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Taka's Tale

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
Chapter One:

Golden beams of pure light shone across the savannah as dawn broke. A lion, followed by his mate and two cubs, confidently strode through the tall, tan grass. One of the cubs slowed down, to be beside his mother. That cub was slightly smaller than his brother, and often was found daydreaming by the waterhole. He was often teased by the other cubs, and found peace by being alone. That cub was none other than I.

“Mama?” I asked, staring up at her. Uru, my mama, looked down, her green eyes sparkling.

“What is it, M’dear?” she said.

“Where’re we going?” I asked. Mama has been so excited to go, so it must be important! I ran under her legs, my tail flying in the wind, and turned around to block her path. “Tell me!”

She laughed gently, “It’s a surprise, M’dear,” she said sweetly. She leaned down and touched noses. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Mufasa, the other cub, my brother, turned his head to face us. “Daddy told me, little brother!” he said, running toward me.

I huffed in annoyance. “Of course he did,” I muttered under my breath. Papa always did like Mufasa better than me. I don’t know why though.

He head-butted me, and pounced on my back. “Let’s play!” he yowled, his so called ‘beautiful’ fur bristling in excitement.

“Hey!” I shook him off, “I thought you were going to tell me what Papa said!”

His eyes glittered with amusement, “But it will be funner as a surprise!”

I eyed him, smirked, then suddenly, I leapt towards him, crashing into him. He gave a yelp as he landed onto the ground, his pelt catching dirt.

“Oh, you’ll pay for that!” he said playfully, shaking the dirt off.

He swiped at me, but I dodged. “Ha! Missed me!” I teased.

He growled, and lowered into the grass, until I could only see his amber eyes. Emerald eyes are far prettier in my opinion.

“What’re you doing?” I padded closer to him, visible confusion and annoyance on my face. Suddenly I realized what he was about to do, but I was to late to move. Mufasa leapt, and crashed me to the earth. He had me pinned! I tried to wiggle free, but it was no use; my brother was too strong.

I sighed. How come my brother always wins? It’s not fair! I gave a yelp, signaling him to get off of me, but he didn’t.

“Come on, little brother, push me off,” he said, a arrogant look on his face.

I growled, “I can’t,” I said through gritted teeth.

Mufasa looked up, “Daddy!” he yowled. Ahadi, my Papa, glanced back at us. He was a few yards ahead of us, I realized. We were falling behind.

“Sons, hurry up, we can’t be late,” Papa said quickly.

Mufasa leapt off of me, and bounded to be beside Papa. I trailed behind, still bummed by the fact I lost, again. Uru came over to my side, her tail sweeping around me.

“You’re sad you lost, aren’t you, M’dear,” she said softly.

I sniffed sadly. “yeah…” I looked up at Mama. Her green eyes were sparkling from the morning light. Compassion shone through them, filling my heart with gladness, gladness for having such a wonderful Mama.

A whirlwind of emotions flew through me. “Oh, Mama!” I cried, burying my muzzled into her fur. “It’s not fair! Papa likes Mufasa more than me, he’s better at everything!” I stopped at a sudden, terrible thought.

“I’m worthless…”

Uru gasped. “No you’re not, M’dear! You’re perfect,” she nuzzled my cheek. “You’re my sweet, wonderful baby…” she whispered. She then looked me in the eye, her emerald eyes showing pure love, pure sweetness. Oh, I just love my Mama. “Now, Go be beside your Papa and brother, you’re almost to the surprise!”

I looked back at her, but before I could say anything, Papa turned. “Taka! Uru! Get over here!”

Uru looked down, smiling. “I’ll race yah!” she laughed, as she suddenly bounded across the savannah. I giggled, taking off after her.

Now this was something I could do!

I sped up, relishing the feeling of the wind flowing through my fur. I came next to Mama; she looked surprised. We ran through the grass, the trees a blur. It felt like we were as fast a cheetahs!

“Well done, M’dear!” she praised as she slowed to a halt by Papa.

I stared ahead. A lion and a lioness padded forward, followed by two cubs. The lion lowered his head in front of Papa.

“Greetings, Ahadi. I am pleased to see you made it.” The lion was tan, with an even darker tan mane. His amber eyes glittered.

