Hm...... Tough.........
I'd grab my red Nerf longsword from my closet and my baseball bat that's in there, too. I'd steal an awesome utility belt and use it to carry my sword and bat, then I'd get my .22 from wherever it is in my house, and then I'd go kill some zombies as I flee to Japan to play Japanese Video Games with Cel-Shaded Deku. Oh yeah, I'd also bring AWM. My robot magnetized to all ceilings and emits waffles from his stomach and spits toppings such as whipped cream. BEST. APOCALYPSE. EVER.