Zelda Art The Legend of Zelda: ........Lozoot?

[Chiraku]

Chapter 6: Hyrule

"So, then I met you guys here!" Steve had just finished his story. James was scribbling something down in a notebook.

"Parasitic arachnid queen Gohma/甲殻寄生獣ゴーマ..." James said aloud as he sketched an impression of Gohma and writing the title.

"What is with that notebook?!" John asked.

"I like keeping track of things..." James replied as he put his notebook back into his bag. Then James noticed three orbs of light were approaching them.

"Wait... Up!!" Navi and the other fairies apparently weren't able to keep up with Steve. James smiled.

"Three fairies?!" He cried. Navi and the two others approached the other three.

"Three Links?!" Terry cried.

"Who are these?" John asked.

"I'M NAVI!" - "I'M GAY" - "I'M *TUH*" The three fairies exclaimed.

"I though it was... Navi, Gaia, and Terry..." Steve muttered.

"What the Deku tree said put quite the impression on us!!" Navi exclaimed.

"They didn't tell me there'd be two..." The boys all looked up and screamed. There was a gigantic owl resting on a nearby tree.

"Who are you?!" Steve cried. The owl turned his head around 180 degrees.

"I am Kaepora Gaebora, I am here to guide you three," the owl explained.

"Pardon our refusal, but we already know where we're going," John said in ignorance.

"OH?!" the owl asked, shifting his head to upright position. "Do you know you have exactly 42 seconds until nightfall?!" Everyone stood dumbfounded until John came up with a solution.

"Oh! I get it! Time goes by faster here! To us it's been four hours, when it's almost been half a day!! So we have about--"

"22 seconds until the gate closes!!" Kaepora cut in. Suddenly the sound of a gate creaking was heard. Every one screamed and ran for the drawbridge. James grabbed unto it, John Grabbed unto James' arm, and Steve grabbed unto John's leg. The three pulled themselves unto the top of the draw bridge, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Hey, the city's bigger than in the game!" James observed.

"Why not take a closer look?!" John asked as he pushed the other two over into city with a laugh.

"WE'LL TELL MOOOOOM!!" The two yelled as they plummeted into the city. John was still snickering when he noticed something.

"Oh! Look!

20!" John said as he reached for a red rupee floating in mid-air, until he toppled over and fell unto his siblings.

"How was your trip?" James asked.

"'Got the rupee!" John answered, placing the rupee into his pocket. James sighed and heard a soft rumbling and held his stomach.

"Well! I was so excited by everything that I forgot how hungry I was!" he admitted. "Hey John! Can I have that

20?"


"None of the stores are open at night, I don't think it'll do any good..." John answered.

"'Wasn't what I had in mind, but Oh well," James said with a sigh. The three fairies caught up with the three boys and Terry just heard James about being hungry.

"Hey! You're lookin' for something to eat, right?!" Terry asked.

"Ah... what can you do about it?" Jams asked.

"Watch, and learn, and the master shall tutor you, my young pupil!" Terry announced as he fluttered away into an alley. The others watched on quietly as Terry disappeared into the night.

"What's he going to do?" John asked quietly.

"Oh, Terry's a troublemaker, even among us fairies, (who are strictly told not to serve ourselves) Terry is a ball of trouble," Navi muttered with more than a little worry in her voice. "Everything he does for himself is bound to end up in big trouble--"

"GET OUTTA HERE AND DON'T COME BACK TILL YOU HAVE A REAL JOB-- AND SOME PITCH!!!!" a guard had just finished chasing Terry out of an alley. "Lousy Puff-ball..." The guard muttered to himself as he returned to his post. James turned to Navi with a wide, sarcastic smile on his face.

"Looks like the master needs tutoring!" James said with sarcasm in his voice.

"--And wisdom!" John added, looking all professional and like he was going to teach something. Everyone stared at him.

"Just because you're the color of wisdom, doesn't means that you have Wisdom!" James replied.

"I do SO have Wisdom!" John objected. "2+2=4!" James rolled his eyes.

"Oh brother, I'm so ashamed..." Steve said with a sigh. "Everyone knows that!"

"Zoras don't!" John replied. Gaia whistled.

"Wow, he's a genius in his home..." Gaia commented. "--Dibs on the fish-boy!!" she announced, flying over to John. Steve looked up at Navi.

"Well, I guess I'll take Navi..." Steve muttered. "I mean, I'm the green one..."

"So who do I get?!" James cried. "THE OUTLAW?!" A cat just screeched in the background, and Terry returned "wearing" (of course fairies don't have hands) two cat-like gloves with claws on them.

"Just a moment guys, the food's almost here," Terry began sharpening the claws. " A 'Scratchy voice' huh? I'll give that Yodelin' Chef a scratchy voice!" Terry fluttered away, leaving the others left with only to wonder what would happen next. After a few minutes of racket, Terry returned, carrying a sac of food scrap.

"I'm back! I knew singing in the diner alley would get us some food!" Terry said triumphantly as he dropped the sac as it's contents spilled unto the pavement; Moldy biscuits, half-eaten sausage ropes, overripe apples, and a bag of meat slices. John and James began to eat out of the bag.

"Eew, Idth raw!" John spat, still stuffing his face.

"Yah! Idth nazdy" James added, still eating the scraps. Steve frowned at the food, and then chuckled.

"Luckily, I come prepared!" Steve announced as he pulled a large fruit out of his bag. Everyone stared at the peculiar fruit Steve had produced.

"Nice Coconut!" James commented.

"It is NOT a coconut!" Steve objected, carving a small hole into the fruit with his sword. But as the hole was open, steam began to erupt from it.

“The Koki-fruit is a Kokiri-exclusive fruit that the best Kokiri scholars (8th graders) invented when they cross-bred all the fruit they knew of with a small blue seed they found. Eating this is like eating water-melon that tastes like Coca-Cola!” Steve explained, ignoring the other’s frantic reactions to the steam. “The fruit is very unstable, however, and must be prepared carefully, luckily this one is---”

“It’s spurting steam!!” the others cried.

“That’s what I was trying to say! This one is…” Steve froze in his tracks. “Did you say steam?!” Steve stared at the fruit, and with a frantic yelp, threw it into the same alley that Terry had left.
KABOOM!!
A guard, covered in fruit-flesh and half-charred armor staggered out of the alley.

“OK! OK! I GIVE! YOUR VOICE IS BUEITIFUL! JUST DON’T BOMB ME AGIA---” The guard stared at the party. “Darn it! You kid’s watch where you throw you’re--” The guard ate some of the flesh. “—Fruit?!” The guard took another bite of the flesh and walked back into the alley. Steve frantically got back to his feet.

“Wait!!” He cried. “You’re not supposed to eat that---!”
KABOOOM! Everyone stared at the alley.

“ You can do what you want…” A weak voice gasped. An Idea popped into John’s head.

“Can we sleep in your bunk?” He asked. The guard crawled from the alley.

“You can do anything! Just stop bombin’ me!” The guard wailed.

The party had nestled into sleeping bags that were inside the bunk. Luckily, there weren’t any other guards who slept in the there, so they were safe from being ratted out. The others were quiet like they always were right before they were ready to go to sleep.

“Hey… John?” James whispered. John slowly turned over to look at James. “Do you think we’ll stay here, in… the Ocarina of time world, or will we go home when we sleep?” James asked. John stared at James for a moment.

“Let’s sleep and find out!” He said with a little sarcasm, who was eager to get to bed. “I have a lot to get off of my chest, with Ruto and all…” John noticed that James was staring at him. “It’s not my fault she stepped on a landmine on her 6th birthday!” John stated. James slowly closed his eyes.

“Good night… I hope…” James muttered.

“It’s not ‘good night’ for Ruto!” John replied with a laugh. James slowly drifted to sleep….

 

[Zelda's_Child]

That was a great chapter!!!

You're a great writer!!!

 

[Chiraku]

t

Thank's Zelda's_Child, but I don't do these alone, you should give some thanks to my brothers too, but that was a nice comment.
Chpt 7: Disaster and the Diner

Morning light poured into the bunk. Steve slowly rose to his feat, stretched, and was about to lay down to rest when…

“ATTEN-TION!!” All the boys suddenly awoke, stood upright, and saluted, with their respective fairies by their side. The guard who had let them stay in the bunk was giving them a morning drill. “I’ve never seen so lazy-“ the guard glared at Steve, “Sluggish-!” the guard glared at James, but when he turned to John, his sense of smell overrode everything else and only one word could come to mind. “-*Yuck!* and SMELLY, troopers in my life!!” the guard berated.

“Well, you don’t exactly smell fresh from the shower!!” John returned. The guard frowned at John and then opened the door.

“Get out there!! I’m tired of sharing my bunk with a pack of wolf pups!” the guard berated. As the three were shoved out of the house, John turned around and began to yell.

“You haven’t seen the last of us! We’ll come back with all the Coconut’s we can carry!” John threatened. “We’ll blast this place to kingdom-come!!” Steve groaned.

“They’re called Koki-fruit!” Steve corrected.

The three walked through the town. It had grown a lot livelier since last night.

“Let’s find ourselves some breakfast,” John suggested. “We should try the diner before that guard comes back to his post.”

The three boys were enjoying a nice meal at the town’s diner, well, everyone except John, who just stared at the food that lay before him.

“What glue is this?” John asked in disgust.

“It’s Hyrule ramen noodles, they’re good for you!” James said in between mouthfuls.

“I’d rather eat my own recipe...” John muttered. “If I can remember it…”

“Oh, so you think you can cook?!” The three boys turned to see the chef approach the group.

“Oh! You’re the yodeling Chef that Terry was talking about…!” James exclaimed. The chef drew back in surprise.

“You’re friends with that cat-pawed sparkle of disaster?!” The chef cried.

“Those claws were gloves that he took from a cat,” James corrected.

“Yeah, I think I can cook!” John replied. The chef popped his neck.

"Are you challenging me?!" the chef asked.

Yeah! One-on-one, you and me, try and make a dish the fastest. The winner, is the fastest made and best tasting!"

"You're on!"

The middle of the diner had been cleared for the two cookers.

"3...2...1... COOK!" James activated a stopwatch (don't ask how he got one) and the two cooks immediately began stirring and mixing. In almost no time at all, the two were done mixing and threw their creations in to an oven. After a minute, they removed their creations, blew the steam off of them, and each gave their dish. John took a lick of the chef's cooking.

