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The Bitro-Sizian Roleplay

Dark Boo

The Darkest of Boos
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The Grand Poobah appears via a screen on the wall. Jimbo, who'd just barely left the room, drops to his knees.

Mr. Bite-Size, Grand Poobah of Bitro-Sizia: Well, Bite my Size! It looks like that little Size is being a real Bite Size! Well, I know exactly what to do! Guards! Bite his Size!

A team of guards appear to arrest the Defence Minister for questioning authority. Jimbo slinks away unnoticed. Once out of view, he breathes a sigh of relief. He's a big fan of Mr. Bite-Size, but he's also afraid of him.

Mr. Bite-Size is a mysterious individual who is allegedly the Grand Poobah, head of state and government in the Bitro-Sizian Empire. He's essentially like Big Brother, if that helps.
*The Defense Minister dashes out of view and boards a plane to flee the country*
 

Dark Boo

The Darkest of Boos
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Bite-Size Guard: Damn, he escaped. He's probably gonna tell all those "free" countries about us. And our gulags.
Lokop: Well, United Nations. I would like to say something.
President of the UN: Go right ahead.
Lokop: I was former defense minister of a country called "Bitro-Sizia" a place where all freedoms and civil liberties are banned. Simply asking the government for help is deemed a crime. The country is right now in a full-blown civil war with itself, a famine is going on there, and there's extreme income inequality. I say we go down there and set up a provisional government.
 

Dark Boo

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Bite-Size Guard: Uh, sir. There's a bunch of airplanes heading towards us.
 

AwdryFan1997

you are not immune to propaganda
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IRAQ!?
Meanwhile, Jimbo leads another troop of soldiers to aid in the conflict. The two armies are evenly matched. Jimbo, ready to end this, gives his speech in Bitro-Sizian.

Jamius Bodevkha: Bite-Size! Size bite size size bite-size bite bite size-bite size size bite bite-bite size size bite bite-size size size-bite bite-size bite bite size-size. Bite-Size! Bite size bite-bite size!

The army cheers, however they didn't understand a word he said, either due to Bitro-Sizian being a near-dead language known only by relatively intelligent Bitro-Sizians or due to Jimbo's strong Midwestern Bitro-Sizian accent.
Bite-Size Guard: Uh, sir. There's a bunch of airplanes heading towards us.
Brendera Innevochi, Jamius Bodevkha's right-hand woman, is offended.

Brendera Innevochi: If you're looking for Mr. Bodevkha, he's not here. You'll have to take orders from a woman for now. So, what's this about airplanes?
 

Dark Boo

The Darkest of Boos
Joined
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Meanwhile, Jimbo leads another troop of soldiers to aid in the conflict. The two armies are evenly matched. Jimbo, ready to end this, gives his speech in Bitro-Sizian.

Jamius Bodevkha: Bite-Size! Size bite size size bite-size bite bite size-bite size size bite bite-bite size size bite bite-size size size-bite bite-size bite bite size-size. Bite-Size! Bite size bite-bite size!

The army cheers, however they didn't understand a word he said, either due to Bitro-Sizian being a near-dead language known only by relatively intelligent Bitro-Sizians or due to Jimbo's strong Midwestern Bitro-Sizian accent.

Brendera Innevochi, Jamius Bodevkha's right-hand woman, is offended.


Brendera Innevochi: If you're looking for Mr. Bodevkha, he's not here. You'll have to take orders from a woman for now. So, what's this about airplanes?
*The airplanes descend troops*
Soldier: GET OUT NOW! WE ARE SETTING UP A PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT.
 

AwdryFan1997

you are not immune to propaganda
Joined
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Location
IRAQ!?
*The airplanes descend troops*
Soldier: GET OUT NOW! WE ARE SETTING UP A PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT.
*This inconvenience is a temporary one, thinks the Bitro-Sizians to themselves. How the planes managed to make it so far into the continent without being shot down is a mystery. Security will be tightened by the Big Government. Massive amounts of troops are summoned and sent to the battlefield, not to participate in the ongoing Civil War but to expel the outsiders.*
 

Dark Boo

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*The troops shoot down the Bitro-Sizians and proceed to launch missiles into the Big Government's HQ*
 

AwdryFan1997

you are not immune to propaganda
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Location
IRAQ!?
*The troops shoot down the Bitro-Sizians and proceed to launch missiles into the Big Government's HQ*
*The fake Big Government HQ is destroyed, however the real one remains unable to be found. The UN troops are then shot down in retaliation. The threat of other countries meddling in Bitro-Sizia's human rights abuses is over.*
 

Dark Boo

The Darkest of Boos
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*The fake Big Government HQ is destroyed, however the real one remains unable to be found. The UN troops are then shot down in retaliation. The threat of other countries meddling in Bitro-Sizia's human rights abuses is over.*
*The United States proceeds to drop a giant nuclear weapon upon Bitro-Sizia*
SODOTUS: Nuclear warfare has commenced.
 

Dark Boo

The Darkest of Boos
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Yeah, that went a bit overboard.

SODOTUS: Never mind, don't drop a bomb. Instead, send 10,000 troops to the eastmost province to take control. *10,000 troops arrive in the east*
 
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AwdryFan1997

you are not immune to propaganda
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Location
IRAQ!?
Yeah, that went a bit overboard.

SODOTUS: Never mind, don't drop a bomb.
*With the greater threat neutralized, everything is focused on the primary conflict. With relative ease, the Central forces push through and send the Middle army back.*

Brendera Innevochi: There we go... they're on the run. We just head onward and the city is ours.

Jamius Bodevkha: Keep them running as far as they'll go. Make sure we've secured the land the scrolls claim Bedpan was buried in. We'll stay the night over in the city. I can't wait to be home once more...
 

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