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Terms of Endearment

Beauts

Rock and roll will never die
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Location
London, United Kingdom
This is inspired by Ventus' thread about whether slang words like bro/dude/homie bother you or not.

Does being referred to as 'babe' 'love' 'honey', 'sweetie' etc bother you?

Personally I hate it, and I hate it on a blanket basis. I don't like anybody calling me things like that, whether they're family, in a relationship with me, or they're a stranger. I just hate it.

If it's family, I find it weird because the family I grew up with (my mum's side) aren't like that at all- none of us are outwardly affectionate or anything like that. But my dad's family are completely different. Like, my dad calls me stuff like that all the time, and I did think for a while that the reason it bothers me is because he doesn't really know me and I found it very assuming not to mention patronising to be called 'baby' and 'sweetheart' by someone who ****ed off for how many years of my life. But then I came to realise it bothers me no matter who says it. Like, my ex once called me babe and it just really annoyed me so I told him to never call me that again, and only to call me my name*. And I also hate it when strangers or at least people that don't know me well call me love. I have a neighbour who I don't talk to but we say hello having lived on the same street forever, but he's always all "alright, love" and it makes me want to gauge my eyes out. I have no idea why this even is, aside from the whole patronising and overly assuming thing.

I'm just curious, also I hope it's not just me who hates that kind of stuff, because the impression I get from my friends is that I'm weird!

*Bonus point for anyone who knows my real first name, I don't know if I've ever told anyone here but you know, to make it more fun, you can guess. :monkey:
 

Ventus

Mad haters lmao
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Akkala
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Hylian Champion
I've been called honey before and it left this really disturbing chill in my spine. The chill was lingering there for about ten hours, not joking. In response, I've come to hate that term. I understand what it's supposed to mean - by calling someone honey you're basically saying they're sweet and delectable - but it just sounds so off-putting that I stay away from the term and sometimes even people who use it. :/

I'm in a weird position regarding sweetie and sweetheart, though.

When I hear someone mention the former, I cringe when it's directed to an older person (13 years or older), and I cringe even harder when it's directed to a male. Sweetie sounds like a baby word, looks feminine (due to the ie), and it definitely looks like a child's word in my opinion. So, if your 5 year old daughter is running about and she comes to you asking for a treat, you would say "yes, sweetie." But if your 14 year old daughter, I'd just hate for you to call her sweetie. It's weird to me.

For the latter, I tend to hate the word when it's used for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I just have this weird spite for anything related to a boy/girlfriend. I know a lot of people are going to say "that's because you never had one", "you got turned down", "you're ugly", "you're a pretentious ****" and a whole bunch of other stuff. But none of that is true regarding why I hate it being used for a boyfriend or girlfriend. My reasoning is because I noticed a 'couple' who called each other sweetheart yadda yadda yadda, then they broke up. Oh well, break ups happen all the time right? This one was slightly different. After they broke up, the two folks only had hatred for each other. They were anything BUT sweet, at least when talking to each other. It seemed and still seems to me like sweetheart is a term you'd use to describe someone as they are in their natural state, but in this case it was a word just to get liked by someone. :/ Anyway, if it's not used for a bf/gf, I've no real problems with it.


I have a complete and utter dislike for baby, though. That's just gross. And patronizing. And gross. ;p
 
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Mercedes

つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
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Depends on which words, and also depends on the context, I think the latter's very important.

If some ******bag in a club is calling me babe and hunny, then yeah, I'll tell him to shut up and stop calling me that, I really don't like that and 'babe' and 'baby' are terms I've never particularly liked regardless of who says it. But on the other end, my brothers and boyfriend will call me sweetheart or sweetie and other cute little names like that, and I'm okay with it used in that sense. I guess a story of it all would be when I was on the train trying to get my heavy bags down when coming back home, and this man came over to help and even carried the bags off the train for me and he called be darling. Quite casual, I say thanks and he's just "No problem darlin', have a nice day." I didn't really mind it in that context. He was simply being nice and helping me, and he didn't know my name and so called me that, it wasn't derogatory or anything and he was a nice, so, in that context, I wasn't offended or anything. But say, using the first example, some ******bag guy comes up in a club calling me darling and hunny and being how guys often are then he'll get told exactly where to go. So, context is important for me.

