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Poem Contest #1 Voting Thread

Which poems deserve to win?

  • Poem 1

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  • Poem 2

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  • Poem 3

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  • Poem 4

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  • Poem 5

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  • Poem 6

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  • Poem 7

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  • Poem 8

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  • Poem 9

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  • Poem 10

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  • Total voters
    0
  • Poll closed .
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*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
Gender
Entity
Hey, Zd, how is it going? Archangel once again bringing you the voting thread for the current running competition. This time around, you, as the voter, will be able to vote for two entries, but just once in each of the two categories presented. If you don't quite understand, all you have to do is vote for one of the first 5 entries (1-5), and then again once for the next 5 entries (6-10). If you vote twice or more in the same category, your vote will not count at all, so just use your two votes wisely. I decided to do it this way so I won't have to post two voting threads.

Well, you know me; I like to be brief with this, so here are the usual voting rules.

1. If you are supporting us with your vote, which indeed is necessary to choose a winner, please read all entries, don't just vote for a random one. (Take your time reading if you must, as the poll will be opened a week's length) Vote for the one you enjoyed reading the most. Thank you kindly for the support.

2. You can leave comments as to why you voted for that story/Poem, but it is not mandatory. However, know that a little feedback can help the writer become better.

3. Participants, you can vote, too, if you want, but you cannot vote for your own story. Also, please do not come and say which is your submitted piece. Note that you don't have to vote if you don't feel comfortable.

4. This poll will close on Saturday the 16th of August 2014.

5. Voters will get points for their support.

Up next is the hall of fame, which features the winners of the past rounds.

Archangel's Hall of Fame

BookTrophy.gif

Story Contest #1 Winner: FireVsIce
Story Contest #2 Winner: Mamono101
Story Contest #3 Winner: Naruko
Poem Contest #1: ???​

Good luck to all of you who were able to submit something, and thank you for participating. :yes: Of course, I like them all! :)

Here are the submissions for the Special Someone.​

Entry 1

I think about you every day and every night
Oh, it feels so right
Not having you by my side
Is a burden to which I will not abide
I know I may not be perfect
But my values I will not contradict

Entry 2 A Night in the Sun

I closed my locker on that day
To meet you walking out;
The day was o’er, night was to come
And send us quite a clout!
“Ordeals stop and go,” I said,
We simply laughed aloud,
When suddenly, you turned around,
And left me with the crowd.

The hushed voices of the crowd spoke:
Unproven rumors, true?
I, taken aback, by such news
The moment I saw you!
You stood there, proud, and in your stead,
The Prize, so fair, was yours!
I felt great joy, but from my eyes,
Rained torrential downpours.

The Night soon loomed above my head,
Before the day was o’er,
The joy I felt, in truth, was a
Facade; and nothing more.
In my inaction, you swooped in
And stole The Prize with ease!
The spur of time: so opportune,
For you, a curse for me!

Despite my shame, I see in you
A smile, a sun so bright,
Yet you are surely unaware
That you have won the fight.
So listen well, my fellowman,
As you move on ahead,
“Ordeals stop and go,” you know,
I’m proud of you, my friend!

Entry 3

For many days I have lived by your side.
Illumination covers my blushing bride.
How long shall light cascade down her dress,
While making me appear little more than a mess?
The sparkle in her expecting eyes.
The ring that will form our ties.
Thank you for giving me this blissful sight.

As the water glistens in the steady rain.
Or for the sweat that mixes into the natural drain.
Standing in this stream, I see a bow.
Its iridescence causes a lingering tow.
The further I walk,
The more I gawk.
Is this your doing?

Your presence permeates the dark.
For both the timid bug to the soaring lark.
I fear that I may be a small beagle,
Standing below a beautiful regal.
The sun revolves around your delicate face.
But I am mesmerized by your dainty grace.

I have known you for all my life,
In times of joy and those of strife.
Your arm extends those soft hands,
Unlike those of any other land.
“How do you fair?”
You say with great care.
“I'll be by your side.”
And that voice was my guide.

Now there are vows to be made on this day so bright.
I must admit that you have been my only light.
With an, “I do,” I soared like a kite.


Entry 4 To my Favorite Person

To my favorite Person:
You are awesome times amazing to the power of epic and so cool.
Your hugs fill me with more warmth and happiness than a delicious bowl of warm soup after a long hike in the frigid winter cold.
You are wonderful.
You are joy.
Every time I think you couldn’t possibly be any cooler than you already are, I find myself happily proven wrong.

The mere thought of you makes me grin like a loon. People probably think I must be crazy, lost in thought and smiling at my daydreams and memories so often.
Truth is, I am not crazy at all. That you are wonderful to me and give me peace is a fact of life.
Those people have it backwards, you see. You did not drive me mad, you made me sane again.
You saved me. You put me back together when my mind was falling apart.
I am sorry if the broken shards of my soul were sharp to touch, but that did not stop you. You saw something worthwhile and set about mending it.
Thank you.
Thank you for believing in me when I could not.
Knowing you, if you were to read this, you would probably insist that I have it all backwards. That it was I who helped you.
But please know that without you I could never be Magik.

