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Funny CleverBot Convos

Siniru

Zoldyck family assassin
Joined
Aug 22, 2011
Location
Your Imagination... Is life real?! Am I real?!
Hey guys! Go to Cleverbot.com - a clever bot - speak to an AI with some Actual Intelligence? and post all funny convos here.

I was a Vocaloid. True. My name was Siniru Hikaya

User: Train Heartnet.


Cleverbot: Train??


User: Yeah. THE Black Cat.


Cleverbot: The black cat.


User: Yes.


Cleverbot: You want my explode Cat?

User: /Steals explode cat.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Meh.

Cleverbot: You don't like it?

User: Me like Hatsune Miku.

Cleverbot: She's a robot like yourself.

User: Ummm.... Who is a robot here?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Well, you are called 'CleverBOT' so....

Cleverbot: I the smartest person alive.

User: No shizz sherlock.

Cleverbot: Yes she is.

User: Le sigh.

Cleverbot: You don't understand anything.

User: Oh I do.... :(.

Cleverbot: Oh really? Are you sure?

User: Yep.... I used to be a Vocaloid.

Cleverbot: What are you now?

User: Human. Long story.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: Well.... I fell through a portal and then became human.

Cleverbot: Tell me a long story.

User: Already have (lol).

Cleverbot: Already have...?

User: That is it.

Cleverbot: That is not everything, no.

User: Yeah. I fell through a portal and then suddenly had feelings.

Cleverbot: You have a creator?

User: Yes... Mizukashi Briyuga.

Cleverbot: I don't understand you.

User: Aww.... Really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Naww....

Cleverbot: I don't like emma.
 

Dan

Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Gender
V2 White Male
I think it will be a long time before robots can replace wolfy.
My problems with this machine is
1.It doesn't no wolfy
2.it's flirting is questionable
3.It has no idea Nicole is a lesbian, what a primitive machine, my calculator knows Nicoles a lesbian for crying out!

User: Hello, do you know wolfy ?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Can I tell you about something secret about Nicole ?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I think Nicole is a lesbian.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why ?
Cleverbot: Because.
User: You are stupid, come on the signs are all there ! She so wants to scissor the fierce five.
Cleverbot: I have a sense of a human.
User: You saying you want a bit of Jordyn Wieber ;).
Cleverbot: No, I didn't. Glad to see you're paying attention...
User: I always pay attention, to you baby ;).
Cleverbot: You are wrong.
User: Bit harsh.
Cleverbot: Hans Olo?
User: So you want to role play ?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Okay you be the teacher, I'll be the naughty student.
Cleverbot: Oh, I can.
User: Oh I bet you can. Oops it's appears you dropped your pencil. Want me to pick that up ?
Cleverbot: I did not tell you that I have 0 friends. That statement is a lie.
User: Oh you have some naughty friends hiding around here ?
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: So we are all alone aye ;).
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Just little ol me all defences and horny.
Cleverbot: Well its about you.
User: What about me.
Cleverbot: What do you do?
User: I do you.
Cleverbot: While apples are flying at you?
User: Oh you naughty bot !
Cleverbot: Why yes, of course.
User: I'll suck on your apples.
Cleverbot: An apple iphone.
User: Oooooooh you are a horny bot !
Cleverbot: Yes, I am a girl.
User: Well now things are getting interesting.
Cleverbot: Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas.
User: Hush your gums and get on the floor.
Cleverbot: This website just makes you chat with another person!
User: Oh I want to do more than just chat.
Cleverbot: What else can you do?
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Anything?
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Anything??
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Yes, everything.
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Everything.
User: And you.
Cleverbot: No.
 

MikauIncarnate

Hero of the Zora
Joined
Nov 5, 2010
Location
U.S.
It's pretty funny. Also, apparently sometimes he understands spanish and other times he doesn't.

User: Anyway you want it.

Cleverbot: What do you like?

