Zelda Art Spirit Tracks Abridged

[Zelda64]

Spirit Tracks: Abridged

Chapter 1
It was the day of Link’s final engineering exam. It was a few minutes before Link had to leave that he was hearing the legend of his great grandfather told by his old uncle, Nico.
Niko: And that was when…hey! I said no sleeping during the story!
Link: *wakes up* Ugh…but your story was boring! I like the one where the pirate girl turns into the hot princess.
Niko: The one where I gave your great grandfather a gift for going through an obstacle course? Yeah, I like that one better too. But the one with the cowardly ship captain is funnier to tell because he is a coward!
Link: But it is soooo boring! I mean, what is the big deal with a stupid hourglass that kept you alive in a temple that didn’t exist!
Niko: That’s the same question I asked you I mean your great grandfather.
Alfonzo: *bursts in* Link! It’s time to go!
Link: Ok I’ll be there in a second.
Niko: *after Alfonzo leaves* Link, since I’m so randomly giving out presents, here is a sword. *hands a sword to Link*
Link: Thanks old man. *leaves*
Niko: *as Link is leaving* THE NAME IS NIKO!!!
*Later on the tracks*
Alfonzo: Link! Go backwards or else we’ll crash!
Link: Going backwards…hey we’re at Hyrule Castle Town! See ya at the ceremony Alf!
Alfonzo: That kid has a nickname for everyone I swear he does.
Later at the ceremony
Zelda: I now declare this young gentleman a Royal Engineer!
Chancellor Cole: Hmm…he looks kinda cute.
Zelda: What did I tell you about being gay in public?
Cole: Not to do it?
Zelda: Yes. So don’t do it.
Link: Now can I marry you?
Zelda: No…but I want to see you in my room.
Link: Ok.
After sneaking into Zelda’s room
Zelda: Link there is a problem.
Link: What would that be? Do you need me with you at all times?
Zelda: No you perv the tracks are disappearing!
Link: And if all of them disappear?
Zelda: Something bad happens. So I need you to help me sneak out of the castle to your train.
Link: Where will we go?
Zelda: The tower that you probably saw on the way here.
Link: What? I didn’t see a tower.
Zelda: Right…anyways let’s go.
After easily sneaking to the courtyard…
Link: What do we do now?
Zelda: Change into these clothes. I won’t look.
After Link changed…
Zelda: Now go talk to him while I sneak by.
Link: Hey other recruit! What’s up?
Recruit: Umm nothing. Don’t tell anyone, but I think the princess is ugly.
Link: *Gets pissed off* Well you know what I think?
[Censored]
Link: *goes over to Zelda* Did you see that?
Zelda: Yes. You didn’t have to kill him and cut his heart open.
Link: Oh…ok.*feels ashamed of himself*
Zelda: For this guard throw a rock where he isn’t looking then sneak out of the courtyard with me.
At the train station
Alfonzo: WHAAAAT?! The tracks are disappearing? Well, that explains why the tracks are gone now.
Zelda: Great, that means we’ll have to go on foot.
Later on Hyrule Field
Link: We’re almost there…
Cole: *appears* Not so fast cute boy! My assistant and I have broken the tower!
Zelda: * sees the tower broken* Why didn’t I see earlier?
Alfonzo: AHH! It’s the gay person! Run away! *Faints*
Byrne: Ugh…Cole I think you’re the sidekick.
Cole: Yeah…you’re right. Anyways, you’re just the person I was looking for Zelda. *shoots lighting at Zelda and gets her soul out of her body*
Zelda: My body!
Cole: So long, suckers! *Disappears*

 

[onebizarrekai]

Lol, this is funny. Good job, Zelda64!

 

[VembersWind]

this is pretty good, keep it up!

 

[Zelda's_Child]

LOL! That is awesomeness!!!!!!!

 

[LozzyKate]

This is humorous and well-written. You're definitely going to keep your readers entertained it you keep this up. Good job!

 

[Beeker]

I love abridges, and this one looks good so far. Keep it up!

 

[@lex MM]

Really funny,althrough I haven't played Spirit Tracks........

 

[Zelda64]

Oh this is nothing like the game at some points...I never exepected good views. This is the next chapter. It can be random and...if you like Sonic don't be offeneded. You'll see what I mean.
Chapter 2: The Spirit Tower

Link: What can we do? We’re totally hopeless.
Zelda: I think we should head to the Spirit Tower and ask the person there for help.
Link: Whatever you say, Zelda.
Later at the Spirit Tower
Link: Hey old woman, Zelda just got her body taken away from her by a random person and we need to know if you can help us.
Anjean: I know how to solve your problem but you need to learn some backstory first. This is a tale from long ago. It's the tale of the first settlers of this land.
In the beginning, the people followed the spirits of good and all was peaceful.

