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General Art Mamono101's Poetry Thread

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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From time to time I like to write poetry so I thought I might start putting them up bit by bit. Let me know what you guys think (even if you dislike it, just let me know specifically why) and if you like them, keep an eye out for infrequent updates!

This one I wrote this morning so it has no title yet (any suggestions?):

The monster
Is not hiding in the closet
Is not hiding in the dark
Is not hiding under my bed.

It is living in my house...

It looks like my father
But it's not
It talks like my father
But it's not
It feels like my father
But it's not

It lets me know that it's my fault...

He tells me to do things
But I don't want to
He tells me to keep it a secret
But I don't want to
He forces me to 'love' him
But I don't want to.

Please, someone, help me...

This too has no name so feel free to make suggestions!

UNTITLED 1

Translucent orbs of melancholy
Moisten my pale cheeks,
As the loneliness within his soul
Infects those within his reach.

As I gaze into his deep-blue eyes
My heart aches for him,
For sadness taints their innocence
Those windows to his soul.
 
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Joined
Jun 3, 2011
When it comes to titling things, I prefer simplicity- pick a name that has some sort of significance to the poem or story at hand. While it may mean not having as original of a title, consider it some food for thought in the future. Your first poem strikes me more as an "inner demons" poem than anything else, while your second poem makes me think of sadness and regret. While that was likely your intention, it's a starting point should you decide to name these poems. :3
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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For anyone out there who cares, here is another:

I sit and I cry for those who have forgotten
That they were once loved as much as that liquid
That they were once kissed as oft as that bottle
That they were once hugged as much as that glass
That they were once happy to be his son.

So I sit and I weep
With melancholy in my heart
For those who have forgotten how.


When it comes to titling things, I prefer simplicity- pick a name that has some sort of significance to the poem or story at hand. While it may mean not having as original of a title, consider it some food for thought in the future. Your first poem strikes me more as an "inner demons" poem than anything else, while your second poem makes me think of sadness and regret. While that was likely your intention, it's a starting point should you decide to name these poems. :3
Thanks! I always find naming my pieces the hardest part of the writing process. I don't like obvious titles that allude to whatever the subject of the piece is though I do enjoy it when you need to read through a piece more than once in order to understand the significance of the title.
 
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Keeseman

Smash is Life
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Sep 23, 2012
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Beijing, China
Wow. That was quite powerful. I liked your repetition of the words "That they were once", as well as the strong image created of the alcohol. However, I think you could make it even stronger by describing the addiction that the narrator (I'm assuming the narrator is a drunk) has.

Keep up the good work!
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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Thanks for the feedback!

Yeah, the poem is about alcoholism. Interesting interpretation although when I wrote it the POV I had in mind is from neither the alcoholic nor the person affected by alcoholism as I have neither of those experiences. It's supposed to be someone who empathises with victims in that situation.

And have no fear, I shall most definitely continue writing - it's a hobby of mine (when I have the time for it of course!).
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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Found this while going through an old thread I posted. I wrote this poem as part of a play I did for university:

The blade in which he placed his trust
Brings death swift and just,
And the tears which once did stain his face
Remain forever frozen in their place.

The light fades from his eyes
As his blood pools around him,
His life slowly ebbs away
A youth forever will he stay.

The innocence has left his face
His laughter has been slain,
As he lies there, naked, on the floor
Dead, forever more.
 
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Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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I know it's been a while, but here's another:

I've fallen into my mind
and I need to get out
before I drown.

As it closes in
I can't escape
my own thoughts and emotions.

I am bored by everything
and as the days go by
the darkness refuses to recede.

A familiar sensation forms in my throat
and as I choke back tears
I feel less of everything and more of nothing.
 
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Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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Finally found some time to read your entry. I like it; good job, Mamono101. :cool: But I'd like to see more rhyming in the future.
Thanks for the feedback Gobli! Next time, I'll craft a poem that rhymes just for you. ^^
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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The last writing competition was a poetry one so this time, my entries are going here.

The first poem was supposed to be dedicated to someone special such as a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend etc. My poem is dedicated to a friend who has greatly helped me out over the last 6 months of my life:


From the solitude in which I was drowning
Your hand against my hand, was brushed,
And though I was doing nowt but pining,
All my fears, you quelled and crushed.

My cracks and flaws were plain to see
My curse: a broken brain,
But the support to me that you would be
Helped to keep me sane.

You've burrowed deep within my soul
You've listened without derision,
You're someone whom I can extol
And love without contrition.

And though life has both its ups and downs,
Throughout all its twists and turns,
To you I'll forfeit all my frowns,
As my joie de vivre returns.​
EDIT (18/04/15):

@Jimmy.F27: I don't know if you ever knew or suspected this, but this poem was written for you. Thought it was time to let you know. And, as always, thank you!

The second poem was a free choice poem, so I naturally returned to the subject matter I am most familiar with so this poem has a mature content warning to it:


There's nothing on the inside
But a hollow, empty void,
And for every tear that I have cried,
There are those I wish destroyed.