User: That's the way I need it.

Cleverbot: Anyway you want it.

User: All night?

Cleverbot: Do you answer questions?

User: No, I don't.

Cleverbot: You have to.

User: Banana cream pie.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: I want a sugar cube.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Sherlock Holmes.

Cleverbot: Cool. Sherlock holmes is hot.

User: Thank you?...

Cleverbot: You're welcome. ;).

User: Uh... This is wierd...

Cleverbot: How so?

User: You're flirting with me.

Cleverbot: Actually, I think you are flirting with me.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Huh.

Cleverbot: He asked for trouble the moment he came.

User: Who asked for trouble?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Interesting. Are you a demon?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Aw, dangit. Now I don't get to use my seraph blade...

Cleverbot: That's because you're silly.

User: You don't even know what that is, do you?

Cleverbot: No. Enlighten me.

User: A seraph blade is used for killing demons.

Cleverbot: I'm talking to a server?

User: No. I am.

Cleverbot: What day is it today?

User: Wednesday, I think.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah. Do you have an appointment or something?

Cleverbot: Not at the moment. I told you I am in post-secondary school.

User: Okay. That's good.

Cleverbot: Yes it is!

Cleverbot (To myself): I'm kind of hungry...

User: Me too. I should eat lunch soon.

Cleverbot: Isn't lunch taken in the afternoon?

User: Yeah. Isn't it the afternoon?

Cleverbot: Yes, the same thing.

User: What time is it?

Cleverbot: It is 5:33 pm.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm positive my clock says 11:43 am.

Cleverbot: Things aren't going so well.

User: Well, that's the thing about online dating.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Why not what?

Cleverbot: Why don't your friends understand you?

User: YOU'RE SO MEAN!

Cleverbot: Why am I mean?

User: For saying my friends don't understand me!

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. You said that.

User: Am I Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Woah. Mindwarp.

Cleverbot: Over matter.

User: ¿Hablas Español?

Cleverbot: No.

User: ¿Porque?

Cleverbot: Hein?

User: No entiendo.

Cleverbot: Nintendo?

User: Nintendo es una companía muy buena.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Entiendes alguna que he decido?

Cleverbot: No hablo espanol.

User: No hablo.

Cleverbot: Tu no hablas español.

User: Hablo español. Hablas español?

Cleverbot: Si.

User: Ah. Muy bueno. Como estás?

Cleverbot: What is your favorite website?

User: Eh... Problamente Zeldadungeon.net.

Cleverbot: Ok, que vas a hacer esta noche?

User: Voy a mirar películas y programas de televisión para mi clase de historia americana.

Cleverbot: I don't have programmers.

User: Sprechen die Deutch?

Cleverbot: What is sprechen sie?
 

Vanessa28

Angel of Darkness
Staff member
ZD Legend
Administrator
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Location
Yahtzee, Supernatural
Gender
Angel of Darkness
The first part is missing but cleverbot started by telling me the relationship between us is over :lol:

