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Is bullying really that bad?

Dan

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Sep 19, 2011
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No I'm not talking about "internet bullying" which isn't bullying, although I think that should be a topic for a future debate as there's something rather alluring about it.

I'm talking about good ol fashion bullying, the kind that involves punches, wedgies, happy slapping, light bag heavy bag, and being chinned. The public consensus on bullying is usually "bullies should not be tolerated". The bully is often characterised as someone that has issues of their own and one of low self esteem.

Let's be honest though, that really isn't always the case, sure sometimes it is but we all know there's another side to it that many do not want to talk about.

The video below is an example of a certain individual that will get bullied into the ground.

Bullying often stems from certain individuals behaving way out of line with the status quo in ways that annoys others, as a result that individual will be ridiculed until their behaviour is corrected. The prefect above who clearly has some mental dysfunction(you can tell by his sporadic movements and bizarre mannerisms) attempts to move(power play) our four protagonists for the simple act of chilling out indoors which is a big no no according to his rule book. Naturally he's going to get bullied for it. Are the four boys bullies? Well they'll be labelled that right away because labels are excellent methods to direct peoples thoughts instantly without making any real case.

I strongly believe that not all bullying is wrong, it can help shape individuals and socialise them properly for the future and boost their ability to interact with others.

I wouldn't be where I am today if all my disputes with others were removed by adults.

What are your thoughts on this? Is some bullying good? Was the prefect in the video acting out of line? Do you the forum dweller have experience being a bully, have you been bullied?
 
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misskitten

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I will always vehemently say that bullying is never a good thing. And I find it more than a little bit insulting to have it simplified into mere disputes, and more so the insinuation that victims of bullying can blame themselves. No one deserves that kind of cruelty, it doesn't matter how they stand out - if they do at all.

I certainly didn't stand out when I started school. As much as I hate to use the word "normal" to describe myself, I actually was very normal as kid. My own siblings predicted I would be very popular in school, because I got on very well with other kids in my neighborhood. Yet the exact opposite thing ended up happening. I didn't find a friend in my own class, which made me an easy target. I can't pinpoint any moment when the bullying started, because it grew out of the smallest things and just escalated over time. Not going to go into a lot of details, just that it was all kinds of bullying. Everything from social exclusion and verbal put-downs, to beatings and threats. The boys did most of the physical stuff, the girls mostly took care of the psychological bits.

You don't grow strong from bullying, you do it in spite of it. And even if you're one of the lucky ones who make it far enough that you can lead a normal life afterwards, you do not do it without serious scarring. I lucked out, it was just a crippled self esteem and violent anger issues, both of which took years to combat and heal from. I could have developed serious anxiety issues as many others do, cease functioning as an independent adult (like someone else I encountered who had a similar story to mine), and who knows what else.
 

Jirohnagi

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Bullying shouldn't be tolerated one bit, they bully because they enjoy the sense of power they get over the victim and of course once one starts you know that others will. It's wrong to say bullies are cowards because quite often they aren't they work in concert with one another because it provides more fun to them.

People who saying bullying isn't that bad are often times the assholes who bullied others as kids. The crap that goes on that's classed as bullying is in the adult world classed as assault, someitmes sexual assault and harrassment. Kids will bully just because they are kids, if they sense someone they think is weaker they go for it.

The statement OP shares with us "not all bullying is wrong, it can help shape individuals and socialise them properly" is just plain stupid, sorry dan but it is, All bullying is wrong, would you accept it from a boss or co-worker? It doesn't shape anyone positively and sure as hell doesn't socialise them. It screws them up worse.

the video linked above and the following statement "Bullying often stems from certain individuals behaving way out of line with the status quo in ways that annoys others, as a result that individual will be ridiculed until their behaviour is corrected." You've just said it "the status quo" anyone who doesn't fit it are mercilessly weeded out, the kid above clearly has issues and yet 4 kids are there doing all they can to annoy and aggravate him, he clearly wishes for em to leave him be, 4v1 in any books is just a group of assholes, all 4 of them are friends and are clearly egging each other on, one starts insulting him for no reason other than his mates think it's fun. Basically you've just made a bad case for "bullying isn't bad"
 

Misty

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Hmm. I honestly don't know.

I would guess it depends on the kind of bullying and how relentless it is and what the kid being bullied has done, right? Like probably in most cases it's arsey, but I could imagine cases where it wasn't vaguely.

This idea kids should be held to the same standards as adults seems bunk to me. From their brain development, to the amount of time society has had to shape them, to the generic process of learning where the lines are and who you are, that's just not very reasonable to any child, including the bullies.