I find 'babe' to be quite chauvinistic, really, despite when or where it's said and by who, and can see it as a bit condescending and patronising, to call a girl baby. "Hey baby", like that. Babe and baby are things my boyfriend explicitly got told not to say, I don't like that, but, more cute, pleasant ones like sweetie, I can live with that, I don't really mind that when it's a person I know and care about and cares about me. :) It's just a cute pet nickname as far as I'm concerned. I know my boyfriend's mam calls him Pickle. Lol.
 
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
I hate them all with a burning passion. I find them all to be quite annoying, especially when certain people say them. Hell, it feels like it took forever before I warmed up to them being used jokingly on here. Aside from that, Mercey, Ven, and Beauts have all summed up quite well how I feel about the terms of endearment in question...
 

Ventus

Mad haters lmao
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/me likes every post here

Also, I think Beauts' real first name is Jessica. She looks like a Jessica to me. ;p

SUPERHKEDIT: There was one term that was left out and it is the absolute WORST to hear for me: boo. People couple it with my to say something like "Look at my boo, isn't he so handsome? AREN'T YOU JEALOUS?!" and I cannot function when it is spoken. I'd say a lot of offensive terms right now but I can't. To sum it up nicely, if you want your legs then you'd best not say boo in my presence - unless you're trying to scare me. >_>'
 

CynicalSquid

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I have only been called sweetheart and babycakes (which is the same as babe/baby I guess). I feel weird when people call me sweetheart because I'm a teenage boy. It just doesn't feel like something you should call a 16 year old boy. I have only been called babycakes by one person and I don't mind it. I actually find it kind of cute for some reason. I think it was weird for me at first, but I guess I got used to it.

I'd say these words don't really bother me. It feels weird when people call me them, but they don't offend me or anything. It's not like people have been calling me it in a sarcastic or offensive tone. I guess it may be different with some people. Well, it is different with some people. I just don't like letting something as little as words bother me.

I have a problem with using some of these words though. Words like babe, baby, honney, and hun kind of make me feel like a tool. I also try not to use these words because some people get offended by them. I also don't like using these words because it makes me feel wrong. It might be because of my morals or it might be because I don't want to offend people.

I don't mind using words like sweety, sweetheart, and love though. They don't seem as d*uchey in my opinion. If people get offended or it bothers them though, I would obviously stop using them. I guess it just depends.
 

Mercedes

つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
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Ventus said:
SUPERHKEDIT: There was one term that was left out and it is the absolute WORST to hear for me: boo. People couple it with my to say something like "Look at my boo, isn't he so handsome? AREN'T YOU JEALOUS?!" and I cannot function when it is spoken. I'd say a lot of offensive terms right now but I can't. To sum it up nicely, if you want your legs then you'd best not say boo in my presence - unless you're trying to scare me. >_>'
I've never actually heard the term 'boo' before, I suppose that's some kind of American thing then or has that just not reached my shores yet... I don't get what that even means. :P 'My boo'. I feel like it's missing a 'bs' off the end.
 

sailorgirl221

What a fearsome beast!!
Joined
Dec 19, 2011
Location
Oklahoma city, OK
yikes. I feel like the black sheep lol. I don't mind it really, actually where im from and most of southern USA people will hardly call you your name it will just be an affectionate nick name. Sweetheart, sweety, babygirl, sweetbabygirl, sweetbabyman, baby, all sorts of nick names though it's more older ladies and men who would say it not people around my age. so honestly I don't care if it's said about me even if it is a creeper.. cause I can put a creeper in it's place real quick lol..
I kinda gotten into the habit of calling people "sweetheart" but that's it. and only if i've been talking to them for a minute.
it's just the way I was raised.
 

misskitten

Hello Sweetie!
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Location
Norway
I think with me it would depend on which terms of endearment was being used and who was using them. Terms of endearment only work if both parties in a relationship respond to them. Some terms are also very dependant on the situation. There are certainly terms of endearment that I just don't think would work on me no matter who was saying it, but for the most part as long as the terms themselves don't feel artificial, I don't think I would resent them. Tone of voice could also make a huge difference. Like, some terms could be used in a humorous way, others would be more fitting for more serious and genuine moments.

Of the words mentioned, "babe" would only be something I could respond to if it was said for the sake of humor. The only time I would accept "love" was if the person saying it was British and it was merely a cultural thing. "Honey" would only really fit me in a semi-joking matter. I tend to like "sweetie", but that shouldn't be all that surprising considering I'm a whovian and a huge fan of River Song :P Oh, and I have to agree that "baby" is completely patronising and I would hate being called that. And "boo" is just a term that doesn't fit me culturally, so it would just feel odd to me.
 

