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General Art Fire And Ice (DC Superhero Story)

blue-eyes

Phoenix
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Location
Among the stars
OK guys it's finally here! (for the four who've been waiting). So you guys know, this is a DC superhero story, focusing on a group of younger superhero's organized by the Justice League of America. I don't know enough DC stuff to make everything work exactly to Canon, so basically, it's the parts of the DC Universe I know/like, and my own stuff. I am not accepting anymore characters. I hope you all enjoy

This story is dedicated to Hero of Time, Raindrop, Gobli, and Violet, for being so nice for all the times I've known them, for being good people to RP with (even if I put them on the spot(Hero)), and good people to talk with. And for writing some of the best stories I've read.

Chapter 1

"GET DOWN FROM THERE!" A man yelled, waving a pistol at Aaron. "Probably the person who lives here" Arron thought before shrugging and skillfully jumping off of the two-story roof, landing on the man's truck, then the ground. He smiled at the man, who waved the gun again. Aaron sped up, running until he found his way onto the main street.

The large crowds were easy to navigate through, as he gently pushed people out of his way. He went down an alleyway, to a less crowded area of Metropolis, on the outskirts. He checked his reflection in a puddle of rainwater, he looked average, with his brown hair, bangs at the eyebrows. His blue eyes (hey that's me!) shined, even in the reflection. He continued walking for a while, until he came across a bank. He tried to walk inside, but the doors were locked. That was odd. He could see an outline of a few people standing up. That was odd as well. He backed up, and ran towards the door. His eyes seemed to glow as a spike of ice shot from the ground, breaking down the locked door. Four masked men looked towards him, before raising their rifles.

"I don't think so," Aaron said, before walking forwards. Sounds of automatic gunfire filled the marble room, as well as the sound of ice breaking. The four masked men couldn't believe their eyes. A wall of ice had blocked all the bullets. Aaron sprinted towards one of the men. He jumped, vaulting over the man, who turned around, swing the back of his rifle towards Aaron's head. He sidestepped, then grabbed the barrel of the rifle, which started melting. Aaron slammed his fist into the man's face, knocking him out. Aaron quickly froze two of the other men before the fourth man shot at him.

"Why would you do that when you saw what I did to your friends?" Aaron asked, looking at the man, who was at least 100 pounds heavier than the scrawny 16 year old. The fourth man ran towards Aaron, before he was shot up by a pillar of ice, then was froze to the ceiling. Aaron left, after calling the cops and checking on everyone.

*1 HOUR LATER*​

Aaron was sitting in a diner, eating a burger and watching the sun set over the horizon. He heard the bell ring as the door opened and didn't register who came in, until he sat across from him.

"Nice job with that robbery, kid. Got there faster than me. Impressive." Aaron looked up, right into the eyes of Superman.
 

Mido

Version 1
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Location
The Turnabout
I've heard from others that you're writing is well-done. I like your opening chapter! It's simple, but it works well! Your vivid use of language in descriptions are definitely the gem of this chapter, as well as your basic introduction of Aaron. (Even though I'm not one of the four people listed, I'm sold on your story as of now!) :yes:
 

*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
Gender
Entity
1st of all, I thank you kindly for the dedicatory. Wow, you're the first one who did this for me, you honor me. I will probably share the spot you've given me with my best friend Magatha. :yes:

And well, you've been a good pal as well, Bluee, so when I finish my God Wars Trilogy there will surely be a special dedicatory that will feature all the peeps I dedicate the books to. You know Bluee will be there. :)

And now about your story. I'm glad you finally posted it. So right to the action eh? It was cool how Arron took care of those thugs, or bank robbers. :P And then at the end be greeted by Superman. I can't wait to see what this story develops into, so keep up the good work, Bluee.
 

Magatha

Magatha
Joined
Aug 15, 2010
Location
Somewhere with wireless internet...
Cool beginning. I think this may be the first DC comics story I've seen here at ZD and I'm glad you let me be a part of it.

As a comic book fan with lots of DC comics, I will happily read this and I don't mind at all if it doesn't quite follow Cannon. I'm sure you will do a great job telling the story. :D
 

Myriadviper42

Fulcrum Agent
Joined
Feb 14, 2010
Location
Control
Nice work, Blue. Pretty short, but to the point. A suggestion for you-perhaps you could give a bit more detail and be a bit less direct in your retelling of events. "Show, don't tell." Like, perhaps you could have described Superman's appearance before introducing him as the superhero we all know, or perhaps go into a bit more detail on his thoughts than "That was odd." Regardless, it's a good start, and you can only get better from here.
 

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