“We would never miss an invitation from Maji, the king of the Westland Pride,” Ahadi said warmly. He turned to us. “This is my mate, Uru. And these are my two sons, Mufasa and Taka.”

Maji’s eyes stared us over. Finally he looked up, and beckoned for his cubs and mate to come near. “This is my mate, Penzi.” A dark tan lioness with a light stripe on her back padded close. “….and this my son Baridi,” A light tan cub with sparkling teal eyes looked at me mischievously. “…and my daughter, Zira.”







Chapter Two:



Zira, a tan cub with a darker tan stripe on her back, eyed me playfully. Uru nudged me forward gently. “Go on, M’dear, go meet the other cubs.”

I slowly padded forward. Baridi glanced up at me, his ice-blue eyes shining with mischief.

“So, your name’s Taka, eh?” his eyes retracted to a mere slits, “Don’t you know that that means trash in the Ancient Lion Language?!”

I stopped in shock, then quickly recovered myself. “Don’t you know it also means wish, or want?” I retorted. “And,” I said, getting courage, “Your name looks no better, it means cold, which makes it sound like you’re cold-hearted.”

He growled, his claws sliding out. “It’s talking about my eyes, not my heart.”

Zira stepped between us. “Hey guys, stop fighting, let’s play.” She said, her tail waving. Baridi shot her a look.

“Not now, Zira,” he growled, pushing her on the ground. He turned to me, his eyes gleaming.

“Taka, you know, no one gets to ruffle my fur without paying for it!” He growled. Suddenly, running up to me, launched off the ground, claws out, aiming for me!

Before I could do anything, a shape jumped in front of me, blocking the blow of Baridi. As my eyes focused into view, I gasped. It was Mufasa! The sun illuminated his fur, making it glow bright golden. I had a prick of jealousy, why couldn’t I have such fur?

“Stay back little brother, I’ll deal with this.”

I gasped in shock and anger. I was furious! To think that Mufasa didn’t think I could defend myself?

“Mufasa.” I said, my jaw clenched in anger. He had Baridi pinned. “I was fine! I had it covered!” words spilled out of me, my frame shaking with anger. “I could’ve defended myself, I-I know it! You just want to make me feel humiliated!” I stopped, gasping for breath. I looked at him, a look of puzzlement on his face. I scowled. I don’t care what he looks like on the outside, I know, for a fact, in his heart there’s arrogance.

“Stop pretending you care!” I yowled, tears streaming down my muzzle. Some may say I was overreacting, but I wasn’t. All the time before we went on that trip, Mufasa had been doing that same very thing. I kept all my anger bottled up over that, but then I let it all out.

“Taka…” Mufasa started.

“NO!” I yowled. “you just want to make Papa like you more than me!” I hung my head in sadness. “You just want to be king…”

Baridi watched the fight with keen interest. I was disgusted by him, not even his fur ruffled by it all. I would even say he enjoyed it.

“Taka…” this time Zira approached me. I looked up, and before I could do anything, she nuzzled me, placing her head my shoulder.

“It’s okay, I’m here for you,” she whispered in my ear. My eyes opened wide in astonishment. How? How could she feel compassion for me? All the cubs, except Sarafina, surrounded Mufasa, not me. I felt like I was back at home with Sarafina, back by the pond, sitting in the flowers, her sweet words of comfort making me feel at peace. For a second, I relished the moment, breathing in Zira’s sweet sent. But it went away as soon as it had come.

“Uhh…” I backed out of Zira’s reach, filled with emotion. “Umm, Zira, I already like someone else…” I looked down, my pelt growing hot in embarrassment.

She snorted. “Yeesh, boys.” She looked at me, amused. “Can’t I just comfort someone without them having to think we’re together?”

She brushed past me, facing her brother. “And you, Baridi, you leave Taka alone, you hear me?!” she pounced on him, pushing him over. He yowled in surprise, and they started wrestling with each other. For a split second, I could see his eyes. His ice-cold, terrible eyes. They looked at me menacingly, and I knew, I knew for a fact, nothing good would come from him.
 

