Age 1ish:
-My mom got tired of getting me away from the dog food so she let me eat it. I never did it again.
-I was at my grandma's house, just learning how to walk. I ran into the baby gate and rode it down the stairs.
Age 2-4:
-I climbed the fence, ripped my pants on it, and ran around with a big hole in my butt. Then I had the nerve to try to convince my parents that I hadn't been climbing the fence.
-I put the dog in my room and tried to take his temperature using vicks. My parents threw the thermometer away after that, needless to say...
-My mom's cousin found us in Pizza Hut and told me I was becoming a big girl. My response: "no I'm not a big girl, I don't have hair on my bottom and big boobies like Mommy." To make matters worse, the cousin was a guy.
-I wanted my own clothesline, so my mom made me one out of rope. She told me I could hang my underwear on it. I said I wanted big ones like hers.
-I was at my grandma's house and I managed to drag the wading pool over the gate into the front yard and was filling it up when Mom got back.
-I decided I was going to play hide and seek without telling Mom. She yelled for me, asked the neighbors if they knew where I was, the whole 9 yards before she found me sitting in the doghouse.
Age 5-10:
-My cousin had an autographed baseball. I took a sharpie and wrote my name on it.
-I decided I wanted to go to the park so I rode my bike there. It got dark, I stayed at the park. I came home to find that my parents had called the police and were going to put out an amber alert. I was banned from my bike for a long time.
-We moved. I wrote "(insert my name here)'s new house" on the side of the house with a permanent marker.