Children are something. Like, they express all the acts and emotions that adults don't. If a child is excited, they'll hug you or put their head on your lap. A child who doesn't like someone will tell them to die without a second thought or push them into a locker. If they're having a bad day, they'll lay on the floor and scream about it or slam a door.Now, admittedly, the latter stuff seems worse, but it's all inappropriate and needs to be socialized away.

And the only way that happens is the "acting out". We all have different issues in us that need to be addressed particularly as children.

Being bullied is an opportunity to learn how to properly deal with someone who doesn't like you in an appropriate and adult manner and the feelings attached. The problem isn't that these kids are bullied, it's that they're too rarely guided through that process by an adult. But if they could be, what a great opportunity. No, really. It's not as if adults don't bully each other. Sure, we manage to get clever about it so no one is pushed into lockers (mostly), but it's totally there. So it happening in childhood would be a great place to start building a child up to be ready to handle it.

In terms of being the bully, well, the same thing, right? Like, that's an opportunity to teach a child how to express their directness and feelings in a healthy and adult way.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but some stuff that would be wrong in the adult world, just isn't in the kid world. Because the standards aren't the same. Everything is about learning the rules of the game you're in and why those rules exist. The only wrong that can really occur is if you never get taught better.

I mean, unless your basic point is the human condition is wrong. Then I agree. But otherwise, I feel like wrong doesn't belong on the schoolyard.
 
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Dan

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The statement OP shares with us "not all bullying is wrong, it can help shape individuals and socialise them properly" is just plain stupid, sorry dan but it is, All bullying is wrong, would you accept it from a boss or co-worker? It doesn't shape anyone positively and sure as hell doesn't socialise them. It screws them up worse.
Don't ever apologize for your thoughts and opinions.

I wouldn't accept it from a boss or co-worker, instead I would counter it. In my younger days I actually was bullied by a co-worker in an old job I had. I was low on money at the time and decided to do some agency work. Every day at this job I was publicly ridiculed by one individual. I did my best to ignore and avoid him but never fight back. The situation grew worse however as he upped his game and started getting others involved. I was a mere agency worker so going to those in power wasn't going to do anything as my value was far less than the individual that disliked me. I wouldn't want to get the guy in trouble anyway as he had a girlfriend and a baby on the way. I ended up leaving quite damaged from the situation.

I never saw myself as a victim in that situation, nor did I blame my co-worker for being an asshole towards me. I'm actually somewhat grateful to experience the above as I learned a lot about myself and realized I had a huge self esteem problem that needed fixing if I were to survive in the adult world.

Bullying is very much a reality in the adult world. It's just far more complex and grey due to money being involved and everyone holding a certain rank.
 
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Bullying is more or less replaced by trolling these days, at least where school is involved. Long story short.
 
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YIGAhim

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SOmetimes it is for that person's own good. Some people honestly deserve a good ol' roughing up, especially if it has it coming for them.

I got beaten up in the second grade... Not even a reason...
 
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Bullying is never okay, but I don't think it will ever fully be eradicated. I think it's been exacerbated in the past decade because of social media and cyberbullying. I'm glad social media wasn't a thing growing up when I was being bullied. I had false rumors spread about me, I was hit, I was publicly humiliated in front of my class, and experienced sexual harassment from my male peers. I'm not happy I went through it, but I feel it made me a stronger person. Just because I chose not to be a victim, though, does not mean that everyone else is going to follow suit.

It's important to call out bullies but also seek a support network, whether it's friends, family, teachers, counselors, co-workers, supervisors, or someone who you feel that you can trust and confide in. I've seen too many stories of children and teenagers committing suicide because of bullying, and that has to stop. Those of us that are adults and/or parents need to do a better job of identifying bullying and stepping in when it happens to children or notice a drastic change in behavior or grades. It's so important to have that channel of communication with kids so they know they are not alone and they have someone to turn to.
 

Castle

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Bullying is a fact of life. Indeed, bullying is a right of passage. Life is full of hardships. Bullies are just another hardship. Human beings have been having to contend with bullies since we first stood upright. No one is going to put an end to bullying. A polite society might minimize bullying but it's here to stay in all corners of the world and at all times. By all means, teach your children to be polite, but also teach them to stand up to bullies. If a person can't learn how to contend with bullies at a young age, they never will. They will be victims their entire lives, and a society full of victims is a society of sheep and wolves. Such a society can only end in ruin.
 

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