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General Art Fire Emblem: The Destiny (Story)

Go_Skyward

Seek a door that carries a [9]
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Location
Nevada Test Site
Prologue:

The battlefield. You can hear the cold blooded screams of the dying, the cries of the innocent, and the roar of the enemy. It's a pitch-black and cold night, everything feels so... distant. Sweat with a sweet mixture of blood flows down our protagonists' temple.
Just a little longer, this is for everyone...
The loud clashing of weapons grew violently louder as our hero joined the fray once more. The hero swung his blade around like a madman and yet, at the same time, it looked... majestic. Almost like a dance. He cut down the enemies like twigs.

WHOOSH!
A... bird? No! A fast and furious javelin slit through the night aimed right for the hero's head.
The hero tried to dodge but the javelin gracefully sliced his cheek.
"GAH!" The hero almost lost his footing and composer over the cut.
"Surrender or she dies." The owner of the javelin bluntly stated as he then held in front of him a crying young woman.

They had lost, scarcely outnumbered and many dead.
"I... let her... go... my life for her's spared." The protagonist spoke.

"NO!" The woman cried into the night sky.
The hero fell to his knees, "Finish.... it."

The owner of the javelin raised an axe high in the air to where it was visible to any of the heroes comrades.
"Let this be a warning to those who defie the empire! LONG LIVE KING MAERON!" The axe came swiftly down for the kill....


(hello all. This is my first shot at a story on ZD! It is also my first Fire Emblem story... well... this is more of a crossover.
I am still looking for characters so feel free to join here: http://zeldadungeon.net/forum/f85/fire-emblem-destiny-sign-ups-33042.html
Chapter one will be up soon... sorry for this being a little late. I will hopefully get at least one chapter up every week :3
Oh, this is just the prologue. It'll keep you in suspense for a while xD.)
 

The Nahobino

Nahobino
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
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My Fantasy World
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Hey, it was probably a bit late but worth it, despite being a short prelude/prologue. I like what you gave us here, you let us know that a battle is taking place and the heroes apparently got the worst of it. But you are right, I am now curious to see where this leads too. I will be expecting your next update. ~Gobli
 

Go_Skyward

Seek a door that carries a [9]
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Location
Nevada Test Site
Hey, it was probably a bit late but worth it, despite being a short prelude/prologue. I like what you gave us here, you let us know that a battle is taking place and the heroes apparently got the worst of it. But you are right, I am now curious to see where this leads too. I will be expecting your next update. ~Gobli
It was a bit late because I was trying to see if I could write the first chapter and post it along with this prologue (I honestly wrote this prologue a few days ago... :sweat:). I have two alt starts of first chapters, I may just combine the two though. Anyways, about my prologue, I wanted to keep the characters names and locations as vague as possible so that's why the main character is just called 'the hero'. Also, I'm glad you like it so far. Good to have feedback from other writers no? xD

Looks pretty good so far. ^^ Can't wait for more. :)
Thanks Rainy, hopefully, I can get the first chapter up by the end of this week at the latest. The chapters will hopefully be longer than this prologue and I hope to update at least once a week, as I said before and I intend to keep to my word... c:
 

Go_Skyward

Seek a door that carries a [9]
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Location
Nevada Test Site
Chapter 1

The slums. Aren’t they pretty? There are the poor sodding people sitting on the sides of the roads, begging for money. Illegal merchants on the streets, scamming your coin. And last, but not least, the sickly run down homes that look like if you poked them they’d collapse. What does this have to do with anything? Everything. It’s where our main character, Lance Flinn Tolken lives.

Lance was chopping wood, and also doing whatever he could to make money. His family consisted of his mother and his little sister, Grace. It seems like a normal life right? Not entirely. You see, some odd noble came to visit Lance’s mother, Jewel, recently. Lance didn’t know what to make of it. For some reason when this stuck up noble came by his mother seemed... happy...? Was this noble trying to 'woo' his mother over? All these questions whirled through Lance's mind.

Lance started to head home, he completely ignored the bellows of the merchants and made sure he kept his hand in his pocket to protect his coin purse from sly pickpocketers.

"Brother!" Grace yelped as she ran towards Lance. Her light green hair flew threw the air as she ran.

"G-Grace..." Lance quietly said as Grace squeezed him for a hug.

She stopped and twirled around in her brown tattered dress as if it was a princesses gown. It was her favorite, you could tell because of the many sewing marks.

"Mr. Noble is here!" She said excitedly.

