” John said. The group nodded and looked back at Ruto.

“Man!” she said. “This is taking a long time---” *SPLAT!!!* Ruto stood flattened against a giant switch.

“Ooh, it was farther than I anticipated,” John said. *FLUSH!* The water slowly began to drain from the pool. The stingers began to gasp as their water depleted. A ladder revealed itself on the edge of the wall as the water depleted. The group carefully stepped into the dried pool and walked across, careful not to touch the gasping stingers. James shot a look at the ladder.

“I’ll go check that out!” James shouted as he ran for the ladder.

“I wanna go too!” Steve shouted as he followed. Nobody noticed that as Ruto oozed off of the button, a strange clicking sound appeared.

James and Steve climbed the ladder and found a small cavern with pots and crates in it.

“What kind of stuff does this guy eat?!” Steve asked.

“ ‘Very Fragile’ stuff,” James answered as he read a crate.

“Don’t crates have goodies in them?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, but judging by the crate, we should take it easy on them,” James said. The two brothers looked at each other and began to laugh obliviously as they each picked up a crate. They threw down the crates, and the brittle wood shattered on the fleshy floor. The two heard glass shatter as two fairies flew from the crates.

“We’re free!” One of them squeaked.

“Wha--?” Steve began.

“Don’t say anything!” James said. “Just grab one!” The two began to grab aimlessly at the balls of light all to no avail.

“If we had bottles this would be a whole lot easier!” Steve complained. James carefully groped among the shattered crates.

“Apparently, those fairies were bottled from the start!” James said as he carefully picked up a shard of glass. “But they shattered when the crates did!”

“Kay, so we need to find some more bottles...” Steve said. “Ch-ya, Where are we going to find some more bottles?!” Steve asked.

“Hi-ya!” The two turned around to see Malon jump into the cavern, carrying two bottles of Lon-Lon Milk. She popped the corks out, drank one bottle in one gulp, poured the other out, and threw the two bottles like shurikens at the two fairies. Steve and James made crazy maneuvers to avoid being struck. The bottles slammed into the walls on the open sides, with the fairies stuck inside. James stood in awe.

“...Thanks, I guess.” James said.

“No prob’!” Malon said as she threw the two corks over to the boys. They carefully removed the bottles from the wall and stuck the corks inside, trapping the fairies.

“We should get down now...” Steve said as he stuck his head out the entrance.

“Why?” James asked. “Afraid of heights?”

“No!” Steve said. “Look!!” The three looked down and saw that the milk that Malon had poured out was nearby the exhausted stingers. One stinger weakly began to suck up the milk, and others followed. The stingers’ eyes popped open with energy, and they began to vibrate crazily.

“What’s with them?” James asked.

“Quiet!!” Malon snapped.

“Why? There’s absolutely no--!”

“Shush!” Malon said. “Don’t you hear that?” The three, including the ones below on the other side, listened quietly... tic-tock... tic-tock..tic-tock.tic-toc,tictoktictock!Tictocktictock!

“What’s that noise?!” Steve asked.

“Aaah!” The group turned to see Ruto finally fall off of the wall, and the button erected. Water began to flow back into the pool. The stingers began to jump in and out of the water at lightning speed, making little ‘yahoo’ noises as they went.

“What’s going on now?!” James asked.
“The milk the stingers drank is acting like soda-pop to a baby,” John said. “AKA; Ultra-sugar-rush!!”

The stingers began to move so quickly that they began to get covered with electrical charges. James looked from one side to the other.

“What do we do now?” Steve asked. “Hop across?!”

“Great idea!” James said. He grabbed Malon, jumped down, and using the stingers as pads, jumped to the other side. Steve reluctantly followed. The three finally made it to the other side.

“That could’ve gone better!” Malon said as she tore from James’ grip.

“Oh yeah, sure!” James said as he sat down. “Don’t mind me... the guy who came up with it, and got his boots brunt for it!” James said angrily.

“MY IDEA!” Steve said. “You chose to hop across without a second thought and stepped on the super-charged ones! The no-charged ones where moving in a pattern!”

“Pattern?!” James said. “There was a pattern?!” James beheld his crispy boots. “Dang it...! At least we got these fairies,” James said as he held up the two bottles.

“Are you sure anyone wouldn’t mind?” John asked.

“Like who?” James asked.

”US!!” The group turned around and saw the three fairies flutter over. ”Have any idea how hard it is to navigate through a whale without any human help?!” Gaia asked. ”We had to get Terry out of Jabu’s Nasal passage!”. Terry shuddered at the memory.

