How Do You Wish to Improve Yourself?

[gannondorf]

For myself, I know in order to conquer the challenges of the world, I must first conquer myself and my own little imperfections.

I find myself to be a procrastinator.
I find myself to be unable to hold a decent sleep cycle.
i find myself losing the will power needed over a period of time, like an arm that has been raised how weeks getting tired, to get things I know need to be done, done.
I know there are things I need to do with myself, but don't do them.

i am a person that can envision what could be in reality with great precision mentally, but struggle to bring those things into the real world beyond the confines of my own mind.

I also seem to have this thing about power, most likely stemming from the fact that early on in my life, there were those who would assume that upon hearing I had autism, they would automatically assume things about me and treat me like I was incapable and stupid.

i see myself often gaining a cocky,relaxed playful attitude when I find myself with the power I need to go above and beyond in any kind of challenge, especially against other people.

At times, its merely for fun being able to out do everyone else and at others, it seems to learn towards a slightly more selfish nature.

and other times, I find myself frustrated,frozen on my feet and desiring the power I need to over come challenges and people that are greater then me.

this little part, comes into conflict with my own imperfect natures, as they increase my frustration for not being able to become greater then I am now because I can't muster up the power to over come even myself.

I dream of the people to finally do as I please in my life, were money and resources are not a problem.
I dream of the power to impact the world, were the amount of mental power and skill, combined with other people I managed to gain along with me becomes unmatched.

As I look back at my actions and feelings in the past in my life, I recall my strongest ones being at rooted to one thing, and that is power.

over time in my life, these feelings grew more and more dominate.



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"You may have invaded my body and my mind,
but there's one thing a sayain always keeps, HIS PRIDE!!!!!!!"- Vageta

 

[Jackalope]

I'd like to be more assertive. I'd like to be able to lead people for once rather than always being the right-hand. I'd like to know what I want instead of saying, "Doesn't matter" or, "Whatever you like" for once.

I dunno. It makes no sense that I'm like this since my parents are both tough. But then again they grew up in the city and had more life experience than me when they were younger.

I try improving myself in these ways all the time, but I just can't help it.