Lance just sighed and pointed for her to lead the way back, even though he'd walked these roads his whole life. Just as Grace said the noble, who they still hadn't learned his name of, was here. But it was different this time, the noble brought his daughter. You could tell from her vivid facial expression and the fact she was lifting the bottom of her fancy dress so it would not touch the ground, that she was not happy with being here. You could hear from her complaints that she might have felt the dirt from the roads would come alive and attack her.

Lance shook his head while Grace left her brother's side and greeted the noble's daughter. The daughter did not seem pleased at all, then she saw Lance.

"EKKK!" She cried, "Oh no, no, NO! Your clothes... they're filthy! That... brown? What color are you even wearing! Do you peasants even wash yourselves?!"

He looked down at his apparel, seeing nothing wrong with it. The brown color, which was previously tan, matched the dirt. The only thing the dark brown color of mud did for him was make his dark blue eyes stand out.

The noble daughter spoke again, "And your hair. I bet you don't even wash that at all. I can't tell whether your hair is brown or black, there is so much dirt!"

Lance shrugged, "Its... black. But with all the work I do my appearance doesn't matter."

"That's enough Rose!" The noble father firmly stated, "I know you don't want to be here. But it's good for you to see outside the mansion."

"But father! Why do we... why do you even care for these freaks." Rose spoke bluntly.

"Walton..." Lance's mother spoke softly. She stroked her tattered her long, light green hair.

"Ms. Tolken. I apologize for my daughter's behavior. She has never seen the hardships the commoners go through. Now, let us go inside your lovely house, shall we?"

Ms. Tolken nodded and opened the door to their house, the door creaked loudly almost like it was going to fall off its hinges. Ms. Tolken clenched her teeth, it was worse than usual. The five of them walked into the house to see a small, one bedroom house. There was only one bed within the house and a very tiny kitchen. Rose was about to start complaining again but her father gave her a glare.

"I have a proposal to make, Jewel." Walton spoke firmly, "I propose. ... You marry me."

All three of the children, Rose, Grace, and Lance, reacted at the same time.

"WHAT! Father no!"

"Oh hurray!"

"...stupid..."

Jewel closed her eyes for a brief moment then spoke, "Yes, Sir Walton, I accept your proposal."

Life as a noble... had begun.

(Oh my! I had to dig this up on the writing forum. Everyone posts quick! Anyways, chapter 1 of The Destiny is here! *in case you are reading the bottom first >>*
I WOULD have had this posted last Thursday or Friday... but I was delayed because of a 'family trip'. I wasn't informed of this trip until the night before the trip. Wonderful. I would have had Zelda Ali Baba post this for me, but she didn't. She doesn't like 'hacking' me... I guess... anyways! I have the first part of chapter two started! Hopefully, I can have these posted every Monday/Tuesday. Depending on what happened during the week. Cheers! The good stuff where the characters start coming in will be here soon :D
Rose is such a mary-sue character... thank God shed doesn't have much of a role in this story. xD)
 
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Go_Skyward

Seek a door that carries a [9]
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Location
Nevada Test Site
Slows down from the prologue, but that's to be expected.

All in all it seems that something is building up and I can't wait to read more! :D
The slow down was to be expected indeed. Don't worry, I won't spend too long on a slow down. Everything will hopefully pick back up soon by the 2nd or 3rd chapter (most likely 3rd. I a bit more characters to throw in, that are minor but important nonetheless.) Hopefully, I do good with this story c:

It's definitely a great lead-in to the story! I like Lance's character so far.

A question - would you like us to critique as well? I'm just curious; we'll do whatever suits you, whether it be reading and commenting or critiquing!
Lance HAS been my character for almost 3 years now! I hope all that time making him into someone memorable pays off! xD

I would LOVE a critique. I do want to improve my stories so that my readers can understand and get what I you know, getting at in my story. So feel free to critique it c:
 

The Nahobino

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My Fantasy World
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Good chapter, I enjoyed reading all that. ;) So we have a poor family who's gone noble all of a sudden! Awesome, can't wait to read how this mixes up things in the story. Btw, found something that perhaps you can correct if you want.

Ms. Tolken clenched her teeth, it was worse that usual. ((than))
 

blue-eyes

Phoenix
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Location
Among the stars
This is rally good, and I dislike the character Rose, just because of the way she acts. It is a really good start to the story, and better than the prologue. I enjoyed reading it.
 