Entry 5

From the solitude in which I was drowning
Your hand against my hand, was brushed,
And though I was doing nowt but pining,
All my fears, you quelled and crushed.

My cracks and flaws were plain to see
My curse: a broken brain,
But the support to me that you would be
Helped to keep me sane.

You've burrowed deep within my soul
You've listened without derision,
You're someone whom I can extol
And love without contrition.

And though life has both its ups and downs,
Throughout all its twists and turns,
To you I'll forfeit all my frowns,
As my joie de vivre returns.

And your Freebie submissions are below.​

Entry 6 Pinkie Pie Poem

You ask me what makes me who I am this year.
I am naught but a student, facing all of her fear.
I am almost insane, so you ask me “why?”
I think for a moment and here’s my reply:
“Because Friendship is Magic and I am Pinkie Pie.”

I do not know why, but I’ll tell you my tale.
All my troubles added up, causing my train to derail.
Everything that I feared has turned to be true.
On the outside I smile, on the inside I’m blue.
Because friendship is magic, and I’d hate to hurt you.

But my Pinkie Sense is bringing me down.
With all my fears coming true, I can’t help but frown.
Obsessed over worries, I am caught in a bind.
My brain is evil to me and so very unkind.
But Friendship is Magic. I must keep that in mind.

Two sides to a coin, depressed or insane.
Depressed is just awful, so I choose chocolate rain.
Laughter is the best medicine, or that’s what they say.
Just giggle at the ghosties and they’ll go away.
Friendship is magic, the best any day.

Entry 7

There's nothing on the inside
But a hollow, empty void,
And for every tear that I have cried,
There are those I wish destroyed.

Upon my enemies, to inflict pain
Was what my heart desired,
Their taunts, my head could not contain
And thus my hate was sired.

I want for them to know my pain
And the hatred that consumes me,
But they trivialise all that I claim
Not realising how they've doomed me.

That this hurt can finally dissipate
As my consciousness doth fade,
'Twas all that did precipitate
The decision that I have made.

As my metal friend upon my wrist
Severs my Earthly ties,
With the knowledge that I shan't be missed,
I depart, with no goodbyes.

Entry 8 Fire

The flick ‘ring fire, unrelenting, quenches the air, the wind, the thing-
The thing that stirs forevermore inside the fire’s secret core:
It burns and churns and turns with ease, as sky and flowing waters cease
To move the flagrant fire’s resolve- the opposition then dissolves.

Suddenly, as sudden urges, gallant warrior emerges,
Fiery sword in one hand blazes, shield in other never fazes.
Visage of honor and duty: “Lead us on to greater beauty,
Of the power of that fire, eradicating here: the mire!”

Entry 9

The artist,
To you,
Is but a humble man.

Not always the smartest,
You may cry with a “whew,”
For he belongs to his own clan.

The painter,
With a brush,
Creates a new language of sight.

The writer,
With a pen,
Gives you a world without or without plight,

The musician,
With an instrument,
Releases emotion with no more than sound,

Have you seen true beauty?
Or known of bliss?
Cared for the small things always missed?

Sing the love you share with another.
Write them a poem with a gentle caress of a pencil.
Draw the memories to hang upon a wall.

But remember this,
And I mean this well,
Let it sit in whatever heart you my have:

The artist,
To you,
Is but a humble man.


Entry 10

I’m standing on the verge falling off the ground
Wish you were there to leave me safe and sound
Sorry for my folly
I can’t believe what I did, by golly!

It’s too late to right my wrongs.
It’s too late.
It’s too late to fight and remain strong.
It’s too late.

Here I am facing my crimes
They leave me more sour than lemon lime
Pondering my misfortunes
I realize my true destiny beckons!

It’s too late to right my wrongs.
It’s too late.
It’s too late to fight and remain strong.
It’s too late.
 

Magatha

Magatha
Joined
Aug 15, 2010
Location
Somewhere with wireless internet...
Well, having been in an actual poetry slam before, I feel obliged to give everyone comments and/or constructive criticism.

But two of the poems are mine, which I will review all the same so as not to give away which are mine. There were a lot of good ones though!

Entry 1. Fairly short, and the rhymes seemed a touch obvious. Some poets like to be jerks to inexperienced poets by trying to guess their next rhymes. You can still rhyme if you want to, but ABAB doesn't stick out as much as AABB and I think sounds a bit nicer. Also, you could really use punctuation at the ends of your lines so the reader can pair the lines together right. I had to read it a couple times to get that it was not "Oh it feels so right, not having you by my side." Which I think was the opposite of what you were going for. Just keep an eye on how you split double negatives next time.

Entry 2. Dang, I really like this one. You had just a tiny bit of rhyming, that I did not even notice the first time I read it! But it is there, a subtle rhyme between the 2nd and 4th lines, and it works really well.

