Intelligent Falling

[(◕‿◕✿)]

Intelligent Falling​

The theory of gravity has permeated throughout both the scientific community, and our popular culture. It is ubiquitous in everything from intellectual discourse, to everyday conversation. However, have you ever stopped to think, is this true?

It seems that nowadays, we are just expected to take gravity on faith, just as a given. I mean, obviously things fall down because of the universal force acting on their mass, right? I'm not so sure. I would like to introduce the concept of Intelligent Falling. I am aware this will be a rather controversial notion, but I feel it is my moral obligation to spread this fundamental truth.

At the heart of Intelligent Falling is the simple, intuitive idea that for things to fall, or be "drawn to a center of mass", there must be an agent that moves them in that manner. Take for instance, a ball tossed up in the air. As children, we are conditioned to believe that this thing called 'gravity' is responsible for it falling back to earth. We even read about how physicists have conducted experiments to "prove" this (but they can't prove it, because they can't prove the ball isn't being pushed down by the agent mentioned above).
Essentially, what I have come to discover is that there is a intelligent agent, omnipresent in the universe, that pushes things down towards center mass, giving the illusion of a "force of the universe" that draws things together.

But what about the planets, I hear you cry? Well, they too are subject to this intelligent falling; indeed, all things in the universe are. Planets are simply being "stirred" around each other, like ingredients in a mixing bowl. The agent of Intelligent Falling makes sure that everything moves smoothly in the universe. Afte rall, how could the randomness of nature account for such precise movements in the cosmos?

I understand that this idea will be met with skepticism, and even opposition, and I can understand. After all, it was such skepticism that led me to the notion of Intelligent Falling, but I hope that some day, everyone's eyes can be opened to this amazing truth of the universe.

 

[Seth]

I concur, Gravity after all is just a theory. How can we possibly prove something we can't see? The idea of invisible forces all around us just makes no sense, besides, how can they explain things like airplanes or balloons? Everything works in perfect order, it's impossible for their not to be some intelligent force behind it all. It's like an old clock, every part working in sync. The planets, the sun, etc. I am with you 100%.

 

[RedLink]

You do realize Intelligent Falling is a parody right?

 

[(◕‿◕✿)]

You do realize Intelligent Falling is a parody right?

This is kind of rude, I wish people wouldn't be so intolerant of my beliefs.

 

[tketle]

You are a genious

 

[Dimooshky]

I saw the thread title and immediately thought.

'That wasn't flying. That was falling with style!'

 

[Batman]

I'm with you Kitsu and I promise you you're not alone; there are millions of us out there who concur. What really pisses me off is that our freedoms as IF'ers are being infringed on by the government. They won't let us teach IF in science classrooms but they'll teach the theory of gravity. Why not teach the controversy? They haven't disproved IF yet they refuse to teach it....hmm.

 

[Majora's Cat]

Stunning! Revolutionary! The United States government needs to mandate the instruction of Intelligent Falling. The next logical step would be to phone a representative so he/she can get started on writing a bill proposal. Just wait until the 114th Congress, just wait... the teaching of IF will be legislated and students everywhere will understand its merits.

 

[Isaac]

I spent about 2 days developing a theory to replace gravity once. It was based around magnetism. If I can find the file I'll post it, though it was a year or two ago.

 

[Batman]

It better be in support of Intelligent Falling, Isaac. Otherwise I'll ignore it and call it pro-gravity bias.

 

[Sir Quaffler]

Hmm... ok, interesting theory, although not strictly-speaking a scientific one.

What I would like to propose is a request to explain the four causes laid down by Aristotle to get at the question of 'Why?', seeming as how this theory seems to be tackling the 'why' as opposed to the 'how'. This might help clear up some misconceptions or clarify the standpoint, or at the very least spark interesting discussion.

(This taken from the Wikipedia article of Four Causes)

1) What is the material cause of Intelligent Falling, if there is one? In other words, what is the nature of the raw material from which it is composed?

2) What is the formal cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the form or pattern of IF which when present causes gravity? (I'm not personally convinced of formal cause, but it might be interesting to see if there can be a formal explanation of IF.)

3) What is the efficient cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the being or agent that brings about gravity?

4) What is the final cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the end goal, purpose, aim, etc. of the agent that brings about gravity?

 

[Batman]

1) What is the material cause of Intelligent Falling, if there is one? In other words, what is the nature of the raw material from which it is composed?

It's not composed of "raw material", it would have to be composed of immaterial structures (from the point of view of the natural world). We don't have any scientific evidence that these unnatural materials exist, but science can't really probe this realm. Science can tell us that falling exists, i.e, it can describe it, but it can't explain the cause. We know some kind of intelligence is behind it because it just seems so obvious that this phenomenon is designed and not the product of accident.

2) What is the formal cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the form or pattern of IF which when present causes gravity? (I'm not personally convinced of formal cause, but it might be interesting to see if there can be a formal explanation of IF.)

The natural effect must have an unnatural cause by definition. So, an unnatural intelligence causes the formal changes in the natural effects we observe. The mechanics of the cause itself are not knowable as they belongs to a realm outside what we can measure. The evidence is overwhelming when you consider the complexity behind such an amazing phenomenon, however. Complex things cannot arise from simple things without design, no matter what. It violates entropy and it just doesn't make sense.

3) What is the efficient cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the being or agent that brings about gravity?

Details about this agent are currently unknown. But we can make a few broad assumptions given what we know about falling: this agent must be conscious, intelligent, and powerful. It must also care for the universe (and life within it) a great deal in order for it to devote so much energy to keeping a 93 billion + ly visible universe gravitationally stable.

4) What is the final cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the end goal, purpose, aim, etc. of the agent that brings about gravity?

As far as we can tell, a stable universe so life within it can function. This agent must love life otherwise it wouldn't work so hard to keep things gravitationally stable so we could live. Purposes and answers to "why" questions are obviously cosmically significant (and not mere subjective ponderings of the human mind as pro-gravity cultists will tell you), but we can only go so far in figuring it out. It really is impossible at this point to really be able to understand the ultimate plans of this agent. There may be reasons for falling that we just can't understand.

 

[Jamie]

Hmm... ok, interesting theory, although not strictly-speaking a scientific one.

What I would like to propose is a request to explain the four causes laid down by Aristotle to get at the question of 'Why?', seeming as how this theory seems to be tackling the 'why' as opposed to the 'how'. This might help clear up some misconceptions or clarify the standpoint, or at the very least spark interesting discussion.

(This taken from the Wikipedia article of Four Causes)

1) What is the material cause of Intelligent Falling, if there is one? In other words, what is the nature of the raw material from which it is composed?

2) What is the formal cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the form or pattern of IF which when present causes gravity? (I'm not personally convinced of formal cause, but it might be interesting to see if there can be a formal explanation of IF.)

3) What is the efficient cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the being or agent that brings about gravity?

4) What is the final cause of Intelligent Falling? i.e. what is the end goal, purpose, aim, etc. of the agent that brings about gravity?

I don't mean to burst your bubble, but:
(from Wikipedia)
"Intelligent falling (IF) is a parody of the intelligent design (ID) movement. IF is a pseudoscientific supernatural explanation of the effects of gravity that has become an Internet phenomenon."

I imagine most people in this thread know this(based on their posts supporting it), but I can't tell if you are going along with it or not.