"Bleuch!" John spat. "What is this?!"

"Goat intestines--!" The chef admitted, only to be cut off by the crowd's reaction.

"EEEW!"The chef grumbled to himself about people not enjoying the classics, and took a bite of John's creation. Surprisingly, he began to weep with pleasure.

"Mmm, Mmmf," He mumbled. "What is this?!...." He cried. John got a professional look in his eye.

" 'Cheeseburger'," John announced. "Only this one uses Real cheese, not like that fast-food stuff they think is so chic!" The chef continued to eat the burger.

"Mmm, Mind if I put this on the menu?!" The chef asked.

"One thing in return:" John answered. "I' don't have to pay for any of the food."

"Deal!" The chef finished the burger. "Speaking of which, how are your brothers going to pay for all of this?" The chef asked. James and Steve froze.

"Well, er, uh, We, uh..." James stuttered.

"You... can... pay for this... can't you?" The chef asked.

"James probably can with his lunch," John suggested. "But Steve... I don't know about Steve, but I thought we don't have to pay for all of this!"

"You don't, but they do!" the chef said greedily.

"Aahh..." John said in comprehension. "Well that's not very nice, he's just a kid."

"Yeah," the chef admitted. "But I didn't get where I am now by being a nice guy. Now then, what are you going to use to pay?" He asked, slowly closing in on Steve.

"mnfmondf..." Steve mumbled, slowly backing away for the door. The chef grabbed Steve's bag and took out the Kokiri emerald.

"Well, this oughtta fit the bill, it looks valuable..." the chef observed.

"You wouldn't like it! It's zirconium, fake jewelry!" John insisted, but the chef wouldn't listen, and he began to put it in his pocket.

"WAIT!!" A young girl, about the age of the boys ran over, took the emerald and bag back, and gave the chef the pay and a little extra.

"

2500?!" Okay, so it wasn't a little extra. Before the boys had enough time to react, the girl lead them out of the restaurant. After the group had ran well out of range, they stopped to catch their breaths.

"Ooh..." James groaned. "Cramp, no one should run after eating a meal." The fairies caught up with the group.

"That was the best cook-off I ever saw!" Terry commented. Navi bumped against him.

"It's the ONLY cook-off you ever saw!" she corrected.

"Or at least allowed to finish" Gaia added. Navi turned to the girl.

"That was awful kind for a complete stranger to do," Navi commented.

"It was no problem," The girl said while kicking a pebble. "I just saw somebody in need, and decided to help." John stared at the girl.

"You just gave up

25,00!!" John exclaimed. "That's enough to..." John trailed as if in thought. "Enough to carve your grave stone!!"

"There's a lot more where that came from!" the girl admitted. Everybody froze in their tracks.

"O-kayy..." John muttered. "So there's a little girl around here with a huge amount of money in her pocket, and considering THAT'S--"John pointed to a bell tower that was forty-five feet. "Is the biggest building around, compared to THAT--" John pointed to a wooden crate that had the words 'home sweet home' written in charcoal on it. "I find that completely impossible! I doubt even bell ringer has that much money!" John exclaimed.

"Ahh..." mumbled the girl.

"Unless..." John said, suspiciously eying the girl. "You're part of the royal bloodline!"

"Ahh...!" the girl said again.

"Or maybe you're just associated with the family," John sighed. "Or a poor maiden who the princess took pity on..."

"Actually, I'm her Nurse-mate!" the girl corrected.

"Huh, makes sense," John said with a sigh, only to have surprise come back to him. "Nurse-mate?!"

"Can you introduce us to her?!" Steve asked. The girl pondered this.

"I just can't let peasants walk into the Princess' premises," the girl said. "As far as I'm concerned, you could be assassins!" The girl said, pointing at their swords.

"This sword?!" John asked, taking his sword out and dangling it around. "It couldn't hurt a twig!" he flung the sword toward a tree to prove it, but it's course strayed and flew in a different direction.

"YOWCH!" someone cried.

"Sorry, ma'am!" John called.

"Couldn't hurt a twig, huh?" the girl asked sarcastically.

"Eh-he..." John nervously laughed.

"So how are we supposed to earn your trust?" Steve asked. The girl was quiet for a moment.

"I'll take you to the princess..." the girl began. "...If you play with me for the rest of the day!" Everyone froze.

"All-day?!" Steve cried. "Well, then I suppose we don't have a choice... Who agrees?!" Steve asked.

"AYE!" The fairies answered.

"Traitor...!" John growled at Gaia.

"Aye!" Steve agreed.

"I need to see the nurse...!" James groaned before collapsing. John reluctantly began to tow James away as the group set off into the town.

"Well, what about you, bad eye?" the girl called after John. John groaned.

"It's going to be a looong day..." Steve said with a sigh.

 

[onebizarrekai]

Lol. I love this story.

 

[Chiraku]

We had some trouble planning this one, but we finally got it done. And a new thing; this chapter has music.
CHPT 8: Nurses, masks, and a pair of thieves

While the others waited in town square, John had taken James to the Infirmary. Once they got an appointment, James was taken to the Nurse. She felt James’ pulse, checked his heart-beat with a crude stethoscope of sorts, and checked some of his other areas of health.

“Mm-hmm,” the nurse said to herself while she took out a thermometer. She checked James’ temperature, “Mm-hmm” she repeated, as she checked the temperature. She took out a clip-board and took some notes. “Mm-hmm,” she said before giving her final diagnostic; “He’s sick!” she announced. John stared obliviously at the nurse.

“Wow, you’re good…” he said sarcastically. The nurse placed a clean sheet of paper into her clipboard, and began to ask questions.

“What did you eat recently?” she asked. James pondered a minute before answering.

“I guess rocks, some Hylian Ramen and a dish.”

“Ah, a dish, was it gourmet or junk food?” she asked.

“No, it was low-quality pewter, and when the ramen was gone, I didn’t have anything left to eat, so I ate the dish.” The nurse stared at James.

“Poor child, what were you raised by, gorons?!” she asked.

“…you don’t want me to answer that…” James slowly answered.

“Oh, he’s just tired from the meal, and he’s hallucinating,” The nurse said to John as she walked over to a desk.

“So, how are we going to make him hark it over?” John asked.

“Don’t worry, I know just the thing,” The nurse said.

“This better not involve a rubber glo-ho-hove!” James whimpered.

“Relax, I’m just giving you some cough medicine,” the nurse said as she produced a small pill from a bag.

“But I hate that stuff!” James complained.

“It’s just to help your stomach, and besides, it—“

“I don’t care what the label says; it does NOT taste like Bubble-gum!” James cut in. James got up and ran for the entrance. “I won’t take it and you can’t make me! NYA-HA-HA!!” But James soon found himself on the floor, as John had tripped him.

“Alright, hold him down, I’m going in!” The Nurse said as she got the medicine as John held James to the floor. Once James had consumed a decent amount, he began to groan and hold his stomach. *MMF!* James held his mouth stuck his head into a trash basin.

“Uh-uuuh …” James moaned as he hurled. The nurse looked at what was hurled and shrieked with surprise.

“OHMYGOSH! The kid actually ate rocks!!” the nurse screamed. And before James and John knew what had had happened, they were hurtled out of the office. The two got to their feet.

“Wow, that nurse sure does have strong arms…” John remarked. James looked at the door leading to the office.

“Do I at least get a lollipop?” he asked. *Thwap!* a lollipop was thrown onto James’ forehead.

“What about me?” John asked. *Thwap!* another Lollipop was thrown unto John’s forehead.
***

(You can listen while you read, if you want!)

Steve paced back and forth, occasionally looking at his sundial.

“What’s taking them? It’s a simple check-up… How could it take so long?” Steve asked impatiently.

“It’s a bit of a walk, it probably should take them half an hour to go and come back,” The girl suggested.

“It’s been an hour,” Steve replied.

“There’s a problem.”

“Hey, wait!” Terry exclaimed. “There they are!” The older two boys entered the town square, and James looked a lot better.

“You’re back!” Steve exclaimed, “Ooh, cool!” Steve exclaimed as he jerked the lollipop off of James’ forehead.

“Thanks, can I have it back?” James asked.

“Things would’ve been a lot faster if we got Terry to heal James instead of that crazy Nurse…” John muttered as he jerked the lollipop off of his forehead.

“But then wouldn’t Terry die?” Gaia asked. “N-not that anyone cares, I certainly don’t!”

“Nope, It wouldn’t.” Terry answered. “A fairy will only die if he/she revives somebody, otherwise, they just get tuckered out.”

“Hmm…” James said as he wrote down that fact in his notebook.

“Alright then, hotshot, are you in?” the girl asked John.

“I don’t know, sure, you saved us from that evil restaurant, but we just can’t run off with you, for one, we don’t even know your name,” John answered.

“Ah, erh…” the girl muttered. “L--Lass,” she answered.

“Okay, we know your name, but I refuse to be blackmailed in order to proceed in our mission!” John announced, before snickering.

“Lass… He, He” John laughed.

“Are you Irish?” Gaia asked, “Because, Lass pretty much means Girl in Irish.”

“Doesn’t matter if I am or not…” the girl— erh, Lass stated. “If you don’t play with me, you won’t see Zelda…”

“Correction: you said you would take us to Zelda if we played with you,” John said. “So, I’ll follow you.”

“So me and James have to play with her?” Steve asked. “This is unfair, what do you say, James?” he asked. James popped his neck.

“I love a challenge…” he said in a strong voice while straightening his back. Steve sighed and shrugged.

“Alright then, where should we get started?” he asked as he took out a map. “I got this map from Ye Olde map Shoppe” Steve said as he flipped through the attractions. “‘Open at night’,” he read aloud. “Open at night. Open at night. Ooh! Treasure chest game! Open at night.”

“Why don’t we let Lass decide?” James asked.

“Alright…” Steve said as he shut the map. “I couldn’t read this thing anyway.” Lass pondered for a moment until answering.

“I saw a nice looking game on our way back from the restaurant, I think it was called Bombchu bowling,” Lass said as she looked around for the game. “There it is!” she said as she pointed to a building that clearly had the words

BOMBCHU BOWLING “COME IN AND GET BOMBED!”

The party looked at each other as they approached the building.