Storm_Echo

Gamer of Videos
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Location
Ethereal Plane
Ooh, nice! I was really thinking that Baridi would give our main character his namesake scar in the middle of the fight there. And then BAM, Mufasa incoming! I appreciate the chance to think about what happened BEFORE the Lion became King. As far as I know, Disney hasn't touched it, but Scar is one of the more intriguing characters just because of the vast difference between him and Mufasa. They're brothers, so what happened to get between them? It's very exciting to see your take on it!

I also gotta say, I could really feel the tension of that mini-fight scene. It's almost like mine own fur was being ruffled.. Great work!
 

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
This is really good! I like the details you use to paint a picture for your readers. One thing I want to note is that I'm finding a little bit hard to follow Taka's thoughts. For example:
It was Mufasa! The sun illuminated his fur, making it glow bright golden. I had a prick of jealousy, why couldn’t I have such fur?

Here, it feels hard to tell that "why couldn't I have such fur" is Taka's thoughts and not part of the story telling, because they're in the same sentence. Maybe it would be better to have them italicized in their own sentences so it's easier for the reader to distinguish? Of course, it could just be your style, which is fine. I just personally had a little trouble making the distinction between story-telling and character thoughts.

Other than that, I don't think I have anything I can add in the way of constructive criticism. I like the names you use. Some of them I recognize, but not others. Did you make some of them up? If so, you sure did a good job picking ones to fit the setting. :)
 

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
This is really good! I like the details you use to paint a picture for your readers. One thing I want to note is that I'm finding a little bit hard to follow Taka's thoughts. For example:

Here, it feels hard to tell that "why couldn't I have such fur" is Taka's thoughts and not part of the story telling, because they're in the same sentence. Maybe it would be better to have them italicized in their own sentences so it's easier for the reader to distinguish? Of course, it could just be your style, which is fine. I just personally had a little trouble making the distinction between story-telling and character thoughts.

Other than that, I don't think I have anything I can add in the way of constructive criticism. I like the names you use. Some of them I recognize, but not others. Did you make some of them up? If so, you sure did a good job picking ones to fit the setting. :)

I will note that down, and make it easier to read his thoughts in the next couple chapters. Thanks for the tip Az!

All the names are translated from Swahili to English. Swahili is referred to in the Fanfic as the Ancient Lion Language. Baridi, Maji, and Penzi are my oc’s, the rest of them are canon. Zira is in tlk 2 if you don’t recognize the name, and Uru and Ahadi are just know in the fandom for being Mufasa and Scars parents.

I’m glad you like it! It makes me happy :)
 

Mikey the Moblin

sushi is a suspicious hello
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Location
southworst united states
Gender
Dude
This is pretty good. Be cognizant of what tense you're writing in. You pretty much stay exclusively in the past tense but occasionally switch to present tense when it's not needed (for example, "I love my mama."). Doing so sometimes causes confusion and is best avoided. Try to find a way to write it in past tense that keeps the short and simplistic nature of the statement intact.
 

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
This is pretty good. Be cognizant of what tense you're writing in. You pretty much stay exclusively in the past tense but occasionally switch to present tense when it's not needed (for example, "I love my mama."). Doing so sometimes causes confusion and is best avoided. Try to find a way to write it in past tense that keeps the short and simplistic nature of the statement intact.

Thanks! I’ll keep that in mind. This is my first ever first person fanfic, so I’m glad for any tips :)
 

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
(Alright, next chapter up! @Azure Sage @Storm_Echo )

Chapter Three:

I trudged beside Mama, anger still residing in me. I stomped through the grass, my tail waving in frustration. Why didn’t Mufasa let me handle it? I was perfectly fine! He just wants to look good in front of father! Well, I’m just as good, right? I suddenly let out a yelp as I tripped over a rock. Dust surrounded me as I laid there, embarrassed. Mufasa turned to look at me, and I hurriedly jumped up and padded back to Mama, not wanting to see his reaction.

I looked back at Mufasa, and let out a quiet gasp. He, the one who fought Baridi, was talking with him! And, he was friendly towards him! How could he! I felt a rush of betrayal go through me. I sighed. Why should I have expected him to stay away from Baridi, he just attacked him to look good. I bet they’re best friends right now…

“We are here!”

