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Funny Personal Stories?

Joined
Jul 11, 2014
Location
The Lost Woods
Funny in retrospect, and a good parenting moment...

For some reason, escalators always freaked me out a little. So one day, when I'm younger than 10, I'm at the mall with my parents. I'm on an escalator with my dad and I say, "I HATE escalators!" Immediately the escalator stops. God, Fate, Irony, decided to stop it the exact second I said I hated it. So my dad laughed at my horrified face and told me I broke it. Mostly he was just messing with me, but I've always taken the word hate a little serious-er after that.
 

Azure Sage

Spread Smiles!
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
One of my friends who graduated high school a year before I did held a graduation pool party at his house. When it came time for dinner, sausage was served. There were some sweet and some spicy. However, I couldn't tell which was which, and I accidentally chose a spicy one. (I can't handle anything spicy.) And so, since I didn't want to be rude, I had to eat the whole thing. I stuffed my mouth with peanuts and soda after each bite to get rid of the spiciness. It was... rather grueling. I said nothing about this to anyone at the party.

Another story is about when I went to Best Buy with my dad to get a drawing tablet. My dad had accidentally got me an actual tablet for Christmas, not a drawing one, so we went there to return it. When talking to the guy at the counter, my dad said "Techno Dad didn't get the right one.", and the guy looked at me like I was a spoiled brat. It was humiliating. Later, when we were picking out a tablet, the guy who was helping us happened to ask me what grade I was in. I was in 12th grade at the time, but somehow I got tongue-tied and said "9th". When I tried to correct myself, I said "10th". My excuse was that I was sleepy. [insertsociallyawkwardpenguin.jpeg]
 

Batman

Not all those who wander are lost...
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Location
40 lights off the Galactic Rim
Gender
Dan-kin
Azure Sage said:
One of my friends who graduated high school a year before I did held a graduation pool party at his house. When it came time for dinner, sausage was served. There were some sweet and some spicy. However, I couldn't tell which was which, and I accidentally chose a spicy one. (I can't handle anything spicy.) And so, since I didn't want to be rude, I had to eat the whole thing. I stuffed my mouth with peanuts and soda after each bite to get rid of the spiciness. It was... rather grueling. I said nothing about this to anyone at the party.
I'm not going to lie; I am so turned on right now.
 

Zorth

#Scoundrel
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
I once walked into a club. Had a GREAT time, dancing, partying, doing the normal stuff. Was getting compliments on my moves, my looks, my jokes. Then I realized it was a gay club. Oh well...

One of my friends who graduated high school a year before I did held a graduation pool party at his house. When it came time for dinner, sausage was served. There were some sweet and some spicy. However, I couldn't tell which was which, and I accidentally chose a spicy one. (I can't handle anything spicy.) And so, since I didn't want to be rude, I had to eat the whole thing. I stuffed my mouth with peanuts and soda after each bite to get rid of the spiciness. It was... rather grueling. I said nothing about this to anyone at the party.
"Sausage" ;) ;) ;)
 

CynicalSquid

Swag Master General
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
Location
The End
Gender
Apache Helicopter
During lunch one day, a kid at my table kept annoying me. So, I screamed "I HAVE SIX DADS" in the middle of the cafeteria.
 

sn00pac

Greg
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Location
The Silent Realm
When I was little, I shouted "I'm naked!" To get the attention of a group of people. I wanted a cookie. Anybody who turned around, should not be near 100 yards of a playground. XD
 

Heroine of Time

Rest in peace, Paris Caper...
Joined
Aug 5, 2011
Location
Whiterun
Gender
Take a guess.
My 7th grade Social Studies teacher was a very odd one. I don't remember most of the stories from her class since it was a long time ago, but there were plenty. The one that has alway stood out in my mind is when she hid in a box to scare us. She didn't show up for class but the science teacher let us in the classroom. It was a totally normal day except for this huge cardboard box at the front of the room. One of the kids started joking about hiding under it and went over to the box and kicked it, and our teacher started laughing from underneath it. We were all stunned when we lifted it up and our teacher was under there. She said she was planning on scaring us. XD

Also, once some kids in our class tried to tease our teacher by giving a presentation on black panthers in the wild, when the presentation was supposed to be on the Black Panthers from the Civil Rights Era... but our teacher one-upped them by keeping a totally straight face and staring at the giggling class with a confused, "What? This is an important part of black history! There's a reason they chose this animal!" She was totally serious. She had no idea what we thought was funny.
 