But that era of peace soon came to an end.
The evil Demon King rose to power, destroying everything in his path.

The spirits of good has no choice but to face him in battle.
The war that ensued seemed to last an eternity and much blood was shed.
Finally the spirits subdued the Demon King, though they could not destroy him.
Their powers were greatly depleted.

With their remaining power, they buried the Demon King's spirit in the ground.
They built shackles to imprison him, and a tower that acted as a lock.
These shackles cover the land to this day.

With their power drained, the spirits of good returned to the heavens.
Suddenly bereft of both demons and spirits, this land was entrusted to us.
Zelda: And of course, Link is sleeping
Link: *wakes up* That was quite boring...
Anjean: Zelda weren’t you supposed to-
Mystery Person: Quiet Anjean! This isn’t the original game! *Disappears*
Anjean: Right...here’s the Spirit Flute. *hands Link the Spirit Flute*
After a bunch of useless crap
Link: See ya up the stairs Zelda!
Later at the first level of the Spirit Tower
Link: Zelda, cry.
Zelda: Why?
Link: So I can get the tears of light.
Zelda: You idiot they’re in different spots on this floor.
Link: What about those guys in armor?
Phantom: We’ll give you a piggyback to them if you want to release the Demon King.
Link: Well since you were distracted talking to Zelda I got the tears of light...I will stab you in the back. *stabs Phantom in the back*
*Zelda enters Phantom*
Zelda: Link where are you?
Link: *comes sliding in* I got the railroad map for the forest
Zelda: Where did you get Sonic’s shoes?
Link: About that...we gotta run.
Sonic: Get back Link!
Zelda: I take care of this.
[Censored]
Link: You...chopped off his head.
Zelda: I was aiming for his hand.
Link: Like in Star Wars?
Zelda: Link where did you see Star Wars?
Link: Somewhere....

 

[Zelda64]

Chapter 2

Oh this is nothing like the game at some points...I never exepected good views. This is the next chapter. It can be random and...if you like Sonic don't be offeneded. You'll see what I mean.
Chapter 2: The Spirit Tower

Link: What can we do? We’re totally hopeless.
Zelda: I think we should head to the Spirit Tower and ask the person there for help.
Link: Whatever you say, Zelda.
Later at the Spirit Tower
Link: Hey old woman, Zelda just got her body taken away from her by a random person and we need to know if you can help us.
Anjean: I know how to solve your problem but you need to learn some backstory first. This is a tale from long ago. It's the tale of the first settlers of this land.
In the beginning, the people followed the spirits of good and all was peaceful.

But that era of peace soon came to an end.
The evil Demon King rose to power, destroying everything in his path.

The spirits of good has no choice but to face him in battle.
The war that ensued seemed to last an eternity and much blood was shed.
Finally the spirits subdued the Demon King, though they could not destroy him.
Their powers were greatly depleted.

With their remaining power, they buried the Demon King's spirit in the ground.
They built shackles to imprison him, and a tower that acted as a lock.
These shackles cover the land to this day.

With their power drained, the spirits of good returned to the heavens.
Suddenly bereft of both demons and spirits, this land was entrusted to us.
Zelda: And of course, Link is sleeping
Link: *wakes up* That was quite boring...
Anjean: Zelda weren’t you supposed to-
Mystery Person: Quiet Anjean! This isn’t the original game! *Disappears*
Anjean: Right...here’s the Spirit Flute. *hands Link the Spirit Flute*
After a bunch of useless crap
Link: See ya up the stairs Zelda!
Later at the first level of the Spirit Tower
Link: Zelda, cry.
Zelda: Why?
Link: So I can get the tears of light.
Zelda: You idiot they’re in different spots on this floor.
Link: What about those guys in armor?
Phantom: We’ll give you a piggyback to them if you want to release the Demon King.
Link: Well since you were distracted talking to Zelda I got the tears of light...I will stab you in the back. *stabs Phantom in the back*
*Zelda enters Phantom*
Zelda: Link where are you?
Link: *comes sliding in* I got the railroad map for the forest
Zelda: Where did you get Sonic’s shoes?
Link: About that...we gotta run.
Sonic: Get back Link!
Zelda: I take care of this.
[Censored]
Link: You...chopped off his head.
Zelda: I was aiming for his hand.
Link: Like in Star Wars?
Zelda: Link where did you see Star Wars?
Link: Somewhere....

 

[Zelda64]

Ah! I posted Chapter 2 2 times!