I turned to see Papa staring up at the majestic pride rock, shining in the sun. Green ivy climbed the walls, and small bushes littered the ground. I stared at the ledge, dreaming of being up there one day. No cub was allowed up at the ledge, they might fall off. But when I was king I could go up there all I wanted, all the time!

But it wasn’t possible. I tried to make Papa proud, but he only sees Mufasa. Why? Why is he better than me? Is it just because he’s stronger than me? Kings need brains too! I just don’t understand.

All these thoughts whirled through my head as I approached pride rock. I suddenly stopped as I heard a familiar voice.

“Taka?”

I looked ahead, filled with joy, to see a light tan cub. Sarafina. Her teal eyes shined in the sun.

I ran towards her, all my burdens seeming to disappear. But, of course, something bad happened. Bad things always seem to happen to me. A tan tail ran past me, and I could see a gleam of blue. Baridi! I gritted my teeth. He wasn’t going to bully Sarafina on my watch. But, as I got closer, to my surprise, he didn’t leap on her, or tackle her with his stinging words. He was….being kind to her?

“Hello, my name’s Baridi, what’s yours?”

“Oh, it’s Sarafina.”

“That’s a pretty name, it suits you.”

“R-really? thank you!”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew what he was doing; he was trying to get on my nerves. I bounded up beside Sarafina, facing Baridi.

“Leave her alone, Ice-heart,” I growled, my claws scraping the dirt. His eyes flashed, and he barely managed to hide a snarl. Sarafina looked at me in surprise.

“Taka? He seems very nice,” she said, a puzzled expression on her face.

“He tried to attack me!” I yowled, shaking. “He made fun of my name, like those other cubs!”

Baridi faked a face of confusement. “No I didn’t…” he said. I could see right through his act; his eyes gave him away. I growled in disgust.

“Liar!” I yowled, stepping forward so our muzzles almost touched. “You’re doing this to trick Sarafina! You just want me to suffer!” I looked down, sadness filling my soul. “…Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t,” he said simply, trying to cast a sympathetic look at me, but failed. I could see the truth in his eyes, ‘No one gets to ruffle my fur without paying for it!’ came into my mind. I realized he hated being roasted, and he wasn’t going to ever stop hating me.

“…Just forget it…” I muttered. Sarafina looked at me with concern.

“Do you want to go the river, Taka?” she whispered, her muzzle touching my ear.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. I can finally relax without Baridi ruining my life at every turn. “Yes Sarafina, I would like that.”



I settled down in a patch of flowers, the river running soothingly by. Sarafina joined me, resting her muzzle on my shoulder. The sweet scent of the flowers comforted me, along with Sarafina. Tiny butterflies flew around, searching for nectar. Their vibrant wings shone in the sunlight.

“Taka…” Sarafina whispered. I sighed, knowing what was coming. “Did Baridi really attack you?”

My pelt ruffled at the thought of him. “I don’t want to talk about him here; his name doesn’t deserve to be spoken at such a beautiful place.”

She paused, then said, “…okay.” She looked up at me. “Taka, did you make it up because you were jealous?”

I stiffened in shock. How could she?! I would never lie to her… “No! Stop talking about him!” I yowled. Sarafina stared in shock. I lowered my head, so it rested in the flowers. “I want to forget he ever existed…” Tears ran down my muzzle, landing on the lilac plants.


Sarafina sniffed, “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too…” her eyes started to tear up.

“No, no, it’s okay…” I licked her cheek. She rested her head on my shoulder again, and we sat there, in silence.



*****​



I started. As my vision cleared, I realized I must’ve fallen asleep. Sarafina slept at my side. I looked up to see emerald eyes piercing down at me. It was Mama.

“Ah, you’re awake, M’dear. Come on, we should head back to pride rock.”

I nudged Sarafina, who sleepily opened her teal yes.

“Come on, we gotta go.” I whispered.

She slowly got up, and we left the soothing river to make our way back to pride rock. The sun was now just setting, sending shining colors of red, orange, and yellow across the sky. I looked ay Mama taking long strides through the grass, and I suddenly felt very small compared to her.

“M’dears,” Mama said, “The cubs’ are over there; why don’t you go play for a bit?”