Upon my enemies, to inflict pain
Was what my heart desired,
Their taunts, my head could not contain
And thus my hate was sired.

I want for them to know my pain
And the hatred that consumes me,
But they trivialise all that I claim
Not realising how they've doomed me.

That this hurt can finally dissipate
As my consciousness doth fade,
'Twas all that did precipitate
The decision that I have made.

As my metal friend upon my wrist
Severs my Earthly ties,
With the knowledge that I shan't be missed,
I depart, with no goodbyes.
 
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Violet Link

takumi was a mistake and so are the S supports
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Location
insert fictional world
The last writing competition was a poetry one so this time, my entries are going here and as promised above, they both rhyme.

The first poem was supposed to be dedicated to someone special such as a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend etc. My poem is dedicated to a friend who has greatly helped me out over the last 6 months of my life:


From the solitude in which I was drowning
Your hand against my hand, was brushed,
And though I was doing nowt but pining,
All my fears, you quelled and crushed.

My cracks and flaws were plain to see
My curse: a broken brain,
But the support to me that you would be
Helped to keep me sane.

You've burrowed deep within my soul
You've listened without derision,
You're someone whom I can extol
And love without contrition.

And though life has both its ups and downs,
Throughout all its twists and turns,
To you I'll forfeit all my frowns,
As my joie de vivre returns.​
The second poem was a free choice poem, so I naturally returned to the subject matter I am most familiar with so this poem has a mature content warning to it:


There's nothing on the inside
But a hollow, empty void,
And for every tear that I have cried,
There are those I wish destroyed.

Upon my enemies, to inflict pain
Was what my heart desired,
Their taunts, my head could not contain
And thus my hate was sired.

I want for them to know my pain
And the hatred that consumes me,
But they trivialise all that I claim
Not realising how they've doomed me.

That this hurt can finally dissipate
As my consciousness doth fade,
'Twas all that did precipitate
The decision that I have made.

As my metal friend upon my wrist
Severs my Earthly ties,
With the knowledge that I shan't be missed,
I depart, with no goodbyes.

Oh my god, Mamono, your poetry writings are really deep. I'm really interested to read more of these.
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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Location
The Makai
Oh my god, Mamono, your poetry writings are really deep. I'm really interested to read more of these.
Thanks Vio, glad you like them. :)

Hey buddy are you still going to update your thread? I just discovered it now and it is beautiful work!
Appreciate you saying that, Vee! I do intend to update this at some point but to do that, I need to write something first... ^^ I did actually write a poem for the previous WCC but missed the deadline because I lost the final product after a power failure. Perhaps I'll clean it up again and post it sometime in the future.
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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The Makai
This is another poem I entered recently into the WCC. (Congrats to Luke's Wife for winning that round!)

Introspective Desolation

The voices won't stop.
I can hear them,
Always whispering.

They paralyse me with my guilt,
Taunting me with their malice.

I cry out for help,
But no one's listening.

Did I not cry loud enough?
Did I not cry hard enough?

I feel broken.

Do you care?
Do you care?
Do you even care?

Well, do you?

My body remains unharmed
And yet, I hurt all over.
Constantly wishing for
A change I know will never come.

Pretending to be OK
Only makes it worse as
My duplicitous personality
Begins cracking at the seams.

The pills I swallow
Only do so much to help
As they slide down my throat,
Evening out my insides;
Numbing everything I no longer wish to feel.

Existing is hard.
Pretending I enjoy existing is harder.
But I can never let them know.
I can never tell them the truth.
My pseudo-happiness fools them all and
I continue to smile, even though it hurts.
I continue to laugh, even though it's not funny.
I continue to cry, but only when they're not looking…

I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to change.
I don't know how to be happy.
I don't know how to live.
I don't know how to heal.
I don't know if I can heal.

Do I truly enjoy
Being by myself,
Or have I simply grown accustomed
To being alone?
 

Mamono101

生きることは痛みを知ること。
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Location
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After some consideration (as I didn't know where to put this one), I feel like it's best suited for this thread so here it is:

I've been wanting to tell you guys for a while now. I just… I was afraid.
I guess I've known since I was fourteen.
What? Why?
I'm still me.
It's not a phase.
No, it's not!
IT'S NOT!
Oliver. His name's Oliver. Why can you never remember that? We've been friends since primary school.
Yes, I love him.
You… You hit me.
Disgusting?
I don't believe in Hell.
Go? Go where…?
I don't have any.
I've got nowhere else to go.
What do you mean 10 minutes?
Don't make me. Please, I don't want to.
I'm begging you.
I'm still your son, I'm still…
I'm right here.
You can't. Don't ignore me!
Mom!?
Dad?
TALK TO ME.
Please, I love you.
No, don't.
Please stop.
Dad, no.
Sto—
Ow! You're hurting me.
I… can't… breathe.
I can't…
I…

..
.
 

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