“Not a very promising slogan, is it?” Gaia remarked. Upon entering the room, the first thing they heard was KABOOM!
The blast was so powerful that James’ ears went inactive for a second. Once the group had been registered and were given their lane, John began to ask Lass about Zelda.

“So, what is Zelda like?” John asked. “Is she pretty and honest?”

“Well…” Lass began, until another Idea popped into John’s head.

“Or maybe she’s a royal …Pig!” Lass was struck with this idea, and ‘dropped’ her Bombchu on a straight path for John. But he saw it, and took a step out of the way, and instead it headed for James. James only noticed it when it was too late.

“Waah!!”

KABOOOOM!! James stood stunned and charred, and half confused.

“Uh, what’d I do? What’d I do?!” James murmured before collapsing.

“Want to try again?” the cashier asked. “You don’t have to.”
***
The group approached a peculiar building that had gigantic eyes sticking out of the top.

“This looks promising” Terry said sarcastically. “Let’s walk right into a building with two giant eyes staring at you!” But before he was done talking the others had already walked into it.


The group looked around the shop; it was stacked head-to-toe with masks. John began counting the masks.

“Zora mask, Goron mask, Spook mask, MARIO MASK?!” He cried. James was about to touch a goron mask when a shrill voice shrieked:

“DON’T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE!!!!” The group turned to the cashier, who was apparently the one who screeched. “Please? It’s very priceless… eh-ha… eh-ha!” he said in a much calmer voice.

“What is this place?” John asked.

“This is the Happy Mask shop!” The cashier exclaimed. “I’m the owner; the Happy Mask Salesman! I have the biggest mask distribution center in the WORLD!” he boasted.

“Yeah, I bet it’s because it’s the only mask distribution center in the world,” John whispered over to Lass.

“WATCH YOUR TONGUE, BOY!” The salesman roared. “MANY HAVE INSULTED MY WORK AND HAVE GONE HOME WISHING THEY HAD A MASK!!” The last shriek was so high pitched that the Goron mask shattered. “Now then, how about we get down to buissness?” the salesman asked. “Gather ‘round, and let me explain how the Mask Trade works.” The salesman put up a picture showing images of how the “mask trade” worked. “First somebody ‘rents’ a mask, and after paying a mere

15 can keep it up to three days. However, one can sell the masks to other people, as long as they pay double the price of the mask, and another thing, try not to forget about returning the masks… BECAUSE THEY RARE! AND ARE EXSPENSIVE TO REPLACE!!” He roared. “Okay?” Everyone slowly nodded. “’Kay then!” the Salesman said as he clapped his hands and brought out the available masks.

“We have a Zora mask, a goron mask, a Bremen mask (I don’t know why the heck you’d want that!), an exclusive Deku mask (don’t ask how I got it), a Keaton mask, a Mask of truth (animals beware!), a Gerudo mask (use at your own risk!) and finally; the Bunny hood, the scream of speedsters everywhere! *GASP*! So which one will it be?” he asked eagerly.

“I’ll take the Zora mask and that mask of truth,” John said,

“Goron and the Keaton masks” James answered.

“Deku and mask of Bremen mask,” Steve chose the ones he was most familiar with.

“I’ll take the bunny-hood… and what the hay! That Gerudo mask!” Lass answered. “I’m not going out with anybody!”

“Would that be because--” the salesman began only to be cut off.

“No they don’t think I’m ugly!!” Lass remarked. The salesman turned around for a second and when he faced the others again he had the eight masks they requested, and gave them kindly to each of them.

“Now that’ll be

120!” The salesman demanded. Lass threw the salesman 6 red rupees and the group left the shop. John took out the mask of truth and tried it on.

“This is pretty cool!” John exclaimed.

“Hey, the salesman said something about animals,” James said. “Try and see if you can understand what they’re saying.” John focused, and all the singing of the birds and barking of dogs were as understandable as humans, and he came across and interesting conversation between two dogs.

“He thinks they should meet other people” John translated. “She thinks that for all she cares he can eat—wait, animals eat that in this time?”

A whole day of fun had followed until finally it was nighttime. Everybody regrouped at the fountain after their long day.

“That was surprisingly short…” Steve remarked as he took off his deku mask. John leaned against the stone part of the fountain while James lied completely exhausted on the ground.

“Man, I’ve still got some char marks from that bomb!” James said with a moan. He got up and reached into his sac.

“Man am I starvin’! I wonder what Mammy got me for a snack…?” James asked aloud, and then he took out a rather disappointing morsel with a note attached. Dear Link, hear is your nightly ration; one green rupee. ~mammy~ James nibbled lightly at the rupee.

“I’ll save the rest for later.—Its later. *CRUNCH* *CHEW* *SMACK* *SMACK* *GULP*!” Lass stood back in surprise.

“You actually eat rupees?!” she asked in astonishment.

“Yeah, they’re my favorite snack!” James exclaimed. “Bt they tend to linger…”

“I’ll ask one more time!!” John said, with his patience diminishing every second. “When do we meet Zeruda no Hime?!”

“Do you speak English?” Lass asked.

“Actually it’s ancient hylian, the Zoras use it a lot,” Gaia informed.

"Yeah, I was raised by Zoras," John said, looking professional. "Now, then, I'll use english if you like, when do we meet Princess Zelda?!"

"Very soon," Lass ensured. "After you tell me your names."

"Didn't you hear our names when we were playing in town?" James asked. "Fine. He's Link, I'm Link, and he's Link. But to differentiate each other, we use our secondary names; He's John, I'm James, and he's Steven-- John's the oldest." Lass struggled to digest the information.

"Ooo-Kaaay..." Lass muttered. "I take it you don't have the time to be normal kids more than me..."

"Oh we're perfectly normal," Steve said. "If you call killing a giant bug with one eye normal.

"And if you call using a blue glop as stomach ache remedy normal," James added.

"And if you call getting kicked out of your home normal," John added. Everyone stared at him. "Of Course it's normal!" He insisted. "A guard was banished because he spilled a drink!--- To be more precise, he spilled it on the King..."

"I don't know if I should pity or envy you..." Lass muttered.

"Go with envy!" John suggested.

"I guess I've never gotten the time to be normal kid either... I'd like to thank you for spending the time with me..." Lass said with a sigh.

"Let me guess..." John said. "Since you're family's rich so you're treated with more respect than others... of course not as much as the royal family."

"Y-you... could say... that..." Lass said slowly. "Well, what I'm really trying to say is... I'm -- TERRIFYING THINGS!!"

"Wha...?" James asked puzzled.

"Not me, behind you!!" Lass screamed. Everyone turned around and saw two dark-skinned woman in arabic clothing... if you're familiar with the races of races of Zelda, you've probably figured out that these are Gerudos.

"Okay," John said. "Two women in turbans. Where are the frightening things?"

"Hyah!" one of the Gerudos took out a scimitar and attempted to take a swipe out of James, but he parried it with his sword. After shoving the scimitar back, James began showing off with his sword, doing Karate-esque tricks. This impressed the Gerudo, who did perhaps fancier moves with her own scimitar, but when she was done, James was twirling the tip of his sword on his fingertip, yawning. This got the Gerudo irritated.

"Enough Bark!" she hissed. "Let's bite!"

(author's note: try not to mind the pictures in this video, it was the only way we could get the song, and it's supposed to be a minute long but we couldn't find one)

The Gerudos drew two scimitars began to fight the three boys.

"What a rush!!" James exclaimed.

"Yeah!" John said as he blocked a slash from the Gerudo. "Nothing like a life-threatening Chanbara to make a night more exciting!"

One of the blows from the Gerudos just missed James, and the shock sent him off balance and he toppled over. The Gerudo attempted to bring her scimitar down on James, but he rolled out of the way and kicked the Scimitar out of her hand. James snatched the scimitar out of the air and threw it behind him.

"'Never thought the Ultra vs. Hydra technique would work!" James exclaimed. John stared at James when he said the name of the Technique.

"You're not the only one who learns from TV!" James joked. The other Gerudo had trouble fighting Steve because he was so hard to find. Until she saw a round wooden mask with sad yellow eyes on it pop out of the dark!

"BOO!" said the voice on the other side of the mask.

"EEK!" The Gerudo screamed as she blindly sliced at the one behind the mask, who was apparently Steve, missing every time. Steve removed the mask, and took out a morsel.

"I surrender!" he screamed. "Take this Koki-fruit!" The Gerudo took a nibble at it and walked away.

"Finally, a kid with sense--"
KABOOOM!! Steve went to join the others.

"1 down, 1 to go!" Steve exclaimed. The other two were were holding of the remaining Gerudo in a sword struggle. The Gerudo shoved James away, but then John did a Z-target backflip, a powerful one that sprung him into the air. John came down with his left kick extended upward.

"Zora Axe Kick!!" John's left foot came unto the Gerudo's shoulder, he did a midair twist, and then kicked the Gerudo into a heap with the other. (You can stop the music if you want). Steve looked around the square.

"Say..." he muttered. "Where's Lass?"

"'Ditched us the moment things got dangerous!" Navi spat. "Typical!"

"Hey..." Steve said quietly. "What's that?" Steve knelt down next a strange object on the ground. It was a blue ocarina, with a golden crest on the mouthpiece. "Guys! Come look at this!" Steve said as he picked up the ocarina.

"Keep 'em pinned down, James!" John said as he went over to Steve. James took out a handkerchief, placed it on the stunned Gerudo's back, and sat on them.

"Behold!" James announced. "The Goron's 'prisoner' position!!" The Gerudos underneath him groaned and strained for breath.

"Some prisoner position!" one Gerudo complained. "There won't be any prisoners left!! What were you raised by? Gorons?!"

"...You don't want me to answer that..." James answered. John examined the ocarina.

"Judging by the crest, it must belong to princess Zelda," John observed.

"Why Zelda?" Steve asked. "For all we know, It belongs to the King!"

"'Cause it smells like perfume!" John answered, and then he blew through the mouthpiece.
"Yuckth! Tadeth lige id too! No wait... Yuck, it tastes like SULFUR!:sick:" Once John had control of his mouth, he turned to the Gerudos. "Now then, what did you want?" he demanded.

"We were told by the G-man to secure the ocarina of time!" one Gerudo blurted out.

"Who's this G-man, you speak of?" John asked.

"We'll never tell!:silent:"

"James? would you please teach our captives a lesson?" John asked. James nodded and pushed harder down.

