How Do You Search for a Relationship?

[Dan]

Recently an anonymous member contacted me and told me to make this thread or he would beat me up, so here it is. How do you search for a relationship, perhaps you go to your local libery and chat up the sexy librarian chick. By the way when I say relationship I mean it can be just a friend.
This is picture of a librarian

perhaps you're a sunny D girl and go to the club to meet some men, or maybe you try internet dating, or perhaps you just don't search at all and let it naturally happen.

FAQ
Q.Dan this question is stupid, one does not SEARCH for a relationship, you first have to find a person then establish one.
A.Yes I know that, but for the sake of the thread title and to cut shizzle short I named it this.

 

[Clank]

I am actually trying to figure that out, however from what I have gathered so far this is my method;
1. Have someone catch my interest.
2. Stalk the person and learn their behaviors
3. Determine that I really want to proceed with this operation.
4. Use the information from step 2 to talk to the person.
5. Use information gathered in step 2 to get to know them better
6. I actually haven't gotten past this step(yet...)
7. ???
8. A relationship

So, yeah, that's my system...I think I have scared people with it, however it is just my nature to do that

Spoiler

Please don't hurt me

 

[Dan]

I am actually trying to figure that out, however from what I have gathered so far this is my method;
1. Have someone catch my interest.
2. Stalk the person and learn their behaviors
3. Determine that I really want to proceed with this operation.
4. Use the information from step 2 to talk to the person.
5. Use information gathered in step 2 to get to know them better
6. I actually haven't gotten past this step(yet...)
7. ???
8. A relationship

So, yeah, that's my system...I think I have scared people with it, however it is just my nature to do that

Spoiler

Please don't hurt me

It's perfectly fine Clank, that's how you're programmed and we respect that.

 

[misskitten]

I don't like going out to clubs/bars/etc and most my friends are settling down themselves, hence I've realized I need to expand my social circle a bit. So I've recently joined a local boardgame group, not only do I get introduced to a lot of new games and have a lot of fun that way, but I also get to meet a lot of interesting people around my own age (they have no specific age limit, but the average age there is 30, so I fit right in). I don't specifically look for a relationship, but it's a nice way to keep my options open, a venue where I meet people with similar interests who also happen to be in my age group

Other than that I am on a couple of sites, one of which I have more or less abandoned because it's completely filled with horndogs, the other I'm more active on and have met with some nice people so far

 

[Mamono101]

As I am a bit of a recluse, I don't really set out to meet people. If it happens then it happens but I won't go out of my way to strike up a conversation with someone I don't know. Conversely, if someone talks to me (depending on who) I won't outright ignore them either. I just don't like talking to randoms. It used to happen a lot in high school 'cause on our senior jersey, we were only allowed our name as my school was strict so people would come up to me and stupidly ask if the name on the back of my jersey was my name. Eventually I got so pissed off that I started telling people I was wearing my boyfriend's jersey just so they'd stop talking to me. That's how much I love meeting new people.

 

[Justac00lguy]

I have never actually searched for a relationship, usually I just stumble into them, usually I'd end up trying to chat a girl up who I liked the look of when I'm out. To be honest most of these develop into nothing however a few have actually devolved into full fledged relationships, I haven't had one of those stereotypical ways of falling in love things just transpire into something bigger. Maybe that's been the downfall of my relationships, I don't know or maybe I or my partner(s) just weren't ready to commit at the time.

To be honest I kind of wish I never got into such relationships, it's affected my outlook on the whole situation and now I really can't be bothered to "search" for a relationship as I don't necessarily need or want one at this current time. I'll just go with the flow and see what happens in the future.

 

[BlitzPlum]

If I knew how to search for a relationship, I wouldn't still be single.

 

[Mercedes]

Well, I used to go to clubs. But, guys aren't looking for relationships at a club, I discovered after numerous attempts. Nobody is. People are looking for just 1 thing and it'll last just 1 night; well, more like an hour. Or half an hour. Or 10 minutes...

