Rise of Darkness

[Myriadviper42]

This is a Zelda story I'm making. It is set a year or so after the events of Wind Waker. WW and PH characters will be in it, as well as submitted characters. If you want to submit a character, send me a private message. NOTICE: rated PG-13 for blood, violence, and mild language. I will post the prolouge soon.

 

[Myriadviper42]

Here's the prolouge.
Prolouge
Outset Island was a peaceful place.They survived even without contact from other islands. But sometimes it got a bit boring, being stuck on a tiny island in the ocean. Or, at least, that's what Aryll thought. At first, before her brother went on his great adventure, she was happy living on an island with a limited amount of things to do. But after she was held captive in the Forsaken Fortress, she realized that there were many more things to do in the world. After her brother left to explore new oceans, she'd tried to find more exciting things to do on the island, since she was twelve, and her grandma didn't want her sailing off to run straight into monsters.

Neither did Aryll, though she was still bored. She decided to visit Orca, the islands swordsman. . She hoped he could teach her some swordplay. She opened the door and went into the house. At the moment, Orca was spinning around in circles, doing the hurricane spin. Link had generously given him ten Knight's Crests. His body kept spinning around until CLANG-CRASH! Orca's sword had hit the wall and flung off it, and Orca hit the wall too, for good measure.

He got up a little dizzily, and a voice was heard from above. "WOULD YOU BE QUIET? I'M TRYING TO STUDY AND YOUR RACKET IS PREVENTING ME FROM DOING THAT! CAN'T A PERSON SLEEP IN THIS DAM'N PLACE?" Orca rolled his eyes. "Same old brother," he muttered. His brother, Sturgeon, was a brilliant mind at things, though he hated loud noises. Legends said he was once a swordsman himself. He sure didn't act like one now.

Then he noticed Aryll. "Hi, young one. What have you been doing?" Aryll said, "Nothing, really. It's getting to the point where everything is boring. Could you teach me some swordplay?" Orca thought it over. "Well you are twelve, the same as your brother when he first learned to use the sword, so maybe," he mused. "Actually, go ahead! But let's go outside and do it. We don't want Sturgeon getting a headache from screaming his head off." Aryll giggled.

They went outside and found that there was strange sight out. A black symbol glowed in the air. Three upside-down triangles, in the black color. Rose, an animal lover shouted, "It must be Ganon! He's returned!" Orca shook his head. "Ganon couldn't have returned, he's dead. Perhaps its one of his minions." It was at that precise moment that Aryll vanished into thin air.

For some reason, when she woke up, she was still on the island, just a different part. The symbol still glowed in the sky. She realized she was on the bridge to the forest, which had been successfully restored. There was someone else on the bridge, someone familiar.... "Brother?" she said. He was holding the Master Sword. Wait, that couldn't be right. The Master Sword was in Hyrule. "I am not a brother," he said, not turning around. His voice sounded tripled, like if there were two Links talking behind him. "I'm the shadows, darkness, everything you fear." Aryll took a step back. What was wrong with him? He turned around, and his eyes were red. He charged at Aryll. Even if she'd seen what was coming, she wouldn't have been able to avoid the blow. The shadow Master Sword's hilt hit her in the head and Aryll fell off the bridge, into the ocean below.
(end of prolouge)

 

[*M i d n a*]

At your request I am here, giving you some insight. So the story is not all bad, maybe a few corrections here and there. How old are you, Myriad? 12 or something? Not bad for a youngster such as yourself. But, you will get better if you continue writing. Trust me, this was me when I started. I liked what happened to Aryll, lol, I can picture her getting whacked in the head and then falling off the bridge.

Although this story needs a bit of description and perhaps better sentence structuring, I can still read it and picture it since I know what the characters look like. Good job.

 

[Myriadviper42]

Thanks. Chapter 1 will be a lot more descriptive, and fyi, my age I don't really like putting on websites, I was born in a family that tells me "Don't reveal private information to people on the internet unless you know them in person." lol. Of course, I'm the obidient kind. Chapter 1 will be up tomorrow.

 

[Myriadviper42]

Chapter 1's here.
Chapter 1: Return of the Ghost Ship
The storm near the areas of Windfall Island was a terrible one. It destroyed ships and wrecked houses (though Windfall was lucky, the only thing damaged was the docks). The Rito postman had quite of trouble delivering the mail. "I can't believe I have to deliver letters in this weather!" said the Rito, named Orthix.
Orthix looked like most Rito, with a beak, brown feathers, and brown eyes. But he was different from the other Rito because the feathers on his head (usually white) were black. This had seperated him from the other Ritos, he had been known as the "Shadow Rito." He had become a Bounty Hunter, tracking down opponents. Then he settled down and moved back to Dragon Roost, where he became a postman, like most Rito.
(chapter continues)

 

[Myriadviper42]

Sorry, my brother wanted a turn on the computer. Anyway, here's the rest of Chapter 1.