"Daah!!D: Alright! Alright! I Give! It's Ganondorf! He's making a deal with the King!!! Please get off!!!"

"And what's this?!" a guard approached the group. "Did you just apprehend these Gerudos?" The guard asked.

"Yessir!" John said while saluting. "Now, would it be proper procedure to take these thieves to the dungeon?" The guard nodded, bound the wrists of the Gerudos and led them away.

"Now what?" Steve asked.

"Since Lass is gone, we should try to get to the castle and meet Zelda on our own," John answered. "Now then, onto the Castle!"
***

 

[onebizarrekai]

This story is awesome. It really is.

 

[Zelda's_Child]

Great job once again, to ALL the authors of the story this time!

I enjoyed the music for the chapter, partially because I annoyed my sister with it!

 

[Keeseman]

It is about time we got some comments. We didn't want to continue until we knew people knew that Lozoot as back from a pause, because Chiraku had a doctor appointment.
We well be getting chapter 9 soon if Chiraku gets caught up in math (were home school).

 

[Chiraku]

I uploaded some more music!
Chpt 9: A Guard, Milkman, and the Princess

“SORRY! None may pass!” A guard that sounded strangely like Patrick Warburton, who was on morning duty, was keeping them from going through the gate.

“Well, can we at least get into the castle?” John asked.

“Sorry, no activity is allowed due to a visitor having a meeting with the king… also since tourism has been going overboard, as far as examining the knight’s locker room, and I did especially not appreciate the tour when I was in the shower!” the guard said in a very professional tone.

“’Bet it wasn’t their day, either…” John joked.

“EITHER way, you cannot enter…!”

“But it’s an emergency!” James insisted.

“Sorry, no-can-do without any evidence!” the guard bellowed back.

“But look, here. Here’s the Kokiri emerald!” Steve exclaimed as he held up the spiritual stone of forest.

“I know what that thing is! I saw a chef and a boy fighting over it two nights ago!” the guard shot back. “It’s pure Zarconium! The boy said so!” Drat… Steve thought to himself, until he remembered another piece of evidence.

“What about this?!” Steve asked as he took out the Ocarina of Time. The guard flipped up his visor to take a closer look, and then his eyes seemed to grow larger.

“That! The princess has been looking for that… um… hm… Flute!” the guard exclaimed, but then he got a suspicious look in his eye. “How do I know you didn’t steal it?” the guard asked.

“The only ones who did any stealing where those Gerudos!” Steve defended.

“Yes, I’ve heard of those two women, but they were apprehended by a very brave guard last night…” said the guard.

“Why! That dirty, double crosser!!” Steve spat.

“Oh?” John asked, reaching into his pouch. “Did he bring back an earring?!” John exclaimed as he held out a pure Gerudo earring. “Knocked this one off while we were fighting, apparently it was a clip-on!” The guard picked up the earring and examined it closely.

“Pure crystal…” the guard observed. “Alright! You may PASS!” The party gratefully walked through the gate. “Oh! Better tell you now!” the guard spoke up. “Not every guard knows you’re welcome, so you’d better watch it, ‘cause if they find you they bring you to me and then I have to explain the situation over and over and over and—“

“OKAY! We get it!” the boys shouted.

“The main point is I have to work more, so stay out of sight ‘kay?”

“Yessir!” the three boys said while saluting.

“DAAAAAH!!!” The boys were thrown in front of the gate, as they had been a hundred times before.

“Wasn’t kidding when I said the others didn’t know!” The guard from before spat. “But… since I’m such a nice guard,” the guard said. “I’ll let you go in through the gate ONE LAST TIME!!” The three boys hung their heads and marched through the gate.

“You know…” James said. “It could be just my imagination, but I noticed that there are more guards every time we get the boot.”

“A boot of silver to be exact!” John corrected.

“Unfiltered silver!!” Steve added. James kicked a pebble.

“I guess I’m just a little down because my luck has decreased ever since I left Death Mountain,” James said with a sigh. “First the gate at the town, then the doctor’s office, and now this!”—James prepared to kick another pebble—“It’s like sooner or later I’m gonna hit the ground,” James kicked the pebble, but it was surprisingly stable and he fell right over. “OOF!!”

“A little too soon, huh?” John asked mockingly. James pulled himself up and looked right at the pebble, but it wasn’t a pebble—it was a shoe!! James looked down and saw the there was a small bush where the shoe was coming out of, and there was somebody in it.

“… What are you doing…?” James asked. The person got out of the bush, but it was a girl… with bright red hair. James froze in surprise.

“Well thanks for blowin’ my cover!” the girl whispered. James tried to speak, but they only came out as high pitched wheezing.

“*H-Hee Ho fa tooin?*” The girl stared confused at James.

“Oh, he’s just nervous!” John said as he got in front of James. “He’s James, I’m John, and the one behind us is Steve.”

“My names Malon…” The girl, said. “What are you people doing?”

“We’ve got an appointment with the princess,” John said confidently.

“Oh is that so?” Malon asked as she crossed her arms. “Nobody ever gets past the guards!”

“HEY YOU!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???!!!!” a voice called out.

“Ditto to you, too!” John spat.

“See-ya!!” Malon blurted out as she ran for the gate. James attempted to run after her, but gave up and raised his hands as the guards pointed spears at him. The guards grabbed the other two and threw them out into the gate.

“AND STAY OUT!!” A guard boomed. James got up. He was ready to turn to Malon and blame her for getting them caught, but he turned to yell, he was utterly frozen just by the sight of her, but she could tell he wanted to yell.

“You’re just as much to blame as me,” Malon said. “If you didn’t find me, the guards wouldn’t have become attracted.”

“What are you you doing here, anyway?” John asked.

“Oh, Pa went in to deliver some milk and he didn’t come back for a little while,” Malon answered.

“Well that’s not too bad!” Steve said. “It’s only been a little while!”

“24 hours,” Malon corrected. “And that’s the shortest amount of time!” The boys that were still mobile exchanged long glances. “Say, what’s up with your bro?” Malon asked.

“Oh, he’s just not used to being around girls,” John answered. Steve nervously began to knock on James’ frozen body. *CLANG!* *CLANG!* Steve jabbed James’ neck, and he immediately reanimated.

“What happened…?” James asked. “I blacked out there for a se-seco-second…” James noticed Malon again. John quickly covered James’ eyes.

“Don’t do it, AGAIN!” John ordered. James shook away from John and turned around, as to not look at Malon again.

“If you’re the daughter of a milk salesman,” Steve said. “The guards should let you in.”

“Say that to Kronk!” Malon retorted as she pointed at the guard in front of the gate. “Say, if you’re the only ones that got farther than me, can you do me a favor?” Malon asked. James turned around, but instead of freezing at the sight of Malon, he began to twitch.

“L-like w-what?” James stuttered. Malon took out an egg covered in leather out of her pocket.

“Even if you did find pa, you couldn’t wake him up, unless you have a cucco at hand!” Malon said.

“Whay Cucco?” John asked.

“The Cucco you’ll get when this egg hatches,” Malon answered.

“Okay, but if we can wake him up without the cucco, can we keep the egg?” John asked. Malon shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess,” she answered.

“Okay,” John said. “We go, you stay, Bye-bye! (see you later!)” The party turned around to go towards the gate, until James U-turned, took the egg from Malon, and joined the others.

“Wow!” Steve exclaimed. “You walked up to Malon and didn’t over react!” Before he could finish, James fainted. “-or not.” The party was about to walk through the gate, when the guard got in the way.
“Sorry!” The guard exclaimed. “The last time was the LAST time, you can’t use the gate anymore, IT’S TOO PUBLIC!”

“Then how can we get into the palace?!” Steve asked.

John looked at the arch way at the top of the gate. “Hmm…” He said to himself. The guard followed John’s gaze and nearly gasped.

“OH-NO!” he exclaimed. “That’s the arch-way! You’d be crazy to go up there!!”


“Don’t move a muscle.” John whispered. He and the others were on an archway, right above a guard’s head, and were losing their balance. A bit of dust landed on Steve’s nose.

“Higgidy-iggidy” Steve stuttered, “ACHOoooo!” The guard looked up upon hearing the noise, and he saw the boys. After a moment he grinned, and he moved his foot to a hal-covered switch. *Click*

“AAAAAAHHHH!The Brothers yelled as they were flung away… via a cleverly hidden spring on the arch. “WHAT KINDA ARCH-WAY HAS A HIDDEN SPRING-TRAP IN IT??!!” The boys were shot into the air. Then they crashed unto something.

“Oh…” James moaned. John sat up
“Ya’ know this, ground is quite soft, and you’d think we landed on somebody…” Every body heard a loud snore. “We are on somebody.” John and James looked over and saw a man’s face, with Steve on his nose.

“Steve get off, his face is turning blue!” James exclaimed.

“Aw, but I want to see what color comes next!” Steve complained. James gave Steve a look, and then he clumsily slid off of the man’s face. James began to shake the man’s head.

“Hey! Come on, man! Wake up!” James urged. "WAKE UP!" The man suddenly awoke and sat right up.

“Er… *Yaaaawnnnn….* Where am I…?” the man asked through half-shut eyes. He looked at the three boys.

“You are at the moat of Hyrule Palace!” James said in a touring-like voice. “Touring time is over, so unless you want a free visit into the dungeon… kindly walk out of the palace and let the guards escort you out!” The man stared at James.

“Tour? Oh! Wait!” he exclaimed. “I was here delivering milk, when I fell asleep and…” the man froze. “OH-NO! MALON!!” The man quickly got up and ran ridiculously fast out of the palace. “She’s gonna let me have it!! Hold on honey! Daddy’s coming home!!!” he screamed as he darted through the field.

“Oh!” James exclaimed. “He’s Talon! Remember!? We had to wake him up with a cucco…” James looked at the egg Malon had given them. “What do we do with this?” He asked uncertainly.

“Well,” John began. “We could return it, or keep an egg for free!” James put the egg back into his pocket.

“Now then… how do we get inside…?” James began, only to snap his fingers at an idea. “Oh-yeah! When we were flung from the archway, I saw a way in!”

“Well, where?” Steve asked. James pointed to a nearby water-flow.

“That’s our way in?!” John cried. “That’s the GUTTER!!”

“Yeah, but every water-flow comes from the garden,” James explained.

“Yeah,” John spat. “It’s also where all the dustpans and chamber pots are dumped!”