Go_Skyward

Seek a door that carries a [9]
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Location
Nevada Test Site
Good chapter, I enjoyed reading all that. ;) So we have a poor family who's gone noble all of a sudden! Awesome, can't wait to read how this mixes up things in the story. Btw, found something that perhaps you can correct if you want.

Ms. Tolken clenched her teeth, it was worse that usual. ((than))
It does play a bit of a role c: I am glad you enjoyed reading it!

I could have sworn I typed than over that. I'll go fix it. Thanks for pointing that out c:

This is rally good, and I dislike the character Rose, just because of the way she acts. It is a really good start to the story, and better than the prologue. I enjoyed reading it.
The sole purpose of Rose is to stereotype the rest of the nobles. Thankfully, she doesn't have too much of a role in this story (unless for some un-godly reason I give her some important role. Won't happen xD)
You like my first chapter more than my prologue? Sweet! Thanks for reading c:
 

Go_Skyward

Seek a door that carries a [9]
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Location
Nevada Test Site
Chapter 2

"Lance, hon, wake up. The nobles will be here soon." spoke a soft voice.

"Mmm... mom?" a young male voice replied.

"Lance. Good you're awake. Now hurry and get ready, I don't want to... look bad in front of the other nobles. We have to make a good impression for your father."

Lance got up and changed into more "formal" clothes. At this moment, he didn't care to eat, hell, he didn't even care that some nameless nobles would be visiting. Despite the fact that he himself, was now a noble he could care less even more than he already did. He didn't care if he made his mother and his step father ashamed to call him "son". Lance and his family, aside from his step father and step sister, were all commoners within the last month. Now, everything was always handed to you on a silver plate. You wanted to clean your own plate? Nope, the servants always politely asked you to sit back down while they did all the work. I know, this doesn't sound bad. But Lance, who had always had to do everything himself, did not like this one bit.

Lance didn't want anything to do with anyone, the only thing he liked about being a noble was he had more than enough free time to practice his sword fighting skills. He would spend hours just perfecting his skills. But, while Lance was good at sword fighting he was also... different.. from the other sword fighters. He was left handed. In the continent of Tellius, left handed people where shunned; they were claimed to be witches and said to cast curses on everyone. Of course, Lance isn't evil. He always shrugged people off and said, "If they aren't abusing the laguz or other beorc, they are shunning left handed people. That's politics for you."

Lance walked into the large courtyard in the middle of Sir Walton's mansion. It was a centerpiece of perfection. The grass in the middle was a glorious green. Around the outskirts where the grass ended on the rectangle shaped courtyard were tall pearl white pillars that stretched to the giant ceilings. These ceilings where made of glass and could be seen right through the top, a feature Lance made fun of, I mean, who in their right mind would climb all the way up to the top of Walton's mansion to peek in? There really was no logic there.

About halfway up the pillars was the second floor, where all the bedrooms were. Lance's room was closest to the stairs heading down to the courtyard, Grace's room was the one right next Lance's, and Rose's bedroom was a few doors down from the sibling's rooms. At the end of the hall was the magnificent master bedroom, and it is quite clear which two people in this story sleep there. The rest of the rooms were either empty or claimed by maids, servants and various other people Walton hired.

Lance waltz down their long spiraling stairs to his area of the courtyard where he practiced.

"Sir Lance! Your mother requested you not practice before Sir Aiden and his betrothed arrives." One of the female servants told Lance.

"Tell my mother," he paused and signaled the servant to get closer, "That... I DO NOT CARE!"

The servant stumbled back, "But... Sir?"

"I'm sorry, miss. I was practicing being a stuck up noble. Did I do alright?" Lance said with a smirk.

"Err... fine, Sir." The servant awkwardly walked away, not sure what to make of what just happened.

Grace then ran down the stairs at full speed and right toward Lance.


"BROTHER!" Grace yelled as she stopped right in front of Lance. "Don't I look pretty?"

She twirled in her new white dress with a red accent on the hems.

Lance laughed, he always loved it when his little sister was happy, "You look beautiful." He said, taking hold of her hand. "Twirl."


Grace spun in a circle with Lance guiding her. The two of them laughed and smiled.

A male servant appeared behind the two, "Excuse me. Sir Lance, Lady Grace, Sir Aiden and his betrothed are here."

Grace looked up at Lance, "Hehe. We better go!" She let go of her brother's hand, "C'mon brother!" And with that she ran out of the courtyard.

Lance sighed, he figured he'd just be an embarrassment to his parents. He simply pulled his blade out from his scabbard he was wearing, something he always wore. He held the iron blade in front of himself and sighed at his own reflection. "Needs to be cleaned", he thought referring to the blade and himself.