I glanced at them. Mufasa, Baridi, Zira, and Sarabi were huddled together, saying hushed whispers between themselves. I cocked my ears forward, trying to hear what they were saying. Mufasa suddenly saw me. His eyes widened.

“Taka! Sarafina! Get over here!” he yowled. The rest of the cubs stared at us.

Saradfina purred, and bounded over to them. “Taka, come on!” she yowled as she ran through the tall blades of grass.

I reluctantly followed. Baridi stared at me the whole way there. He suddenly padded up to Sarafina.

“Hey, do you want to go somewhere exciting!!” he said, affectionally head-butting her. I growled. She took a step back, and looked at him curiously.

“Where?”

His eyes gleamed. “To the gorge!” he exclaimed, his tail waving in delight.

“Yeah, we have it all planned!” Sarabi said, “We’re going to go when it’s dusk, and it is!”

I stood there, shocked. Mama had told me and Mufasa over and over NOT to go to the gorge! I looked at Mufasa, hoping he would disagree with them, but his eyes were just as bright as Baridi’s. I slowly shook my head, backing away. Sarafina glanced back at me.

Zira sneered. “You’re not a baby, are you, Taka? It’ll be fun!”

I stopped. “No!” I growled, my claws scraping the earth.

“Then aren’t you coming?”

I looked down. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t want to look like a coward. Sarafina might think I’m weak! Maybe it isn’t that bad, going to the gorge. I thought. We’re just going to look at it, after all.

“I’ll go.” I said firmly.

The rest of the cubs cheered. They each told me it was going to be fun, but I have this sense of dread…



*****




“There’s the gorge!!” Zira exclaimed.

We approached the cliff. I slowed down as I reached the edge. I stared down in shock. It must’ve been millions of paw-steps deep! I could barely make out the bottom. Fear clenched my heart, and I stood there, frozen.

“W-we should leave…” I managed to whisper. Sarafina backed away from the edge, nodding her head in agreement.

“What?! No! We just got here!” Zira exclaimed. She looked down in awe and excitement. “It’s so cool…”

“Yeah, Sarafina, just stay for a little bit,” Baridi said, “I’ll keep you safe.” He added.

I clenched my teeth. “If Sarafina stays, I’ll stay,” I said, “And I’ll keep her safe, not you."

"Yeah, yeah, enough of that," Zira said, still staring down at the gorge. "What's important is we need to decide if we're going down there or not."

I suddenly noticed how close Zira was to the edge. Her claws grasped the few last pieces of grass, and after that, nothing was keeping her from suddenly losing her balance and falling off.

“Zira…you should really get away from the edge,” I said nervously. She glanced back at me, grinning.

“Oh, stop worrying about me, you’ll make ‘Fina jealous.”

Suddenly, a loud snap sounded from the edge. Zira looked down at her paws. A long crack shot across the dirt, cutting around her. The ground wobbled dangerously where she stood.

“Zira!!” Baridi yowled, bounding towards her. He thrust forward, and grabbed her by the scuff. He threw her back towards us as one last crack completely broke the small piece of land away from the main. Baridi stood on that small piece of land.

He looked back at me, and for a second I saw pure fear in his ice-cold eyes.

“Help!!” he yowled as the ground crumbled, and he fell off the edge.
 

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Interesting turn of events. I like how you paint a picture of Taka's mental state. It really helps to show how he could go from a cub like any other to the infamous Scar.

You did a much better job differentiating his thoughts from the story text, too! It was much easier to read that way. Good job. :) I'm looking forward to the next one!
 

Storm_Echo

Gamer of Videos
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Location
Ethereal Plane
Oh no! Baridi! This one formed a very nice image in my mind. Flowers, dust, water. I liked adding the smell and sound descriptors here and there, maybe you could go even slightly more specific? For instance, take the "sweet scent of the flowers" and upgrade it to "the honey-sweet scent of lilac", those small details can really bring the reader right in the middle of a situation by letting us place ourselves using our own experiences. Of course, spending too much time on description wouldn't leave space for story, so it's best to use the detailed descriptors only when they would really contribute.

Overall I'm liking it, can't wait for the next chapter!!
 