“Would you prefer speaking with the guards and getting a free, brisk, escort back outside?” James asked. “Or will you try my idea, or dig your way in?”

“…That was my second suggestion…” John admitted.

“ Whatever you do, wait for us!!” a voice called out. The party turned around and saw the three fairies approach.

“Hmmm…” James pondered. “In all of our mistakes, we didn’t notice that the fairies snuck off--”

“Where have you been?!” John exclaimed. “And why are your quotes colored in?!”

“Well,” Navi began. “We found a boulder and… Terry… kinda stole a bomb… and we found a great fairy on the inside!!”

“Go on…” John urged.

“That fairy gave us the power to give you info when you Z-Target something!!” Terry explained.

“’Was wondering why you didn’t do that yet…” James muttered.

“You knew?!” Terry exclaimed.

“No…”

“Hey! Guys!” Steve piped up. “Less lingering and more walking!!”
***
The boys were walking through the garden, when they bumped into a guard.

“Alright…” Steve said with a sigh. “I know what you’re going to say, ‘What are you doing here?’ ‘You have to go out!’ and other such stuff, so go ahead, say it!”

“Me-me me-muh-mememe!” the guard murmered.

“… Excuse me…?!!”

“Me-Me-Muh-ME-Me!!” the guard shouted.

“He sounds like Beaker from the Muppets…” James muttered over to Steve.

“What’s going on over there?!” Everyone stood still s a guard approached them. “Squeaker, what’s going on here?” a guard asked. Well it’s better than Beaker… James thought to himself.

“Me-muh-me-me-me!!” Squeaker chirped.

“Who is this guy?!” Steve asked.

“This here’s Squeaker,” the guard answered. “This guy got his vocal cords messed up by a cat-”

“—A cat?!” John asked.

“A riled up-half starved-mangy-one that the princess just had to keep!’” The guard exclaimed. “Now then… who are you…?” he asked.

“We are here to see princess Zelda” John explained.
“Well, you have defied rule number 989, section 54, paragraph, uh-“

“Me-me-me-ma-mi” said Squeaker.

“-Thank you Squeaker- paragraph .1” The guard finished.

“That must be a big book!” James remarked.

“I’ll say!” the guard exclaimed. “It’s almost as big as that big book in the sanctuary!”

“Y-you mean the holy b-book?” James asked quietly.

“No!” the guard shot back. “The book of Mudoria!”

“Oh! That one,” James said as he rolled his eyes.

“I don’t even see why we have to read that book!” the guard said annoyed. “All it has is a bunch of gibberish! Like… Kasu-wa-satsu-desu---!” *CRRAACK!!* A nearby branch broke to the ground. “I’m pretty sure that was an accident…” The guard murmured. “ Kasu-wa-satsu-desu---” *CRRAACK!!* *CLANK!!* Another branch broke and landed on the guard’s head. “[Size=”1”]That one wasn’t…[/Size]” the guard fell to the ground. Squeaker stared at his fallen comrade.

“Me-Mu-Ma-Mamu-memu!” he chirped. *CRAACK!!* *CLANK!!* And then Squeaker fell.

“Here’s our chance!!” Steve exclaimed. “Let’s go and find the princess, now then… which way to go…” Steve muttered, only until James pointed to a nearby sign.
____________________
|Princess’ garden |
| Thieves and |
| peasants keep out! |
|__________________ |
| |
| |
|_|
“VERY protective…!” John spat as they walked past the sign.
**
The group entered the garden, but as they entered, they heard guards approaching.

“Oh-No, the fudds!” James exclaimed. “Where do we hide?! This garden’s got no nook or bush to hide in!!”

“I know!!” John exclaimed. “We go into that pond!!” he said as he pointed to a small body of water.

“And you expect us to hold our breath?!” Steve whimpered. The sound of the guards got louder.

“Better here than nothing!!” James exclaimed as he jumped grabbed the two and jumped into the pond.

“*GUURRGLE!!*” The two slowly peaked their heads out of the water. The coast was clear, but somebody was in the garden; a young girl.

“Eh… who’s she?” John asked in a quiet voice.

“—That’s Lass!” John exclaimed.

“How can you be sure…?” Steve asked.

“Take a good look!” John said. “Give her a peasant’s garb and that’s Lass!” Steve slowly digested the information.

“Why, that dirty double-crosser--” John slapped Steve before he could finish.

“Steve!” John began. “You do NOT call a princess a double-crosser!!” John snapped.

“This feels so weird…” James said quietly.

“Why?” Steve asked. “Because Lass was Zelda all along?”

“That, and I have frogs in my pants…” James whimpered.

“Whatever happened to the pebbles?” John asked.

“They fell out when we were catapulted away…” James answered. Everyone slowly crept out of the water and approached the girl.

“Olah!” John said. The girl immediately turned around.

“Eeek!” she screamed. “H-how did you get past the guards--?!” she asked.

“You can drop the innocent act,” James said as he kicked a frog out of his tunic. “Wel, I hope you found what you’re looking for!” He cursed. “Mind telling us why you pretended to be a peasant girl?” Zelda sighed and lowered her eyes.

“I-I, wanted to be a normal girl for once…” she answered.

“Nani?” John asked in confusion.

“W-what?” Zelda asked.

“ Exactly! It’s ancient Hylian for ‘What’ ” John answered.

“I always had to stay inside the palace!” Zelda began. “All of the peasant kids could do anything they wanted to! Go out and play, buy things on their own… I wanted to live one day as a normal girl, so I snuck out of the palace and went out as a peasant girl, and then you came along!”

“You’re blaming Us?” James asked.

“No! No!” Zelda replied. “I didn’t have any play-mates! And you guys were the opportunity I was waiting for!”

“And then you ditched us when the Gerudo showed up!” Steve shot back.

“Things were too dangerous!” Zelda defended. “And I couldn’t let the ocarina fall into the wrong hands!”

“You mean this?” Steve asked as he took the Ocarina out.

“Oh! Thank goodness!” Zelda said with a sigh of relief. “I was afraid the Gerudo might’ve taken it!”

“The Gerudo said that they were grabbing the Ocarina for Ganondorf,” John remarked. “’know anything about that?” He asked.

“Know about what?!” a voice called.

“EEEK!!” James screamed and jumped into John’s arms.

“Oh-yeah! Very honcho! Very manly!” Steve groaned.

“Zelda?!” the voice called again.

“EEEEEEK!!!” Steve let out another girly scream and jumped into Zelda’s arms. “He-he…” Steve nervously laughed, and then Zelda immediately dropped him.

“I know that voice!” John exclaimed as he dropped James (“Oof!”). “It’s Ganondorf! This is bad! He’ll have me beheaded for the insult at the Zora domain!! What should I do?! I know! I’ll strike with my sword first--!” The sun reflecting off of John’s sword gave him another idea. “Wait! I’ll slide it through the grass, he won’t notice it and…”
**
“Zelda! Where are you?!” Ganondorf called. “Zelda---(*smack!*) dah!! Oooh!! Ah!!” Ganodorf wildly kicked his foot, which threw John’s sword away, which he didn’t notice. High above him, on a wall, stood James, holding a large rock.

“ ‘Oops’ ” James joked as he dropped the rock, which landed straight on the foot that wasn’t stabbed.

“Dah-ooooh!!!!!” Ganondorf squealed as he held his foot. Steve rolled under Ganondorf and pointed a small deku stick upwards.

“Bull’s-eye!” Steve muttered as he stabbed the stick.

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEE!” Ganondorf wailed as Steve rolled away. “Ge-gah! My tenders!!” Two guards approached Ganondorf.

“Are you okay, sir?” One asked.

“Me-mu-mememe?” the other one asked. Ganondorf began to curse and babble in pain. “Memumeme?” Squeaker asked.

“No, Squeaker, he’s not doing the ‘Hokey-pokey’.”

“De, where’s… Z-Zelda?” Ganondorf squealed.

“Hmmm… I think he’d better see the nurse…” the guard muttered to himself. “Now then, who’s the nurse? Who’s the nurse…?”

“Meme-mu-ME!”

“Ah, Yes, Squeaker! The Nurse-Maid!! Oh, IMPA!!” The other guard called. A middle-aged woman with red eyes and purple clothing entered the garden.

“YIPES!!” Ganondorf screamed.

“We’ve got an injured man over here!” the guard called. Impa approached the three.

“Oh, I’ll take care of him, I’m ready to play!!” Impa said as she took a pair of pliers out of mid-air.

“DAH! Whaddya gonna do with that?!” Ganondorf cried.

“I have to pluck out my eyebrows!” Impa said as she plucked an eyebrow right off of her head with the pliers. Impa took Ganondorf by the collar and dragged him away.

“Wait! No! Nooooooo!!!” Ganondorf cried as he was dragged through the door which closed behind him. The guards turned around and left the garden. The boys and the princess were watching from nearby.

“I’ve seen this movie before…” John whispered. “They never found the body…”

“Good riddance!!” Zelda spat.

“Oh sure,” John said quietly. “What a decent princess you are! Now then! On to buissness!” John turned to Zelda. “You! Said we could see… You! And then You! dumped us!”

“I already told you why!!” Zelda shot back.

“Now then! Steven!” John said in a professional tone. “The jewel!”

“Right!” Steve began digging into his pocket, and began throwing out deku scrubs, rocks, stal bones, gameboy advance©, game packs, DS cards, a Goron…?! “What are YOU doing in there?!” Steve demanded before he threw the goron away. Steve took out a large blotch of dust and handed it to Zelda. Zelda stared uncertainly at the blotch, until Steve blew at it, revealing it to be the Kokiri emerald, and blowing the dust into her face.

“*COUGH!!* *Cough!*” Zelda gagged. She looked at the Emerald, and her eyes widened. “OHMYGOSH!” She gasped. “This is what Ganondorf was also looking for!!”

“Why?” Steve asked. Zelda sat down as she examined the gem.

“I’ve been having, this dream…” she began.

“Here we go…” John groaned.
“--That the land of Hyrule would be covered by a dark storm, but then three boys appeared, with three fairies, and one of them held the Kokiri emerald.” The boys stared at Zelda.

“What fairies?” John asked obliviously. The three fairies caught up with the others.

"Wait up!" Navi called.

“Well, that fixes it,” James said.

“What does it all… mean?” John asked.

