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The Boy and His Sword(Wind Waker Fan Fic)

jbkarate9

KAME HAME HA!!!!
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Location
New York
Charecter profiles:
Name:Rocco
Islan:eek:utset
Bio:Links bestfriend and schoolmate. Link and Rocco have been best friends since they can remember.

Chapter 1
``` Outset Island```
Link walked into the clasroom and went right to Mr. Sturgeon. "Mr. Sturgeon could you let me and aryll out early today? My grandmother needs us home tonight." Mr Sturgeon thought for a while and replyed. "Fine but only this once your studys are just as important as everything else!" Link started to smile and replyed. "Oh thank you Mr Sturgeon!" Mr Sturgeon blushed a bit and said "ok everyone take a seat and take out your writing pads and pencils you have a test today!" Everyone groaned except for aryll she enjoyed her classes it gave her some time away from the house. Link looked around and noticed that Rocco wasn't in school today only Zill, Jole, Aryll,and himself. Mr. Sturgeon walked around the room and handed out the tests. "Now remember students do not write on this test! I only have so few copies!" Link started to take the test but then struggled wit hthe math section of it he was never good with math. Mr. Sturgeon came around and collected all the tests and smiled at each and every student. Mr Sturgeon went back to his desk and started to grade the tests. "Ok Link, Aryll your dismissed come get your tests." Link and aryll walked up got there tests and walked out. On the way home link looked over to see what aryll got on the test. "wow you got a 95? Good job you did better then me I got an 80!." "Do you think grandma will be mad?" "Oh no not at all you tried your best that is all that matters now lets hurry home." Link and aryll hurried home to notice that grandma had there favorite soup on the table for dinner. "Welcome home aryll and link how was school?" They both said at same time. "Oh it was fine we had a test today" "Ya i got an 80 and aryll got a 95 it was a hard test though." "Ok well sit and eat some warm soup" "mmm yummy my favorite!" Link hurrily ate his soup and went to bed. When link woke up he hurrily ate some leftovers got dressed and left for Mr. Orcas house. When link got there Mr. Orca was out in shorts and no shirt again. "So im guessing we are doing the marathon run swim and sword fight again?" "HAHA! Got that right grab your sword and shield and lets go!" Link and Orca ran for 1 hour and then immediatley started to swim a mile. When the mile was done link was really tired so Orca gave gim a 10 minute break to rest up a bit. "Ok up and adam! Lets go!" Link got up and started sword fighting with mr orca. "Ok today link you will learn the parry" "this move is very affective if the person is going to attack you." After a few hours of drilling the parry it was sword fight against orca time. "Ok now if you parry 3 times while we are sword fighting I will give you a day off!" Orca swung at link and link parryed hitting orca in the stomach. Link swung at mr orca and hit him 2 times. Mr orca kept swing and link parryed to more times. "Enough!" "good job you actually did 3 parrys!" "Ok you get tomorrow off!" "thanks mr orca!" Link hurried home to his grandma and aryll and told her the great news. "Grandma i get a day off tomorrow can i go to roccos house?" "yes honey just be back by 5 for dinner ok?" "remember you have school today!" "ok bye grandma" Link ran over to the west part of the island and over to roccos house. "Hi Rocco where were you yesterday? We had a test I got an 80." "hehe good job on the test i was sick with some flu from this pigs or whatever." "Ok what do you wanna do?" "Oh I just wanna hang out here." "Ok!" Aryll says hi by the way... I think she has a crush on you or something." Link started to look at Rocco and noticed that he had some new really nice clothes. "Hey where did you get those clothes they are nice!" "Oh Sue-Belle made them for me!" "Ok well I got to get back home to get ready for school!" "Bye Rocco!" "Bye Link see you in school!" Link hurried to school with Aryll so He wouldnt be late. Mr. Sturgeon didnt have anything planned so he let them out early. Link and Aryll rushed home playing a little bit on the way home. "Hi grandma! Mr. Sturgeon let us out early." "Oh good!" "Link, Aryll go to bed we have a busy day tomorrow! It is Links birthday tomorrow!"

(End of chapter 1)
 
Last edited:

*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
Gender
Entity
For a twelve year old the story wasn't bad. You just need to work on placing commas, separating the story a bit kinda like I do--not just have it all bunched together. Also, might I suggest a bit of description of surrounding and characters? Not much is needed since I---we--know the world of Zelda and can pretty much imagine the world surrounding the characters.

Mr. Orca wasn't wearing a shirt, lol, that was funny. Yeah, so just work on that stuff I mentioned and you'll be good to go. I'll keep reading the chapters to come, just so you know, I like reading what others have to offer.
 

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