Mellow Ezlo

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The only person who ever really calls me "sweetie" is our neighbour who lives upstairs. Though I normally dislike being called that particular term, I for some odd reason don't mind it when she says is. It might be because I used to have a bit of a crush on her (Hey don't sue me, she's only 23!), but I also find her really pretty, and it feels somehow, I dunno, different when she says it. When other people call me sweetie, I get annoyed and disgusted, because it seems somewhat childish to me. But I dunno, there's just something about the way she says it that gets to me.

As for words like Baby and Honey, I don't mind them. I mean, I don't ever get called them, but I really don't mind hearing them. My dad and his gf call eachother Babe and Hun all the time, and it doesn't bother me. For couples like them, it sounds right. I'm sure if some random person in the street was just like "Hey baby, what's shakin'?" or "Hi hun, how's it goin'?", it would be pretty strange and awkward. But when couples say it, I really couldn't care less. In fact, I find it rather sweet when couples use affectionate terms for eachother.
 

Curmudgeon

default setting: sarcastic prick
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Dec 17, 2012
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grumpy
I don't particularly care for them. My mother and wife are the only two people that receive any leeway in this regard - the former because it would take too long to reprogram decades of habit, the latter because... because reasons.

Everyone else is subjected to the Putin Glare of Disapproval
 

bunny

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Well, it depends on the term and who's saying it.

My mom calls me so many different names... Most of them I don't mind, but there are a few I hate with a burning passion of 20,000 flaming suns. Sugar booger, (seriously, I don't even) Abba-dabba, and Abi-roo are just a few of those that I dislike. I let her say them though because, well... She's my mom. I can deal with simple stuff like sweetheart/sweetie, baby/babe, and honey/hun I guess. Some terms I've just gotten used to because people use them for me so much. One of my friends calls me babe all of the time, but she does the same for everyone else, so I guess that's just natural for her. It fits her personality to call her friends that, so it doesn't bug me, really. I think the only term of endearment that I actually like would be Abi-bear. I don't know why, but I just love it when people call me that, as long as they're close family or friends.

When strangers call me anything like that it's just kinda weird unless they're older ladies. Like if an old lady calls me sweetie, that's just like... whatever. It's normal. I can deal with it.
 

Dan

Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Gender
V2 White Male
Well Beauts this is certainly a level 20 thread alright, so I'll just give you a reply on it's level.

If someone calls me honey, darling or some shizzle I don't mind as it's not intended to be a bit harsh, however I draw the line pretty hard when it comes to being called baby, which is pretty much the heaviest insult around, I don't care what context it's in, I didn't even accept being called a baby when I was was just out the womb, I strangled the Doctor in cold blood when he said "it's a beautiful baby boy". (I had a high power level when I was a baby). Seriously it's one of the worst words in human history, I recall this girl saying "hey babe listen can you go fin-" I said silently "what the **** did you just call me", and she was all like "omg what is your issue like I just called you babe tehehehe", I immediately grabbed her by the neck and push her towards the ground and pulled out a picture of a baby I always carry around in my pocket for these ever so rare occasions and shouted "Do I look like this, disgusting, pus bucket of **** to you", She began crying her eyes out and that's how I got fired from my job working as a Janitor at Mcdonalds, but sticking to your principles is something money can never buy.

Occasionally however I will mock all these cutesy words by coming up with my own, but only to those that call me "babe, darling, honey", some of the words I use are star drops, sunshine dust, sparkle bean, cutie baba, and of course moon poopa. The looks I get are quite priceless. :D

Okay and as for your name Beauts I believe it to be, Cinderella Summers.
 
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misskitten

Hello Sweetie!
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Location
Norway
Well, it depends on the term and who's saying it.

My mom calls me so many different names... Most of them I don't mind, but there are a few I hate with a burning passion of 20,000 flaming suns. Sugar booger, (seriously, I don't even) Abba-dabba, and Abi-roo are just a few of those that I dislike. I let her say them though because, well... She's my mom.
Oh, you should hear some of the nicknames my mom have for me. Both my older sisters got really cutesy names "dokka" ("doll"), "gullet" ("sweetie"), etc. while I got "klompestompen" ("lumpy-bottom"), "snusperuspa" (I have NO translation for that one). It really annoyed me, and then my nieces were born and guess what? They got really cutesy names, while I was still stuck with these two awful names that weren't complimetary EVER (I know mom means them in a sweet way, but they are just awful terms of endearment to use)
 

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