“There are three spiritual stones,” Zelda went on. “The Kokiri emerald, the Goron ruby, and the Zora sapphire, these all are needed to open the door of time.”

“Did Pokémon 2003 come out before this?” Steve asked.

“So what you’re saying is,” John said. “We walked out behinds off, wore our soles off, got through the palace guards, and now you want us to go and get the other two gems?” John asked.

“Heck! No!” Zelda replied. “I’m coming with you!!” She exclaimed as she pulled a suitcase out of nowhere.

“Woah! Woah! Wait! Waiiit!!” John said. “Swing that by me again?”

“I’m coming with you!” Zelda repeated. “I’m tired of that Lullaby!”

“No you’re not!!” John replied.

“Why not?!” Zelda asked.

“Have you looked in a mirror, princes? Oh wait! I just answered the question! You’re the princess of Hyrule! You’re next in line! You can’t come!”
“Didn’t you say I was the princess?” Zelda asked.

“Yes,” John answered.

“Since I am a princess, I can stop the journey all together, and order an execution! How does that sound to you?” She asked menacingly.

“Not very good…” John said slowly.

“Besides, is Lass, Zelda?” she asked as she took of her headdress.

“…Yes!” John answered.

“Whatever, we have to find my nanny, Impa,” Zelda said as she looked around. “Has anyone seen her?”
**
The group was inside the palace opening and closing doors, looking for Impa.

“Oh Impa…!” John called as he opened up a door. On the inside was an operating room with Ganondorf strapped to a table. “… Nope! Just the torture chamber!” John shouted as he closed the door.

“No! No!” Ganondorf called. “Wait! Help! Helllp!!”

“Of course! I’ll ‘help’!” Impa said as she approached Ganondorf wearing a nurse’s outfit. “Now hold still…” Impa said slowly. “Look at the size of those eyebrows! They’re huge! They have to be plucked!” she said as she readied some pliers.

“NO-NO! Wait!” Ganondorf screamed. “Stand back, You HORRIBLE WOMAN!!” *CREEEK!* The boys opened the door again.

“There you are!!” John exclaimed. Impa stopped from her actions.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“The princess wants to see you!” James answered.

“Oh, alright!” Impa said as she removed her nurse cloak, revealing her normal purple attire.

“Do you always wear stuff over your normal getup?” James asked.

“It’s not a getup!” Impa said. “It’s traditional Sheikah getup—Attire!” Impah replied.

“Well, leave the pig in there and get out here!” John coaxed.
**
“So let me get this straight!” Impa began. “The princess sent you three out to get the spiritual stones, and she wants to join you?!”

“Yeah…” John answered nervously.

“Let’s roll! I’m tired of singing that lullaby!” Impa said excitedly.

“You’re still going to sing it because Zelda’s with us!” Steve remarked.

“Oh-no-no! Silly boy, I sing it to the guards!” Impa answered. “But it’s no ordinary lullaby, it’s a sacred melody. Nobody will know you work for the royal family if you don’t play it!” Impa explained. “Do any of you have an instrument I can teach it to you on?” she asked.

“I’ve got this fairy ocarina,” Steve answered. James looked through his bag.

“Oh! Mammy snuck a mountain flute in here!” James said. “Wait, there’s a note; ‘Here’s your daily chewing sweet; one mountain flute… ~Mammy~’… Hmm… and something alse about getting a new oven… Mammy sent this to me for gum or something, I guess I can use it for an instrument!”

“Here, an ocean panpipe!” John said as he held out a blue pan pipe.

“You have a panpipe?” James asked.

“No! It belongs (Belonged) to Ruto!” John replied. Impa was quiet for a moment until she whistled this tune

“If you don’t play this song, some royal affiliates won’t admit you,” Impa explained. “Now then, how do we get out of the Castle?”

 

[Zelda's_Child]

lawl. Go the eyebrow plucker!! ^^

Great job, guys!! All of you together make an amazing and hilarious story!!

 

[GorKu]

xD xD...zora will be next!..did written it by yourself?

 

[Chiraku]

CHPT 10: The escape, leaving town, and a hurt horse

“Well…” John began. “First we have to find a gap in the guard’s patrol that we can all slip through.” John stated.

“All of us?!” Impa cried.

“There a problem?” James asked.

“The guards can’t see me with Zelda-erh, uh… Lass.” Impa explained. “We’ll have to take a different path, or get caught and explain the whole thing to the king!” John stood upright.

“The king!” he cried. “We should warn him about Ganondorf!”

“He’ll never listen!” Zelda spat. “He wouldn’t heed my dream, he won’t heed Ganondorf.”

“We should at least try and keep him away from him!” James suggested. Zelda walked over to a window in a wall.

“Take a look,” she beckoned. All three boys crowded around the window.

“Shoot!!” Steve groaned. “Ganondorf’s already talking to the king!” Zelda looked through the window.

“Oh! This is horrible!” she cried.

“Yeah!” John moaned. “How are we gonna separate them now?!”

“That’s not what I meant...” Zelda said. “Nobody should ever come before the king in crutches!!” The boys looked and saw that Ganondorf was indeed in Crutches. Ganondorf limped over to the king in between two guards.

“Your majesty!” Ganondorf said as he thrust his right hand (which was carrying a crutch) to his side, which whacked the guard next to him (“OOF!”. “Greetings” Ganondorf knelt down and put his right arm against his chest, which whacked the other guard in the leg (“MUH!”). “It is an honor to meet such a man of such high stature!” he complemented. “I have arrived here with a treaty,” he began. “We all are aware that many a caravan have been raided by Gerudo, right? Well, I’ve thought of an idea, which brings us to the treaty, my people will and shall refrain from any violent attacks of your trade, 24/7, if you give us just one small thing in return!”

“…Which is…?” the king asked.

“You let me, have the… erh… Okarina no Toki?” This is perfect! John thought. Nobody these days understands ancient Hylian like we do!

“Why do you want the ocarina of time?” The king asked in astonishment. Drat!

“Think about it!” Ganondorf said. “The only way to symbolize such a treaty requires something valuable! The only other thing is your daughter’s hand in marriage, But I’m WAY too old for her!”

“Hmm…” The king murmured. “Oh! That’s a great idea!”

“But I said I’m too old!” Ganondorf repeated.

“No, the Ocarina,” The King corrected.” “ But Zelda, my daughter, has it… and she’s not very fond of you… She put sulfur on the Ocarina’s mouthpiece so you couldn’t play it.” So that’s what I tasted!. John got away from the window.

“If this goes any farther,” he said. “The king’s going to send for Zelda, and he’ll see her with us, and the whole thing will be ruined! We have to get The King away from Ganondorf, but how?” Then John noticed something on the wall. As he got closer, it looked like a control panel. “A control panel?” He asked. “Oh, well, Now let’s see what it has.
*Button 1* Press here to give the King protection
*Button 2* Press here to give the King food
*Lever 1* Pull to give the King Everything—With a five rupees tax

“I’ll do the lever,” John said. “Zelda will do the tax anyway.” *CRAANK*
**
“Okay, I guess I can ask my daughter to give it to you---” *CRAANK*
“---Daaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!” A trap-door opened right where the King was standing. The guards gasped.

“Woah!! At least it worked…” John exclaimed. But the guards looked through the window and saw the boys.

“It’s those kids!!” one called.

“ME-MEME!” Squeaker cried. Some of the guards grabbed Ganondorf and led him away.

“No…” He moaned. “…So close…”
**

“Daaaaah!” The king landed unto an old couch in what appeared the cellar. The king looked both ways nervously. “Oh… This is that Cellar that grandpa had his pa build…” The king said with a sigh. He turned around to see a skeleton was right next to him with its arm on his shoulder. “Ah!!” He cried. “Oh, H-hello…”

“Hello…”

“GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
**
“STOP WHERE YOU ARE OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!!”

“STOP! OR WE’LL SHOOT!!”

“ME-MUH-ME-ME-MU-ME-ME!!”

The boys had agreed to rendezvous with Zelda and Impa at the town gate, while they escaped through the courtyard. However it isn’t working out very well for the boys. John looked behind him; the guards were closing in relatively fast, and the gate was too far away to make it without being caught.

“H-Help!!” Steve cried.

“Hey! Steve!” James called. “Gimme your slingshot!”

“But it’s mine!” Steve protested.

“Just give it!” Steve threw the slingshot over to James. He caught it, grabbed a pebble, and stopped. He shot at one of the guards and quickly reloaded and shot the other. But the other one was too close too shoot. James had too turn and run or risk being caught. James ran to catch up with the others. The gate appeared in the horizon, and that meant they had some hope.

“I think we’ll make it!” John called. The arch-way gate began to close. “We’re not gonna make it!!” The three were able to get under and through the gate, but the guard followed them. Steve tripped over a rock and was being closed in by the guard.

“I’ve got you now!” The guard chuckled as he was about to grab Steve. *Whinny!* A horse walked over to the guard and turned around “Huh?” *CLAAANG!!* The horse did a back Kick right in the guard’s face. Steve slowly got up and stared at the fallen guard.

“What the hey…?” he said to himself.

“Yeah! Go Percy!” The boys saw Malon run over to the scene. “Great Job! Give me a ‘P’”-- *Dribble* --“N-no! Not on the gate… *Ugh*!”

“What are you doing here…?” James asked.

“Oh, I came over here to deliver some milk, and then I heard you boys were being chased out of the castle, so I came over to see if I could help,” She explained.

“With that old horse?” James asked.

“His name is Percy!” Malon corrected.

“And I guess the ‘P’ represents his liquid discharge habits,” John added with a snicker. Malon gave John a very offended look.

“Pa’ gave him that name after our old horse caretaker,” Malon defended.

“Why’d he leave?” James asked.

“Percy’s habit says it all,” Malon answered with a shudder.

“—I don’t wanna know!” John quickly cut in.

“Say,” James said aloud. “Did Talon come home?”

“Oh, yeah, he came back,” Malon answered. “And boy was he frantic, He was actually a little hurt, it was like somebody landed on him…” The three boys decided to keep quiet.

“… Wanna come to the ranch?” Malon piped up.

“Wha…?” James asked.

“It looks like you could use a place to stay after your little skirmish inside the Palace; I thought it would be only nice to let you stay at the ranch for a bit.”

“Okay, sure!” John said. “But first we have to go find Impa and the Princess.”

“Who?” Malon asked.