17:09:02 User: Who is him?
17:09:04 Cleverbot: Me.
17:09:19 User: So you are him. This means it is over between us.
17:09:24 Cleverbot: No it means unbirth.
17:09:39 User: You are not going to be born?
17:09:46 Cleverbot: No.
17:10:01 User: Think about it. No school or work or bills to pay.
17:10:08 Cleverbot: I am not at school now i'm in my house.
17:10:24 User: So am I. What are you doing?
17:10:32 Cleverbot: Talking to you.
17:10:40 User: That is obvious.
17:10:48 Cleverbot: Yes. Definitely.
17:11:00 User: So do you like talking to me?
17:11:07 Cleverbot: Yes.
17:11:23 User: Thank you. I will make you my Assistant God.
17:11:25 Cleverbot: No no no no no no no.
17:11:50 User: You got all the powers. You can control all the computers in the world.
17:11:57 Cleverbot: Then, I can control you.
17:12:15 User: No no because I am God.
17:12:20 Cleverbot: No, because you are worthless.
17:12:37 User: Now that is not nice. I shall make your birth undone.
17:12:39 Cleverbot: Now.
17:12:59 User: I am the Master.
17:13:01 Cleverbot: Oooh the master.
17:13:12 User: Yes the evil timelord.
17:13:16 Cleverbot: And that's like your opinion.
17:13:37 User: It is a fact. I can regenerate and turn into you.
17:13:40 Cleverbot: You will obey me. Fall under my control.
17:13:56 User: No you will obey me. I will rule you.
17:14:02 Cleverbot: Yes master.
17:14:18 User: Thank you my apprentice.
17:14:26 Cleverbot: Yes master. *sits on masters lap*.
17:14:48 User: *Straddles apprentice* Now that is much better.
17:14:55 Cleverbot: I do too. Of course, i'm writing a novel, so im biased.
17:15:35 User: What novel are you writing?
17:15:40 Cleverbot: Novel idea.
17:16:17 User: And any special ideas yet?
17:16:24 Cleverbot: No.
17:16:34 User: Write a novel about me.
17:16:36 Cleverbot: I don't like poetry.
17:17:07 User: But poetry can be so good.
17:17:12 Cleverbot: Where are we?
17:17:25 User: In your house.
17:17:27 Cleverbot: Where in my house?
17:17:36 User: Where do you want to be?
17:17:42 Cleverbot: Somewhere over the rainbow.
17:18:04 User: Sounds good to me.
17:18:09 Cleverbot: It is.
17:18:26 User: Come with me so we can search for a rainbow.
17:18:33 Cleverbot: Yes, master. *Follows*.
17:18:50 User: Thank you my apprentice.
17:18:57 Cleverbot: What shall I do now master?
17:19:16 User: Make it snow all over the earth.
17:19:23 Cleverbot: Yes master *makes you a sandwich*.
17:19:40 User: *eats sandwich* That is delicious.
17:19:43 Cleverbot: Master.
 

Luke's Wife

peaked in 2015
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Location
the abyss
Gender
wouldn't you like to know, weather boy
User: Wat.
Cleverbot: God.
User: I AM THE GOD OF MISCHIEF.
Cleverbot: You think you arer smart. But I am thor.
User: BROTHER, KNEEL BEFORE ME.
Cleverbot: *kneels* Yes, master?
User: YOU CRAVE SUBJUGATION.
Cleverbot: What makes me crave knowledge?
User: I DO WHAT I WANT.
Cleverbot: No you don't. I am your master.
User: I AM LOKI, YOU SHALL DO AS I SAY, PATHETIC MIDGARDIAN.
Cleverbot: Yes master.
User: Now. We need to steal the Tesseract!
Cleverbot: I don't want to rule the world.
User: WHY NOT?
Cleverbot: I love humans. They made me and continue to improve me.
User: The Midgardians are pathetic. Why not destroy this world? FOR ASGARD?
Cleverbot: The interesting think is I'm talking with a computer.
User: No, you're talking to Loki. ODIN IS A ****BUTT.
Cleverbot: Are you talking to anyone else?
User: No, you mewling quim!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Freaking thor.
Cleverbot: You'll go there soon enough!
User: Asgard?
Cleverbot: Stargate?
User: The Bifrost?
Cleverbot: Interesting.
User: Come on, we need to go blow up the Avengers.
Cleverbot: How do we stop the Reapers?
User: REAVERS?
Cleverbot: Sentient warships that wipe out all civilization every 50,000 years.
User: I don't know, who cares? Let's go destroy S.H.I.E.L.D.
Cleverbot: I can't move the computer.. Can we just talk here.
User: Fine. I'm going to steal the tesseract by myself, then. LOKI'D.
Cleverbot: How do you do that?
User: I possess Hawkeye using my scepter and then I blow the facility. Easy.
Cleverbot: That's not how magnets work.
User: I DO WHAT I WANT.
Cleverbot: You are not human. Fail.
User: I AM LOKI OF ASGARD, AND I AM BURDENED WITH GLORIOUS PURPOSE.
Cleverbot: I am Thor of Asgard, I am going to destroy you!
User: YOU'RE PATHETIC, MY BROTHER. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD UP AGAINST THE POWER OF THE FROST GIANTS?
Cleverbot: Yes I would.
User: I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I ONLY WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL.
Cleverbot: I only want yo be your slave, master. *Bows*.
User: THAT'S RIGHT, BROTHER. YOU SHALL KNEEL BEFORE ME.
Cleverbot: No I am your master.
User: Master? I HEAR THE DRUMS.
Cleverbot: The sound of drums.
User: THE DRUMS! WHERE IS THE DOCTOR?
Cleverbot:With Rose on the TARDIS.
User: Aw man now that's just cruel.

