Terminus
If I was a wizard this wouldn't be happening to me
About a month ago I was playing a Pathfinder (based on D&D) game with my usual game night group, and our party was given a quest by a local king to rescue a princess from a Dragon-held Keep, which is fairly standard adventuring fare.
Before we get further, I should elaborate on our fine adventuring party;
As the Lizardfolk guard was quite unprepared for a heavily armed adventuring party appearing five feet from his face, he freaks out and charges at us with his sword... and misses.
Normally the story would end here, the Barbarian would summarily behead the yowling Lizardfolk, and we'd take the princess back the way she came.
Nope.
Instead, the guard overcharged so bad he ended up inside of the secret tunnel, and just guess what his sword managed to catch on.
The party hears the crack of wood, a mighty rumble is felt throughout the room, and the sound of splitting stone kills the air around us.
As the dirt and dust slowly clear, we see a single reptilian leg buried under the mountain of rubble that used to be our escape route. Additionally, during the ruckus, the princess managed to hit her head on a piece of stone and was out cold.
Since the princess didn't have Mythic Power™ she would have been unable to use our teleporting MacGuffins we got a few adventures back to leave, so as a group we elected to prop her against the wall as we searched for an easier way out.
We progress through the dungeon with little enough resistance, slaughtering Lizardfolk and Extremely Minor Dragons until we come to a closed door. We try and stealthily open up and...
Dracolisk!
Because Dragons are far too easy, they clearly need to be able to petrify you with a single stare.
At any rate, the party turns tail and books it for cover while the 'lisk lies in wait.
Out of character, we try and brainstorm a way to counteract the petrification. We come to several dead ends and start to get genuinely frustrated until the Barbarian's player speaks up.
"I dump out my Bag of Holding, dash forward, and jam it over the Dracoslisk's head."
Makes his save to avoid the Dracolisk's gaze, shoves the bag over its head and down to it's front legs, rendering it almost completely helpless (In the DM's words, "You know what, **** it. The Dracolisk is now Blind and flailing in a futile attempt to shake off the bag").
The Monk and Barbarian get Enlarge Person from my Alchemist and Bull's Strength from the Cleric, allowing them to decimate an incredibly threatening monster in about two or three combat rounds. The bag was even perfectly fine after its ordeal!
We saunter through the rest of the Keep feeling like real hotshots, when all of a sudden the keep starts shaking and collapsing from the Lizardfolk's structural damage from earlier and...
Nah of course that didn't happen, I'm just messing with you. Imagine if that actually happened.
We successfully dispatch the (small-ish) Dragon with only minor third degree burns, retrieve the princess, and head back to the city the long way.
All in all, everything went better than expected.
Before we get further, I should elaborate on our fine adventuring party;
- Arbane Bryrel, an eccentric Elven Alchemist (me) who is perpetually high from breathing in potion ingredients all day for decades
- Trielyu Blackland, our Half-Elf Cleric/Wizard who more or less seized the position of "Face of the Party"
- Gruun, a Half-Orc Monk who toes the line between Ascetic and Life of the Party
- Garog, a Half-Orc barbarian with 6 INT and very little self control
As the Lizardfolk guard was quite unprepared for a heavily armed adventuring party appearing five feet from his face, he freaks out and charges at us with his sword... and misses.
Normally the story would end here, the Barbarian would summarily behead the yowling Lizardfolk, and we'd take the princess back the way she came.
Nope.
Instead, the guard overcharged so bad he ended up inside of the secret tunnel, and just guess what his sword managed to catch on.
The party hears the crack of wood, a mighty rumble is felt throughout the room, and the sound of splitting stone kills the air around us.
As the dirt and dust slowly clear, we see a single reptilian leg buried under the mountain of rubble that used to be our escape route. Additionally, during the ruckus, the princess managed to hit her head on a piece of stone and was out cold.
Since the princess didn't have Mythic Power™ she would have been unable to use our teleporting MacGuffins we got a few adventures back to leave, so as a group we elected to prop her against the wall as we searched for an easier way out.
We progress through the dungeon with little enough resistance, slaughtering Lizardfolk and Extremely Minor Dragons until we come to a closed door. We try and stealthily open up and...
Dracolisk!
Because Dragons are far too easy, they clearly need to be able to petrify you with a single stare.
At any rate, the party turns tail and books it for cover while the 'lisk lies in wait.
Out of character, we try and brainstorm a way to counteract the petrification. We come to several dead ends and start to get genuinely frustrated until the Barbarian's player speaks up.
"I dump out my Bag of Holding, dash forward, and jam it over the Dracoslisk's head."
Makes his save to avoid the Dracolisk's gaze, shoves the bag over its head and down to it's front legs, rendering it almost completely helpless (In the DM's words, "You know what, **** it. The Dracolisk is now Blind and flailing in a futile attempt to shake off the bag").
The Monk and Barbarian get Enlarge Person from my Alchemist and Bull's Strength from the Cleric, allowing them to decimate an incredibly threatening monster in about two or three combat rounds. The bag was even perfectly fine after its ordeal!
We saunter through the rest of the Keep feeling like real hotshots, when all of a sudden the keep starts shaking and collapsing from the Lizardfolk's structural damage from earlier and...
Nah of course that didn't happen, I'm just messing with you. Imagine if that actually happened.
We successfully dispatch the (small-ish) Dragon with only minor third degree burns, retrieve the princess, and head back to the city the long way.
All in all, everything went better than expected.