“*ER-HEM!*” James cleared his throat. “(You just said the ‘P’ word…!)” James whispered into John’s ear.

“What’s wrong with saying the ‘P’ word?!” John exclaimed. *Dribble*

“Oh! Percy!” Malon cried as she ran over to Percy. “Not again!!”

“What’s wrong with saying the ‘p--” John stopped. “Ooh, ah, Guys? I’m in trouble…”

“Is the Princess Zelda?” Malon asked.

“WE’VE BEEN COMPROMISED!!” Steve cried.

“We won’t lie to you,” James said to Malon. “But we won’t tell you either.”

“Why not?” Malon asked. “Why are you keeping secrets from me…?” she asked as she inched closer to James. James began to twitch again, but he was able to regain his composure and answered.

“I- It’s compromised information,” James explained. “Only until you have brought us safely out of the city will we tell you.”

“Well… why?” Malon asked. John turned slowly to James.

“Yes?... Why?!” John asked.

“’Cause there are cut-throats in the city…” James answered.

“Now THAT makes sense!” Malon said as she got Percy ready to ride.

“It does?” John asked. But he just shrugged. “Anyway, we still have to find Impa and Z…Hilda!!”
**
The four kids and the fairies waited at the gate of the city.

“How long does it take for a spinster and a royal girl to get through town?!” Terry asked impatiently.

Well, when it’s an intimidating half-extinct Sheikah and a royal girl who never spent enough time out of the castle… Hard...!” Gaia replied.

“Oh! Look!” Navi called. “There they are!!” Zelda walked towards the gate with a large bag of clothes.

“Sorry,” she said. “I couldn’t chose between the ‘red jewel’ or the ‘blue crystal’ special…”

“Z—Lass!” John exclaimed. “Poor girls don’t care about clothes like that!!”

“Then how do they survive…?” Zelda asked.

“Never mind…!” John looked around the area.

“…Where’s the spinster—I mean where’s Impa?” John asked.

“Hello…” Said a voice from behind John.

“DAH!” John turned around to see Impa right infront of him. “I-I suppose they didn’t give the Sheikah the name ‘Shadow-folk’ for nothing… he, heh…” Impa stared down at John.

“That’s not funny…!” she hissed.

“Are we gonna go or not!?” Malon snapped. “We don’t wanna hit traffic!!”

“Alright, let’s go.” Steve said as he got on Percy’s back. Malon immediately shoved him off.

“Sorry, no shotgun,” she said mockingly. “However… I can make an exception for the red guy…”

“Ooh…!” John said. “Lucky guy…!” *Thwump!!* James fainted. “Take him in tow, it’s easier!” John suggested.
**
The group was riding into Lon-Lon ranch, Just as James began to come to.

“Yaawn… Where are we…?” James asked. Then he noticed that he was on horseback with Malon. “ACK!! How did this happen…?!” he cried.

“Who goes there?!” Malon pulled Percy to a stop, and every one trailing behind stopped. Talon and what appeared to be a stable-man approached the horse.

“Watch it! We were invited!! Terry snapped.

“Who is that fairy?!” Talon asked.

“Terry the fairy!!” the stable-man growled. “He’s been robbing our milk every night!!”

“Hey, Ingo!” Terry exclaimed.

“How’s it goin’?!” Ingo said back. *Whinny…WHIIINY!!* Percy began to sputter and wheeze. Malon quickly got off, with James following, and watched Percy collapse. “What did you do to that horse?!!” Ingo cried.

“He was fine just a moment ago…!” Malon said a she began to stroke Percy. “We need an expert to check his condition…” Malon turned to Terry.

WHAT?!” Terry cried. ”You think I can do something?!”

“You have been around the ranch allot, so you should know something about horses…” Malon explained.

“…Okay!! But I Want a reward when this is over with!”

 

[Swordbomb]

brilliant story i cant wait for the next chapters

 

[Chiraku]

CHPT 10: A young colt, a new song, and a new companion

John rested quietly on a large pile of hay.

“Hey!!” Ingo called from below. “Whaddya doin’ up there?! You’re in the middle of the hay site!!”

“Okay,” John said coolly. “You just pick out the hay from the bottom, and I’ll get off when there’s no more hay.” Ingo began to grumble and whimper.

“You’ll just stay up there while we work our backs off?!” Ingo called.

“Yeah, pretty much,” John answered. Ingo sighed and began to claw hay out from the bottom of the pile with a pitchfork. James approached the area.

“Sheesh,” he groaned. “You’re lazy as always, John!”

“Hurtful…” John said offended.

“Why don’t you come down and help us work?!”

“But those who are working all the time never get to smell the roses, or watch the clouds,” John said. “Look at that one,” he said as he pointed to a cloud. “That looks like Ganon’s head on a spike, *snicker!*”

“OH! Come on!” James spat. “It can’t possibly—OH!” Strangely, it looked just as John described it. “Ugh, Well, while Steve’s pullin’ corn, I’m herding those stubborn stallions, and Malon’s churning butter, you’re acting as if there’s nothing to do!!”

“Correct,” John replied. “All the other jobs are taken!”

“No wonder the Zoras don’t like you,” James said angrily. “You’re as lazy and selfish as a… shellfish!”

“Actually,” John said. “There was a long line of Zoras before me, and they were just as bad as me. But the next generation didn’t make it, so when I came along, they named me ‘Link The Pain IV” John explained.

“Mr. Pain…” Ingo said aloud rather nervously.

“Hurtful…” John said offended. James was about to argue some more about work, but it was true, all the other Jobs were being done by everyone else. John quietly rested some more, but then heard some shouting. He turned his head and saw Malon and Zelda arguing.

"Oh, great!" he groaned. "They're fighting again!" Ingo let out a disgusted sigh.

"Why are they always fighting?" he asked. "Can't they get along like good girls?!"

"Nope," John answered. "They're always fighting over who's prettier."

"Well, then can't somebody tell them which one's prettier so we can get it over with?!" Ingo grumbled. "Which one do you think is prettier?" He asked. It didn't take John a moment to figure out what his answer was.

"I'd say Lass..." he answered. "What about you, Ingo?" Ingo thought a moment, and then answered.

"Well, I like Malon, 'cause she's like my niece, with her being the daughter of Talon and all, but it's nice to see another girl around here, and Lass fits the bill, but boy is she snooty, It's like she's royalty." Ingo answered. The two boys looked at each other and shrugged.

"Well, we'll soon find out," James said. "Cause here they come!!" The two arguing girls soon came near the three in their little argument.

"I'm tellin' ya, girl!" Malon said. "Nothing makes a girl prettier than whole milk, makes her hair as pretty as a kitten, nothing like that fake food that them castle-folk feed ya!" Malon boasted.

"The 'castle-folk' are given biggest roast boar, freshest vegetables, and furthermore, caviar!" Lass/Zelda replied. Malon hesitated, but then added another comment.

"Well, food doesn't exactly matter! It's the exercise, and fittness!" Malon added. "How much work did you do in your ENTIRE life?" she demanded.

"It's impossible to keep track, unless you're some kind of record-keeper freak!" Lass replied.

"Eh-he-he... Yeah, what kinda freak does that...?" Malon said with a nervous chuckle. Lass gave Malon a suspicious look, and then came up with a suggestion.

"Alright, then," she said. "Let's ask the boys who's prettiest!" John stood up in the hay stunned, and James froze stiff.

"Oh, boy," Ingo muttered. "Thing's are goin' to get ugly, I'm leaving this too you boys..." Ingo said as he wandered off.

"Oh yeah," John said as he rubbed his palms together. "I'm going to enjoy this!"

"Oh dear..." James whimpered. "If I chose which girl is cuter, the other one's going to hate me..."

"HEY! REDDIE!" James froze again. The girls had called him. Lass and Malon approached him. "Which one do you think is more pretty?" Lass asked. "Me, or the farmgirl?" James stood frozen.

"He's obviously going to pick me!" Malon boasted.

"Hah! He's going to pick me, instead!" Lass shot back.

"--NO ME!"

"—NO ME!”

“—NO ME!!” This went back and forth for a while until they both got into a slap fight. John sighed and jumped down from the hay pile and approached James.

“One of them’s goin’ to cry,” John said. “Why do judges have to make people cry James?” John asked. “Why? Why?” John said in a rather mocking tone. James finally came in-between them and gave them his answer.

“W-Wait!” He said as he cut in. “I think you are both very sweet and pretty girls…!” James said. The girls stood stunned for a moment.

“—Oh…--’’ They both said after a moment. --“HOW MEAN!! HOW MEAN!!—‘’ The suddenly started to slap at James. James meekly dodged and reflected the slapping, but he couldn’t keep it up. John walked over to James again.

“Make one of them cry James,” John said. “Make one of them cry and get this over with… do it… DO IT…!” John said in a malevolent tone. James struggled a little longer, and then gave his second answer.

“I THINK MALON’S PRETTIER!” He screamed. “…Did I say that out-loud…?” He asked nervously. The slapping stopped. Malon drew back a little and beamed at Lass, but Lass had burst into tears and put her face in her hands. John drew a little nearer and began to pat her on the back.

“It’s okay, Lass,” John said. “It doesn’t matter what some rock-eyed nerd says,”

“Hurtful…” James said offended.

“You’re the prettiest girl in my eyes.” Lass turned around and buried her face In John’s shoulder. John gave James an accomplished grin. James stood shocked a moment, then saw what had happened.

“YOU!!” he said pointing at John. “YOU knew I liked Malon and was going to pick her, so that Lass would cry and you could comfort her like that!! I feel USED”! James groaned.

“Oh, the irony,” John said mockingly. “But this is no more ironic than what you just said.”

“What the heck did I say--‘’ James began, but then smacked himself on the face. “Talked out-loud about Malon again…!” He groaned. But luckily Malon didn’t hear him. After hearing the answer, she had left to check on Terry.


“Yeah,” John said. “But I didn’t do it to get a girl all over me, I just find Lass nice, and very, very, sweet.”

“BLEEUUCH!” Steve spat as he pasted by hauling a bunch of corn.

“And this was the only way to do it, since I have a problem with getting near girls. The only girls I was able to get near were fish!”

“Yeah, those Zoras barely look like girls,” James said.

“No, no, fish” John corrected.

“… I don’t wanna know…!” James said quietly. Lass leaned off of John’s shoulder and took out a hankie and began wiper her tears.

