Zelda Art The Legend of Zelda: Deathly Desires

[HookShotFTW]

Chapter 1(Prologue/Sample)
I woke up, the room was...darker than normal. I brushed it aside got myself dressed and checked if Zelda had woken up. She was luckily sleeping so I could try out the new bow Gondo sent me. She frowns upon using weapons unless in danger. I rode Maku to the local Bazaar. Picked up some arrows thanked Gondo and left. I found 12-13 rupees in the grass. I practiced my bow but was slightly off. I still had the feeling in the back of my mind that something was off. When I checked on Tatl and Tael...They were gone!

Whaddya think? First fanfic so keep that in mind.

 

[Katelynn]

I'm sorry, but this can't possibly be the start of a fan-fiction. Where's the detail? Where are we? Who the hell are Gondo and Maku, and how'd you get to the bazaar?

Please be sure to add all of these in, and a little bit more. Hopefully, you'll get the hang of introducing people, areas, and items later on. You can always search "how to write a good story" on the internet if you need help.

Welcome~

 

[gerudogirl]

Um, darling, this is far too short, even for a prologue. You need to add more details to keep us interested.

 

[xmajorax]

Yes, It is very short. But don't worry, that seems to be your only problem. The writing seems good, especially for your first time.

 

[HookShotFTW]

I'm sorry, but this can't possibly be the start of a fan-fiction. Where's the detail? Where are we? Who the hell are Gondo and Maku, and how'd you get to the bazaar?

Please be sure to add all of these in, and a little bit more. Hopefully, you'll get the hang of introducing people, areas, and items later on. You can always search "how to write a good story" on the internet if you need help.

Welcome~

It's supposed to be a mystery it all gets revealed slowly. Also that was just a sample to see how people reacted. The real beginning is nowhere near done