Tell a Joke

[GoronGainz]

Any joke, doesn't have to be original, doesn't have to be funny. Just a joke.
(that follows the rules & guidelines of the forum)

A man walks into a bar. He says "Oww "

 

[Spirit]

Metroid Other M

Why can't penguins fly?
because they're chocolate biscuits

 

[TheGreatCthulhu]

A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender, “What’s with the meat?”

The bartender says, “If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?”

The man takes another look at the meat, then says, “I think I’ll pass. The steaks are too high.”

 

[GoronGainz]

I want to tell you about a girl who eats plants.

Nevermind, you've probably never heard of herbivore.

 

[TheGreatCthulhu]

Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it.

Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies, "Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."

 

[Spirit]

Skyward Sword

Why can't penguins play football?
because there's snowball

 

[VikzeLink]

Tarzan went to the witch doctor and said:
"I think I'm having some eye-problems, could you take a look at them?"
The witch doctor examined his eyes, and then he said: "Yes.. I see... I think I can help you with that"
He then switched Tarzans eyes out for eagle-eyes
"Thank you doctor. However, I'm also having some trouble with my nose, I can't really sense smell that well.
The witch doctor then switched Tarzans nose out for a boar snout.
"Thank you doctor. There is one last thing... I feel like my junk is a bit small... Could you fix that?
The witch doctor then switched Tarzans junk out for an elephants trunk.
"Thank you very much!" He said and left the witch doctor.

2 days later, Tarzan came back.
"So, how's it going?" asked the witch doctor.
"It's... fine... But there is a problem..." Tarzan replied
"Oh, are the eyes not working right?"
"Oh no, the eyes are great! I can see for miles!"
"Is it the snout then?"
"The snout is working fine too, I can easily find all sorts of food"
"So it's the elephants trunk? Is it too big? Too small?"
"No... the size is fine... But it keeps putting grass up my butt!"

 

[TheGreatCthulhu]

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples that says, "Only take one. God is watching."

Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note that says, "Take all you want. God's watching the apples."

 

[CynicalSquid]

My life

 

[GoronGainz]

Braille isn't difficult to learn, you just have to have a feel for it.

 

[GrooseIsLoose]

I'm gonna buy Nintendo switch after Dec 2020.

 

[Spirit]

Why did the Hipster burn his mouth on his pizza?

because he ate it before it was cool

 

[GoronGainz]

I recently bought shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

 

[twilitfalchion]

Fire Emblem Fates

I found a Zelda fanfic where Ganondorf took over Hyrule, but for some reason I couldn't click on it.

I guess the Link was dead.

 

[GrooseIsLoose]

Mr. Broccoli: I look like a tree
Mr.Walnut:I look like a brain
Mr.Banana:Haha...ha....I'll catch up later guys. See ya.