Entry 3. Awww! This one is very sweet. ^^ You had the AABB rhyme scheme, but you used interesting words, the poem was more than just the rhyming words. It flowed nicely.

Entry 4. Your poem would probably be interesting out loud, but it is not organized on the page very well. It seems well written, but is a bit all over the place in terms of appearance...

Entry 5. Ok. This one might be my favorite. I am a sucker for the ABAB rhyme scheme, and in just four short stanzas, I was feeling it. Kudos to you. Awesome vocabulary too, btw.




Freebies:
Entry 6. Catchy. I like the MLP references. You used the AABB rhyme scheme, but altered it slightly. I like the repetition of Friendship is Magic.

Entry 7. That rhyme scheme! Did I mention that I love it? Suicide is a serious topic though. I think poetry has the power to express that, and your poem is good.

Entry 8. Interesting. Love the imagery.

Entry 9. This one is amazing. It feels beautiful and happy.

Entry 10. This one is cool. My only comment is that I don't think you needed to pluralize crimes. It would have had the same meaning non-pluralized, and would have rhymed better with lime.



Great job everyone!
 

*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
Gender
Entity
I had to give my votes to poems #2 and #7. Those are the ones that I liked over all others. But truthfully, every entry was surely deserving of my vote, they are all well written. Good job everyone. :yes:
 

Maikeru

Piper of Time
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Location
The Lost Woods
Well, instead of giving someone the lead in the poll, I just turned it into an 8 way tie.

I went with poems 3 and 6, simple because I thought they had the better flow. All the poems were intriguing in their own right, but those two just really stuck out to me. Oddly, I liked MLP stuff in the 6th poem as well.
I am too tired to write out my complete thoughts though, so I'll leave it there.

However, though I took too long with my poems, I still have one. xD Kind of dark I guess.



Title:
Unholy Visage


Doth thou know the color of my tears?
The length of my years?
Nay, I say, for you art a fool.
What, you say? You call mine self cruel?

Shiver me timbers, oblivious hack.
What can I say? I paint the world black.
You see me, you know me, you ask my opinion.
And you, I say, fell beneath my dominion.

Naive, ordinary, you're so insignificant.
So much, you see, that you think of me brilliant.
But now that I leave, to the world down below.
I realize regret, and how hard love was to show.

You are fool? Then call me double.
I am the reason for all of our trouble.
Can you not see behind this visage of conceit?
Or has mine confidence led to unfortunate deceit?

You challenge me profusely.
But you don't really know me.
Such a shame, this life feels wasted.
I left the world only more desolated.

Do not think though, that I am unknowing.
The signs of betrayal, from you are ever showing.
Enjoy the life you have left with whomever he be.
At least he must be more honest than me.

But forget not, for these words are true.
In the end, mine only love was for you
Now I pass, while on these thoughts I dwell.
We both sinned darling. See you in Hell.
 
Last edited:

Mido

Version 1
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Location
The Turnabout
Unholy Visage


Doth thou know the color of my tears?
The length of my years?
Nay, I say, for you art a fool.
What, you say? You call mine self cruel?

Shiver me timbers, oblivious hack.
What can I say? I paint the world black.
You see me, you know me, you ask my opinion.
And you, I say, fell beneath my dominion.

Naive, ordinary, you're so insignificant.
So much, you see, that you think of me brilliant.
But now that I leave, to the world down below.
I realize regret, and how hard love was to show.

You are fool? Then call me double.
I am the reason for all of our trouble.
Can you not see behind this visage of conceit?
Or has mine confidence led to unfortunate deceit?

You challenge me profusely.
But you don't really know me.
Such a shame, this life feels wasted.
I left the world only more desolated.

Do not think though, that I am unknowing.
The signs of betrayal, from you are ever showing.
Enjoy the life you have left with whomever he be.
At least he must be more honest than me.

But forget not, for these words are true.
In the end, mine only love was for you
Now I pass, while on these thoughts I dwell.
We both sinned darling. See you in Hell.


Nice use of Old English! :D An intriguing work! :yes:

As for my votes, it was a long, and nerve-wrecking process! Once I read these poems, I knew that the competition was indeed stiff! :lol: I have so much to say regarding each poet's work, but I will save my words until the end of the voting period, since I do not want to ramble on. Poems #1 and #9, 'ya did good! The votes are yours in the end! :yes:
 

*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
Gender
Entity
Just posting a reminder to all you Zders that this poll closes early in the morning tomorrow. And thanks to all who participated and voted. ^^
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Nov 17, 2011
Location
The Makai
I have been debating long and hard this week over which poems I liked the best from the two groups. It certainly was not an easy decision. Though it's taken almost the entire length of the voting process, my votes have gone towards Poem 2 and Poem 9. There's nothing I can really say to justify my selection except that those poems drew me in more than the others, which is why they got my vote.
 
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