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Falling out of love amicably

Have you ever fallen out of love in a relationship amicably, where the feelings have slowly gone away or love has turned to friendship and can no longer reach the previous depth of the relationship?

If it hasn't happened to you have you known anyone it has happened to?
 

Spiritual Mask Salesman

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I don't feel like I've ever been in love yet. But I have had a few relationships where things ended ok because we both talked and agreed to move on and date other people, and we're still friends to this day. I'm not going to say things can't change in the future, but for now I don't see any of those relationships getting rekindled.
 

Misty

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I don't want to outright say that isn't a thing, because it may very and entirely well be a thing...
but my personal conspiracy theory is that it was never love in the first place. It was infatuation, lust, self delusion, or it was always a friendship and those people just misconstrued what their connection was.

I believe you can reach a point in love where for a variety of legitimate reasons it is no longer possible or healthy for you to continue a relationship with that person, but I do not think the love would ever really go away if it was there to begin with. I imagine for example a parent who disapproves of their child's life choices refusing to continue watching their self-destruction (and vice versa)...but I don't think that means the parent ceases to love the child. I equally imagine similar feelings can exist between two people "in love".

I think the confusion comes from how liberally we apply "love" and how quick we are to want to see a relationship or a stronger connection than truly exists. (Or maybe that's just me).

I'm not friends with any of my Exs and retrospect tells me that I did not truly love any of them and that they did not truly love me (despite at the time believing and acting as if I did and saying so and the same from them).
 

el :BeoWolf:

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I'll report back if I ever get a relationship

Honestly it's better if the relationship ends quietly before the couple gets bitter and resentful of each other
 

Ninja

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My first long term relationship was this way.

We met on a Dbz website with a chat, and started talking for awhile, and eventually fell in love and started a near 4 year relationship. I was convinced she was my soul mate, however as we started to grow up and take on adult responsibilities, we slowly began to understand that our relationship was coming to an end.

It’s crazy, we talked about marriage, kids, values, how we would spend our entire lives together. As time went on, our feelings for each other started to fade, and we both realized this and ended it mutually.

It was very hard at first, we were both hurt for a long time, however realistically it was the right thing to do.

We are both married now actually, and even though we haven’t talked in years, I am happy that she is happy. She’s always going to have a place in my heart. Instead of it being love, her place is a very fond memory of an amazing woman that helped me through hard times, and for that I will always be grateful.
 

Beauts

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Have you ever fallen out of love in a relationship amicably, where the feelings have slowly gone away or love has turned to friendship and can no longer reach the previous depth of the relationship?

If it hasn't happened to you have you known anyone it has happened to?
I definitely had that happen in a previous relationship. When you’ve been with someone for a long time your feelings can change. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone and tbh I’m a great disbeliever in the idea that you need to hate your exes. Eventually sometimes you become more like friends or family and that’s fine, though it’s own sadness comes with it.
 

Dio

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I think this is highly unlikely to be a thing. I have known a pair of besties try to be boyfriend and girlfriend and then went back to being besties. This is because there was no real romantic love there between them. And I think that this is the case for any couple who might appear to fall out of love amicably. They are likely not really in love to begin with and they only have a friendship.
 
D

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This is just my opinion, so make of it what you will, but it's important to not confuse "love" with "romance". Love is much deeper than romance, in which romance is where you feel sexually-attracted to another based on personality, looks, or anything else that makes them appear appealing. Love is unconditional and given freely, in which you would do anything (or more importantly give anything) to ensure another's happiness.

What you're describing seems to be a loss of luster in a relationship, in which what you fantasized or believed to be attractive no longer appears to be what you desired or needed. It happens to everyone, and it's nothing to be ashamed of if that's the case. The best way to approach that sort of scenario is to ask yourself "what you need" because more often than not it won't appear in the way you expect or desire it to. Those are my two Rupees for you, so I hope they help in whatever manner of advice you take away from it. I'm sorry if you're going through a hard time or a dull phase; we've all been there.
 

TheGreatCthulhu

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It can happen, and I've seen it happen to some of my friends, but I firmly believe that they just weren't right for each other, at least to be in a relationship.

Lust, romance, and attraction aren't really love though. Zelda206 pretty much hit the nail on the head, though I would describe it more like your true love is your best friend. They accept you for who you are, they encourage you to be a better person, and they love you for who you are, not some fantasized, highly romanticized version of yourself.
 

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