“Wait!” Steve said. “What about Ruto?!” Steve asked.

“She fell in a while ago,” John said. “She should be coming up any minute now...”

“Aaaah!” The group saw Ruto in the distance in the electrified water, electrocuting. “Ah-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!!” She slowly limped over to the other side.

“Why don’t you help her out?” James asked as Ruto neared the other side.

“I’m not touching that Electric eel!” John said.

“She’s not an electric eel!” Zelda said. “She’s a normal eel!”

“Not after her little dip in there!” John said.

“What if she tells Her daddy about how mean you were to her and calls of the deal?!” James asked.

“I got his chamber-pot!” John said as he held it up.

“This is why you took it in the first place, isn’t it?” James asked.

“Yep!” John said with a wink.

“How did you jump into the caver?” James asked Malon.

“I ran up the wall,” Malon answered. James barely laughed.

“How’d you get up the wall?” he repeated.

“I ran up the wall,” Malon answered again. James look at the others, and they were nodding gravely. *Crackle!* The group saw a fried Ruto climb out of the water, still with electricity crackling over her. She sluggishly approached John.

“I...Hate...YOU!!” She hissed before collapsing.

“Is she dead?” Steve asked quietly. Impa nudged Ruto with her sword sheath carefully.

“Nope,” She answered.

“Shoot...!” John said angrily. Ruto crawled to her feet.

“Let’s move on, shall we?!” She hissed. The group nodded and walked on ahead. Ruto gripped John’s shoulder before he could leave.

“When we get outta here,” she growled. “I’m gonna have you’re head on a platter!”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” John said showing Ruto King Zora’s chamber-pot. Ruto gasped.

“That’s daddy’s most prized possession!” she exclaimed. “How’d you get that?!”

“I bribed him for it,” John answered.

“Didn’t he put up a fight?” she asked.

“Nope, he was already a little depressed after I ‘pushed’ you into Jabu’s stomach!” John answered. Ruto growled.

“You knew, didn’t you?” She asked. “You knew that I went in there for real to get you into trouble, so you made Daddy give up his most prized possession just to get back?!”

“Bingo!” John said as he walked back to the group, swinging the chamber-pot behind him. Ruto snarled and began to follow the group, occasionally zapping along the way. John soon noticed that Zelda was eyeing him. “What?!” he asked.

“What exactly were you and French-fry doing back there?” she asked suspiciously.

“I always thought she looked like a Potato,” John said. “But she doesn’t exactly speak french--” Zelda jerked John by the collar and held him in front of her until they were eye-level.

“You know what I mean!” she shouted. “Are you seeing another woman, Link?” she asked.

“Well I’m not exactly seeing you,” he said. “Thanks to Katana-Mama over there!” Impa immediately turned around and held a sword blade to John. “No offense! Impa!” John shouted.

“...You called me Impa...” Impa said. “Good...!” Impa sheathed her sword and walked away.

“Back to the point!” John said. “I’m not seeing other women! We’re both 10! At least you are anyway...”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Zelda asked. “You’re not 10?’’

“Mentally anyway,”John said. “I’m in the Body of a ten-year-old, I really just turned 15!” Zelda gave John a bewildered look. “Don’t worry!” John said. “Ruto was only threatening not to give us the sapphire when we get outta here.”

“How’d you get out of it?” Lass asked.

“I told her I had her dad’s most prized possession; his chamber-pot!”

“YUCK!” Zelda dropped John.

“But’s its perfectly clean!” John said. “Its a family heirloom! Only Zoras that were in the middle of their metamorphosis used it.”

“...Kay...” Zelda said as they continued.

“Oh yeah!” James said as he ran up to John. “I found this earlier!” James handed John an angular shaped sheath of leather. John held it with distaste.

“Thanks.” he said blandly. “I can use it for my sword, which is completely straight in shape!!” John began to tear at it, until the leather gave away to reveal an angular shaped piece of wood with a gem placed in the center. John held in his hands, which where shaking with surprise. “A boomerang?!” he shouted. “This would’ve saved us a WHOLE lot of trouble! Where’d you find this?!”

“In a crate on our way in,” James answered.

“I have a perfect aim!” John shouted. “I could’ve used this long ago, and Ruto wouldn’t have gotten fried!” Zelda eyed John and began to growl.

“But you said--” Steve began.

“If she dies, then that means no sapphire either way!” John replied. “And that in turn means; THE END OF HYRULE!”

“...Erh... Happy birthday?” James asked. John glared.

“Zip it and walk!”
 
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