Explaining Bad Grades

[A.rae]

How do you show your parents bad grades? More importantly, how do you prevent them from being insanely angry? I'll have about 2 B's and 3 C's in my classes after finals(hopefully) and I need to tell my parents and keep them from exploding out of anger. They tend to put a lot of pressure on me when it comes to grades.
What do you tell your parents

 

[Curmudgeon]

My general strategy was to not get bad grades.

Failing that, you best learn how to be accountable when you screw up. Tell the truth.

 

[Terminus]

Like Curm said, don't.

Also If I had anything below an 85% my parents would seize all of my interesting belongings in the misguided belief that misery would make me study.

 

[Aurelia]

I remember I would tell my parents "well at least I still have good health", but once I said that they looked at me like they were going to kill me.

But if all else fails, just do better next time and accept your fate if you mess up again.

 

[Mellow Ezlo]

My parents don't care about grades. If I come home with a C, they don't care (as long as I don't fail). I actually disagree with pressuring students to get good grades. To me, as long as the student tries hard to do the best they can, any grade would suffice. If my kids came home with Cs, I wouldn't care. It's the effort that counts.

 

[Clank]

As a smart professor told me, effort + brains = grades, for example, the really smart people don't really have to work that hard, while most of us have to put forth a lot of effort to get good grades, so basically if you have low grades it usually means you aren't working hard enough(or need to ask for help, etc...). So not to sound bad, but if one isn't getting good grades then in most cases(not all) one simply isn't working hard enough, which is a perfectly good reason for someone to get annoyed at one.

As for how I would say it, I would admit to your failure and resolve to do better, cut out things that are merely wasting your time and use that extra time to study, learn to study more efficiently, etc...

 

[Doc]

My parents check a website that updates our grades and scores on every assignment. If I don't turn in homework or am doing poorly, I got no chance to calm them down. They then take my stuff away for a week...

 

[Libk]

I always hated grades for the reason that my parents could check them online. There would be several times where a teacher just hasn't put anything into their system and I am failing a class because of that, my parents gets all pissed at me then boom, A next week when a report card comes. Even though they had this happen multiple times, I'd still get in trouble if the bad grade wasn't my fault. when I did have a bad grade, however, I just explained the situation. If I wasn't doing work, I'd admit it. If I had done the work, I'd ask my teacher what happened, get a statement from them and prove to my parents I did it.

 

[misskitten]

I think the pressure some parents put on their kids is very sad. There are different ways of motivating, better ways. You can't threaten a person to perform, not without consequently developing a bad relationship, and perhaps laying a bad foundation for what kind of parent the kid eventually will become... Also, people fail to see how grades =/= knowledge. What a person knows and what they are able to regurgitate come test time is very different. Grades are nothing more than a doorway to the future, sure the higher the average, the more doors are presented to you - but how well you do in life is down to a lot of other things, more important things - your dedication and effort, your ability to think on your feet, your ability to use information (not just finding and repeating it), and last, but not least; your choices.

 

[Beauts]

My parents don't care about grades. If I come home with a C, they don't care (as long as I don't fail). I actually disagree with pressuring students to get good grades. To me, as long as the student tries hard to do the best they can, any grade would suffice. If my kids came home with Cs, I wouldn't care. It's the effort that counts.

I agree with this. When I was at school, I was always really really bad at Maths. Firstly, I remember finding it so boring that I just couldn't concentrate on it at all. I was really good at everything else, so I guess I got used to not really having to work for good marks, so Maths frustrated me and latterly I'd get really anxious about it. By the time my GCSEs came round, I was in the top class for Maths but I swear to God to this day I have no clue what I was doing there. I was getting E's when everyone else was getting A's, and I was working around the clock to try and get my head round stuff like trigonometry and whatnot and it all just went in one year and out the other. Most of my friends were doing really well and I remember how much it upset me when they were *****ing about getting A's and not A*s and I was struggling to scrape a D, let alone passing the subject, and I was working much harder than them. I mean, you can't be good at everything but they made me feel about 2 inches tall. It was like a skinny person complaining they're fat in front of a normal weight person- imagine how much of a heffalump that normal person is going to feel.

Now I'm a bit older and I've come to see those school days and grades in a completely different light: first, you leave school and find out very quickly that grades mean squat in the real world. It all looks good on paper but the fact is, the more time that passes between when you got that A and where you are now makes that A less relevant anyway because you won't be using half those skills from school in any feasible job. So, while of course you should aim to do the best you can, crying over getting a B in the long run is a huge waste of time when you could be doing something productive. That also applies to your parents, and maybe they should get a gentle reminder of that. I was never under any real pressure to get good grades from my mum, the pressure came from myself. I was always one of the gifted and talented students getting told constantly how smart I am, so I came to have an irrational fear of feeling stupid. You can only do well if you're doing it for yourself. Second of all, re the maths: I ended up getting a C, scraped in by 2 marks. Yes, many people did a lot better than me but do you know how freaking hard I worked for that C? To me, the fact I managed to pull myself up at the last minute was achievement enough.

I can't help you that much if you've got those kinds of parents who really think grades are the be-all and end-all. I can't change their mindset, so the best I can do is to suggest you explain how hard you worked, and that you feel you did well for yourself, not for a bunch of national statistics. You're young, give yourself a break.

 

[Firice da Vinci]

The first step is to avoid showing anyone my grades. Without proof, no accusations can be filed. This rule applies no matter what. even when I have straight A's, no one should dare look at my report card.Of course, said tactics does not always run smoothly. Sometimes my grandma will see it laying on my bed while she sweeps me room or asks to see it. Point of no return. If anything were below a ninety, asks why, I answer, she calls the teacher some profane words for the rest of the year, while I sit there fully aware that it was my fault.

My grades do not matter to much all that much. It is a little disappointing to see an 88 in my English Honors class, but my best efforts were not good enough. That is all there is to say about it. Though being one of those kids the does not try all that hard (sorry?) I'll probably end up as as either a valedictorian or salutatorian anyways. I would be depressed for a little bit if top ten is all I could achieve, not going to lie, but I have a pretty good idea of what my future shall entail. No number is going to stop me from doing what I want to do. The economy on the other hand...

 

[Mangachick14]

I typically don't fail at school. Usually, My average isn't any lower than a seventy, so I've never really had to explain bad grades (Except in Math. SCREW Math.) Plus, my parents hold the belief that as long as I tried my best, my grades don't matter.

 

[Mudora]

It's a subjective term, but I would say that I get pretty good grades. Currently, they're all 90+. My parents have always told me though, "I'd rather see you working hard and putting effort in and get a 70% than never try and get a 80%."

 

[Violet Link]

I'll tell the truth. Saying that I didn't exceeded their expectations, I'll just tell the truth and let them say that I'm a disappointment. So to prevent them from saying that, I'll just go on and try my hardest to score better. But that rarely happens...

 

[Snow Queen]

I usually own up to my mistakes. Unless the teacher messed up.