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
Oh no! Baridi! This one formed a very nice image in my mind. Flowers, dust, water. I liked adding the smell and sound descriptors here and there, maybe you could go even slightly more specific? For instance, take the "sweet scent of the flowers" and upgrade it to "the honey-sweet scent of lilac", those small details can really bring the reader right in the middle of a situation by letting us place ourselves using our own experiences. Of course, spending too much time on description wouldn't leave space for story, so it's best to use the detailed descriptors only when they would really contribute.

Overall I'm liking it, can't wait for the next chapter!!

Will do! I do try to make it descriptive, but I still have a lot to learn about describing things in stories. I will try to make it as good as I can! This story is a really good way to learn how to write well, and any tips you have are greatly appreciated. I am glad you are enjoying it! :)

I will probably post the next chapter tonight or tomorrow sometime.
 

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
(Sorry for taking so long, had a bit of the writers block. Enjoy! @Azure Sage @Storm_Echo @Dizzi )

Chapter Four:

I ran up to the ledge, staring down. Our eyes locked with each other. I could see the pain, the terror, pulsing through him. He hung for dear life, his claws scrabbling at the rocks to get a grip. I saw him struggling, but I just stared. Some inner evil took glee inside me watching him be in pain and fear. I knew it was wrong, but…I couldn’t help it. To see him, the one who mocked me and deliberately tried to win Sarafina away from me, break down, and beg for help, was…..I don’t know….it just felt good.

“What the heck are you doing, Taka?!” Zira screamed while slamming into me, making me come back to reality. “It’s going to be alright, Baridi, just hold on!” she yowled, her amber eyes tearing up.

“I-I can’t…” Tears streamed down Baridi’s face, dropping down a seemingly endless pit.

Zira lowered and reached down with her paw. “Grab it!” she screeched. He looked up at her, and pulled himself closer, grunting with effort. His back feet scrabbled on the rocks, sending small pebbles flying down into the gorge. He managed to swing his paw into hers, but doing so, lost his grip on the cliff.

“AAAAGGGHHH!!!” Zira yowled as she fell forward, bearing all of Baridi’s weight. She shook with tension. Gritting her teeth, she tried unsuccessfully to pull him up, only to slip closer to the edge.

“Mufasa, Sarabi, help me!!” she cried out.

I watched numbly as Sarabi, Mufasa, and Sarafina grabbed hold of Zira, trying to pull her and Baridi up. Sarafina casted me a look of disgust. I looked down in shame, but, still, I just couldn’t bring myself to try to rescue the one I hated.

What is wrong with me?!

I peered down and saw Baridi stare at Zira. He choked with tears, but finally managed to sputter out a few words.

“Let me go.”

Zira’s jaw dropped. “What?! Are you crazy? No!”

“You’re going to fall with me if you keep holding on. Let me go!” he cried.

Zira’s eyes flared with determination.

“NO!” she yowled as she pulled him with all her might.

Slowly, they managed to bring them both to the top of the gorge. Baridi collapsed on the ground, panting. He hung his head in exhaustion, his claws clawing tight on the ground. He finally lifted his head and stared at me. His ice-cold stare held a million words. Anger. Disgust. Hate.

I knew he already hated me, and this just made it worse. I knew, for a fact, that we were going to be enemies forever after this. While Sarafina checked them for any wounds, she finally looked up at me with tears in her eyes, and said, “Why, Taka? Why? Why did you just stare at him, and not rescue him?”

All eyes were on me. My pelt grew hot with shame, as I realized I didn’t know.

“I-I….” I looked down. “I don’t know…”

“He hates me for no reason, that’s why!!” Baridi spoke up, glaring at me. “He just said it himself!”

“No!” I yowled, “I-I….”

But before any other cub could say anything else, a yowl rang out in the night sky, and four lions emerged from the deep green bushes. Hundreds of fireflies flew off the bushes, illuminating the sky with their golden, flickering light.

“What are you cubs doing here?!” Papa growled. He glared especially at my brother.

Silence. Finally, Sarafina slowly padded up to the lions. She looked up at Papa, her pelt ruffled with apprehension. “U-umm…we j-just wanted t-to check out th-the gorge, sir….”

Papa strode past her, a frown on his face. I flinched, thinking he was coming to me, but he walked right past me, his tail waving in my face as he past.