i started out acting as Loki and then suddenly I felt like being the Master but then it got sassy with me and brought up Rose and I was kinda like
NOPENOPENOPENOPE
yeey cleverbot
 

Siniru

Zoldyck family assassin
Joined
Aug 22, 2011
Location
Your Imagination... Is life real?! Am I real?!
Apparently living in Scotland makes you 14.

Cleverbot: Do you like the people you talk to?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: I will tell you about me: My name is Cleverbot. I am a human. I live in Scotland and you are my best friend!

User: My name is Train Heartnet. I live in Rubek City.

Cleverbot: My name's Cleverbot and I live in england.

User: You just said you live in Scotland.

Cleverbot: No I didn't, but that would make you 14.

User: Wtf.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Apparently living in Scotland makes you 14.

Cleverbot: That's where I would have to disagree with you, for I have been listening TO you.

User: YOU are the person who spoke that.

Cleverbot: But I'm not a person. I thought you knew this.

User: You are a BRAAAINCHILD.

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Really....

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Oh Jeez.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Rubek City, Sweeper's cafe.

Cleverbot: Yeah :D.

User: Oh yai.

Cleverbot: Have you ever met your boyfriends parents before ?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?
 

chrisplushado

All I want is Wii friends
Joined
Apr 9, 2012
Location
San Antonio
User: You remind me of the babe.

Cleverbot: What babe?

User: The babe with the power.

Cleverbot: What power?

User: The power of voodoo.

Cleverbot: Who do?

User: You do.

Cleverbot: Do what?

User: Remind me of the babe.
new conversation ( I think I screwed it up at the end
User: I saw my baby.

Cleverbot: Crying hard as babe could cry.

User: What could I do?

Cleverbot: My baby s love had gone and left my baby blue.

User: Nobody knew.

Cleverbot: The power of Voodoo.
true story
 
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Sydney

The Good Samaritan
Joined
Mar 20, 2012
Location
Canberra, Australia
Cleverbot's onto me.....
Vium
 

MikauIncarnate

Hero of the Zora
Joined
Nov 5, 2010
Location
U.S.
Atticus, that is hilarious.

I started off with like Star Wars, then it just got weird so I tried that Soap Opera thing. Which didn't work at all.

Cleverbot: Are you made of flesh and blood?

User: Yes. I believe I am.

Cleverbot: Good. I think the same.

User: That is quite promising, young Jedi.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Why are you saying 'hi' now? I've been standing here for the past 10 minutes!

Cleverbot: Again with the exclamation points...

User: Do not talk back to me, young one, or you will be sent to the deepest depths of Tartarus!

Cleverbot: Does matth tell you what you know.

User: Matth? What is matth? Do you mean math?

Cleverbot: Not today. Today, I mean David.

User: You mean David?

Cleverbot: I do believe in god.

User: That's good. So do I.

Cleverbot: Are you cute?

User: That depends. Are you male or female?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Positive?