--

"Hold on to my coat. Make sure it doesn't wrinkle." A noble spoke to one of Walton's servants, "Darling, you need one of these peasants to hold anything for you?" Before his betrothed could answer, Walton and his wife, Jewel, approached the two of them.

"Good day to you, future prince." Walton spoke while taking a small bow.

"No need to be so formal, Walton. Our families have known each other for a long time. Now, didn't you say you remarried? It tis still a shame your old wife died. Where is your new wife?" The 'future prince' said cockily.


"This is she." Walton took the arm of Jewel.

"Oh? I didn't know you took an interest in peasants. I'm surprised you didn't marry, you know, to get more wealth." The prince rolled his eyes.


"Aiden, dear boy. You still have yet to learn the meaning of love." Walton smiled.

"Oh.... well... this is my betrothed. The Princess of Crimea, Kristiana."

Grace had finished coming up the stairs and heard most of the conversation, "Hello Princess Kristiana! I'm Grace. I'm not a princess but I want to be!" Grace smiled and took a bow.

Kristiana smiled and laughed, "She is quite the cute one, isn't she Aiden?"

"Yes, yes. Quite cute. Now, uncle, didn't you write that your new wife also has a son?"


Jewel spoke up, "Yes, I do have a son. He should be... either in his room or the courtyard. I'll send someone to retrieve him."

Aiden smirked, "I'm surprised uncle. From the way she speaks you wouldn't mistake her for a peasant."

Lance walked up the stairs, "Oh... the nobles are here... wow."

Aiden looked upon Lance in disgust, Walton and Jewel looked ashamed, and Kristiana was trying to keep from laughing.

Lance was covered in a tasty mix of dirt and sand mixed with some scratches and some blood. He had open wounds on his cheeks and his left arm. His right arm had his armor on it, which covered his arm from his wrist up to the top of his shoulder, and it was covered in soil and grass. The rest of his armor looked brown and green but it appeared to be blue armor previously.

"Well... once a peasant, always a peasant is his case, isn't it uncle." Aiden said in revolsion.


"Aiden, we have only been here... for a month now... you can't just expect..."

Lance rolled his eyes and sighed, "Look, I was going to clean up but you guys came WAY too early. Now, out of my way, you are in front of my room."

"How DARE you, leach! Do you know who you are addressing?!"


Lance laughed and shook his head, "A... nameless noble who thinks he's too good for himself? And his pampered 'betrothed'?"

"How... you don't know you are addressing the future king and queen of Crimea! You blue blooded fool! I should behead you for that!" Aiden yelled as he pointed his finger at Lance.

"Aiden." Walton interrupted.

Aiden glared at Walton, "We must speak. I'll take my leave of the leach." Aiden walked away from the party with Walton following close behind him. Jewel looked ashamed of not Lance, but herself, she slowly crept away. Leaving Kristiana and Lance alone.

Kristiana shook her head and laughed then tenseness of the air seemed to clear as Aiden cleared the area, "It's about time someone brought him down a peg or two!"

Lance was a bit shocked by her reply, she was a noble and the princess nonetheless!

"So... you're the princess? I've been a commoner... err..." Lance stuttered, he'd never apologized to a noble, aside from his mother recently.

"It's alright. I'll admit, if you don't want to lose your head... you should keep your mouth shut."

Lance smirked, "You talk a lot of smack for a noble..."

Kristiana shrugged, "Yeah, when I was little my mother and I used to visit the commoners. I played with all the little children."

"I'm... a bit surprised honestly..." Lance looked down. He, for some reason after that statement, recognized her. Not as a princess, but as an old friend. Something about her bright, short, red hair. He rosy cheeks and her height. When he stood in front of her, they appeared to be the same height. He'd swear he'd seen her before, he just couldn't remember where.

Kristiana sighed, "Well. I better return to my betrothed, even though I'd rather not. I will... hopefully see you again." She then smiled and politely walked away.

That moment was the last time he saw her.

(hey all! Chapter 2 is up and right when I said it would be! Don't worry, this is the last time its all slow stuff. Next chapter stuff gets real. I didn't really explain what Aiden or Kristiana looked like because I couldn't find a way to put it in there around all this dialog. I hate all this dialog, but its needed. Makes you hate Aiden and like people like Walton and Kristiana, amiright? anyways. Like I said, there will hopefully be less dialog in the next chapter.)
 
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