“Mufasa,” he growled, stopping in front of my brother. “I thought I could trust you! I thought you were smarter than this!” Papa’s lips drew to a snarl, showing his sharp teeth. “You endangered your brother and playmates! I am ashamed of you.”

Mufasa lowered himself into the grass, sending out whimpers. “I-I…” his eyes teared up, “I-I thought it would be c-cool…”

“Cool to what?” Papa yowled. “Cool to fall off the gorge?! Cool to die?!”

“Ahadi, please,” Mama said, striding up beside him. “He’s just a cub.”

“That’s why he needs to learn not to go to the gorge! You’ve already told him more than once, but he went anyway.” Papa shot back. “Cubs, come with us, you need to be taught a lesson.”



*****


I lowered my head onto my paws, sighing. After having a very long lecture, Papa told us we couldn’t leave pride rock for a week! So here we were, stuck, for what seemed like forever.

This is all Baridi’s fault. If he never came here, we would’ve never got in this mess. My tail swished back and forth with frustration.

I laid in the darkest corner of the cave, sulking. Sarabi and Sarafina were talking to the side, and the others were right in the middle. Sarafina hadn’t talked to me since the gorge, and I knew why. I looked at her, trying to make eye contact, but she quickly turned her head away.

I let out a quiet growl of frustration. Clenching my teeth, I glared at Baridi. None of this would’ve happened if you didn’t exist. He stared right back at me with those ice-cold eyes. His expression was pure hatred, and I’m sure my gaze was the same.

Suddenly he stood up, and padded towards Papa, who was resting by the entrance to the cave. I saw them exchange words, and then both padded outside. My eyes narrowed. What would Baridi want with Papa?

I waited for them to reappear, anxiety clenching my chest. I knew he was talking about his fall, and would probably exaggerate what I did. Or, should I say, what I didn’t do. I let my claws scrape the stone automatically, sending out a deafening sound. Sarafina gasped in surprise and jerked her head my way. The lionesses also glanced at me. I quickly looked away, embarrassed.

“TAKA!!!”

I yelped and jumped in fright at the sudden yowl. Shaking, I turned to the entrance, gulping in fear. Papa didn’t sound too happy.

“You get in here this instant!!”

I slowly padded to the entrance. I glanced back and saw Sarafina staring at me with a worried expression. My heart leaped. She finally cares about me! But her teal eyes widened and she quickly turned away.

I turned back to go outside, and Baridi brushed past me. He eyed me, then broke into a grin, an evil, cunning grin. My pelt ruffled, I marched on ahead. I’m not gonna look scared in front of Baridi!

As I marched outside, Papa’s glare made me shrink in fear. His amber eyes looked furious. I looked at the ground, not being able to make eye contact anymore. Why did Baridi have to tell him?

“Taka.”

I gulped, and looked up at Papa. “Y-yes?”

His claws sliced the ground. “How could you do such a thing?! I am horrified at what you did!” his eyes flashed. “No lion should have done such a thing as you did.”

I shifted on my paws. Baridi was alright, why was it so important? I was just stuck in shock, right? I glanced down. No, I wasn’t. I’m evil, I let him almost fall, I could’ve been responsible for his death. But…why would his death be that bad? He hurt me after all.

I quickly shook my head at the thought. How could I be so heartless? But at the same time, he did hurt me…

“NO!” I yowled. Papa jumped in shock, his eyes wide. Tears streamed down my muzzle. “I-I don’t want to be like this…”

“Taka…”

I looked up at him. Tear droplets dripping off my muzzle and landing on the hard stone floor.

“Why did you push Baridi off the cliff?”
 
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Storm_Echo

Gamer of Videos
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LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!

Interesting plot twist, I guess we shouldn't be surprised! Gotta make Taka turn from being a sad little lion into an evil mastermind somehow!

Keep up the good work :)
 

Echolight

❤️ love yourself ❤️
ZD Champion
You're doing a great job at making Taka's life miserable, haha. I always prefer happy stories, but it can be interesting to read stuff like this from time to time where the main character's development takes a negative turn. You're doing a great job at twisting such a tale. :)

I warned you this was going to be sad lol but there still are some happy parts

I'm so happy you like it! :)
 

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