He landed on the small beach near the town, and rested for a minute. He then walked up to the postbox, carrying several letters. He inserted the letters, and the postbox replied, "Thank you very much!" Orthix didn't understand how the postbox could talk at all. Perhaps it was enchanted. His job finally done, Orthix realized he was thirsty. He decided to go up to the bar to be refreshed.
When he got there, there was only one other customer there. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin. He was a Hylian, though a buff one. Orthix didn't understand Hylians. The fought over things that, in Rito opinion, is nothing worth fighting over. But that meant no disrespect to the race, either. "So you're a Rito," the man said. Orthix nodded. "My name's Xeld. I'm a woodcarver. I live here, but me and my, errr, occompliance need to go to the forset on Outset Island because we need more wood to carve then here on Windfall. What's your name?" "Orthix." "Nice name. What are you doing here?"
The Rito shrugged his shoulders. "Just to deliver the mail." "Why don't you stay the night? It must have been tiring to fly through this storm from Dragon Roost." Orthix nodded, but he said, "The Rito chief wants me back by tonight." Xeld was about to say something else when his waiter brought him his food; fresh trout. "Nice talking to you," Xeld said and started eating his food.
Afterwards, Orthix decided to leave. He didn't want the chief getting mad again because of some storm delaying him(which had happened three times before). He took off, and a gust of wind sent him spinning in the wrong direction. Then for some reason, the Rito felt a sense of uneasiness, like a creature was about to jump out of the fog.
It started with the blue lights. At first, Orthix paid no attention to it. Ritos were trained on the job for no distractions while delivering the mail. But when the wind pushed him closer, Orthix saw the ghastly form of a ship. "The Ghost Ship?" he asked, to no one but himself. It was, of course, the Ghost Ship. Orthix had heard of it, of course, but it had vanished after Link had found the chart inside. Now it was back. And Orthix wasn't sure what to do.

(chapter continues)

 

[Myriadviper42]

Then after his moment of shock, Orthix realized something else. There was a humanoid creature on the bow; purple, with a cape flying in the wind. Then Orthix noticed a much speedier and smaller ship speeding towards it. Both ships fired cannons at each other, neither being damaged too much.
Orthix forgot where he was for a moment, and in that moment, the purple creature shot an energy ball at him. It hit him in the wing, causing him to spiral down into the smaller ship. He landed on the small deck, and was briefly aware of a figure standing over him. Then he passed out.
(end of chapter)
Tell me how good i did, please.

 

[Myriadviper42]

Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Twin Evil
As Orthix fainted, the reptilian creature was pacing the bow of the Ghost Ship. His name was Pervus, and he was a human/monster hybrid, and was very powerful. "Grrrrrr, the ship escaped!" he said in a gravelly tone. There was another person standing on the deck, a female this time. "But isn't that your fault, you are the one who supplies those idiotic Moblins who patrol the cannons," said the girl, whos name was Hazel. Hazel had black hair and a black robe, and had various weapons at her disposal.

Hazel said, "Did you contact Dark Link yet?" Pervus looked at her and slapped her with his reptilian hand. "What do you think, my friend? I'm not dumb!" Hazel simply stared at him. "Do you think that kind of treatment will make me want to keep on this side? And no, you're not dumb, I was just making sure." Pervus said, "What about the other ship; the one with the Rito?"
Hazel looked at him slyly. "They can be.... taken care of."

***
Dark Link was celebrating. Outset Island was terrified, and his boss reported that everything was fine at sea. He was standing on water, a strange thing, but he could do it. His eyes were scanning for a girl he'd pushed into the water on Outset. He didn't believe Aryll was dead. Before his search could be completed, a small patch of fog came to him, which Dark Link knew was a signal for a message.

He came closer and Hazel's face appeared in the fog. "Dark Link, we have a new assignment for you. A Rito and a Hylian are the targets. They're by Southern Fairy Island. Report there immediately." Dark Link didn't know whether he should say "Yes sir," or "Yes mam," so he kept his mouth shut, but in his mind, he was laughing maniacally at the prospect of blood. He nodded. "I will report there immediately." Hazel looked through the fog into the water and said, "She's not dead, is she, Aryll?"

Dark Link shook his head. Then, as Hazel stared at him. "No," he said. "But she will be, along with these new targets." Without another word, the Dark Link vanished, leaving a trail of troubled water in his wake.
(end of chapter. sorry for the short chapter, I just wanted to have the two conversations between the bad guys, Chapter 3 will be longer.)