About three years ago during my senior year in high school I had just started feeling the "slight" urge to go to the rest room. On the way I got to reeeaaally thinking about random stuff and not paying any attention as to where I was going. I get to the general area where the restrooms where and took a turn into one of 'em without looking up to see which one I was headed into. As soon as I went in I heard a load of gasps only to look up to realize that I went into the "Lady's" Room instead of the "Men's" Room. As soon as I seen which room I went to, my hands went straight to my head and in pure embarrassment I said out loud; "****... wrong room, I swear I didn't mean it!"

I had never been so embarrassed in my life. Looking back on it, I can't help but laugh at how my on random thoughts screwed my own navigation up.
 
Joined
Jul 11, 2014
Location
The Lost Woods
This one comes from my younger brother. When he was 6 or so, he learned a new word. So he was going around, skipping happily and singing, "I'm the gayest boy in school!" My mom quickly shushed him, and he was like, "But...I'm really happy today..."
 

Curmudgeon

default setting: sarcastic prick
Joined
Dec 17, 2012
Gender
grumpy
doing my duty supervising the cafeteria (some teachers got to hang out in the library or run a study hall of 8. I got stuck on the front lines in the battle against chaos and anarchy). I glance over and see two kids waiting by one of the microwaves. Write a student a pass to the library. Glance back. There is a RAGING FIRE blazing the microwave. Five people within ten feet. No reaction.

Me (shouting): HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY (pointing at microwave)
Students: Frozen like cows before an oncoming train
Me (shouting louder): UNPLUG THE ****ING MICROWAVE
Students: Paralyzed
Ninja student: Bounds over a table and pulls the plug
Fire: quenched

Crisis averted.

I had expected "Turn off the ****ing microwave" to caption my picture in the yearbook. No such luck.
 
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~Mizuki~

ALWAYS LEAVE BOX 5 OPEN
Joined
May 9, 2010
Location
...Asgard
Gender
androgynous
I was like 9 when this happened.

I was playing Kingdom Hearts and I was hungry, so I went into the kitchen and started boiling water for some ramen noodles. After I added chicken bouillon cubes to the water , I went back to playing KH . About 35 or so minutes passed I forgot about my ramen but I didn't noticed that much time has passed . When I noticed was when my brothers laughing hysterically saying, "Hey Josie, did you forget something? " I realized I had forgotten that I was boiling water for my ramen and left it boiling over for who knows how long. When I went to look at the pot, the water was completely evaporated and what was left was the dissolved bouillon cubes. I burnt water and I was teased for days about it...it wasn't my fault...nobody cared to remind me ;-;

Another incident was when I was in the sixth grade and heading out to my bus stop. I was calmly walking to it and I saw my friend, whom happens to share the same stop as me. I decided to race her there and I did beat her to it. To mark my win, I decided to LIGHTLY tap the stop sign and out if the blue it fell down. I'm like "OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONEEEE !!!!! IT WAS A COMPLETE ACCIDENT!!!"
To make it even better there was a cop driving by and he teased me by saying " aren't you a bit strong? " Me, I was completely freaking out yelling out" IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN! "

To tie it all up, my brother called me big foot for a month and my friend was laughing at me when that happened....I didn't deserve this ;-;
 
Joined
Aug 7, 2014
Location
Pennsylvania
I have two stories that kinda gp hand-in-hand.

We have a lot of barn cats since we live on a farm and most of the cats are female so that means kittens galore. The cats mostly spend their time with me down by my house and one day i saw some Jehovah Witnesses coming up the driveway. Being young and afraid, i ran inside and locked the door. They knocked a couple of times and left and i went back out to get the pamphlet they left. But then i noticed that one of the kittens was gone. THEY TOOK MY KITTEN.

I told this to my (atheist) friend and she just lost it. So every time i mention kittens or jehovah witnesses she jokes about that time. Well during the winter, the local roller skating rink is open for kids that have nothing better to do in the winter. Me and her had gone skating and we were walking out together and she spotted my mom's car so she ran toward it yelling, "DO YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST" and as soon as she said that, she slipped on the ice and ripped her pants and cut her knee. She just laid there laughing and me and my mom helped her up and i just said "Jesus is not amused"
 

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