Talk of the Ancients

[NewJourneysFire]

This is a fun topic designed to deviate from the norm of Zelda theory, the idea is to think of stupid things you found in Temples that could be explained by no other reason be except the theory "because it's Nintendo", and than try to construct a possible conversation that could have occurred when constructing the Temple, for example:

Ancient 1: When the hero hits this switch, we'll want the huge statue to rise, revealing the chest to the key.
Ancient 2: Gotcha!
Ancient 1: Than the hero must travel to the chest and get the key.
Ancient 2: Check!
Ancient 1: When the hero opens the chest, we'll want the statue to start to lower above him.
Ancient 2: But than that would crush him.
Ancient 1: Of course!
Ancient 2: And.... Why do we want to do that?
Ancient 1: To put his skills to the test.
Ancient 2: But what good will that do if he dies?
Ancient 1: Than he wouldn't be the hero.
Ancient 2: Who else in the right mind would even get this far?
Ancient 1: Only the hero would get this far.
Ancient 2: Than why on earth are we testing him?
Ancient 1: So we'll know he's ready to face the evil that's ahead of him.
Ancient 2: How? By walking 10 feet in less than 15 seconds? Anyone can do that.
Ancient 1: Than we have nothing to worry about.
Ancient 2: And what if his outfit gets caught into the treasure chest or something? What if he just has dumb luck?
Ancient 1: That won't happen, he's the hero, his survival is certain.
Ancient 2: Than why on earth are we doing this again?!?!
Ancient 1: Because it's Nintendo.