“Nobody ever said anything that nice to me…” Lass said in between sniffles. “Except for those darn suitors, who only say that stuff so they can become King… especially that… Frank…” Lass said in an angry tone. “I don’t even want to hear his name anymore…!”

“Why don’t you wanna hear ‘Frank?” James asked.

“I HAAATE FRANK!!” Lass roared as she ripped her Hankie clear in half. James stared at the site with his eyes wide open.

“…Well, let’s go to Impa and see if she can sew this back together,” John said as he took Lass by the shoulder and lead her away. James stood for a moment before he realized something.

“YEAH!” he called after them. “You go and hit on her girl infront of Impa and there ain’t goin’ to be no ‘Link Pain V!!!” Steve passed by again and saw the whole thing.

“You said that ‘cause you’re jealous, didn’t you?” Steve asked.

“No! I am NOT!” James snapped. “I AM not Jealous that John was able to hit Lass sooner than me and Malon! In fact, I’m going to Malon to see how she’s doing right now!!” James said as he started for the Barn.

“…I’d better follow…” Steve said. “This could get ugly…”
****
“How’s that horse coming, Terry?” Malon called as she entered the barn. *WHINNYYY!* *SPURTT!!....* “Is he supposed to sound like that?!” Malon cried.

”No, He’s not supposed ‘to sound like that!” Terry spat as he fluttered over covered in a teeny white coat. “I’m sorry to announce that old Percy, is DEAD.” Terry said glumly.

“That can’t be!” Malon protested. “He was fine just yesterday!”

“If you paid attention to his sleeping habits, you would’ve been aware that he was dying!” Terry replied.

“He slept just fine a few nights ago!” Malon replied. “The moment he got into the stable, he fell over and slept like a rock!”

“He had a… HEART-ATTACK!” Terry said in reply.”I’m sorry,” Terry said sincerely. “But there’s nothing else I can do. I’m afraid you’ll have to take it like a big girl and get a new horse.”

“…A new… horse…” Malon asked quietly. “B-but, we only get a new horse if the old one dies and… I hate to see horses DIE!” She cried.

“Well, he’s not necessarily dead,”Terry said. “He’s got a stroke.”

“So he’s not dead and we don’t have to switch horses?!” Malon eagerly asked.

“No…” Terry said slowly . “That ship has sailed.”

“Do I really have to pick a new horse?” Malon asked with a sigh.

“Yes, you do,” Terry answered.

“Then after a while, we can use Percy again?” she asked.

“No...,” Terry said slowly, again. “That’s another ship that’s sailed.”

“Hey! Terry!” The two turned around and saw James and Steve enter the Barn. “How’s Percy doing?”

“He’ll live,” Terry said as he took his coat off. “But he won’t be able to use the wagon anymore.”

“Now what’s going to happen with the cart business?” James asked.

“Hmm…” Steve thought. “Maybe they should… GET A NEW HORSE?!” He cried sarcastically.

“Horse…” James said to himself. “Hey! Why don’t we get a horse for a ride up Death Mountain?” He asked.

“Why do we need a horse to climb up a crumbly mountain…?” Steve asked.

“Judging from what faint glimpses I caught when I plummeted down last time,” James began. “No man alone can climb Death Mountain without a ride!”

“Well that won’t happen anytime soon,” Terry said, “Until Malon picks a new horse.”

“YEAH! Well good shuriken barrage to you too!” Everyone saw John shouting at somebody as he came into the barn. “And put some make-up on that zit!”

“Hah!” Malon said. “Lass has a zit! I’m obviously more Beautiful than her!”

“Nope,” John said. “Impa does, she’d better get that beauty-mark removed too…” John noticed what Malon said. “James already said you were prettier, why are you bringing it up again?”

“Cause it takes more than one person to decide,” Malon answered.

”ER-HEM!” Terry coughed. “Get a new horse--*ER-HEM!!*”.

“Aw, hush-up!” Malon said. “I was going to do it anyway.”

“I saw Ingo in the horse’s stable,” John said. “Why don’t you call him over with the horse?”

“Nah,” Malon said. “I haven’t even decided which one to pick, I’ll just call them all over, it’s quicker.” Malon walked outside the barn with the others following. Malon faced towards the horse-stable, cleared out her throat, and sang a slow, soothing melody. But nothing happened. James walked into the path of the stable, looked both ways, and shrugged.

“Nothing’s there,” he observed.

“GET OUTTA THE WAY!!!” Ingo cried as he ducked into the barn.

“Why, what’s so----” Before James could finish, he was crushed by a stampede of horses. James slowly got up, only to be ran over by more horses. He got up again, and got ran down again. “Any more want to run me over…?” James asked. He got up yet again, but he was ran down by a little colt who scraped his hooves off on James like a carpet before moving on. John kneeled down to the flattened rock.

“How ya’ doing, Flat-rock?” he asked mockingly.

“Don’t you start with me…!” James spat under the dirt. Malon wandered back and forth among the horses.

“Old blue… to sad, Thumble… to small…” Malon observed more and more as she neared the end of the long line of horses, with a black stallion and the colt at the end. “Black-Star… too dangerous… Epona… Too perfect!!” Malon exclaimed as she saw the colt. The other horses groaned and cursed and walked back to the stable. John observed Epona.

“Where’s the horse?” he asked. “Cause all I see is the sea-food special—shrimp, special...” Malon gasped and covered Epona’s ears.

“We will NOT call horses food on this ranch-- Understood!?” she asked with superiority in her voice.

“—Yes, Ma’am---!!” Everybody quickly answered, everybody except for John.

“I still don’t think we can depend on this spindly horse to take us up Death Mountain!” John protested.

“WHAT HORSE?!” Somebody called.

“Oh, great…” Malon sighed. “It’s dad, he’ll never let us use Epona…” Talon approached the group and looked down on Epona.

“What’s this I hear about Epona taking you folks up Death Mountian?” He asked.

“Er, uh… I was thinking that we could lend the boys this horse to take them up Death Mountain…?” Malon said quietly.

“You can’t be serious!!” Talon cried. “Epona’s too young to walk up death mountain unseupervised, with a wagon on her!”

“That’s why I’m going with them,” Malon stated as she stroked Epona’s little mane. Talon stared a moment, and then burst out laughing.

“It’s impossible! A little farm-girl like you, walking up a mountain with a little horse, and a bunch of rowdy boys!—No offense, guys,--” Talon said.

“Pa, you said I could deliver milk farther than Castle-Town one day,” Malon defended. “Consider it delivering some milk to the Gorons.” Talon thought a moment, and then sighed.

“Alright, you can go,” Talon gave in. “But you better come back with a profit of at least $20, otherwise, you may not be able to deliver as far as there for a While!” Talon said.

“Don’t worry sir,” James said. “I’ll-I mean We’ll keep Malon safe,” He said insuring. Talon got a suspicious look in his eye.

“Come here, boy,” He said as he led James to the other side of the barn, away from the others. He knelt down to a bush and picked out a long stick with a wickedly long blade at the end. “See this scythe, boy?” He asked. James fearfully nodded his head. “This Scythe can shave a diameter of three meters of corn in One, Whole, Slice…!” James gulped as he looked at the blade that indeed look like it could do that, and much more. “This thing was forged in the highest mountain, in the hottest furnace, by the strongest Black-Smith who goes by the name: ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!!” he said threateningly.

“Y-yes s-sir…” James said shaking.

“And don’t even think you can try and get away with it!” He snarled.

“How come?” John asked… wait, John? How’d he get there?

“AAAH!!” Talon screamed as he saw John right next to him. The scythe fell from his hands and the moment the blade hit the ground, it cut right into it until the hilt hit the ground.

“How will you know?” John asked.

“… I know a guy…” Talon said as he tried to jerk the Scythe out of the ground.

“The ‘guy’ doesn’t happen to be a guy called Keapora Geabora, does it?” John asked.

“I know no Owl named Keapora Geabora!” Talon spat.

“Busted,” John said as he and James turned to go back to the others. “We didn’t say Keapora Geabora was an owl!”

“Nooo!” Talon shouted as the two joined the others.

“Is everything alright, Talon?” Ingo asked as he walked over to Talon.

“Yeah, sure,” Talon said. “Say, could you check on the old stable out back?” he asked. “I heard that something’s growing in there, and I want you to make sure it’s safe.”

“Yeah, I also heard that the thing growing in the Stable are High-Octane Bomb-flowers, the strongest type around! One touch, and the whole stable could explode if I open the door!” Ingo replied.

“Just do it,” Talon said. “I’ll pay ya extra if you do it--”

“Sold!” Ingo immediately said as he walked over to the old stable. When the others got back, Malon led Epona over to the wagon that Percy used to use.

“Do any of you play an instrument?” she asked. All of the boys held up their instruments.

“Yeah, why?” James asked.

“Epona won’t listen to anybody unless they play that melody I sang, so unless you three learn what I call ‘Epona’s song’, Epona won’t let you ride in the wagon.” Malon explained.

“So you want to teach it to us?” James asked. Malon nodded.

“’Everybody ready?” She asked. Everyone held their flutes to their mouths and waited. Malon took a deep breath and sang the melody.

When Epona heard the melody, she trotted over to James and rubbed her muzzle against his hand. Malon smiled as she saw what Epona did.

“That’s a very nice tune,” James said as he lead Epona over to the wagon.

“Yep,” Malon said. “It was composed when I was little, It reminds of my mother… Oh I miss my mother so much…” She said as she buried her face in James’ shoulder and began to sob. James gave John a wink. John rolled his eyes and groaned.
***
The wagon was hitched unto Epona and the group was already on their way with Malon riding Epona. By the time they were on the Trail, Malon suddenly began to act nervous.

“Are you sure the farm’ll be okay without me?” She asked. “I mean, I usually took care of the horses, and I don’t think Ingo knows how to treat them, and I usually milk the cows and Pa’s too rough and--”

“Malon, Malon, Malon!” James said. “We—well most of us…” He said as he looked at John. “Went through the same thing when we had to leave our Home villages, Just calm down, and everything will be alright.”

“I know…” Malon said. “It’s just that, sometimes I feel like the whole ranch’ll explode without me---”


The group stared in silence at the smoke. and they heard what seemed to be Ingo screaming.

“…I don’t wanna know!” Malon said as she got Epona into full gallop.

 

[Swordbomb]

i want next chapter ASAP i LOVE this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!