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Last person to post wins

I just quoted the whole "The flow of time is always cruel" speech to my dad. He said "ah, Shakespeare" To which I replied "no, it's Sheikspeare" and um now I kind of hate myself lol
opportunistic puns like this are the besttt

i remember when i was getting in the car to leave from my uncles, with marshmallow in a little plastic cup after pursuading him to let him keep a wasp in his house for a day, i just like nonchalantly said "thank you for your wospitality" as i got in the car and my mom just said really quietly to her brother "im sorry"
they did the football field again? that was something they did last year right? i remember telling my sis about it cuz she ran track and it was meme af

also internet died and im being a meme on mobile data now... im not done listening to icon for hires new song 200 times dang it

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