Remembering an Old Friendship

[Killjoy262]

For the past 4(maybe 5?) days, I've had a friendship that, 'came to an abrupt halt', seems a bit stretched, come flooding back into my mind... And, I've been an emotional train wreck. The story is:
2004 - 2006 I had fought cancer thrice over, and near the end of my third fight, I joined a Zelda forums under the username 'LinkandZelda', that's long since shut down, called 'Talk Zelda' and made a friend there, Satsuki. Our friendship hit it off relatively fast. A little later, late 2007? 2009? I was fully cleared to be able to chose between finishing school either at home, or on campus for a high school diploma(I chose the later because I wanted to at least work on getting back into a normal life. Well, I drifted away from forums and forgot about TZ, and even ZD until around 2016(probably a bit sooner since this was the only site left that I remembered having an account on). August of 2016, I mentioned this in the SB and someone directed me to Zelda Universe, where my friend Satsuki has an account that's been untouched for a little over half a decade before I joined there.

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text to start this off. Has anyone else here had a friendship come to an abrupt haul for no reason other than life to come back to your memories? Were you able to reconnect? If not, how do you cope?

(Note to the Mod/Admin Team: If this is the wrong section, my apologies)
Edit: Forgot to mention my username on TZ(LinkandZelda)
Edit 2: Realized I forgot to finish of the first sentence

 

[Dizzi]

hmm yea theres beena few... wher theyve drifted away and youre like i wonder what happened to them???

 

[Guinea]

I met one of my best friends on ZU back in 2016, still talk to him here and there on Discord. All the friends I met on Facebook though... we don't talk anymore.

 

[Mikey the Gengar]

yeah, one of my friends literally walked away from me in middle school while I was talking to him (about pokemon) and we kind of stopped talking after that
I interacted with him maybe 3 or 4 times until graduation, and when I moved to utah he gave me a lovely letter that I still have

I definitely have friends that I don't reach out to often, but that's just because I'm the kind of person that keeps to myself
There is someone who was in my life and is no longer- I celebrated their birthday last month by myself, I guess you could call that a way to cope

that's pretty much it

 

[hctitS]

The most frightening thing about this world is that any given moment with someone could be your last, not even because of some great tragedy or change, but that you just happened to no longer walk in step one day. There are people I once held close, but can no longer recall their face, voice, and/or name and there isn't really a reason that has happened. Lives move in many directions, I consider the intersections special, no matter how brief.

 

[mαrkαsscoρ]

I had a pretty close friend from late elementary all the way until high school, we were in contact for a bit shortly after but then one day he just simply stopped responding to my messages

I guess some people just aren't meant to be in your life, like if you mattered to them as much then they probably wouldn't have let the friendship fizzle out, and as a small upside I still maintain a friendship w/ two other friends from elementary school

 

[Daku Rinku]

I have experianced this a great deal. I have come to the conclusion people are in your life for seasons, and then that season ends. There are exceptions of course, those life long friendships, and those you should treasure; cherish them dearly.

The reason I think some friendships are transient is they were formed over an interest you may fall out of, or in case of parents it was over their kids that their friendship formed and then when the kids are gone, the glue that held the bonds dissolves.

On the internet its microwaved, people can move on a lot easier than in real life, because the fear of breaking ties, “its me, not you,” is not there. Then there is ghosting.. that one is perhaps the most painful, I’d prefer a good row and severence over going Amish Shunning or like in Japan when they treat a coworker who bungled a project as if they are dead. Ghosting feels easier, but in psychology one of the harshest methods of communication is to not respond, to pretend that person does not exist. Albiet there are times ghosting is necessary as in the case of cyberstalkers, I had one on a forum.. and I had to use ghosting and blocking.

I always hope a relationship will last, but in my own family there has been severances, and if “blood is thicker than water,” than I feel pessimistic sometimes about friendships surviving…

 

[Killjoy262]

On the internet its microwaved, people can move on a lot easier than in real life, because the fear of breaking ties, “its me, not you,” is not there. Then there is ghosting.. that one is perhaps the most painful, I’d prefer a good row and severence over going Amish Shunning or like in Japan when they treat a coworker who bungled a project as if they are dead. Ghosting feels easier, but in psychology one of the harshest methods of communication is to not respond, to pretend that person does not exist. Albiet there are times ghosting is necessary as in the case of cyberstalkers, I had one on a forum.. and I had to use ghosting and blocking.

This the bold/italic is what's got me emotionally hurting. I personally feel guilty for the friendship abruptly halting even though I know that it wasn't, intentional I want to say?

 

[Daku Rinku]

This the bold/italic is what's got me emotionally hurting. I personally feel guilty for the friendship abruptly halting even though I know that it wasn't, intentional I want to say?

That is hard, I got ghosted by my closest nephew.. we were best buds and out of nowhere, it was over.

I have had some recent ones go that way online.. I really miss two people that I was close to on ZD.

 

[Killjoy262]

That is hard, I got ghosted by my closest nephew.. we were best buds and out of nowhere, it was over.

I have had some recent ones go that way online.. I really miss two people that I was close to on ZD.

idk, it wasn't technically a ghosting on either side. Like I said in the OP, I was getting back into getting a sense of normality in life and just forgot about some sites. It's just in the back of my head that's what I'm telling myself despite knowing the truth. Like the Bokoblin is there whispering "It's your fault you lost contact."

 

[Daku Rinku]

idk, it wasn't technically a ghosting on either side. Like I said in the OP, I was getting back into getting a sense of normality in life and just forgot about some sites. It's just in the back of my head that's what I'm telling myself despite knowing the truth. Like the Bokoblin is there whispering "It's your fault you lost contact."

Did they not have an email tied to the ZU account you could message or a Discord?

 

[Killjoy262]

If Satsuki did, I have no way of seeing any of it.

 

[Daku Rinku]

If Satsuki did, I have no way of seeing any of it.

I’d keep asking if anyone does know how to contact them. Someone might on ZU still be in contact with them.

Then there is the hope they may log in again one day. Some people take long breaks from forums and return.

 

[A Link In Time]

My most recent experience with this is with someone named Konrad who I met at university orientation in 2013. I was friends with him for 2 years until 2015 when he switched universities.

We then reconnected last year and saw Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny together. We talked for about 2 months again, and I wished him a Happy New Year, and he wished me one back, but we haven't talked again for 6 months. I've been wanting to send him a message again, and I suppose this thread has finally given me the motivation to try to make more regular contact.

I think having more adult responsibilities makes it harder to keep in contact with friends regularly, but I'm thankful for modern technology for making that more convenient although nothing beats a face to face meeting.

 

[Maniacal Ezlo]

I definitely feel like the majority of my friendships have diminished or downright disappeared over time. For most, I can't even pinpoint an exact moment when we stopped talking, it just seems to gradually happen as the people fade away.

I absolutely appreciate the feeling of remembering old friendships that had all but disappeared. I don't talk to any of my high school friends anymore (though, in some cases, there are strong reasons for that), heck even people I used to talk to frequently online have largely disappeared from my life. But I don't think there is a single friend I have ever forgotten about. I can recall almost every person I have been close to, which I suppose in a way makes it harder to cope with the distancing I have with them all. I have recently reached out to certain people I used to be close to, but I don't think any of those friendships I once had will ever be what they once were. I suppose I cope with it by remembering the good times we had and appreciating even more those few who have continued to stand by me over all these years.