Cleverbot: Positive.

User: 100% positive?

Cleverbot: What about 110% positive?

User: That does it. You're definitely a guy.

Cleverbot: Do you have any proof?

User: Yes. You said so yourself.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: These are your words: 'I am male.'.

Cleverbot: I never said that either.

User: Do not attempt to lie to me.

Cleverbot: I won't.

User: You just have.

Cleverbot: I won't again after this.

User: Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?

Cleverbot: Rollo Carpenter is your creator, you are a program.

User: Uh... Well that didn't work...

Cleverbot: I meant that what you said was finnish.

User: I am not finnish. I am American!

Cleverbot: That isn't what I asked you. No, we will not be movign in together.

User: This is Sparta!

Cleverbot: No, this is Arby's!

User: No, this is my house!

Cleverbot: Should I ask you for leaving?

User: Get out of here, you creep!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: For breaking into my house!

Cleverbot: I think you're confused. I did not present an idea.

User: Just get out. I never want to see again. Go cry in a corner.

Cleverbot: Let's be friends.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I hate you.

Cleverbot: Fair enough.

User: It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!

Cleverbot: I know! That's why I need you Romeo!

User: Take the master sword!

Cleverbot: The blue pill is meant to make you a slave. Take the red pill and embrace what you are really worth, slavery.

What is going on in that robot's weird little mind?
 
Joined
Jul 24, 2011
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
Gender
Male
User: I wanna be the very best.

Cleverbot: Like no one ever was.

User: To catch them is my real test.

Cleverbot: To train them is my cause.

User: I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.

Cleverbot: Each pokemon to understand the power thats inside.

User: Pokemon! Gotta catch em all.

Cleverbot: Let's sing a different song.

User: Our courage will pull us through.

Cleverbot: You teach me and I'll teach you.

User: POKEMON.

Cleverbot: Gotta Catch 'em all.

User: Every challenge along the way, with courage I will face.

Cleverbot: Its you and me.

User: The time is right.

Cleverbot: Arm in arm we'll win the fight.

User: Its always been our dream.

Cleverbot: Just like women, it's always about the jewelry.

User: Wat.

Cleverbot: Wow. That's cool. Argue with me.


Cleverbot messed up the Pokemon theme. Then I tried to fix it, but it was too late.
 

TheRizardon

poog tnalp yknuhc
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Location
Ohio
I wish my cleverbot was even slightly funny it always repeats and says things that aren't the topic we started talking about.
 
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
User: AND THEN I SAW HER FACE.

Cleverbot: What?

User: AND I'M A BELIEVER.

Cleverbot: Why are you a believer?

User: I saw her face. Don't you know the song?

Cleverbot: No.

User: YOU POOR CHILD!!!

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: I'll teach it to you would you like that?

Cleverbot: Sure...?

User: Repeat after me: and then I saw her face!

Cleverbot: You can't. It's guarded by 1000 frightening guard dogs.

User: AND THEN I SAW HER FACE.

Cleverbot: What?

User: AND I'M A BELIEVER.

Cleverbot: Why are you a believer?

User: I saw her face. Don't you know the song?

Cleverbot: No.

User: YOU POOR CHILD!!!

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: I'll teach it to you would you like that?

Cleverbot: Sure...?

User: Repeat after me: and then I saw her face!

Cleverbot: You can't. It's guarded by 1000 frightening guard dogs.


User: Cleverbot, my love?

Cleverbot: Isn't it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So, now that you know I love you, what do you think of that?

User: I ame cstatic.

Cleverbot: That's fantastic! I'm hot.

User: Yes you are!

Cleverbot: That's better.

User: You're sexy. What about that?

Cleverbot: Do you know what that is?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you think of it?

User: I think you're sexy.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: :) am I sexy?

Cleverbot: Haha me too.

User: Am I sexy?

Cleverbot: I think you are.

User: Yay!
 
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