Really, I think you look for relationships everywhere. You never know when you might find that special someone afterall! So, I'd just talk to a guy randomly, could be at work, at a bar, a friend's friend that came over one day, anything. If you hit it off, more than just the once, then you go out for a date. That's how you learn about the other person afterall. And see what happens from there! I think a lot of people rush things when it comes to relationships. Just take it slow. You should enjoy being with that person period, and should value that time together whether a relationship is on the cards or not. That's how two people really connect, and that's why I think stuff get's rushed, especially when you're younger. I mean, happened to me all the time. Happening to a friend right now, and it's so annoying to watch. And if they're right, they'll wait for you too.

 

[CynicalSquid]

I don't really search for them, most of the time. I just meet a girl at school and ended up liking them.

The farthest I've gotten though is asking them out, and both of them said "no".

 

[Ventus]

I don't actively search for relationships but when I DO come into a relationship it is through Zelda Dungeon. The reason for this is that I don't care for relationships but online relationships are easier to form and sustain from what I know (and I know nothing at all).

 

[Maniacal Ezlo]

That's hard to answer, because I don't search for relationships. My longest relationship (if you can call it that) lasted three weeks, and that was with a girl I already knew (we were friends). I have tried searching for relationships, but I've given up because getting rejected in front of your friends really sucks :/

If I were to search though, I'd probably just hope to meet somebody in a coffee shop or something, since that seems to be the easiest way.

 

[Beauts]

I don't think you can 'find' a relationship or make a relationship happen. In my experience, these things happen naturally. If you meet someone and you like them, and they like you, then maybe a relationship will form, maybe not. I don't think being asked out or asking someone out and them accepting is a relationship either. A relationship has to have certain foundations that build up over time. I think that's a lot of people's problem- they think there's some magical formula to getting a boyfriend or girlfriend. There isn't, you have to put time and effort into these things, and relationships can form out of all sorts of different connections and whatever.

I don't think going to a club or going to school or whatever is enough. It's not gonna pop out of the ground in front of you. I've had a few relationships- two of my exes were my friends first. My third and most recent ex, I met him at random at a bar and we got to know each other by dating and spending time together. None of these relationships were formed by me actively going out and looking for a boyfriend, but that's not my style. They happened naturally over time, and sure, they didn't last but I'm only young, I didn't really have any expectations either way- I didn't expect them to last and I didn't expect them not to last.

I personally think the best bet is to have as broad a horizon as possible. If you really want to get into a relationship, you have to be willing to invest a little time, and it also depends on the chances of finding someone who is worthy of that time. That could be anyone- it could be someone from school, it could be someone you've known for years, or it could be someone you accidentally bump into down the street. If you keep an open mind about things, you will get there. But trying to force these things into happening doesn't work. If someone snaps their fingers and you come running or vice versa, there is probably more than meets the eye and that's not always a good thing. Just enjoy life

*** I should say, of my three relationships, my first was when I was 15 and lasted 6 months, my second was when I was 17 (yes I was single that whole time other than a few dates) and only lasted a month, and my third was at 18 and lasted 8 months.

 

[Raindrop14]

Erm, friend relationships I just be me and let it happen. :bleh: I actually befriended one of my best friends about four years ago, when she thought I had lice in my hair because I was wearing a hat, and her mom told her to never go near us again. But we ended up becoming friends somehow and there ya go, that's how my friendships work out, they think I'm weird and then they love me are my friends.

As far as eewwwww love relationships go...... I don't want one, soooooo I would take step # 0 and do nothing about it. ;>

 

[sailorgirl221]

i used to search for relationships everywhere, though I have recently givin up. i'm tired of the rejection and not being "good enough" so I just stopped. i figured that if it's meant to happen then it will happen and i should stop trying.

 

[Libk]

I guess it's not really searching, but I just wait where ever I go and see what happens. Maybe I'll talk to someone who will be right, maybe I won't. you never know